Married with children: Chastity Edition

Lol!! I hear ya, I love being a dick! Jk, never mean though.

She told me that soon she's going to tie me up and give a paddling till I'm begging her to stop. Sounds hot when I haven't had an orgasm in 3 weeks, not so much when I just had one.

Afraid I'll get pissed...might have to make sure major punishment only happens when I have been locked up for awhile.

She also mentioned "oh it's going to be a long time before you're getting out" and her trying to quit going to the casino, and only letting me out if she goes. Not sure how I feel about her TRYING to make me go without, having release have nothing to do with her wants. Ok with giving up control so it's only when she wants it, not so much as a tool.

Working on it, but we'll figure it out.

 

I know it sounds shitty, some people here would kill to have my set up. One of her rules is that I service her either that night or in the morning.. sometimes I'm just tired. I then am up for punishment.

I have not had the long relationship with her before, so it wasn't hard to start calling her mistress, can imagine it's difficult changing how you address someone that you've been married to for so long.

Oh I can see people just wanting to kick us in the nuts and steal our kh's.

 

Im sad too hear you trobuls. In my case i think you must pick what you want out of it. And got to agree on what you want!! Me and my wife do not want a FLR that is me akting like a zombie and do as told! We devide ouer houshold chors and come to a muteral agreement on things on and oround the house. But it turns both of us on when she bosses me ourond in the house with tings that need to be done. Econemy and children Are not to be Included in this lifstyle EVER!
I think you migth need to lett it cool down a bit. And maby sett up a separat list of yes no and mabys. Then compear the list. And then compromice on the list to come too an agreement. Like a contrakt.

 

I've seen videos of guys being kicked in the nuts on Tumblr. I can't see what the attraction is! And I have my own keyholder, so you guys are safe on that score as well. I would love it though if the ladies could chat with each other, Elle still isn't that interested in joining in at the Mansion yet.

This has to be a mixture of fun and serious to work. At least it does if you are doing chastity 'our way', within a loving and non abusive relationship. It has to be fun for both parties to keep that spark going that attracted you to each other in the first place. It has to be serious enough so that you accept her control of your orgasms.

I am lucky. I don't have an overly dominant bone in my body, but I am also not a complete walkover. Elle wouldn't want me to be 100% submissive. So my just submissive enough is working really well for us. If you guys are more alpha then you need to come up with your own definition of what you are doing. Nobody says you have to live in an FLR to make this work. But you do have to let go of a lot of preconceived ideas about what sexuality is. Elle certainly did, she had to stop thinking her sexual success was measured by my orgasm. I have had to accept that her wish that I do not cum is more important than my own desire.

And I have dropped so many hints about being made to wear panties that I could definitely be accused of topping from the bottom!

 

Just to Put in my side .
He doesn't want to wear panties ,all of a sudden all tho a few weeks ago he was wearing them with out me even asking. Even showing off for me. Now all of a sudden it's oh He doesn't like it

He wasn't to hear stories from me. From when I lost my V untill I met my husband I had a lot of sex with a lot of different people... as degrading as some of my situations sound it was my life and I have no regrets. I never went home and cried about anything.But he gets sad about them and feels bad for what I did to myself. Then I start to feel bad becuase maybe I should of cared more about myslef when I was younger but I didn't. And then I feel like I just should of never said anything.

He doesn't want to call me by anything other then My pet name he gave me when we first started going out.
He complains about it all the time. I have a name it shouldnt be terrible to use it.
Punishment and training have been things that I have read about and bits and pieces I wouldnt mind working into life. But it's so hard to feel good about doing any of it becuase I just feel like he's so not into it.
Pretty much it's hard to be "told to do what you want but nothing you do I actually like."
Except for the eating my butt and some other stuff and him being played with or him getting in the bum.

We had a bad night and it put me in a sour mood

@Jasmic68 I got told today I have been getting to many ideas from being on here so I guess don't wish your wife to come on here so fast.

 

We are odd creatures. I can't even figure myself out!

 

Mistress, it seems that I am a very different man to your husband, with a different set of issues and baggage. I am pretty sure that were we to meet you would both like me, I am a fairly likeable guy, but you would be left thinking that you are glad your husband is your husband, that he is a better match for you and you would see I am perfect for Elle.

Before we started really dating Elle and I talked, a lot, for hours a day and for months. People thought we were at it like rabbits when the truth was we were becoming friends and, at that point, were completely non sexual. It set up the basis of our entire relationship. One of the things we talked about was previous sexual relationships. I know all about Elle's previous men and have no issues with anything she ever did before. Not everything that happened to her was good but that doesn't change how I feel about her, it's not like I can change anything.

I wish that Elle was more willing to punish me. It is something she is really struggling with. Most of the time I get told that what I have done is ok, that I didn't do it on purpose, that knowing she isn't happy about it I won't do it again. I disagree, and actively want her to really punish me. I am desperately trying to become a much better man for her and know that this is something I need, not fantasize about.

Most of the time I call Elle by her name unless she gives me a direct, assertively made order, and then I call her Mistress or Miss. We don't really have pet names and never have. I felt the need to call her Miss and she likes it. I asked if she would prefer Ma'am but she doesn't like that at all.

I tell Elle what I like and we have a shared Tumblr to which I post images, gifs and videos of things I like. I don't ever tell her what I will or won't do and, unless given permission, don't suggest anything. The entire point of this is for me not to put any sexual pressure on her. Last night she asked if I was still enjoying what we are doing and I told her that nothing she has done so far has come even close to making me want to back off.

I am not trying to make you feel bad about your husband, or make him think that I am some chastity know it all. Like I said I am not in any way dominant so I do not have that hurdle to get over. Believe me, this chastity thing is a series of hurdles we have to get over. It is without doubt the most intense thing I have ever done and has required the most amount of mental effort than any other thing I have been involved in. I gave my Wife a promise, that I would stop masturbating, and had nooooo idea when I said that how difficult it would be.

I wish Elle would punish me. I wish she would make me wear panties. I wish she would put on our unused strap on set, make me suck the dildo and take me anally with it. I wish.... so many things. But we do so very much that I do not in any way want her to think that I am unhappy or ungrateful with what we do, what she does to me.

I hope you both can work through this because, from what I am currently experiencing, the payoff is hugely worth the effort.

 

I'm no expert but by the looks of it i think both of you were brought to this lifestyle way too quickly and can't quite process it as it's a lot to take in ! I'm the one who brought my partner to this BDSM thing and still at our early days i would have probably refused to wear a chastity device if she asked me because i had no clue what it was in the first place .

My advice would be , just get back to the basics and slowly grind your way up to this lifestyle as both of you get comfortable living it.

I really hope you'll be able to sort this whole thing out ! Take care.

 

The chastity device thing was just an example , could have been anything else. Yeah that's my point, you build a dynamic, you don't make it up overnight. Anyways, that was just my 2 cent

Good Luck on fixing it !

 

Soo happy too hear you had a god chat and Are ready to move on. In my understanding we both Are Big alpha males. And to lett go and be submussiv is hard at times. And when in this new lifstyle its hard to find your owne limits too start whit. We try things out. Like you and pantis. And maby we fint its out of ouer comfert sone. And make it a hard limit.

Like you say. You need to find the dynamic. And it takes month if not years. I think we started the chastity life about the same time. And you guys lookt like you had been doing this for years from day One. Maby that is a bit why you got a setback?i dont know. Lets hope its back on track noe.

 

hey @Steve-0 and @LQsLady. I hope you will both figure out what works for both of you. From experience I can say what you want can and will change and evolve. I was always turned off by FLR and also discipline but I am strongly turned on by domestice discipline now. Take it slow.

The one thing I noticed for me was that the only way to be more happy and more in balance with my hormones was to completely stop porn. I did it for myself first and for my wife and our amazing mariage second but we both benefited imensely. With stopping the porn stoping masturbation becomes a lot easier. Anyway good luck for your journey together and please both of you keep a log. This is great for you looking back but also for others just starting out. Big Hug.

 

So happy to hear that you seem to have worked things out Steve-0 and LQ'sLady. Was afraid that we were going to loose both of you.

 

Great pic bro! Looks like it fits like a glove. Makes me want to order one of them like yesterday lol.

 

I think reading the naughty bits from both perspectives could be very interesting...