I already introduced myself, and am quite downtrodden and upset today. After years of finally getting the courage to ask my so very vanilla wife (whom I love and treasure more than anything), I thought she would be more receptive and willing to get involved. So, I thought. After erection and possible ruined orgasms issues for the last two times she released me, she locked me Friday morning. She seemed to be playing along. She went out on Friday night and told me to put the kids to bed and clean up the house, came home ordered a foot rub (where I was literally kneeling at the edge of the bed and she was just scrolling facebook) and wanted to cuddle. No release. Saturday I was on fire doing chores and even carved out time for her twice to go out and have coffee and enjoy herself, then dinner with friends. Came home, wanted to cuddle again. No Release. Sunday was more chores, hour long footrub watching TV, and then just as we were about she had a social media issue and wanted to talk and cuddle again. Monday, I went to work and came home and did chores and put kids to bed, finally some time to play... So mind you for the last couple of days, I have been straining at cage trying to get hard and leaking chastity tears all over the place. So after a super long back and leg rub, she unlocked me to go down on her and bring her to two climaxes. I couldn't get hard, but I was horny as hell. What. The. Fuck? After days of wanting to get out, the moment to shine, I am so limp. She got super upset, started crying and said this is too much for her and she is worried about me. We talked about it and I think for me its mental. I don't think its health related, but I'm not sure. Talk about the whole fucking fantasy thing just crashing right before your eyes. She tried to jerk me off, but still only half hard. We talked a little more, and went to bed unlocked. In the morning as I got ready for work and was about to walk out the door, she pulled me aside and said lets keep trying and to move forward. "Go get yourself ready" She made me lock up to go to work where I write this now. I think she is on board but two hours later told me to not pressure her as it is too much. In the meantime, I emailed my doctor about Viagra and Cialis. She is writing a script to our pharmacy for tonight. I want to see if it is just me mentally, or if there is something else going on. (I was having some minor issues, mostly midway performance issues) One thing I don't understand is, the chastity made me soooo horny and compliant and literally willing to do anything for my wife. Her touch was electric. Her kisses were magical. I couldn't resist her body. I was loving this retraining of my brain. Why didn't I get hard when I finally got the chance? Also, today - I'm just not feeling it. The feeling are gone. Well, shit. Further more, while doing a midday comfort lube of the base ring - I realized my penis can easily slip out of the HTV3. That super fucking sucks. The whole situation kinda sucks right now.
The mind is a very funny thing. There isn't anything physically wrong with you, its this whole "I'm locked, I need to fuck" thing. You get worked up and excited and then when your unlocked, oh! Its Mr Floppy! Now that sews the seed of doubt and wifey freaks out so it becomes a vicious circle. Don't know how you overcome it though! I've had it before where she has unlocked me after a couple of months and I've been straining at the bars, only to be super soft once the cage is off. Even to the point where she has tried to get me hard and I've just emptied my balls whilst still soft! And it ain't an orgasm!!! Mrs Chaste just laughs and says "oh dear, you aren't much use to me now are you!". She then cleans me up and relocks me. Its not a big deal! So please don't worry (easy to say) its just the way you are. Stop being locked and within a couple of weeks you'd probably be " back to normal".
if it is some sort of anxiety/mental issue, her balling probably isn't going to help. Maybe have a conversation about the fact that it may be just an anxiety issue and that she may need to help get you in the mood, take your time kinda thing. Then again maybe viagra will solve the problem. I would try some different things before throwing in the towel. Let your wife know how much you enjoy this and that you want to figure things out to make it work. As for pulling out, thats pretty common. No off the shelf device will prevent that. The most popular solution is a prince albert piercing. Again I wouldn't worry about it. Chastity is mostly in the mind and you should honor you word and not fool around or pull out. If you are into chastity for some time and feel you need an upgrade then you can consider anti pullout solutions at the later date.
I almost always have difficulty getting hard immediately after being locked for long periods, and others have reported the same thing. Level of arousal doesn’t seem to have much effect; I think our bodies tend to acclimate after a while and either the muscles haven’t been exercised as much or the penile tissue temporarily loses the absorption/expansion flexibility it normally has. Even a couple of hours out can make a big difference compared to immediately after unlocking, so don’t give up! And yes, try to stay away from the psychological trap of focusing exclusively on the little guy. Use the same techniques you’d use if you were locked to focus on your Wife’s pleasure. Relax, and help her relax. Chances are you’ll find yourself standing at attention as soon as you stop thinking about it. Don’t get discouraged. As long as she’s on board to keep going with this, you can make it work. You’re not feeling it now, but that’s most likely a temporary condition. Good luck!
It's the pressure to perform. The fear of failure. The excitement. When you're a kid it's easy to cope with that - in fact your big fear was always that you'd come too soon - but as we get older the fear of failure becomes more difficult because, alongside it, there is the gradual slide into penile dysfunction. Mostly it isn't a big problem but when you hit that "pressure to perform" situation it can take over.
I feel your pain! When my husband and I first got together, he had been fantasizing about being with me for 30 years. We dated back in junior high and high school and never had sex. When we finally got back together and it was time, he wanted it so badly but no matter what we did he couldn't get hard either. It was performance anxiety. I'm hoping that's all it is for you. He has no problem with it now. LOL
It happened right away for me too, not on my first lock up but shortly after. I think after a long stretch locked up it has a mind of its own. You really confused the hell out of it! It’s no big deal, just concentrate on her for awhile and you’ll look down and you’re ready. Oh make sure she knows and is aware that this is new to you too and she has never turned you on more. Right now it’s all new and your body is confused but you aren’t, you want and desire her more than ever. The rest will more than likely work themselves out on its own. Good luck
I agree with anxiety, erection is all in head after all. Also may you fantasy only on being encaged and this has a more powerfull effect on you libido that the simple erection and the hability to have a relation with your wife ? maybe she should not free you as your arousal fall once back in a sexual normal relation. or maybe you need some more toys or cloths (like sissy or to be tied during the act) to have your erection back? Yous have to explores theses ways too. I guess the chastity and the cage is now your main fantasy, better than sex, I may be wrong.