Punishment

[enslavedbyc]

Do you have a punishment dynamic as part of your relationship?

We think there is a benefit that tends to get overlooked. It allows both of you to get past the problem relatively quickly.

For example, if you act thoughtlessly and truly hurt her feeling, you could end up with having conversations over several days. She stays with hurt feelings, you keep beating yourself up. Alternatively she can choose and administer an appropriate punishment you suffer the consequences and it’s over, done, move on.

Does this work similarly for any of you?

 

[Jay Sub]

She is happy to whip my arse every so often, I would like her to be more specific. I think it can help deepen your position as the submissive. It is usually more maintenance than punishment.

 

[Bonobo]

Yes and I avoid them at all costs. When a cane cracks your ass and back of your legs with enough force to alter behavior your behavior gets altered, it’s that simple!

If I don’t submit to a punishment our flr lifestyle ceases to exist.

Careful what you wish for fellow kinksters!

 

[LesterBallard]

No, not interested in punishment

 

[asastype]

Yes and no for me. i do get demerits for missing chores and the occasional dust-up, but the punishments and probably better classified as "funishments". Certainly nothing as severe as knowing i have let Domina down or caused Her to question my desire to submit to Her.

asa

 

[enslavedbyc]

Certainly nothing as severe as knowing i have let Domina down or caused Her to question my desire to submit to Her.

That is why my wife and I prefer real punishments. She doesn’t want to have questions linger in her mind about motivation (was I being willful or careless). She also doesn’t want me wasting energy beating myself up. She wants to make her point and then it’s over. Move on.

That being said it works for us, but may not work for you or many others.

 

[Bonobo]

No, not interested in punishment

Neither am I.

 

[CumSlut]

We have been together for nine years. Honesty was never an issue and both of us cant go to bed angry or upset, so we talk things through if there's something bothering us.

Punishment was hard to integrate. While my wife really enjoys subjecting me to bondage and several forms of humiliation, she had a hard time coming around to physical punishments. Even now she still is very merciful. Part of the reason is that our relationship started with a very asymmetric amount of experience in bdsm activities. While my wife enjoyed thinking about medieval devices and torture and such, her experience with it was fairly limited. Moving around a lot and the pandemic also robbed us of chances to receive impact training at events and bdsm classes, which we hope to get to soon. Bottom line - pun intended - she is still a bit afraid of severely hurting me by accident; so she wont pick up a bullwhip or anything like that soon.

That being said, while she is not a sadist but more of a superior/dominant Lady seeking worship and devotion from a slave, with a passion for bondage, and while I am also not a masochist, given our dynamic we both feel physical punishment is a must. In other words, I do receive spankings, whippings - flogger or riding crop - and canings. We don't do it to resolve relationship issues as we are both very honest and upfront with each other. I will also immediately humbly confess to her if I did something I wasn't allowed to, accidental or not, and will usually correct myself and agree with her when a disagreement arises. Physical punishments with impact tools will thus generally come as a consequence of misbehavior in my capacity as her slave. Other punishments - bondage as punishment, corner time, kneeling, restrictions, are more common and easier for her to decree.

 

[Headtrip]

Just started getting real.

I HATE physical punishments and pain, but I love my wife. It really helps her to work out her aggresions, and she only does so when it is for my own good, so I am learning to take it. Indeed I am even keeping score for her.

Our arguments have dissappeared and I am growing beyond what I would have otherwise. It works.

 

[emily chelsea]

that so nice

Just started getting real.

I HATE physical punishments and pain, but I love my wife. It really helps her to work out her aggresions, and she only does so when it is for my own good, so I am learning to take it. Indeed I am even keeping score for her.

Our arguments have dissappeared and I am growing beyond what I would have otherwise. It works.

thats so ni

 

[IB-Chaste]

I’ve had a few meaningful punishments.
Both of which did the trick.
I no longer make any suggestions about our sex life… well a few but not enough that she feels any pressure.
I will no longer cum without express permission. It is my responsibility to stop her if I’m too close.

I don’t really like pain as sexual artform, so when she does it. She does it for real!

 

[JuniorLeon]

My wife and I were into spanking before Chastity. We've included it in our adventure. I love being spanked with the riding crop and flogger. She spanks me to a rosy glow and loves to see my cage hang between my legs, she says get so wet doing it and makes lick her pushy after the session. Nice to include it in our Teasing and Denial

 

[MeanBitch]

Punishment is an essential component of a successful FLR. My husband knows that I will not hesitate to punish him if he falls short of my expectations.

- Punishment can be physical but loss of privileges can be just as effective, if not moreso.
- it's important that punishments be consistent and fair, not arbitrary or emotional. Explicit rules need to be in place so that your husband doesn't have any excuses for having failed, and nobody to blame but himself.
- if you control your husband effectively his greatest punishment will be the feeling of having disappointed you, His submission will be so completely internalized that any punishment you mete out will be secondary to his disappointment in himself for falling short of your expectations. That's the sign that you have created a genuine FLR.

 

[emily chelsea]

as a submissive male any and all punishment should be excepted with out question and one should thank ones owner Mistress for being Disciplined
and being corrected

 

[JuniorLeon]

as a submissive male any and all punishment should be excepted with out question and one should thank ones owner Mistress for being Disciplined
and being corrected

Hear hear

 

[Xileh]

as a submissive male any and all punishment should be excepted with out question

That’s a great fantasy, and I love it, but in reality, physical punishment should only be administered within the bounds of a pre-negotiated consent.

 

[Headtrip]

Wow. @MeanBitch I am sort of honored that you chimed in here. To be honest, your iron fist methods have started to ring true. I realize my wife loves me and wants me to be the best version of me I can. My a$$ still stings from a few weeks ago but somehow I feel complete.

 

[Headtrip]

And @Xileh I totally agree. I've just come to accept Her judgement, so it is voluntary at this point.

 

[locked_top]

it's important that punishments be consistent and fair, not arbitrary or emotional

Agreed.

 

[Devoted Hubby]

Corporal punishments plays its part in our Marriage.

 

[Jail Bird]

Disciplined here as well. It makes our D/s, WLM work well.

I'm required to keep a running "list" of my infractions my wife will refer to when my maintenance session is scheduled, which is the second Tuesday of every month. She'll tell me to put this or that on my list. I present her my list on Tuesday morning with her breakfast.

When the session starts, she reads off my list. I'm disciplined monthly as "maintenance" but the list is an added punishment.

Works for us very well. There are those rare times where she won't wait to discipline. It needs to be done right away. Those are usually bad.

 

[JuniorLeon]

We like the impromptu spanking, sometimes she just grabs her riding crop lays me on the bed and spanks away, so I don’t always know when I get disciplined

 

[WifesProperty]

I have to be spanked by her from time to time. It helps me remember what our dynamic is and resets any hesitation I have.

 

[Subhubby52]

I receive regular maintenance spankings from my wife/Mistress once a week, usually on the weekends. These have nothing to do with my behavior, but are administered to keep me in a proper submissive frame of mind and to remind me that Mistress is in full control.

Punishments are an entirely different thing. I receive them when I have misbehaved or failed to properly follow my Mistress' orders. And my punishments are always much more severe than my regular maintenance discipline.

 

[Xileh]

There are very few cases where I need to be punished, it is my goal to not put her in that position.

However, there are the maintenance sessions that reinforce her dominance. They are not easily forgotten.