Perhaps the most striking element -- at least to me -- in the comments on this site is how
positive they are. In the typical case a male has a pre-existing interest, often exclusively
fantasy-based. After some hesitation he suggests it to his partner, who (again, usually) has
never heard of it and thinks it is a bit weird, but is willing to give it a try. They do, but their
expectations are not high; in the best case (they think and say) it might be fun for a few
weeks.
But often both partners find that the returns are remarkable, far exceeding expectations, making
their relationship deeper, more intimate, and much more satisfying. Often they say explicitly
that they wish they had tried it earlier, and swear never to go back to the old days. We read
something like this story again and again.
It is hard not wonder whether couples in general -- not *all* couples of course, maybe half? one in
ten? -- might not benefit from chastity. But then you have to wonder, if the benefits are so great,
why are only a relative handful practicing it today? I mean, if some exercise or drug generated the
reports we hear from chastity users people would be lining up. Wouldn't they?
Maybe, maybe not. Chastity has several issues. One is that it is complicated and there just isn't (yet)
a therapeutic profession (that I know about) targeting these issues, which run from sizing to a huge
spectrum of relationship affects and changes. (Though there are websites, like this one, that do
provide real help.) Everybody is on their own and while many do manage, I would understand if the
landscape seems intimidating. Second, chastity is not cheap, measured by either money or time.
(People sometimes have to buy several devices to find one that fits.) And perhaps most important,
chastity relationships are inherently FLRs -- female led relationships -- and this might be a problem for
most men. Perhaps the very idea of locking up their cock and giving the key to their partner is
unthinkable. It certainly runs against the presumptions of the culture. If the current rate of usage is
(I have no good data) one couple in ten thousand, which would suggest a total national usage rate of
about 100,000 couples, maybe that is just not enough to allow enthusiasts to feel comfortable about
talking about the practice with their friends and family. I guess the fear is that they will sound or
seem less masculine. Or, in another word, weird.
So we have a face-off. On the hand we have what looks a behavior that seems like it might benefit lots
of people; on the other, a deep cultural prejudice preventing them from realizing that benefit. Are these
two forces permanently locked? Will the incidence of chastity be the same in a hundred years? Or is it
possible that the benefits will gradually, subtly, push the prejudice back?
Who knows. I personally hope that in a few years the incidence of chastity will be several times what it
is now. If anything like that happens several benefits might follow. One is that therapists, especially sex
therapists, will make it their business to recognize when patients might profit from chastity and counsel
them accordingly. There will be services that make it their business to monitor developments in the field
-- right now, if an interesting new cage appears on the market, I have no confidence I will even hear about
it. Of course users will feel much freer to talk about their experiences with family and friends. Other
cultural changes might follow. I could imagine couples making the offer of a key into a ceremony. Who
knows?
positive they are. In the typical case a male has a pre-existing interest, often exclusively
fantasy-based. After some hesitation he suggests it to his partner, who (again, usually) has
never heard of it and thinks it is a bit weird, but is willing to give it a try. They do, but their
expectations are not high; in the best case (they think and say) it might be fun for a few
weeks.
But often both partners find that the returns are remarkable, far exceeding expectations, making
their relationship deeper, more intimate, and much more satisfying. Often they say explicitly
that they wish they had tried it earlier, and swear never to go back to the old days. We read
something like this story again and again.
It is hard not wonder whether couples in general -- not *all* couples of course, maybe half? one in
ten? -- might not benefit from chastity. But then you have to wonder, if the benefits are so great,
why are only a relative handful practicing it today? I mean, if some exercise or drug generated the
reports we hear from chastity users people would be lining up. Wouldn't they?
Maybe, maybe not. Chastity has several issues. One is that it is complicated and there just isn't (yet)
a therapeutic profession (that I know about) targeting these issues, which run from sizing to a huge
spectrum of relationship affects and changes. (Though there are websites, like this one, that do
provide real help.) Everybody is on their own and while many do manage, I would understand if the
landscape seems intimidating. Second, chastity is not cheap, measured by either money or time.
(People sometimes have to buy several devices to find one that fits.) And perhaps most important,
chastity relationships are inherently FLRs -- female led relationships -- and this might be a problem for
most men. Perhaps the very idea of locking up their cock and giving the key to their partner is
unthinkable. It certainly runs against the presumptions of the culture. If the current rate of usage is
(I have no good data) one couple in ten thousand, which would suggest a total national usage rate of
about 100,000 couples, maybe that is just not enough to allow enthusiasts to feel comfortable about
talking about the practice with their friends and family. I guess the fear is that they will sound or
seem less masculine. Or, in another word, weird.
So we have a face-off. On the hand we have what looks a behavior that seems like it might benefit lots
of people; on the other, a deep cultural prejudice preventing them from realizing that benefit. Are these
two forces permanently locked? Will the incidence of chastity be the same in a hundred years? Or is it
possible that the benefits will gradually, subtly, push the prejudice back?
Who knows. I personally hope that in a few years the incidence of chastity will be several times what it
is now. If anything like that happens several benefits might follow. One is that therapists, especially sex
therapists, will make it their business to recognize when patients might profit from chastity and counsel
them accordingly. There will be services that make it their business to monitor developments in the field
-- right now, if an interesting new cage appears on the market, I have no confidence I will even hear about
it. Of course users will feel much freer to talk about their experiences with family and friends. Other
cultural changes might follow. I could imagine couples making the offer of a key into a ceremony. Who
knows?
