Hello everyone My girlfriend and I have been experimenting with chastity now for about three months. As she works evenings and I work days, we only see each other on the weekends and she feels this is a good way to prevent me from masturbating during the week (yes, left unattended I will). After trying several devices, we've settled on a MM JailBird. For a while, I would be crazy during the week, couldn't wait until the weekend and felt very ready for release!!! She was very happy with the arrangement. As we continued, I seem to be getting more used to the weekday chastity, such that on Friday night, while I am steady ready for sex, I am not feeling that overwhelming need for release. Curious as to whether others have had similar experiences and/or routines. I would be ok with her extending the chastity duration on occasion, or add other T/D options, just to keep me on my toes, but she wants intercourse on the weekends so that doesn't seem to be in the cards.
A lot of people report a "settling in" like you describe. I am a bit older but I agree that I am not frantic for an orgasm when released after a week. I think it is just a question of getting used to it.
When my wife and I started this in September 2014 neither of us could imagine no orgasm for me for more than a few days. Now, I've been locked since December 28th which was my last full O, I've been unlocked a couple times for teasing, edging and beating, but no O. At this point I'd really like to be given an orgasm, but whatever. If I do I do, if not, oh well.
So don't cum!!! Still have sex, still give her what she needs, but when she is satisfied get locked back up.
As Mistress Watchful has said don't cum! This can be achieved in several ways numbing cream condoms and or a penis/ball sleeve she'll still get all the pleasure she wants but it's less likely your ejaculate. She can ensure you get her good and ready before penetration, so she'll be ready to climax in short ordered with practice your'll never ejaculate and your then locked back up asap. The other way I've been used is to have a lead attached to my balls I always had to tell my mistress if I was close and ask permission to ejaculate, at this point she would tug or pull the lead took some practice but she could control me for quite a while. Another is timed penetration or limited strokes, or the old wives tale the "biscuit tin" basically mistress is on a table or high chair etc you're on a small stool, platform or "tin" at the point your ejaculating she kicks the "tin" you drop out of her and get a ruined orgasm! I'm sure there are others as always Mistress Watchful is right don't cum!
I am happy to say that so far this has worked great this weekend. We have had amazing sex, but no orgasm for me. We started the weekend with the sleeve, but since have just forced self-control and I have to tell her before I get close then she edges me. She is enjoying keeping me on edge, and the anticipation. Her suggestion for my orgasm has shifted from Sunday morning, to Sunday night, and now planning to make me wait until next weekend! Thanks for your feedback and advice!!
I have sex with my wife nearly every day, sometimes more than once, and am expected not to orgasm during those sessions. Over time, atleast for myself, the energy I would have put into trying to cum gets focused on her orgasm nearly 100%...to the point that after months her orgasm is nearly as intense for me as one myself. Would I on a base/hind brain view like to cum? Absolutely, but my commitment to being hard and ready for her every day/with a moments notice and the joy I get out of her 'shared' orgasm is so satisfying that I sublimate my need to hers completely. The edging is so intense after awhile that the mere stroke of her nails along the head of my cock or along my ass and balls sends me over the moon and in many ways exceeds a 'mere' orgasm. Have fun with it in the end. There is no one size fits all, and enjoy that you two can play as a couple and enjoy a special experience!
@chairandstone thanks so much for that!! That has been my feeling this weekend and I hope it can continue!!
Unexpected turn... after last weekend she told me I would have to wait until this coming weekend and I had to meet my weight loss goal for the week to be released. We agreed the target and this week I've been working out, although it is a bit uncomfortable in the device. So tonight I asked to remove it temporarily for my workout, and promised to put it back on immediately after... and she said no! She has never declined a request before! It seems that she is starting to take this more seriously - maybe she enjoyed last weekend more than I realized.
Released this weekend, and had a tremendous orgasm last night!!! She said she is starting to enjoy the discipline part of our play, and I suspect that this experience will be repeated!!!
When Mistress is ready for me to "visit" she tells me to go "properly dress her cock" which means putting on a cock sheath. That way she can enjoy all the pleasure without me feeling anything or being able to cum.
Latest progress - I have been instructed to bring the sleeve with me this weekend, and I have been told that intercourse (if allowed) will NOT be accompanied by an orgasm for me. Another step down the road...
To me this is one of the potential downsides of longer term locking up. It can become a competition the men engage in, almost with themselves. This can mean they can forget to bear in mind what their wives or girlfriends want sexually. As ever with these things for long term healthy relationships, both people should be getting as many of their wants and needs met as possible.Once that stops happening, the relationship can lose its vitality.
About 90% of the time I have had sex with women I have not had an orgasm. It's just extra difficult for me. But it is ok - in a perfect world I would be on edge all the time, because that's the best feeling for me. I concentrate on her orgasm first, and I do get quite a bit of satisfaction from her orgasm.
I think we are finding the happy middle! We are both really enjoying the new dimension chastity has brought to our sex life!!!