Some questions for males

[L-u-c-y]

This must have happened many times... you are out with a group of your male friends, you've had few drinks and the inevitable happens and the talk turns to women... if they start discussing women in a crude derogatory manner do you ever say you disagree?

Would you ever tell your friends about your female led relationship?

Do you think such talk is just boys being boys and it will never change?

 

[tomf_22033]

Most of my friends are kinky. So they typically don’t talk crude of women. Likewise my vanilla friends don’t.

I’ve had coworkers do such things and I’ve made it clear it’s not appropriate.

As for sharing my relationship information, I only do that with close friends.

 

[lockedsliver]

First and Foremost, I don't associate with people who would be derogatory of women. However, lets just say a new guy shows up and was; I wouldn't necessarily discuss my FLR but I would tell him he needs to show respect or get out.

 

[andyDiscBF]

Most of the guys I go about with are quite respectful of females, but that's not the norm for many.

I may someday tell my friends the truth, for now I talk about "the boss" and "she who must be obeyed" in a tongue in cheek humour. I even call Her Lady C openly because She is actually entitled to use that title as most of our friends all know. Ok so I bought her 30 x 30 cm of land and the title.

I think times are a changing and what used to be a male oriented world where woman were secondary is now more balanced. There are still places especially in the industries that I work in where they are still a bit behind. I'm talking about offshore oil and gas, ship building and fabrication yards the traditional heavy industries.

 

[Guest 7929]

I tend not to hang out with the type of person that would speak in that fashion about another person.

Most of my friendships tend to operate on a “need-to-know” basis. So, while they may know that my wife and I don’t subscribe to a typical marriage and relationship, they don’t always know the full details. Although we do share and have discussions with those who are interested in knowing more about why we are so happy.

I do run into very stereotypical “boys being boys” behavior in my professional environment, and while more discretion is needed there. I do my best to call out inappropriate behavior or comments when needed.

 

[filltee]

This must have happened many times... you are out with a group of your male friends, you've had few drinks and the inevitable happens and the talk turns to women... if they start discussing women in a crude derogatory manner do you ever say you disagree?

Would you ever tell your friends about your female led relationship?

Do you think such talk is just boys being boys and it will never change?

I no longer have to share any of my time with guys like that, but if I do then I don't usually hesitate in finding a means by which either leave their company or to embarrass them into changing their ways .....well in my presence at least. This has led to a more heated argument between one of them and me a couple of times... but what the hell. If I believe in something then I stick to it.

I think if I was again to be in a full-time cohabiting relationship I would could be frank about it being Female led if it was ....though I would see no real advantage to either of us being the alpha or anyone to know if there was.

I do think a lot of such talk is 'boys being boys' and unfortunately a lot is also 'men being men' Over time I can see its occurrence becoming less commonplace but I do envisage that to some extent or other it will endure for some considerable time to come.

 

[Sissy Meg]

I work in a very conservative work place, and I'm pretty flamingly liberal/progressive. I also strongly believe females are generally superior and that as a whole, the world would be a lot better off with women leading/running it.

That said I have to closet myself politically in the environment because it can be so hostile to my political views. So no I would not say anything, nor would I correct them, I would likely find a reason to excuse myself from the conversation or a way to change the subject so that I don't get irritated and pissed off at their ass-hattery.

Outside of work, most of our friends are very tolerable and liberal so we are almost never exposed to this kind of talk or point of view. That said we are very protective of our privacy so even though our friends know were politically liberal and tolerant, they don't know that we are kinky, sexually FLR /domestically equal; nor do I think they realize how pro FL-world I am.





@filltee

I do think a lot of such talk is 'boys being boys' and unfortunately a lot is also 'men being men' Over time I can see its occurrence becoming less commonplace but I do envisage that to some extent or other it will endure for some considerable time to come.

Just my PoV - in this situation i see that there is no 'men being men' i see this only as 'boys being boys'. Boys are just children in my mind. A man, a real man can accept women as equals (or superior ) and would not see this as acceptable behavior / pov. Of course this could be because 'Boy' is a dirty word in our house and generally means I've acted like a child and/or misbehaved

 

[Deleted member 50332]

I rarely hear discussions of women in a 'crude, derogatory manner' and the few occasions I can think of the comments weren't serious or sincerely meant. I don't think it's my environment, it's just that conversations like that rarely occur.

 

[Nicoftime]

That would totally depend on the woman being spoken about...or anyone for that matter.

If a guy at work was talking about his wife I would (and have) say “hey that’s your wife!...easy!” If that person was talking about an ex wife, I would (and have) throw in my own similar story of my own. If they were talking about someone they were serious about I would say “I thought you liked her...I wouldn’t share that kind of stuff”. If it was some gal that he met in a bathroom...I would throw in a similar story involving a promiscuous lady of my past...maybe the parking lot gal.

If it wasn’t sexual and just plain ol derogatory...again it would depend on the person, whether I agreed with them, knew enough about them, or if I have heard similar comments from others which would give credence to his allegations. If someone is a jerk...well maybe they ARE a jerk. What is between their legs really has no bearing on character.

Then again, I don’t believe in gender superiority, so think that everyone should be judged and treated as their actions dictate.

 

[JiL]

My Monday thru Friday work life is in a career which is almost exclusively dominated by woman. I am one of the few boys. So, I hear virtually no degradation of women. That's not to say that those same women aren't speaking poorly of one another behind each others back, because I do see and hear plenty of that. As far as my friends are concerned, some of them are married, respect their wives, and do not speak of woman in a degrading manner. Nor do I find my single male friends speaking in a crude or derogatory fashion. However, most of my male friends are well educated, well socialized, and we're not in our 20's, 30's, or even 40's anymore. There is a time and place for most to grow up, although some miss the boat and never do. Just not the people who I generally associate with.

None of my male friends, other than those here at CM, know about my FLR. There are a few I wouldn't mind letting the secret out to, but I also have to think about the potential impact that could have for my Bride. If anyone is to know about me and our FLR, I would prefer that She have the honor and fun of letting the cat out of the bag to whom ever She chooses. We still have one young son to consider as well before we reveal what goes on to others more freely.

Like so many things in the fabric of society, I believe there will always be a few boys who will say crude and degrading things about women when they think nobody is listening. Let's just hope there will be fewer and fewer of them as society evolves. In spite of what ever has happened to me in life, I will not be a part of that conversation if it is not in an appropriate and positive light concerning women.

 

[Nadie]

The key to the question ... "Boys being Boys" ... it has been my experience that just because a person (man or women, I've seen both do it and HATE the double standard) is acting like a "Boy" does not in anyway mean that is how they actually feel.

For example when I was in the military, we all talked like Boys because we were all single and had no interest in a relationship (well really we wanted a relationship but talked a big game because we didn't have one ... Boys). However as Nicoftime pointed out it was not tolerated that a person talk about a person they were dating / married to that way and NO way did you talk about someone else's significant other (or someone that anyone had any interest in) with nothing other than respect.

But really this idea has nothing to do with FLR or Chastity ... it is 110% about treating your follow humans with respect, man or women, and keeping your own shortcomings in check.

 

[permanentslave]

my friends are above all of that and we never speak about Women in a derogatory manner. most likely it is do to our majority now and our personal life experiences and losses.

yes, would and have spoken to my friends about my Female led relationships.

such talk is indeed boys being boys, children with no respect for others except for their own overly inflated fantasy filled egos.

 

[LesterBallard]

Yes, No, Yes

I don't tend to go out with a group of men, not my thing, but when I am in a group, usually at work, conversation occasionally turns uncouth. I will and do say things to point out their neanderthal views. I don't discuss my private life at all, FLR or otherwise. And yes, there are certain types of male who are uncorrectable, I'm afraid.

 

[tomf_22033]

I work in a very conservative work place, and I'm pretty flamingly liberal/progressive. I also strongly believe females are generally superior and that as a whole, the world would be a lot better off with women leading/running it.

That said I have to closet myself politically in the environment because it can be so hostile to my political views. So no I would not say anything, nor would I correct them, I would likely find a reason to excuse myself from the conversation or a way to change the subject so that I don't get irritated and pissed off at their ass-hattery.

Outside of work, most of our friends are very tolerable and liberal so we are almost never exposed to this kind of talk or point of view. That said we are very protective of our privacy so even though our friends know were politically liberal and tolerant, they don't know that we are kinky, sexually FLR /domestically equal; nor do I think they realize how pro FL-world I am.





@filltee


Just my PoV - in this situation i see that there is no 'men being men' i see this only as 'boys being boys'. Boys are just children in my mind. A man, a real man can accept women as equals (or superior ) and would not see this as acceptable behavior / pov. Of course this could be because 'Boy' is a dirty word in our house and generally means I've acted like a child and/or misbehaved

Respect isn’t a liberal or conservative view

I’m fiscally conservative and socially liberal. I’m moderate on many other issues.

And I agree with you that overall in general women leading us would be much better. Although the ones in office in both American parties make me think I need to re-examine that.

 

[sammartin]

Every individual needs to be evaluated on their own merit, independent of sex or any other consideration.

 

[Sissy Meg]

Respect isn’t a liberal or conservative view

I’m fiscally conservative and socially liberal. I’m moderate on many other issues.

And I agree with you that overall in general women leading us would be much better. Although the ones in office in both American parties make me think I need to re-examine that.

I totally agree with you that respect isn't and shouldn't be attached to one political view or not as a party / political system.

However, in my current work environment, having that view (liberal/progressive) is not tolerated, they are also quite homophobic, and generally believe in the whole naked and pregnant in the kitchen thing. As a whole it also goes together in the single perspective they seem to have, and if you don't agree with all of it then you must be a "liberal, feminist, (derogatory word for) gay person".

Setting aside respect (which again I agree with you - as a whole is irrespective of political view) the current US political system does tend to favor and ensconce the idea of feminism and self determination int he liberal view point, and male dominance and female house making amoungst the conservative view point - specifically socially. I would say this view is not held by the economic spectrum (i.e. fiscal conservative or liberal is independent of this view point. Only the social liberalism and conservatism seems to follow.

My 2 cents / experience, and always experience/opinion can vary like mileage.

 

[Cincy]

This must have happened many times... you are out with a group of your male friends, you've had few drinks and the inevitable happens and the talk turns to women... if they start discussing women in a crude derogatory manner do you ever say you disagree?

Would you ever tell your friends about your female led relationship?

Do you think such talk is just boys being boys and it will never change?

My friends never talk in a crude derogatory manner about women, but if they ever did, they would have an argument from me. I don't tell my friends that I'm in a FLR, but I don't hide it either. They just think I'm pussy whipped. Which I guess I am.

 

[kickball]

This must have happened many times... you are out with a group of your male friends, you've had few drinks and the inevitable happens and the talk turns to women... if they start discussing women in a crude derogatory manner do you ever say you disagree?

Would you ever tell your friends about your female led relationship?

Do you think such talk is just boys being boys and it will never change?

Oddly enough most Men I know agree that their female partner rules the partnership and they do as they are told. The men may try to kid us there's an element of humour in their reply but we all know the Lady is the dominant partner.

 

[lockit]

This must have happened many times... you are out with a group of your male friends, you've had few drinks and the inevitable happens and the talk turns to women... if they start discussing women in a crude derogatory manner do you ever say you disagree?

Would you ever tell your friends about your female led relationship?

Do you think such talk is just boys being boys and it will never change?

I do not tell them about the FLR. I do tell them to grow up.

 

[Patticakes]

I will not call them my friends and would avoid them

 

[manintyres]

I have to put up with the idiots at work who Talk derogatory about women , I tried to change the subject etc but kept failing so now I leave the room and let them desperate man carry on with their chats

 

[Mash2214]

In a very short time you have raised a lot of heated discussion. Way to go Mistress.

When I am with collages at work and the degrading talk starts it usually ends quickly if I’m with them. I’ve made the point clear to them many times that I don’t appreciate that kind of talk. Also since I have some control over their work and pay checks they discontinue the conversation.

With my friends , which is few , there is no degrading of women or anyone like I said I don’t have many close friends.

I haven’t publicly told anyone that we follow a FLR relationship but most people can see that I have a tremendous respect for what my wife says and asks me to do. A few years ago when I was only locked part of the time I had to shower with a bunch of guys. Since my pubic area was clean shaven the question was eventually asked.” Why do you shave your nuts?” I simply answered my wife likes it that way and the benefits are well worth it. I let them fill in the blanks.

Degrading talk about other people should never happen but it still does. I just wonder what You @L-u-c-y say about men when your talking with your lady friends? Do you degrade the Alpha men or the ones that kneel to serve you or None at all?

 

[Shepherdsflock]

This must have happened many times... you are out with a group of your male friends, you've had few drinks and the inevitable happens and the talk turns to women... if they start discussing women in a crude derogatory manner do you ever say you disagree?

Would you ever tell your friends about your female led relationship?

Do you think such talk is just boys being boys and it will never change?

FLR or not, I have always hated derogatory speech about women and would not have a problem speaking up. I have done it several times.

 

[Deleted member 37493]

when we are out and the talk turns to girls and women which always do, what happens is the person who start to put down women is left to dig his own hole even deeper and after a while it is clear that he either can't get laid or it has been a long long time since he have been with a woman.
All of my male friends know that the woman rule the home and mostly what happens in the home and the sex life between any couple is mostly the female choice. And while this is not put in stone when out with the lads most men know that the females of any home make most of the decisions.
and I always thought that male chastity is only a continuation of what happens in our every day life.

 

[voltroger]

I do always disagree when friends are not talking respectfully about women. Fortunately my best friends are all very kind people and we never say bad things.

Regarding your other question, no I don't share the details of a FLR. Not everybody are willing to understand this.