Did you ever want to take a break but your wife wants to keep you locked

[chasteandcold]

Yes there is always kind of an escape but she's really now turning it into, and considering it as a lifestyle and not a game anymore. And to be honest, I am happier now than before this all started.

There you go. You are consenting to this lifestyle. There is nothing wrong with that, hell I am in a similar boat. I have consented to being locked up and having my wife determine what if any sexual pleasure I have.

But I am under no illusions, I have consented to this. With that consent, comes with the reality that sometimes I may not like it 100% of the time. But .. you can't have your cake and eat it too.

 

[from_husband_to_sissy]

Yes!
I am 10months locked. 10 months did not feel her pussy. She fucks lots of other guys (+5/week).
And yes i am craving to fuck her again. But she does not allow.

For me that would be the end of the marriage, I'm really not into cuckolding.

 

[The Queens consort]

I work a part time job, 3 days per week. I am unlocked during my workdays. The rest of the time I am usually locked. After doing some PITA vehicle maintenance yesterday, my Queen asked if I needed to leave it off for a while and take a break. Of course I told her no, and stayed locked. So my situation is different, but if I felt a break was in order, my Queen would allow it.

 

[Nicoftime]

Short answer is yes and no. Of course I can stop the next time it’s removed. Will she think I would rather touch myself than keep myself desperate for her? Yes. Will she feel sadness for the loss of control, and confidence that I have taken back? Yes. Will there be reactions both from my new attitude towards her and hers towards me? Yes. Will she be happy? No.

That’s the whole point of that familiar saying of being careful of what you wish for. So by all means yes you can take breaks whenever you want. That doesn’t mean there won’t be consequences.

 

[Sexy Slave 69]

Chastity doesn't really start until you want out, congratulations on that milestone

 

[Xileh]

She is in no way dominant and very kind and loving.

Does she show you attention and perhaps tease you while being locked?

 

[cogman]

This is actually hard to answer. But if I asked she would let me not lock up....Sometimes I feel like a break but then I have had breaks before and I hate having breaks. Even when we go on holidays (o/s only, domestic holidays it stays on) and she usually tells me I can swing free....I dread that part to the point I dont like traveling over seas which is really stupid so I dont let it stop me.

It is so entwined in our relationship and how it works I think id be frightened it would change something. I suspect she would feel the same.

Then there is the question why such a thing is so important in a relationship.

She would not say no, but I expect it would cause some anxiety.

 

[Drews]

Does she show you attention and perhaps tease you while being locked?

She shows me a lot of attention. She teases me and is in every way wonderful. I guess after seven years I just feel being locked up has run its course. My wife still loves me being locked. She hates when I jerk off and feels like my affection and orgasms were taken from her

 

[Tamed again]

She shows me a lot of attention. She teases me and is in every way wonderful. I guess after seven years I just feel being locked up has run its course. My wife still loves me being locked. She hates when I jerk off and feels like my affection and orgasms were taken from her

I don't think there's a good way out of this situation. It seems like it's just a fact that she prefers how you are when you don't jerk off. You can don't have to consent to keep doing it, but she's gong to be disappointed if you do, and you'll be taking a big risk with how your sex life develops if she thinks you're more interested in masturbating than saving your energy for her. This is one of the reasons people say be careful what you wish for. It's never just a game.

 

[Woodys Locked Up]

Did you ever want to take a break but your wife wants to keep you locked?​

Yes AND No!

What is chastity? It's not just a physical device with a lock & key. It's really about giving up total control of your sexuality to your partner. My wife believes that this should be the case 24x7x365 til death do us part. I agree with her.

But there are times I want release because I start thinking more about my own physical pleasure than hers. I put my own lust & desires ahead of hers. Instead of figuring out how I can pleasure her emotional & physically, I become more focused on my own pleasure. It's these latter times that I want a break.... so that I can be selfish.

My wife doesn't want me to be locked. She wants perfect submission with no restraints. I can't help the weakness of my mortal flesh. So the cage it is.

 

[Vance]

You are definitely a lucky man! I would loose my mind my mind if my misses actually started enforcing chastity, even against my protests.

I have thought about the scenario that after a night of drinking I fall asleep and wake up with the cage on and having to obey to earn the keys back.

 

[outro2006]

Living the dream, eh?
I’m only locked during her period, so it’s another arrangement for me.
However, on a micro scale, during Locktober and November, I did feel the need for a break. What I got was either a “NO you don’t”, or I was tied up on the couch for an hour with the cage removed. After that, cage back on and that was the break Not what I had in mind, but hey, still technically a break.

 

[Twoholegurl]

I very often wanted out of my cage in the beginning and I was begging my wife and Mistress to let me out. Somewhen she had enough and when I again started begging her to let me out, just one Minute, she let me out and gave me 10 mins ballbusting. After she really kicked me with her beautiful feet to the floor, she asked very nicely: "You now want 1 or 2 mins to jerk off and then I kick your balls again before you get back in your cage or do you prefer going directly back in the cage?" I preferred directly back in my cage. Four times she did this with me, then I had learned not to ask anymore. And today I just feel weird and it feels wrong, when I dont wear my cage. I sissygasm today, when my wife fucks me with strapon or fists me and I never ever want ro use my ugly part again.

 

[Susanstoy91]

Over the last seven years, I've been cage free for more than 24 hours or more maybe 3-4 times. I have asked my Wife (KH) a few times if she is bored with chastity and her answer is always "No".
Yes, there are times I wish I could reach down and play with myself and masturbate, but can't.
After years of masturbating, when I was single and young, to having a great sex life with my Wife. Male chastity has become part of our life. My sex life is great with my Wife (KH). My only orgasm over the last three years has been one "wet dream".
My Wife loves teasing me and making me "leak", which is my only release.
I have said it here many times... My Wife has only one regret and that is that we didn't find Male chastity sooner in our relationship. She has always told me that she would have had me in a cage right from day one. I would say that my Wife's sex life hasn't suffered at all. She has more orgasms now then she had when we were younger. At our ages, it's all about enjoying life. I would do anything for my Wife, she deserves it.

 

[spin418]

Yes!
I am 10months locked. 10 months did not feel her pussy. She fucks lots of other guys (+5/week).
And yes i am craving to fuck her again. But she does not allow.

 

[Sirtofawn]

Our situation is different, as we're in a strict FLR. My wife requires that I am always locked, and despite there being times that I would prefer not to be, she feels otherwise. I agreed to this in the beginning, recognizing that there may be times I want out, but agreeing that she should make the decision.

It sounds like she has a dominant streak in her and may want to explore some sort of an FLR. Perhaps sitting down and talking about what she expects versus what you would like you two can cone to an agreement.

 

[Xileh]

I guess after seven years I just feel being locked up has run its course.

Is there anything in the relationship that could alter that course to your satisfaction?

 

[Danny15]

After 7 years of being locked most of the time other than during sex which happens often and is good I seem to have lost interest. Last weekend when I was unlocked for sex I just was not into locking again like usual. Nothing was said about it for a week. We had sex twice and I was enjoying a little freedom. A few hours after we had sex the second time my wife asked me why I was not locked. She looked to see if anything was wrong and was very concerned to make sure nothing was hurting me. I told her the cage is fine and never hurts and that I just want a break. She thought about it for about an hour and came back with the cage and said she wanted it back on . My wife is very vanilla and the cage is about me not being able to masturbate and also she says I sometimes get pushy wanting piv when she does not want it. She is in no way dominant and very kind and loving. I gave in and put the cage back on. She was very happy and said that we will finally get back to good sex. She then had me get her off twice while I stayed locked. Has anyone else lost interest and if so what did you do? I hope to gain interest again for my wife but I also might have just been locked long enough.

I'm locked & forgot . I've been self locking for 6 yrs & my wife has only held the key for 10 months . We haven't taken the journey together so she just expects me to be locked. No tease, no interest at all from her . There have been plenty of times I've just thought a few days off would be lovely but I dare not ask . It's taken me 20 years to get her to this point I'll ride out the boring days as I don't want her to think I'm not interested

 

[Drews]

Is there anything in the relationship that could alter that course to your satisfaction?

My relationship amazing and I love being with her. I just wonder if being locked is the best thing for our relationship right now

 

[Xileh]

I just wonder if being locked is the best thing for our relationship right now

What do you hope to change?

She seems to like you locked, she teases you. What is missing? Something kinky that you have not revealed to her? A new Corvette? A lot of us go through this.

I hope you can verbalize it. It sounds like you have a solid relationship to work from.

But, a break is ok. It will be better if you know what you hope to change.

 

[Xileh]

It is so entwined in our relationship and how it works I think id be frightened it would change something. I suspect she would feel the same.

It is a trap.

At its roots, FLR and chastity is a bit fringe. As such, you need to communicate often. She may very well have ideas she wants to try. The only way to beat routine and stuck, is to talk. And, be comfortable talking.

 

[Sirtofawn]

@Heatrip, You hit it out of the park. That's where my wife and I are at. She routinely says no, she routinely has me go months locked and chaste. It's all to show me that she is in charge. I don't get a say, and she will make the final decisions no matter how I feel about it. It's a hard pill to swallow some days, but I've learned to trust her and to enjoy the ride.

 

[horse]

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[Drews]

Thanks for the replies to my question. Some were very helpful and many were very interesting stories but not related to my situation. My wife and I finally had a long discussion about why she is so insistent about me being locked up. Sometimes it is very difficult for me to get her to talk about what is really on her mind ( I went through that a couple years ago asking her about her ultimate sexual fantasy and promising to do it but that is a totally different story). I pretty much knew her thoughts but a lot of times I am unclear what she is thinking. She wants me locked for two reasons. The first is she really hates when I jerk off. She says it takes away our intimacy and that I become lousy in sex and become detached. Secondly she says I become aggressive wanting piv at times she is not in the mood and it is easier for her to say no when I am locked. She agreed that I can take a break or we can totally give up the cage if I want but she really likes the way I act when she keeps me locked. Based upon the discussion I agreed that it is best for me to stay locked all the time unless she unlocks me for sex. She in no way wants a FLR relationship or to be a dominatrix. I am not at all submissive (no offense to anyone here) and do not have an interest and either does she. Now that I understand where she is coming from I am happy to stay locked for her. It is actually really easy with my cage since I rarely know it is on. We did solve an issue I had with metal detectors and TSA since I travel for work almost every week with a new cage and lock that makes the detectors and TSA not an issue. Thanks for all your thoughts and some really entertaining stories about your journeys with chastity.

 

[Queens servant73]

I can ask for a free day and usually be granted permission, the days of freedom week or two, long gone. I knew it could be a risk after reading through many discussions on this forum in the early days of cage play. And after about year two, my Wife said she’ll never give up living this way, and if I’m honest, I don’t want to either. An occasional day off to not have to deal with the cage is nice, and I probably could go cage free for a week or more, however this lifestyle wouldn’t take a break. She’s told me many times, she decides about all things sexual now, so freedom wouldn’t mean daily fucking and orgasms. And if I were to cheat and jerk off, she’d be pissed and probably stop being my keyholder, which wouldn’t mean we go back to pre cage days of daily piv of course. So no win for me except a quick guilty cum? Not worth it.


There really is zero reason for our key holders to give up their power, so embrace the suck till you feel better about it all. Of course you should have a serious talk about how you’re feeling if it’s more than a fleeting moment of wanting a little break.