What is your consent model

[enslavedbyc]

Examples of consent models to assist in answering the poll:

Irrevocable Blanket Consent: you are educated as to the risk(s) you are taking and have consented fully and irrevocably to activities that to no exceed your established limits.

Vanilla Examples:

Sky diving – once you’ve left the airplay your consent cannot be revoked.

• Free Climbing – In many cases you can go up or you can go down but anchoring to the rock and waiting for rescue is not an option.

BDSM Examples:

• Self-Bondage (that rely solely on timers to achieve release).
• Corporal Punishment (where you have waived your safe word).

Revocable Blanket Consent with Consequences: you are educated as to the risk(s) you are taking and have consented fully and irrevocably to activities that to no exceed your established limits. You may revoke your consent but understand that there will be consequences of known or unknown nature.

Vanilla Examples:

• Airline travel: once the door closes you have consented to follow all the flight crews rules for the flight duration. You can demand to be let off the plane, but short of a legitimate health emergency, there will be consequences.

BDSM Examples:

• Collar or chastity device removal: my partner has made it clear that removal, will create damage (or major changes) within the relationship.

Fully Revocable blanket consent: You have give consent to all activities not exceeding your established limits but, will suffer no consequences if you revoke consent e.g. using a safeword.

Your consent must be given on an activity-by-activity basis: regardless of whether you like the activity or not and revocable without consequence.

Enthusiastic consent model: Your partner checks-in continually to assure that your consent is enthusiastically maintained throughout all chastity and / or BDSM activities.


My wife and I have a Consequential Revocable Blanket Consent agreement.

 

[Jay Sub]

I voted other - Blankets must be Enthusiastically given on a Blanket by Blanket Basis whether consensual or not, or there will be consequences!

 

[Mr_anonymous]

As previously said we only dabble in bdsm. Mainly spreader bar, thigh/wrist cuffs nothing crazy. Not sure how to vote as it's not all one category. If it's something we've done a 1000 times like a whipping and she knows I can take it. There is no safe word but two clenched fists means something is terribly wrong. In which case no consequences. If it's something new which is rare and we've found we what like mostly. There's a safeword and she tends to take it easier on me. If I just tap out and she knows I can take it though there would be consequences of some sort I'm fairly certain. Hasn't happened yet to know.

 

[Tamed again]

With my wife, she had irrevocable blanket consent with a very clear written agreement that made it clear that no other relationship was possible. It was written out slowly over time so she could be sure I knew what I was consenting to, and it became irrevocable on the day we got married when we signed a final version that stated that the agreement was the basis of our marriage, and that I was no longer allowed to discuss the rules without permission and although any changes would still need be agreed to by both of us, only she could propose changes.

The KH I'm now in discussion with wants a mixture. The overall agreement will be irrevocable, but within it, I"ll be able to opt out of things but with consequences.

 

[JaySaysYes]

We're adults and have a proper* relationship where we both make all of the big decisions together, share the work and responsibility, trust each other with our lives, and we also enjoy chastity which makes us both horny like teenagers for each other.

We don't add complications. If one of us doesn't like something we talk about it and change it. Simple as.

*By proper I mean we are not in some new fangled non-committed triad of varying genders which would break if someone used the wrong pronouns.

 

[jemima]

i just do what im told. i have not sign papers like some have.

 

[Now Alexandra]

I'd best define our model as "trust." While she pushes boundaries often, each is a small step when she does. This serves us well. If something seems off or the push is too hard, we'll talk about it after the session. She's never pushed me so hard I tapped out.

 

[Jorosniece]

With my wife, she had irrevocable blanket consent with a very clear written agreement that made it clear that no other relationship was possible. It was written out slowly over time so she could be sure I knew what I was consenting to, and it became irrevocable on the day we got married when we signed a final version that stated that the agreement was the basis of our marriage, and that I was no longer allowed to discuss the rules without permission and although any changes would still need be agreed to by both of us, only she could propose changes.

The KH I'm now in discussion with wants a mixture. The overall agreement will be irrevocable, but within it, I"ll be able to opt out of things but with consequences.

Sounds ideal but the devil has got to be in the detail and there needs to be a way she can enforce it.

When the KH is a wife this is usually not difficult.

Otherwise it needs more planning, especially if KH and wearer are not living together. A vanilla contract for something else can make an ideal umbrella.

 

[Mr_anonymous]

Sounds ideal but the devil has got to be in the detail and there needs to be a way she can enforce it.

When the KH is a wife this is usually not difficult.

Otherwise it needs more planning, especially if KH and wearer are not living together. A vanilla contract for something else can make an ideal umbrella.

No contract of this sort is legally binding or enforceable.

 

[Jorosniece]

No contract of this sort is legally binding or enforceable.

Quite so. This is why it can help to have as an umbrella something vanilla which is legally enforceable. This is how @Tamed again and his potential KH are planning things. In their case the umbrella contract will be for household duties (cleaning or whatever) monthly for a year initially. No mention of chastity whatever.

But there can also be a side letter or whatever from him to her requesting he be locked secure for the duration of the vanilla contract and/or the vanilla contract can include she holds certain items as security which just happen to include some keys or whatever, or she can just have the keys herself throughout. Various options here, but you get the drift.

If ever I become a KH again (no prospect at present) this is roughly how I will do it.

 

[Mr_anonymous]

Quite so. This is why it can help to have as an umbrella something vanilla which is legally enforceable. This is how @Tamed again and his potential KH are planning things. In their case the umbrella contract will be for household duties (cleaning or whatever) monthly for a year initially. No mention of chastity whatever.

But there can also be a side letter or whatever from him to her requesting he be locked secure for the duration of the vanilla contract and/or the vanilla contract can include she holds certain items as security which just happen to include some keys or whatever, or she can just have the keys herself throughout. Various options here, but you get the drift.

If ever I become a KH again (no prospect at present) this is roughly how I will do it.

As soon as it involves a dick in a cage anything resembling binding is out the window.

 

[Giles_English]

I voted:

Revocable Blanket Consent with Consequences​

but the consequences are on a relationship level. FLR and chastity are baked into how our relationship works.

 

[Mr_anonymous]

I voted:

but the consequences are on a relationship level. FLR and chastity are baked into how our relationship works.

Agreed if I was to end chasity there would be consequences though not legal. This is person is referring to trying to cage someone against their that they aren't involved with. Which is the claim already.

 

[Jorosniece]

Agreed if I was to end chasity there would be consequences though not legal. This is person is referring to trying to cage someone against their that they aren't involved with. Which is the claim already.

I think OP was asking generally, though from the personal viewpoint of being his being married and having a perspective somewhat different; though perfectly valid from his standpoint.

Obviously only you can speak for yourself. Ditto everyone else.

 

[Mr_anonymous]

I think OP was asking generally, though from the personal viewpoint of being his being married and having a perspective somewhat different; though perfectly valid from his standpoint.

Obviously only you can speak for yourself. Ditto everyone else.

I can speak in general and with truth you can't logistically keep someone caged who doesn't want to be. Also that any contracts regarding caging a dick are non binding.

 

[Giles_English]

I think consent gets complicated in long-lived dynamics. Relationships tend to be all or nothing.

 

[Jorosniece]

I can speak in general and with truth you can't logistically keep someone caged who doesn't want to be. Also that any contracts regarding caging a dick are non binding.

That any contracts requiring chastity are not binding is the whole point. They are not possible, so why try to make them so?

Part of the answer is that they are not intended so to be, butjust to express consent. And so they can only subsist while the consent subsists, so cannot be binding for the future.

Hence the approach of @Tamed again and his potential KH. They are looking for something as binding as possible to last a fixed term of a year, maybe more. So to do this they need something vanilla on which to base it. Their situation is unusual in that they are nor partners, nor living together, nor will be; and moreover the envisaged KH is also gay with an F partner of her own. I have not found another situation quite like that on CM though I have only recently joined. But I see no reason it cannot work if it is done properly; which will not be entirely straightforward and thus I am not entirely surprised she has not finalised the wording yet.

The context of the OP was to classify the types of consent that can exist in e.g. an FLR. The first scenario posited is irrevocable consent. What @Tamed again and his potential KH seeking is as near as possible to getting there, and I'd say it is a pretty good structure : I certainly cannot think of a better one.

 

[Mr_anonymous]

That any contracts requiring chastity are not binding is the whole point. They are not possible, so why try to make them so?

Part of the answer is that they are not intended so to be, butjust to express consent. And so they can only subsist while the consent subsists, so cannot be binding for the future.

Hence the approach of @Tamed again and his potential KH. They are looking for something as binding as possible to last a fixed term of a year, maybe more. So to do this they need something vanilla on which to base it. Their situation is unusual in that they are nor partners, nor living together, nor will be; and moreover the envisaged KH is also gay with an F partner of her own. I have not found another situation quite like that on CM though I have only recently joined. But I see no reason it cannot work if it is done properly; which will not be entirely straightforward and thus I am not entirely surprised she has not finalised the wording yet.

The context of the OP was to classify the types of consent that can exist in e.g. an FLR. The first scenario posited is irrevocable consent. What @Tamed again and his potential KH seeking is as near as possible to getting there, and I'd say it is a pretty good structure : I certainly cannot think of a better one.

They are binding only between the people involved and personally I find them silly. You can't make demands and rules in a fluid relationship.

 

[chasteandcold]

Consent can always be revoked. Some folks may live under an illusion that it can't but, it can. The tricky part is how will the revocation of consent impact the relationship?

For folks that have transitioned into the lifestyle of all this, I imagine the consequences could be great. People that dabble here and there, I imagine the consequences would not be so severe.

Lets say I consented initially to cucking (that's a hard limit for me but let's just say), and I decide to change my mind because it is just too much to handle but, the wife won't budge. In that moment I can decide to revoke consent. It may have a permanent detrimental impact to the relationship but, if pushed that far personally I wouldn't care.

 

[Mr_anonymous]

Consent can always be revoked. Some folks may live under an illusion that it can't but, it can. The tricky part is how will the revocation of consent impact the relationship?

For folks that have transitioned into the lifestyle of all this, I imagine the consequences could be great. People that dabble here and there, I imagine the consequences would not be so severe.

Lets say I consented initially to cucking (that's a hard limit for me but let's just say), and I decide to change my mind because it is just too much to handle but, the wife won't budge. In that moment I can decide to revoke consent. It may have a permanent detrimental impact to the relationship but, if pushed that far personally I wouldn't care.

Agreed, this is a lifestyle for us. If I was to demand keys back and I'm done with cage I imagine there would severe damage to our relationship. I wouldn't do that unless like you she tried to cuck me for example, which I'd never consent to. The relationship is beyond repair at that point anyway.

 

[chasteandcold]

Agreed, this is a lifestyle for us. If I was to demand keys back and I'm done with cage I imagine there would severe damage to our relationship. I wouldn't do that unless like you she tried to cuck me for example, which I'd never consent to. The relationship is beyond repair at that point anyway.

100%.
But it is all kind of a mute point right? I can't speak for you but, I know my wife wouldn't do such a thing. I mean she is my wife, we are in this together.

But if it did come to something like that, I wouldn't even need the keys. I have a toolshed and a steady hand.

 

[Mr_anonymous]

100%.
But it is all kind of a mute point right? I can't speak for you but, I know my wife wouldn't do such a thing. I mean she is my wife, we are in this together.

But if it did come to something like that, I wouldn't even need the keys. I have a toolshed and a steady hand.

My wife wouldn't either, she'd never push me past what she knows is a hard limit. Some dynamics honestly come across as abusive in that way. She knows they're against it and pushes anyway. I got a plethora of tools myself, fuck that key lol.

 

[chaste4wife]

Push my luck until I get a firm, "no." Then double check she means it.

Isn't that the standard?

 

[Vance]

We definitely practice the enthusiastic consent model on a regular basis. I have mentioned that I would like to do a weekend where we “go hardcore” and try out the irrevocable consent model but we have not had time. Ideally I want to try out at least a full day of her pushing be past my limits with no ability to resist or safeword out and see what the experience would be like.