Why are you in chasity?
- Thread starter Mr_anonymous
- Start date
We have been together for nearly four decades, and throughout have experimented with various kinks along the way, Femdom, light bondage, impact play stayed with us ( personally think it was imaginary of ertha kitt or lee meriwether, that got my blood pumping).
Originally saw chastity as an extension of that. It did take my wife/KH a bit to see the benefits of not being expected to reciprocate;
Many years I had expressed that I got off so much more experiencing her pleasure. Outside the home I am an alpha male. we are equals, in spite of the fact she’s petite ( foot shorter, approx 1/2 my weight) she likes a hairy masculine guy, and gets off on the fact that she has a physical show of that control with the cage. At home we practice CFnm where I am caged 99%of the time. She is not at all interested in cross dressing or sissifation (sp)
I know how lucky I am that she’s an open sexual adventurer, and delighted to be of service to her.
Originally saw chastity as an extension of that. It did take my wife/KH a bit to see the benefits of not being expected to reciprocate;
Many years I had expressed that I got off so much more experiencing her pleasure. Outside the home I am an alpha male. we are equals, in spite of the fact she’s petite ( foot shorter, approx 1/2 my weight) she likes a hairy masculine guy, and gets off on the fact that she has a physical show of that control with the cage. At home we practice CFnm where I am caged 99%of the time. She is not at all interested in cross dressing or sissifation (sp)
I know how lucky I am that she’s an open sexual adventurer, and delighted to be of service to her.
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Last week I (M53)started using a Cobra knock off cage. I had been travelling with work for a number of years and have got in the habit of masturbating a few times a week. This something my wife was aware of and had no issues with. Just transitioned to a new role and now I am home full time. Out of habit I still end up masturbating a couple times a week.
A few years ago out of the blue, I ended up with Peyronie's Disease, which was treated with xiaflex injections which helped the curve significantly, but after treatment, function was just never the same. I do take 20mg of Cialis to help but I have been having problems with hardness during sex after about 20 minutes. I also take 2 mood stabilizers that have been life changing for my mental health. These meds were chosen by my psychiatrist due to effectiveness and low incidents of sexual side effects.After trying out a few other things to help this issue I stumbled onto the potential benefits of chastity. Last week I ordered a Cobra knock off cage and gave it a try ( this is day 6) to help me break my masterbation habit as I believe it is contributing to my bedroom issues. The first day I put on the cage, I had talked to my therapist about this and she was supportive of trying chastity out and see where it goes.
Last night my wife and I had a discussion about wearing a chastity cage to help with my problem in the bedroom. Our schedule is 1x ever 1-2 weeks, as we both are busy working and life in general and her sex drive has not been the same after menopause. So far the cage has been comfortable for daily wear, but I have been waking at 3am to adjust due to nightly erections. Anyway I explained the reasons why I was giving this a try. I had not told her Initally as I wanted to make sure this was something I could do before involving her. Anyway her reaction was not negative, but she thinks it's strange and not necessary, as She thinks I should just be able to stop masturbating without wearing a device, but she said she would support the wearing of the cage but has no interest in being a keyholder. The idea of her being a keyholder and exoring the kink side of this does Interest me, but for now I am trying this to fix my erection issues. Hopefully eventually after realizing the benefits to our relationship I have been reading she will want to be more involved, but for now I am self locked. By the time we have sex again I will have been locked for 10 days.
If this ends up being a good option for my issues, I am looking into the Black Hera Cage from House of Denial as the locking mechanism seems more streamlined than the Kink3d Cobra cage.
A few years ago out of the blue, I ended up with Peyronie's Disease, which was treated with xiaflex injections which helped the curve significantly, but after treatment, function was just never the same. I do take 20mg of Cialis to help but I have been having problems with hardness during sex after about 20 minutes. I also take 2 mood stabilizers that have been life changing for my mental health. These meds were chosen by my psychiatrist due to effectiveness and low incidents of sexual side effects.After trying out a few other things to help this issue I stumbled onto the potential benefits of chastity. Last week I ordered a Cobra knock off cage and gave it a try ( this is day 6) to help me break my masterbation habit as I believe it is contributing to my bedroom issues. The first day I put on the cage, I had talked to my therapist about this and she was supportive of trying chastity out and see where it goes.
Last night my wife and I had a discussion about wearing a chastity cage to help with my problem in the bedroom. Our schedule is 1x ever 1-2 weeks, as we both are busy working and life in general and her sex drive has not been the same after menopause. So far the cage has been comfortable for daily wear, but I have been waking at 3am to adjust due to nightly erections. Anyway I explained the reasons why I was giving this a try. I had not told her Initally as I wanted to make sure this was something I could do before involving her. Anyway her reaction was not negative, but she thinks it's strange and not necessary, as She thinks I should just be able to stop masturbating without wearing a device, but she said she would support the wearing of the cage but has no interest in being a keyholder. The idea of her being a keyholder and exoring the kink side of this does Interest me, but for now I am trying this to fix my erection issues. Hopefully eventually after realizing the benefits to our relationship I have been reading she will want to be more involved, but for now I am self locked. By the time we have sex again I will have been locked for 10 days.
If this ends up being a good option for my issues, I am looking into the Black Hera Cage from House of Denial as the locking mechanism seems more streamlined than the Kink3d Cobra cage.
I'dl be very interested to see whether being caged helps with the bedroom issues. I've heard some people claim it makes impotence worse, and others say it makes it better. One idea I've heard is for people to use a vacuum pump every couple of nights (without masturbation or cumming) to keep everything 'working' by keeping regular blood flow and expansion.
For me it is easy. My wife is bi with a strong preference for women. She does not like PIV and I have not had any for over 35 years and never will. She is OK with kissing me and letting me pet her breast as she can close her eyes and pretend it is a woman. Yesterday I wore a negligee and she had one of her best orgasms because she said in the dark I reminded her of her ex girlfriend.
For 30 years her ex girlfriend lived with us in a poly tried. For almost 10 of those years we had regular FFM threesomes. I have PIV and anal and all the fetish play we learned about in those pre internet days. I had one on my face and another riding my penis. I watched them make love to each other. We played games where I entered one then the other and whoever I ended up coming in got to get sexual attention from me and the other woman any way she wanted.
Then I got ED and the fat covered much of my penis. It was useless even with ED and the girls became more confident in their bisexuality. Back in my day bi sexual was not recognized as a valid sexial orientation, not even by the then LGBT community. To the world my two girls were lesbians in the closet so they did all they could to prove they were not lesbians. Once bisexuality was accepted as such, they stopped having traditional sex with me and instead we did BDSM scenes almost nightly with each girl getting off on the other and if I had pleased them enough I was allowed to mastrubate as they tortured me in some way increasing the pain level more and more until I had my orgasm. I was on the honor system for 20 years and locked for 15.
So it was either chastity or leave the two women I loved and who loved me but not sexually. Loved me enough to used BDSM to allow me to orgasm but not enough for PIV or oral with them. I could not leave them because I love BDSM and they gave me more than I dreamed I would ever have.
So it worked out for all. My wife and I moved away from out girlfriend who finally married a cuckold who shared her with us for the last 5 years. As a couple we had no sex. Wife just came out and said I was so fat that she was not attracted to me plus my penis was too small and limp to be of use to anyone and most of all the big reason she gave up on PIV, I am sterile and she married me to have Kids. My sperm count is not low, just deformed for IVF was not an option and was new at the time and very expensive. Plus we were very happy with our poly triad in which each of us got what we really wanted. My wife wanted a girlfriend for sex, out gf wanted a girlfriend but also a man to sexually dominant and hurt. I wanted to be dominated by women. So we all had what we wanted and needed. Life was good.
I did lose 100 lbs. before my wife started having sex again. Thanks to COVID which caused me to lose taste for food for almost a year, I lost all that weight because food did not taste good to me and I lived on soup and crackers mostly with some cereal occasionally. However, sex was her using her vibrator while I watched or was permitted to kiss and pet her. Still is except now I am locked and can no longer jerk off while watching her orgasm.
I can tell you so far it has made a difference. After 10 days of no masturbation ( self locked) sex with the wife was good and was able to stay hard. I also used a silicone constriction ring, no too tight 3 mm smaller than my cage back ring which is 48 mm. Previous issues with hardness have also been with the use of a constriction ring. I unlock for cleaning & shaving in the shower 1-2x week then relock after. I do have a Vac pump I can use, but everything I've read is you should go in hard then pump to a decent amount of pressure 10-12 hg to expand blood vessels, so not sure that is a great idea if I'm working on curbing masturbation.
Since I talked to my wife about wearing the cage, we haven't discussed it again, and at this point she knows I'm wearing it daily, but has no interest in being the keyholder or controlling if I'm locked or unlocked. Maybe as things progress she may eventually want to accept that role, and I would be ok with that but for now this is about solving a problem, not necessarily about the link side of things. In any case I relocked the next morning after we had sex & ordered a higher quality resin cage from House of Denial.
I can tell you so far it has made a difference. After 10 days of no masturbation ( self locked) sex with the wife was good and was able to stay hard. I also used a silicone constriction ring, no too tight 3 mm smaller than my cage back ring which is 48 mm. Previous issues with hardness have also been with the use of a constriction ring. I unlock for cleaning & shaving in the shower 1-2x week then relock after. I do have a Vac pump I can use, but everything I've read is you should go in hard then pump to a decent amount of pressure 10-12 hg to expand blood vessels, so not sure that is a great idea if I'm working on curbing masturbation.
Since I talked to my wife about wearing the cage, we haven't discussed it again, and at this point she knows I'm wearing it daily, but has no interest in being the keyholder or controlling if I'm locked or unlocked. Maybe as things progress she may eventually want to accept that role, and I would be ok with that but for now this is about solving a problem, not necessarily about the link side of things. In any case I relocked the next morning after we had sex & ordered a higher quality resin cage from House of Denial.
I am in chastity becsuse my wife suggested it and she loved the idea of controlling me so much she showed me how wet she was so i decided to try it and have been enjoying it ever since
My wife loves the control and security of it as I am going to get tatted owned above it this weekend. She is my queen. I serve her and only her unless told otherwise but in our marriage I am the male the husband. She needs my compassion and loving and snuggling. But she controls my cock and when we make love or if she just needs a release she washes me takes care of me and teases me a lot. We have been 5 years going strong she is an amazing wife owner.
So to only have handsfree orgasms, and remind me they are getting removed soon
