Why are you in chasity?
- Thread starter Mr_anonymous
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We have been together for nearly four decades, and throughout have experimented with various kinks along the way, Femdom, light bondage, impact play stayed with us ( personally think it was imaginary of ertha kitt or lee meriwether, that got my blood pumping).
Originally saw chastity as an extension of that. It did take my wife/KH a bit to see the benefits of not being expected to reciprocate;
Many years I had expressed that I got off so much more experiencing her pleasure. Outside the home I am an alpha male. we are equals, in spite of the fact she’s petite ( foot shorter, approx 1/2 my weight) she likes a hairy masculine guy, and gets off on the fact that she has a physical show of that control with the cage. At home we practice CFnm where I am caged 99%of the time. She is not at all interested in cross dressing or sissifation (sp)
I know how lucky I am that she’s an open sexual adventurer, and delighted to be of service to her.
Originally saw chastity as an extension of that. It did take my wife/KH a bit to see the benefits of not being expected to reciprocate;
Many years I had expressed that I got off so much more experiencing her pleasure. Outside the home I am an alpha male. we are equals, in spite of the fact she’s petite ( foot shorter, approx 1/2 my weight) she likes a hairy masculine guy, and gets off on the fact that she has a physical show of that control with the cage. At home we practice CFnm where I am caged 99%of the time. She is not at all interested in cross dressing or sissifation (sp)
I know how lucky I am that she’s an open sexual adventurer, and delighted to be of service to her.
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Last week I (M53)started using a Cobra knock off cage. I had been travelling with work for a number of years and have got in the habit of masturbating a few times a week. This something my wife was aware of and had no issues with. Just transitioned to a new role and now I am home full time. Out of habit I still end up masturbating a couple times a week.
A few years ago out of the blue, I ended up with Peyronie's Disease, which was treated with xiaflex injections which helped the curve significantly, but after treatment, function was just never the same. I do take 20mg of Cialis to help but I have been having problems with hardness during sex after about 20 minutes. I also take 2 mood stabilizers that have been life changing for my mental health. These meds were chosen by my psychiatrist due to effectiveness and low incidents of sexual side effects.After trying out a few other things to help this issue I stumbled onto the potential benefits of chastity. Last week I ordered a Cobra knock off cage and gave it a try ( this is day 6) to help me break my masterbation habit as I believe it is contributing to my bedroom issues. The first day I put on the cage, I had talked to my therapist about this and she was supportive of trying chastity out and see where it goes.
Last night my wife and I had a discussion about wearing a chastity cage to help with my problem in the bedroom. Our schedule is 1x ever 1-2 weeks, as we both are busy working and life in general and her sex drive has not been the same after menopause. So far the cage has been comfortable for daily wear, but I have been waking at 3am to adjust due to nightly erections. Anyway I explained the reasons why I was giving this a try. I had not told her Initally as I wanted to make sure this was something I could do before involving her. Anyway her reaction was not negative, but she thinks it's strange and not necessary, as She thinks I should just be able to stop masturbating without wearing a device, but she said she would support the wearing of the cage but has no interest in being a keyholder. The idea of her being a keyholder and exoring the kink side of this does Interest me, but for now I am trying this to fix my erection issues. Hopefully eventually after realizing the benefits to our relationship I have been reading she will want to be more involved, but for now I am self locked. By the time we have sex again I will have been locked for 10 days.
If this ends up being a good option for my issues, I am looking into the Black Hera Cage from House of Denial as the locking mechanism seems more streamlined than the Kink3d Cobra cage.
A few years ago out of the blue, I ended up with Peyronie's Disease, which was treated with xiaflex injections which helped the curve significantly, but after treatment, function was just never the same. I do take 20mg of Cialis to help but I have been having problems with hardness during sex after about 20 minutes. I also take 2 mood stabilizers that have been life changing for my mental health. These meds were chosen by my psychiatrist due to effectiveness and low incidents of sexual side effects.After trying out a few other things to help this issue I stumbled onto the potential benefits of chastity. Last week I ordered a Cobra knock off cage and gave it a try ( this is day 6) to help me break my masterbation habit as I believe it is contributing to my bedroom issues. The first day I put on the cage, I had talked to my therapist about this and she was supportive of trying chastity out and see where it goes.
Last night my wife and I had a discussion about wearing a chastity cage to help with my problem in the bedroom. Our schedule is 1x ever 1-2 weeks, as we both are busy working and life in general and her sex drive has not been the same after menopause. So far the cage has been comfortable for daily wear, but I have been waking at 3am to adjust due to nightly erections. Anyway I explained the reasons why I was giving this a try. I had not told her Initally as I wanted to make sure this was something I could do before involving her. Anyway her reaction was not negative, but she thinks it's strange and not necessary, as She thinks I should just be able to stop masturbating without wearing a device, but she said she would support the wearing of the cage but has no interest in being a keyholder. The idea of her being a keyholder and exoring the kink side of this does Interest me, but for now I am trying this to fix my erection issues. Hopefully eventually after realizing the benefits to our relationship I have been reading she will want to be more involved, but for now I am self locked. By the time we have sex again I will have been locked for 10 days.
If this ends up being a good option for my issues, I am looking into the Black Hera Cage from House of Denial as the locking mechanism seems more streamlined than the Kink3d Cobra cage.
I'dl be very interested to see whether being caged helps with the bedroom issues. I've heard some people claim it makes impotence worse, and others say it makes it better. One idea I've heard is for people to use a vacuum pump every couple of nights (without masturbation or cumming) to keep everything 'working' by keeping regular blood flow and expansion.
For me it is easy. My wife is bi with a strong preference for women. She does not like PIV and I have not had any for over 35 years and never will. She is OK with kissing me and letting me pet her breast as she can close her eyes and pretend it is a woman. Yesterday I wore a negligee and she had one of her best orgasms because she said in the dark I reminded her of her ex girlfriend.
For 30 years her ex girlfriend lived with us in a poly tried. For almost 10 of those years we had regular FFM threesomes. I have PIV and anal and all the fetish play we learned about in those pre internet days. I had one on my face and another riding my penis. I watched them make love to each other. We played games where I entered one then the other and whoever I ended up coming in got to get sexual attention from me and the other woman any way she wanted.
Then I got ED and the fat covered much of my penis. It was useless even with ED and the girls became more confident in their bisexuality. Back in my day bi sexual was not recognized as a valid sexial orientation, not even by the then LGBT community. To the world my two girls were lesbians in the closet so they did all they could to prove they were not lesbians. Once bisexuality was accepted as such, they stopped having traditional sex with me and instead we did BDSM scenes almost nightly with each girl getting off on the other and if I had pleased them enough I was allowed to mastrubate as they tortured me in some way increasing the pain level more and more until I had my orgasm. I was on the honor system for 20 years and locked for 15.
So it was either chastity or leave the two women I loved and who loved me but not sexually. Loved me enough to used BDSM to allow me to orgasm but not enough for PIV or oral with them. I could not leave them because I love BDSM and they gave me more than I dreamed I would ever have.
So it worked out for all. My wife and I moved away from out girlfriend who finally married a cuckold who shared her with us for the last 5 years. As a couple we had no sex. Wife just came out and said I was so fat that she was not attracted to me plus my penis was too small and limp to be of use to anyone and most of all the big reason she gave up on PIV, I am sterile and she married me to have Kids. My sperm count is not low, just deformed for IVF was not an option and was new at the time and very expensive. Plus we were very happy with our poly triad in which each of us got what we really wanted. My wife wanted a girlfriend for sex, out gf wanted a girlfriend but also a man to sexually dominant and hurt. I wanted to be dominated by women. So we all had what we wanted and needed. Life was good.
I did lose 100 lbs. before my wife started having sex again. Thanks to COVID which caused me to lose taste for food for almost a year, I lost all that weight because food did not taste good to me and I lived on soup and crackers mostly with some cereal occasionally. However, sex was her using her vibrator while I watched or was permitted to kiss and pet her. Still is except now I am locked and can no longer jerk off while watching her orgasm.
I can tell you so far it has made a difference. After 10 days of no masturbation ( self locked) sex with the wife was good and was able to stay hard. I also used a silicone constriction ring, no too tight 3 mm smaller than my cage back ring which is 48 mm. Previous issues with hardness have also been with the use of a constriction ring. I unlock for cleaning & shaving in the shower 1-2x week then relock after. I do have a Vac pump I can use, but everything I've read is you should go in hard then pump to a decent amount of pressure 10-12 hg to expand blood vessels, so not sure that is a great idea if I'm working on curbing masturbation.
Since I talked to my wife about wearing the cage, we haven't discussed it again, and at this point she knows I'm wearing it daily, but has no interest in being the keyholder or controlling if I'm locked or unlocked. Maybe as things progress she may eventually want to accept that role, and I would be ok with that but for now this is about solving a problem, not necessarily about the link side of things. In any case I relocked the next morning after we had sex & ordered a higher quality resin cage from House of Denial.
I can tell you so far it has made a difference. After 10 days of no masturbation ( self locked) sex with the wife was good and was able to stay hard. I also used a silicone constriction ring, no too tight 3 mm smaller than my cage back ring which is 48 mm. Previous issues with hardness have also been with the use of a constriction ring. I unlock for cleaning & shaving in the shower 1-2x week then relock after. I do have a Vac pump I can use, but everything I've read is you should go in hard then pump to a decent amount of pressure 10-12 hg to expand blood vessels, so not sure that is a great idea if I'm working on curbing masturbation.
Since I talked to my wife about wearing the cage, we haven't discussed it again, and at this point she knows I'm wearing it daily, but has no interest in being the keyholder or controlling if I'm locked or unlocked. Maybe as things progress she may eventually want to accept that role, and I would be ok with that but for now this is about solving a problem, not necessarily about the link side of things. In any case I relocked the next morning after we had sex & ordered a higher quality resin cage from House of Denial.
D
Deleted member 124660
I am in chastity becsuse my wife suggested it and she loved the idea of controlling me so much she showed me how wet she was so i decided to try it and have been enjoying it ever since
My wife loves the control and security of it as I am going to get tatted owned above it this weekend. She is my queen. I serve her and only her unless told otherwise but in our marriage I am the male the husband. She needs my compassion and loving and snuggling. But she controls my cock and when we make love or if she just needs a release she washes me takes care of me and teases me a lot. We have been 5 years going strong she is an amazing wife owner.
So to only have handsfree orgasms, and remind me they are getting removed soon
I voluntarily chose to be in chastity due to excessive masturbation and a desire for self-improvement. I had already been in a non-sexual D/s relationship as a boy under the control and discipline of the Governess.
At first I decided not to tell her about the chastity and to try self-locking with a time lock, due to fears of not being able to comply with the chastity, knowing that I would suffer the consequences at her hands.
After some time in self-locking and getting used to it, I became certain that I wanted to be in chastity and decided to tell her about my desire to be voluntarily locked up and give her the keys, despite fears that I would be misunderstood and would not agree to hold the keys.
However, she took it very well and for over a month now I have been locked in chastity, according to the rules we established and under her control.
At first I decided not to tell her about the chastity and to try self-locking with a time lock, due to fears of not being able to comply with the chastity, knowing that I would suffer the consequences at her hands.
After some time in self-locking and getting used to it, I became certain that I wanted to be in chastity and decided to tell her about my desire to be voluntarily locked up and give her the keys, despite fears that I would be misunderstood and would not agree to hold the keys.
However, she took it very well and for over a month now I have been locked in chastity, according to the rules we established and under her control.
Dabbled with a cheap belt a couple years ago and the odd cage since, tried plastic ones and were terrible, last 6 months really liked the metal cages and fancied trying loctober so doing that currently with a cage that grits well, wife holds the key and refuses to let me out for this period due to our agreement, she is enjoying it and due to being a porn addict I’ve got more attention on her than myself for a change and she is lovely the foot rubs, massages, kisses and generally being a nicer person, No idea what’s ahead after this month.
Because all men should be? j/k.
Actually, I wish I knew. It's not for any of those "standard reasons": I jack off too much (I do), I need to be a better man (I do), I am a worthless sub (I'm not), etc. I have always deferred to women, ever since I was young, meaning that I always did what I thought would make them happy, regardless of my own wants or desires. That laid the ground work, I think.
When I saw my first chastity cage online I was fascinated. It was a CB2000. I bought one and tried it but the fit was so bad, that I gave it up for years, but I could never get that feeling out of my mind. Sometime later I saw a newer crop of cages and took a chance. When I found one I liked (after 5-6 tries) I knew I had found my calling.
Bottom line, it just feels right for me to be caged and have someone else control when the penis comes out to play. The feeling of wearing it, the constant state of arousal, the anticipation of "maybe" getting out, and the absolute joy of being released and getting that free, rock hard erection is unmatched.
I rarely get to cum (2-3 times a year), and I am always locked back up right away after being released, but that just serves to keep the pedal to the metal as far as my frustration goes.
There are times I wish this wasn't the case. That it would be much better to be free all the time, getting regular blow jobs, and coming on a daily basis. But every time the cage is off, it's not long before I start wanting it back on, and the cycle continues.
Actually, I wish I knew. It's not for any of those "standard reasons": I jack off too much (I do), I need to be a better man (I do), I am a worthless sub (I'm not), etc. I have always deferred to women, ever since I was young, meaning that I always did what I thought would make them happy, regardless of my own wants or desires. That laid the ground work, I think.
When I saw my first chastity cage online I was fascinated. It was a CB2000. I bought one and tried it but the fit was so bad, that I gave it up for years, but I could never get that feeling out of my mind. Sometime later I saw a newer crop of cages and took a chance. When I found one I liked (after 5-6 tries) I knew I had found my calling.
Bottom line, it just feels right for me to be caged and have someone else control when the penis comes out to play. The feeling of wearing it, the constant state of arousal, the anticipation of "maybe" getting out, and the absolute joy of being released and getting that free, rock hard erection is unmatched.
I rarely get to cum (2-3 times a year), and I am always locked back up right away after being released, but that just serves to keep the pedal to the metal as far as my frustration goes.
There are times I wish this wasn't the case. That it would be much better to be free all the time, getting regular blow jobs, and coming on a daily basis. But every time the cage is off, it's not long before I start wanting it back on, and the cycle continues.
In May of 2021 my wife and I got covid. A couple of weeks later we were both feeling better and while laying in bed one night I said that I thought it was time we rebooted our sex life. To my surprise my wife said she wanted to feel better about our emotional connection before she wanted to make love again. I was already doing everything I could to be open with her. So being a spritual person I began praying every day on how to become better emotionally connected. On the 3rd day when I awoke I have a very prominent thought: “Kept for her”. I dismissed the thought and went on with my day. The next day the same thing happened. On the 3rd day I stopped and asked myself the question: Is God answering my prayer? I remembered a site I had visited by the same name (now defunct): keptforher.com. It was a very tame and basic website about male chastity. I started googling and reading about it and found the happy marriage site. I finally decided that God wanted me to offer myself to her in that way to help with our emotional connection. She was in the other room at the time so I figured a text would be an easier way to bring up the topic. So I said the I felt that God was wanting me to offer my chastity to her and sent her a link to a couple of articles. A little later she came into the bedroom where I was and we had a discussion about this. She said she was “intrigued”. She wanted to try for 6 months and asked me to pick out a cage. I immediately stopped masturbating and my hormones went nuts. I was constantly talking to her and she loved that. One day she said “Do you realize how different you are?”. And that’s how we got started.
I'm chaste because I want my sexuality to be a blessing for my wife. She told me just a few days ago that my penis has pissed her off. I was demanding sex for the most of our first 15 years of marriage. Without a cage I masturbate several times a day, thinking lustful thoughts about many women, (I believe the God I love sees these thoughts) this masturbation would leave me with very little motivation to romance my wife. Now I'm horny all the time, and very interested in pursuing my wife with romance. I feel like a real man as I force my body to deal with itself rather than letting it use my wife for sex.
It took my over ten years to finally get a caging system that works 24/7/365. I wish I had caged up shortly after my wedding! If wish's were horses we would all take a ride.
It took my over ten years to finally get a caging system that works 24/7/365. I wish I had caged up shortly after my wedding! If wish's were horses we would all take a ride.
Because I’m not currently in another form of bondage, that compels me back in not my Chastity device when she’s done playing with me.
In my case it all started out of curiosity, like a game, locking myself in a chastity cage, provoking myself without being able to penetrate her, giving her only oral pleasure. As the days went by, feeling the sensation of being dominated by a woman and her having sexual control over me was increasingly exciting to the point that I was the one who asked my wife to keep me in permanent chastity.
I first got one years ago just for fun having had a seven gates of hell thinking it might be one up on that. But about 5 years ago I realised that my wife was never going to wank intimate contact of any kind again and I began serarching for ways to fullfill myself sexually or at leasst cope with being chaste. I found a few site advocating chastity and while I don't wear one all the tiim do wear it at least for a few hours daily either just to have it on or as a part of a lock set by my keyholder. I also use E stim a lot for sexual pleasure and being caged increases the effect significantly. It is now one of the few ways I can cum. So I am locked now but will release soon and go to bed. It simply feels good and I like it.
We initially did it as a FLR activity but then discovered something special, the feelings of love, devotion, dedication that I had for my beautiful Wife were all amplified to a level I never knew possible. The pleasure I get from pleasing my Wife far outweighs the pleasure I used to get when I was a selfish man, forever on the hunt for the next orgasm, masturbating at every opportunity. Now, to be between her legs, hearing her cry out as my tongue and fingers bring her to orgasm as my caged cock leaks pre cum for her is the best feeling in the world. Long term chastity (17 years) has been a complete game changer for us. The sissy, cross dressing element has never been something we would consider, I’m still a man and my Wife likes it that way but I’m her man, to do her bidding, treat her like a Queen and there solely for her pleasure. When my Wife cuckolds me, it’s a gift that I accept knowing she will return to me happy, fulfilled and grateful for the life she has with me. Her happiness is my happiness, I consider myself very lucky to have her in my life and long may it continue 
I,m caged most of the time, no PIV and no wanking on my own allowed, but i am allowed to use my vacum pump to pump up my cock occasionally, she always supervises this and she actually pumps me up to the top of the cylinder (8") then she releases my hard cock and gives me a few strokes of a handjob, and then stops, i have to wait till i'm small enough to go back in my cage then she locks it shut, there is never any cumming when she does this, its a tease and very frustrating but i get the feeling of a hard cock even though i know its useless.
It is an important part of my sexuality, perhaps the most important. There are several reasons for this, first of all as a submissive and sissy wearing chastity reminds me of who I am and gives me the opportunity to love and be happy with who I am.
It also allows me to focus on the parts of my body that I really enjoy, to hear them, and to be listened to, rather than spending unnecessary attention on a part of my body that I don't use sexually and don't want to use, and on top of that it leads to unexpectedly great sex.
Recently, I've had some great sex with a few people who have noticed that I'm wearing chastity without having to say much more, and a couple of them have already become my regular sex partners.
Also, my orgasms after chastity became a regular part of my life are incomparable to classic male orgasms. Orgasms while in chastity are amazing and so much better than the other way around.
And I really don't understand those who think that wearing chastity is a weakness or a deficiency, I even laugh a little at them, because wearing chastity is not a deficiency or a weakness, on the contrary, it is a very good way to know what you want, to know your body and to enjoy your sexuality with every fiber of your being.
It also allows me to focus on the parts of my body that I really enjoy, to hear them, and to be listened to, rather than spending unnecessary attention on a part of my body that I don't use sexually and don't want to use, and on top of that it leads to unexpectedly great sex.
Recently, I've had some great sex with a few people who have noticed that I'm wearing chastity without having to say much more, and a couple of them have already become my regular sex partners.
Also, my orgasms after chastity became a regular part of my life are incomparable to classic male orgasms. Orgasms while in chastity are amazing and so much better than the other way around.
And I really don't understand those who think that wearing chastity is a weakness or a deficiency, I even laugh a little at them, because wearing chastity is not a deficiency or a weakness, on the contrary, it is a very good way to know what you want, to know your body and to enjoy your sexuality with every fiber of your being.
I'm in chastity for one major reason and one minor reason:
- Major - I can't resist masturbating; I can only go so long before I give into the urge; I want to give my sexuality and sexual energy for my wife; chastity helps me do that.
- Minor - weight maintenance; if I gain weight, no releases.