I Wish I didn't Like Penetration So Much.

Also I'm fairly certain the pointing

 

No need to apologize. I am sorry if I misconstrued. Many thanks for the clarification. The important thing is that whatever comes out, she is in control and it seems you have that going! Well done!

 

I spent a long time last night writing about how a woman can allow a man to cum inside her but remain in control and not just become a container for his cum, how she can do it and he remain submissive. Then, when I went to press send I had lost internet connectivity. Then I wake up this morning and find that in the meantime @LeadingLady has written almost exactly what I wrote!

I think the major difference is quite simply in the use of the phrase penis irrelevance. My Wife currently doesn't think my penis is irrelevant but she is still evolving from my wife into my Wife. Where this will go I have no idea. The one thing I do know is that I am only allowed to use my penis with her direct and implicit permission and when we do have PIV sex she is in charge no matter who is penetrating who.

My Wife used to like me inside her much more than she does now but I have become much, much better at pleasuring her with my mouth. Before I was good, now I can honestly say I am very good. We have also discovered the amazing yoni massage where I pleasure her with my hands. These activities along with delay spray mean I am pushed to ever longer periods of denial by Elle. It is just over a week since I was allowed to cum inside her and that after five months and a day of denial. I was very much submissive to her during the entire lead up to that moment of orgasmic explosion and remained submissive and in awe of her afterwards.

 

I can see this being a struggle for some women, especially if piv sex with partner is so good.

I am kinda small, and although she can cum with it, she's not confusing it with the"oh my god I just got fucked!" kind of orgasm. I relate it to all the differences in orgasms I have. I can jack off and cum in 30 seconds, no where near as pleasurable as having it inside her or her stroking me. All orgasms are not created equally.

So although it took some time to get used to the idea of having sex without it, she isn't missing the intense pleasure that some are. I am sure she sometimes misses the intimacy, and like I do, enjoyed knowing their partner is pleased. There is a certain amount of contentment knowing you made them cum.

In all reality though, she is having better Os, and many more Os, than we ever could with me inside her. So the feeling of her missing out is not as great as some others here. But totally understand the dilemma

 

It's kinda funny because thinking back on the sex mistress_m and I have had over the years. There was definitely a sweet spot in our relationship for several years before we had our child that I knew her body so well and gave her very intense multiple orgasms via PIV sex. After the baby we had to wait a while before we could even have PIV sex again and even when we could it wasn't like before. I had to be very gentle for a while as much of the tissue down there was very sensitive and in a way I had to relearn her body. Chastity has worked out well for us for this reason.

So now except for every once in a great while I don't think she really enjoys PIV that much. Over the last year she'd usually make me wait 6 weeks before allowing me in. When I'm allowed to she demands I get off quickly and I'm usually only allowed in after I've orally pleasured her. After her orgasm the additional pleasure I think she derives from me penetrating her is the control factor and how it makes her feel that she makes me want to cum so quickly. She knows I don't want to orgasm and make it last as long as I can because I enjoy penetrative sex so much. If I try to stop or hold off she gets mad at me and then I have to continue until I orgasm which is usually seconds later. Even though she's allowed me inside, it's completely on her terms and therefore whether she's intended this or not I'm kept in a submissive head space because my cock is on a hair trigger. Even just using the honor system I'm just as sensitive and prone to premature ejaculation as being in the cage. This is another way she's able to tell if I've been good.

I also very much agree with @Nicoftime that no orgasm is created equal. Even getting off as quick as I do I never cum as hard as when I'm allowed to with penetrative sex. The few times I've been bad and did it myself I found they were not even close to the way she can make orgasm. A couple of the times I was bad more recently (I hope she's doesn't read this) I wasn't even hard and I started to cum. It was really strange, like my cock wouldn't work properly unless she was the one touching me. Kinda weird and I wonder if that's all part of being in sub head space.

 

I know i am not helping with the entire problem because you said you like when he cums inside you. My wife has decided to have me please her while wearing a strap-on. we still have sex regularly, infact more than we used to, and she still feels close to me and loves me penetrating her with the strap-o. we have multiple sizes and one that vibrates so for her, she gets the action, her O's and i get tortured. its a win win for her.

 

This I can see is an issue.
Two possibilities.
One: you find a 'holy grail' technique somehow not involving PIV which will give you all the satisfaction you want without it, Or, failing or until this
Two: you have or develop some PIV methods which will entirely satisfy you but do nothing for him at all (maybe numbing cream inside a condom or whatever else) and leave him totally unstaisfied and frustrated..

 

I must be weird. I absolutely love PIV sex with my Wife when I am numbed and feel nothing and have no chance of an orgasm myself. I get to really concentrate on her, to not worry about whether I am going to cum too soon and spoil her chance of an orgasm. I get to watch her as she slowly builds up to that orgasm and watch her crumble into it. If I am close to an orgasm at that point I would be desperately holding on and the last thing I would be looking at his how damn sexy she looks at this point. I never feel frustrated, if anything I am happier when she exerts this level of assertive control and denies me.

Then there is the issue of how long it takes me to build up that buzz extended periods of denial give me. It is over a week now since my last orgasm and I am not even close to getting back to where I was. I am not saying I don't want to orgasm, I do, it is just not frustrating for me when it isn't allowed.

 

We

well just got pierced. There was a second or two of pretty intense pain, 8/10, but lasted very briefly. YMMV. So far no pain. Very little blood, no peeing issues, no burn, stinging sensation. In fact I can pee standing.

Compared to getting snipped. Getting pierced is more painful when it’s happenning but at least so far it’s over. With the vasectomy, no pain during, local anesthetic, but hurt for 2-3 days after.