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Is chastity meant to prevent male orgasms

Discussion in 'The Pedestal' started by Mistress B, Dec 18, 2016.

  1. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B
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    I know that there are many reasons why chastity cages are used to contain male erections but on reading through some of the many threads on here written by males, it seems to me that some of you males that claim to be locked are having more ejaculations and orgasms than many males who aren't caged at all.
    I find that unless a subbie is caged for a minimum of 6 weeks, his attitude towards a female led relationship, no matter how much he desires it, will not change dramatically and he will still assume that he can expect teasing and attention whenever he wishes it.
     
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  2. i agree Ma'am. Some Subs look on chastity as a fetish, that excites them. i and the Mistresses the placed me in chastity looked at it as a way for the Owner to enforce Her Dominion over Her property and to mentally condition Her property to understand his proper place. Her pleasure is all important, his means nothing.
     
  3. Many men are kept locked so they are only able to have an orgasm when their partner wants them to. They don't live in an FLR so that part of chastity is not relevant.

    This question is as loaded as the one that recently caused such a huge argument about what style of chastity was wrong, whose use of chastity was the right one. The online keyholder with no tease and denial or the loving wife who thrives on tease and denial of their partner.

    Claim to be locked? Expect tease and denial?

    Here we go, chastity wars chapter two.
     
  4. So what you do isn't a fetish?
     
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  5. Our personal expiriance with chastity has not been to prevent orgasms. That is something I have chosen to deny on my own.
    Like it's been said my pet can not keep his hands off. I have witnessed it.Days I have left him out and evey time I look at him he has his hands down his pants, and I'm not exaggerating. It also stops from him trying to stick it in when ever he wants.
    Stop the juices from flowing and you stop the man from trying to control.
     
  6. My wife and I believe that orgasm denial goes hand in hand with chastity. Where is the Chastity if you are having a lot of orgasms? We believe that chastity does not begin until I am denied longer than I want to be.We also believe that people should do a fetish in a way that they both enjoy and make up their own rules. I have grown to love the anticipation of an orgasm more than the orgasm itself. It is addictive. There are all different ways people do Chastity. Self locking, having a KH that they are not in love with, etc.. There are no rules so as long as they are having fun, it is all good.

    The longer I am denied, the more sex we have and now that we are going months between my orgasms, my wife is having the best orgasms in her life and multiple ones at that. She is also performing oral every time we have sex instead of just on special occasions. I no longer need Viagra or stress about not being able to get erect anymore. We view chastity as a joint effort to keep me orgasm free as long as possible. I can escape at any time or end it by uttering my safe word but I do not want to escape or give myself an orgasm by holding a vibrator against my cage. I would only be cheating myself.

    I will admit that I do smile a little when I read someone saying that they went three days without an orgasm and it was difficult for them. Oh how I long for those days. I loved orgasms. Loved them so much that I lived with my wife and a girlfriend we shared plus we engaged in group sex and I dated other women. However, at our advance age, with much lower libidos and only the two of us left, Chastity and T&D fit in perfectly. It made those long weeks between my orgasms into a fun sex game.
     
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  7. Sometimes she makes me wait a while, other times, as has been the case lately (and as I recently posted about...) she's in the mood to play more. So we play more. And you're right. Weeks like this I get off more than most uncaged men I know.

    She will certainly continue to push my limits with length of time caged and denied: When she finds it hotter or more fun and entertaining to keep me wanting, she keeps me wanting. But because she enjoys that time itself. Not because it's a means to some end.

    Not all men require a cage and two months of orgasm denial to treat their woman right.

    I think that's the fundamental difference: Is the cage helping you change your man? Or is the cage giving you new ways to enjoy the one you've got.

    If your man already treats you like a queen, knows what he's doing in the sack, and is able to please you right, then keeping him in long term denial would probably seem less attractive. A few weeks at a time because you enjoy THOSE WEEKS for the fun dynamic denial creates - yes. Months at a time because you're waiting for him to become what he's not - no. That's just not applicable for everyone.

    There's no claims here. She keeps me locked 100% of the time that she's not using me for fun. That gives her EXTREME power and control. She just isn't using that power and control for what you seem to think she should be using it for. And she certainly doesn't need to waste it sitting around for weeks on end waiting for me to start thinking of her first. I've been doing that since the moment I met her.

    She doesn't want an FLR. She doesn't want to control a puppy. Where's the fun in that? She wants to control a man. She wants to watch me grit my teeth in frustration and desire, and to smile knowing she is controlling all that pent up aggression. And she can choose to keep me waiting until I beg her to do things to me to get me off that I NEVER thought I would do. Or, she can take the cage off me and let me take her. And after she's exhausted and well satisfied, she can put me back in till next time. Be it tomorrow, or weeks from now. THAT is power. THAT is control. THAT is what the cage is for.

    For us anyway.

    And I'm sorry if that all comes off like I'm mocking the sissies and the hardcore submissives. I'm not. I have respect for how you live this life. But I'm getting pretty god damn tired of my woman being made to feel like she's not doing something right because she doesn't want me in a bra or **gasp** because she actually enjoys teasing me, or me fucking her. You see, the cage gives her both - someone she can dominate at home and play like a fiddle sexually, AND someone who will pummel your face in the parking lot for talking to her the wrong way.


    You may not want a pig headed asshole of a man like me. I get that. Months and months without having sex with your man may do great things for your relationship. I don't get that, but I don't have to. It's all good. Why though do I and those whose KHs DO enjoy those things and use chastity to highten their man's sexuality rather than stifle it continue to be forced to defend themselves around here lately?
     
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  8. I think already the wording itself contains a restriction that doesn't exist. It states, that chastity and / or CBs are there to limit ones erections / orgasms, but is that necessarily so ?

    I know for exampe a couple for whome chastity has nothing at all to do with D/s. They lock each other during the week for fun and seem to have more than enough sex at the weekend.

    As for me chastity was rather a symbol of me submitting to my girlfriend and didn't change all to much on the amount of my orgasms or even how often we had intercourse. With time the amount of my orgasms changes, but I still don't think that this is the only and main goal of wearing a cb- especially limiting the number of orgasms to some certain amount. What good would this do if it's not what you both wanted anyway ? Making sub more submissive? No disrespect meant, but that's in my humble opinion just bullshit ! Either I want to submit and want to do certain things and can do them (maybe after a short acclimatization period) or I don'r. But the ammount of days since your last orgasm won't influuence weather you are willing or capable of doing those things in question for sure.

    That is if you are not some brat topping from the bottom until it gets what it wants...
     
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  9. For us it's about controlling my orgasms, I don't have anywhere close to the amount I would have if unlocked. I would have had as many orgasms in a week as I've had over the last six months. She uses it as an attitude adjuster and it works, keeping me locked does make me focus on her more, but she still like to please me and she wants to get off. Nothing can replace a good hard fucking! She's not going to deny herself that under any circumstances.
     
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  10. For us it is not only about controlling my orgasms, which it absolutely is doing and has been for quite some time, but it is her 24/7 leash and collar on me. A constant reminder 24 hours a day that she owns me, and in our particular case, essentially removing my penis from any sexual event. She wants me to be a sissy and has man who give her satisfaction using their cocks. She hates even the thought of me touching it or using it. As she said a long time ago "real sissies don't need a cock for anything more than peeing and torment."

    Honestly, as much as I want to still touch it even after all these years, it would change everything if I started using it again for sexual purposes. That is why I call long term chastity "delicious torture" because I cant touch it, dont want to touch it, but still ache to touch it all the time. I dont know if that makes sense but it sure does in my head.
     
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  11. For my part the locking in place of a secure Chastity belt serves to prevent any attempt to perform any sexual activity with another other than the keyholder and in order to achieve this the belt needs to prevent any form of ability to withdraw oneself enough to perform this. I am also completely immersed in the feeling of being totally encased within its grip much as i would feel were my keyholder keeping her grip around her possession.
     
  12. For us chastity play is all about getting each other so worked up we just want to s*@g each other's brains out - then we do.
    It's a lot of fun :D
     
  13. I cannot expect teasing and orgasms whenever I wish it...it's whenever she wishes it. Every time.

    Cages are a tool. She uses her tool to:
    1. Prevent orgasm without her.

    Side effects include:
    1. Loss of erections, creating more frustration.
    2. Build up of arrousal.
    3. Attentiveness and desire to please.
    4. Ability to communicate wants needs and desires to your loved one.

    When I gave up control, she accepted it, and will use it however and whenever she pleases. If she was interested in totally denying me in an effort to make me a cowering servant, she could do so. She hasn't because that's not what pleases her. Which is what this is all about for me.

    Giving up control is also liberating. I've been in relationships where I never knew if I should attempt sex, never knew if they were upset, resentment and hurt feelings were common.

    I believe a FLR can be different than having a full time slave. MLR isn't that way, why assume that giving up sexual control must change a man into a cowering servant.
     
  14. Also I don't think My pet expects anything. I think he goes day to day waiting to see what I will do but never expects me to tease him.
     
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  15. Thank you. 100% my experience with Elle. I never expect anything. Hope, of course. Expect, no.
     
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  16. We never saw chastity as orgasm prevention we see it as orgasms control,l meaning whenever mistress wants to allow them. I think it just really depends on what your overall goal with chastity is? In the long run many males in the lifestyle are denied for longer periods as time goes on. It just seems like a natural progression from what I've learned being here. As far as permanent denial goes it's probably a much smaller percentage of couples who choose to pursue that avenue.
     
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  17. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B
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    All the replies to my question have been sane, sensible and thankfully, polite. I can quite see how some couples might prefer a somewhat lighter style of chastity and if that works for both of them, then fine, we all have to start somewhere.
    I often find that in some relationships this is not the case and the female is unhappy with the attitude of her male partner, whether it be his reluctance to help around the house or sexual matters, this is where chastity may help. In cases like this, a prolonged session in chastity for the male can sometimes change things for the better, whereas a few fun days locked will have no effect at all. I am not against teasing as long as subbie is safely locked in his cage or belt.
    @Jasmic68@Jasmic68 I'm sorry if my question upset you but some of the forum threads at the moment are so full of releases and males spewing semen, (one can almost smell it), it is more like a Roman orgy or a Turkish brothel, rather than a site dedicated to chastity.
     
  18. This thread, although seemed loaded as @Jasmic68@Jasmic68 mentioned, was definitely a cut above the last horrible one where there was a 17 page debate about the correct style of chastity. This seems like a much more mature thread already. I appreciate everyones responses as well. As my guy, @Thatguyontheinternet@Thatguyontheinternet said, we don't have a FLR. We actually don't need one. Even BEFORE we started caging him, he was ALWAYS thinking of my needs first, even with me as a sexually submissive and him as a Dominant. I swear if my guy could buy me the world, he would. There is nothing he won't do for me, caged or uncaged - that is how our relationship is. The chastity and sexual aspect of it just heightens what we already have which a loving, mutual respectful and amazing relationship.
     
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  19. Thank you Mistress B, I really appreciate you explaining further your point. I think I am extremely sensitive towards criticism at the moment due to the thread @Thatgirl@Thatgirl mentioned. I had tried to be a voice of reason and was accused of leading a witch hunt. If anyone has read my journals over the past year I would hope they would understand why this deeply hurt me.

    I am certainly not one of the males adding to the odour but neither am I against those that do. In fact Elle and I feel a certain affinity to the way that Thatgirl and her guy 'do' chastity, even though we are an FLR and do longer periods of denial. The simple fact is we have the same underlying reasons for using the chaste lifestyle, those of love and fun. Elle and I talked about this earlier and she totally got their style. It's all about control, Thatgirl is the one in control. It doesn't matter how often she wants to use her guys penis, that is completely up to her.

    There is no doubt that chastity has honed my attitude towards Elle, but my attitude was good before. I do not know if I had started with a bad attitude whether chastity would have had such an affect. There is also no doubt that she likes the way I respond to her now, after four months of denial. It would appear this will be our normal due to how much more intense my response is than after two months, my previous average. But that is us and is not necessarily right for anyone else.
     
  20. True Love is the absence of expectations.....
     
  21. Wow, this is the direction I had hoped this thread would go...anyway, even though my relationship isn't heavy into the denial, I can't say I haven't wondered about it.

    I mean to say that I agreed to give her total control of my sexuality, of course I thought about what the consequences of that might be. She could decide that orgasms could be a rarity, she could say only ruined ones so I stay on edge, I told her I trust her judgment and I do.

    I certainly hope she doesn't see my pleasure as a detriment to her happiness or my behavior, but I suppose it could.
     
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  22. @Mistress B@Mistress B I definitely understand where you are coming from as what is really going to bring about major attitude change in regards to obedience, amiability and submissiveness with long term lockups. I also think there are several other ways to achieve this with chastity but without complete orgasm denial. Not that I'd have a choice but I'd be perfectly okay if my mistress chose to deny me long term (longer than 10 days at a time). I'd really do anything she wanted me too as long as it makes her happy. I think the question we're running into is asking each other what are our individual reasons for chastity? Personally I wasn't paying enough intimate attention to my wife, neither of us really noticed because we were so busy with a new baby, career changes among other things. I was selfish and watched porn and masturbated often which was not helping me stay in the mood to please my mistress, I knew I needed to make a change and was happy to come across chastity as a solution to our problem. Chastity was really just supposed to be a help with my "selfish issues". It eventually morphed into female domination (which was what I hoped for) it also morphed our relationship into a FLM. I am way more helpful around the house than I've ever been. All of our meals are my responsibility, grocery shopping, making the bed, other household chores etc... I'm not a live in maid but I do a fair bit of the housework on top of a full time job. So I don't think it's completely necessary to deny a male 6 weeks or longer just for an attitude change. I think it really depends on the couple and the dynamic of their relationship. Also for many of us couples it's an enhancement in the bedroom that evolved into our lives outside the bedroom. Just my thoughts.
     
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  23. For me it was about getting a handle on my masturbation habit. The desire is still there, but I'm not climbing the walls after a couple of days any more.

    Not masturbating all the time does enhance play time for both of us.
     
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  24. For some, perhaps even many of us a light style of play is not just where we start but also where we end - we have no interest in indulging in some behaviour-altering thing. For some it may be hard to accept but there are women who are are entirely happy with their partners and what they do. For many couples communication is all that is needed for an issue to do with, say, housework to be resolved. They would no more consider a chastity device as a way of modifying the husband's desire to wash up than they would consider a time-lock on the fridge as a way to stop themselves from snacking. They know what they want/need to do and use self-control to make it happen.
     
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  25. @Mistress B@Mistress B you ask a very good question Mistress as I have seen a lot written about anal orgasms. You can control an orgasm without a cage. I agree with some of the other comments about attitude I have always tried hard to be respectful to Mistress and all women. Being locked for me makes me more interested in having sex and helps increase my desire to Mistresses levels..
    Happy Christmas to you and Jemima
    Lucy x