In kinky circles, there are these checklists that help people think about what they might enjoy trying.
They are helpful to find "win-win" activities, and to find compatible play for two people.
Surprisingly, I read someone say that the biggest wins can be where one person has strong desire, and the other is neutral- then they can try it, and if they find fun ways to play with it, the neutral often rises due to all the fun generated, and they find win-win ways to play with that.
BUT, chastity play seems more complicated and often can cause stress, or resentment, etc. And I would think the guys lists might have some different items than the keyholder lists?
It seems like couples that find fun ways to play with chastity, do a better job at finding the win-wins. I suspect the guys are easier to figure out- as far as what they'd like to try. I think it is often the key holders that take time to figure out how they want to enjoy chastity and what to experiment with. And of course, those interests often change with time and experience.
So anyway, I wondered if anyone has seen any "keyholder interest checklist" or something that helps a keyholder think about what they'd like to play with or experiment with next?
The following is first try at a draft list . I don't think it's right or comprehensive or anything. And of course a much better list would be written by keyholders. I tried to scan what keyholders here were saying they enjoy about chastity, and drafted this list.
Rate 1-5 your interest in these ideas:
5- Very hot. Want to try
3- Neutral. May do if it excites & motivates my partner
1- Probably don’t want to do
Keyholders
I enjoy him being more attention to my needs & wishes.
I enjoy the increased affection he gives me.
I enjoy how he’s more attentive and obedient.
I like how he acts less selfish in chastity
It arouses me to know that he is enduring chastity for me.
Sometimes I’m in the mood to boss him around a little, and he has no choice.
I experience a feeling of contentment with my man in chastity.
I enjoy receiving more pampering and more offers of assistance, when he’s locked
I like the show of dedication, like a wedding ring.
I love to have control over his sex, orgasms & erections.
I like having control over him in general.
I want him to feel sexually controlled by me.
I like the apparent unfairness. It’s hot to me.
Chastity lets me have all the sex I want, in the EXACT WAYS I want.
I enjoy how I can make him “sexually desperate”.
I want him to anticipate my needs & keep learning how to please me
I like having preset chastity obligations, like a schedule with specific tasks
I like him to feel owned by me.
I like to get him back in chastity after I’m sexually satisfied
I’d like to train him to beg for certain things, when I hint at something, or prompt him.
It makes me think of sex more often to have him in chastity.
It can be fun to control exactly how he might orgasm.
I like teasing and leading up to an orgasm, but then denying it most the time.
I think giving ruined orgasms are fun. (minimal touching after point of no return)
I like that chastity gives me an opportunity to teach him certain things.
I just don’t see why he needs to be able to touch his penis if we are not using it together.
I like how his mood and priorities change in chastity.
I like a strong man, but it’s great if he does my bidding.
There are specific changes in behavior that chastity might help me achieve.
I want him to focus on getting his share of the chores done.
I want him to pitch in around the house a bit more.
I want to be able to list specific chores and have him take them seriously.
I like a little randomness in our chastity play, specifically it would be fun to try………
Chastity play amuses me, which makes it more fun.
I’d like to experiment with……..
I think my ideal chastity man archetype might be….. (knight, house husband, etc.)
As far as duration, I like to control it all myself, with him having no clue
As far as duration, I like to set a minimum period to start, and then……..
As far as duration, I like to surprise him by extending it when I feel like it
As far as duration, I can always release him if I want his penis available to me.
I don’t mind if he plays with chastity, as long as……………
They are helpful to find "win-win" activities, and to find compatible play for two people.
Surprisingly, I read someone say that the biggest wins can be where one person has strong desire, and the other is neutral- then they can try it, and if they find fun ways to play with it, the neutral often rises due to all the fun generated, and they find win-win ways to play with that.
BUT, chastity play seems more complicated and often can cause stress, or resentment, etc. And I would think the guys lists might have some different items than the keyholder lists?
It seems like couples that find fun ways to play with chastity, do a better job at finding the win-wins. I suspect the guys are easier to figure out- as far as what they'd like to try. I think it is often the key holders that take time to figure out how they want to enjoy chastity and what to experiment with. And of course, those interests often change with time and experience.
So anyway, I wondered if anyone has seen any "keyholder interest checklist" or something that helps a keyholder think about what they'd like to play with or experiment with next?
The following is first try at a draft list . I don't think it's right or comprehensive or anything. And of course a much better list would be written by keyholders. I tried to scan what keyholders here were saying they enjoy about chastity, and drafted this list.
Rate 1-5 your interest in these ideas:
5- Very hot. Want to try
3- Neutral. May do if it excites & motivates my partner
1- Probably don’t want to do
Keyholders
I enjoy him being more attention to my needs & wishes.
I enjoy the increased affection he gives me.
I enjoy how he’s more attentive and obedient.
I like how he acts less selfish in chastity
It arouses me to know that he is enduring chastity for me.
Sometimes I’m in the mood to boss him around a little, and he has no choice.
I experience a feeling of contentment with my man in chastity.
I enjoy receiving more pampering and more offers of assistance, when he’s locked
I like the show of dedication, like a wedding ring.
I love to have control over his sex, orgasms & erections.
I like having control over him in general.
I want him to feel sexually controlled by me.
I like the apparent unfairness. It’s hot to me.
Chastity lets me have all the sex I want, in the EXACT WAYS I want.
I enjoy how I can make him “sexually desperate”.
I want him to anticipate my needs & keep learning how to please me
I like having preset chastity obligations, like a schedule with specific tasks
I like him to feel owned by me.
I like to get him back in chastity after I’m sexually satisfied
I’d like to train him to beg for certain things, when I hint at something, or prompt him.
It makes me think of sex more often to have him in chastity.
It can be fun to control exactly how he might orgasm.
I like teasing and leading up to an orgasm, but then denying it most the time.
I think giving ruined orgasms are fun. (minimal touching after point of no return)
I like that chastity gives me an opportunity to teach him certain things.
I just don’t see why he needs to be able to touch his penis if we are not using it together.
I like how his mood and priorities change in chastity.
I like a strong man, but it’s great if he does my bidding.
There are specific changes in behavior that chastity might help me achieve.
I want him to focus on getting his share of the chores done.
I want him to pitch in around the house a bit more.
I want to be able to list specific chores and have him take them seriously.
I like a little randomness in our chastity play, specifically it would be fun to try………
Chastity play amuses me, which makes it more fun.
I’d like to experiment with……..
I think my ideal chastity man archetype might be….. (knight, house husband, etc.)
As far as duration, I like to control it all myself, with him having no clue
As far as duration, I like to set a minimum period to start, and then……..
As far as duration, I like to surprise him by extending it when I feel like it
As far as duration, I can always release him if I want his penis available to me.
I don’t mind if he plays with chastity, as long as……………
