Question for those in long term chastity.

Thank you Miss Amanda,

Great question... And thank you for the opportunity to share. I have to it has changed me 100% for the better. I used to focus way way too much on my physical pleasure and played with myself way too much.
And spent too much time thinking about 'sex' ....

Today marks my 6th week with even being let out of my cage for any reason and many months since I have been allowed to touch my incaged clitty... I would have thought I'd being going NUTS! But instead I am so much calmer and focused on the many other joins in life cooking gardening and #1 pleasing my Queen! I am more at peace!
It is wonderful !

 

Here is my perspective/experience...

By about day 30 my QK has become just a part of me. Don't notice it normally and the few changes towards hygiene required with it have become second nature.

By day 30 also my desire has reached a good peak. My KH commented that around this time I tend to be more forceful in ensuring her pleasure. Drive for more intimacy definitely increases.

During the first 60 days a slight change definitely occurs in general attitude towards my KH. More physical contact (hand holding in public, etc...) and a bit more willing to be open to other opinions.

By the 100 day mark those changes tend to have leveled out. The drive for release has diminished and the sexual intimacy between me and my KH has settled into a pretty good routine (still more of it then when unlocked).

Day 120 has usually come with a relapse in my attitude. Sort of the "hitting the wall" point, where it loses some of the glow. A good conversation and a tease session focused on me tends to get us over that.

Day 150 has been the end each time for a lockup so far.

I don't see these great changes some talk about. Not saying it does not happen, just not for me. My masculine side stays very strong and forward during a chastity period, I maintain a tight control on nearly everything for my family and with my wife/KH and my sex life too. I just forego orgasms in exchange for some hefty times in bondage and seeing her get to be satisfied.

 

For me, I'm two different people. When chaste, calm, thoughtful, patient. When not, I'm short tempered, easily aggravated, and frankly even I don't want to be around me.

 

I echo @janders6 . Its hard for me to let go of my manly side no matter how long it seems. I do tend to be more chivalrous and kind when chaste and obvioulsy ready and waiting for her when she needs me.

 

I would say at this point I am more comfortable being in chastity. My longest lock up was 100 days and I didn't really want to be out by then. Minimum lock up is usually a month but I never know. I would say that I am still me, just a calmer better me. I am not as easily irritated by the normal everyday annoyances.

After 100 days I was hyper aware of my wife's presence it seemed. I felt like it was a real accomplishment and something I could feel very proud of, we both did. We look forward to pushing it further now that my device fits perfectly!

 

It took about 2 weeks for me to stop thinking that everybody around me must know what I was wearing under my jeans. I'm sure if you had run into me during that time, I probably would have come across as anxious.

After about 3 weeks I began to stop letting my thoughts be dominated by orgasm. I still have horny thoughts from time to time, but they are now more of an exception rather than the rule. I never realized how much time/energy I had tied up in my horny thoughts.

Now, after about 6 weeks, I've noticed that It's much easier (from a willpower perspective) to avoid erotic thoughts while the cage is off for cleaning.

It may be too soon to tell what impact this will have on my life overall, but I certainly feel more focused at work. The emasculating feeling of being unable to have an erection is certainly helping me feel more feminine .

 

Ms Amanda,

This slave has found that Mistress Sonia's imposed permanent chastity as greatly changed it greatly for the better. Publicly, professionally and privately with family and friends chastity has made it much more respectful, understanding and generous. Especially when it is interacting with Females. it now see's life's beautiful big picture and is no longer focused entirely on its selfish ambitions, needs and desires. Everything is more beautiful and cherished.

Mistress Sonia has not expressed to Her slave that She has any negative comments or experiences regarding long term / permanent male chastity.

Thank You Ma'am, Ms Amanda.

 

The effects my long term chastity are comingled with meds to drop my testosterone, so I'm not sure which it, but I do know that the major difference is that I no longer have constant sexual thoughts about every woman I see. Although I never out on them, I felt filthy because I would see an attractive woman and my mind would instantly think of very vivid images of sex with her. It was very distracting and disrespectful to the women and my wife. The combo of meds and chastity has allowed me to focus better and direct all my efforts towards Ma'am.

 

It sounds good, but then I thought "now who would be Progressive enough?"
And then I thought about Flo as a keyholder
Gives a whole new twist to the "Name your price tool"
Apologies to those who don't see US TV, and may not have a clue what I'm talking about

 

i feels much happier and don't get depress like i use to and its all cos of liking what i do and being a useful maid to my Mistress. and the pretty clothes are nice to have as well.

 

My wife says I'm easier in the mornings when I'm chaste and easier to get along with. As for long term, we or I can't say anything yet, because we haven't gone further then 3 weeks yet. I do feel horny after 2 weeks and it messes with my mind as She is constantly in it ;-)
Isn't that the point of the chaste game ;-) As I read here, we are still in the early stages of chastity .

 

I asked all these questions to my KH wife, because I think she is the right person to answer!
Here's what she has to say
• Chastity has changed my hubby inside out, in totality
• He is now a far better husband, lover, companion and a 24x7 helping hand
• I wish I had known about chastity and had locked him up many years ago!
• His cage will stay locked on him till his last breath
• I now experience the "true woman power"
• I wish every woman should be gifted a cage for her husband in her marriage, and this world will be far better
I am flabbergasted!

 

Hello All.
Well, in "everyday life", I would say I find myself noticibly more respectful, deferent toward, and in general eager to gain favor of women that cross paths with me...I think I tend to be more gentlemanly and I never hesitate to proudly interject the phrases "my wife has me very well trained" or that "I am just my wife's subservient arm dressing and that if you need answers see her because she wears the pants" into casual conversation when discussion veers toward relationship dynamics between the sexes. She pays the bills at restaurants and I never hesitate to hold her purse when she needs a free hand. There is just something sexy about your woman matter-of-factly being in charge in a public setting as you stand or sit at the ready in a supporting role secretly wearing hosiery, sexy undies and a chastity device under your tradional male attire (not always but on occasion). I am still the same in general with guys but at the same time do not hesitate to interject that letting go and letting your spouse or GF "run the show" in any realm they desire is the best way to approach the dynamics of a successful relationship. Generally, I am still "just a man" into sports, cold beer, wings, cool cars and the likeand enjoy the shortcomings of being one AND being smitten by and beholden to the fairer sex.

allaboutHer

 

I can't say I'm in long term compared to some of the other guys here but I've now been locked up for about 7 weeks, I am allowed release once a week to clean but not to cum, I have cum 4 times though since being locked up. Anyways back to the question, have I changed absolutely yes in so many ways all positive I think:

1. At work I am a lot more diligent about what I say, especially to the female staff and also to the male staff who are a bit more manly or laddish than me.
2. During the day although I forget it's on when I'm busy working, when I go to the bathroom I now always sit down and take time to make sure I'm clean and the bathroom is as well before I leave.
3. Ive started taking baths at home after work, I never took the time before, normally because I was always masturbating when I had a spare minute now I enjoy things like baths and even running
4. On the running I've lost weight and toned up and I take a morning Pilates class, before I used to wait for my girlfriend to leave and then spend the next 30 mins watching porn and masturbating, I know dont watch porn and instead am getting healthy
5. Around the house I always clean up after myself and for both of us after dinner, I rarely did this ever before
6. I take more pride in how I look and dress
7. I'm less inclined after the first 4 weeks to want to cum, sometimes when we have had intercourse if she has got sore during and wants to stop I give her oral or finger her gently whilst she uses a vibrator, she gives me permission to masturbate but I decline I don't need to cum so badly anymore I am happy just to be released and be inside her for as long as I can. I think also when I cum sometimes I get really sad so I'd rather just not.
8. When out with friends I used to be quite mean in my chat not to be mean just teasing, but I don't do this anymore
9. When she has girlfriends round the house, I join in their conversations and help with snacks drinks, as opposed to previously just ignoring them and playing Xbox.
10. Basically I am a better man, boyfriend, worker, human being...

Honestly chastity is the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me, it's made me better, I was addicted to masturbation and porn and have been for a very very long time probably since 13...it's amazing what you can and who you can be when you put your dick and cumming to one side

Sorry maybe I rambled too much.

 

It's been about 8 months now - I am let out to clean once a week and Ms. B likes to have me cum for her but it's usually every two weeks or so.


At first I was really into the emasculating thing - giving up power etc. Over time, however, that has waned. It's been replaced by a new sense of my own masculine power but in service to the feminine - this includes my Key Holder, Ms. M, but it also extends to all women and the feminine in general. I've come to realize that masculine power in service to itself is empty at best and destructive at worst. When I use my power for my own pleasure I am left feeling empty, frustrated and depressed. When I use my power in service I am full, happy - I have a sense of meaning and energy.

I was reading a discussion about male submission and masculinity and there were a few posts by ex-military men who said things "I am an ex marine, not at all what you would think of when you think of a submissive man..." and they were right. However, when I really thought about this I realized that this is actually best example of my idea of male submission. Joining the military has to be THE MOST submissive thing you could do. You are literally signing away your life to serve. In fact, traditionally you serve "the Motherland". Of course this is also the best example of the worst use of submission and masculine power. If the military starts to serve itself and not the people who they have sworn to protect then it becomes horrifically destructive.

Anyway, your question got me thinking, Ms. Amanda. Thank you.

So, yes, chastity has changed me and for the better. In fact I feel more myself than I have in a long, long time.

 

I have not cm now for 4 months and from some who used to ejaculate every day basically it has been a huge change and all for the good .I constantly want to pleasure my wife which she loves I love making her cum I am a far better person and our marriage of over 20 years has taken a new lease on life ...who would have thought lol
Now on the odd time I am out I feel to guilty to pleasure myself almost like disappointing my wife or cheating on her ..didn't expect to feel like that
Love been locked up now an feel odd not
Great choice we made happy husband and very happy wife

 

I want to bee more feminine as I seem to be more in touch with that side of me now

 

I hear you. I don't think the two are mutually exclusive. I think it's really about misunderstanding what masculine power is. I'm not talking about "manly" or what some call "real men".

 

I wonder if the consistency of the feelings is due to the only people who have posted are just of the same opinion . Thus agreeing with each other or it would be true of almost all in chastity not just those who have posted.
. Xx Wendy

 

What do you mean, Wendy?

 

Sorry if I did not explain myself clearly.

Every body who has posted has said almost the exact same thing .
Long term chastity makes you a nicer softer more caring person.

I just wondered if there were any who have had their boy bits locked up for a year who still get drunk and go brawling down the local cat house..

Personally even though I have never had a device I experienced the what could be the extreme end of no playing with you willy advice.

When I was trying to sort out what my GD was all about. I was advised to stop cumming. Which I did by will power but how I found CM looking up chastity when I thought going long term I would need some help..

Once I started reading threads on here I was very interested in how many boys went from being locked up for a week or two ,to wanting to wear high heels and smooth legs in quite a short time.

Think of how many are maids or have it in their nick names or have pink satin dresses.
. Xx Wendy

 

I better add lol
Whilst all don't go for the frocks most if not all become very attentive soft caring guys .

Xx Wendy

 

Maybe you will see a difference with this post Wendy.

Chastity has so many different meanings to everybody. Especially long term.

Here's what it means to us.

It all started several years ago when I was desperately trying to find a way to rekindle our marriage. We have been married over 30 years and all of life's adventures along with raising kids and work everyday life we grew apart. Becoming empty nesters really showed how far we grew apart and had become just two people living under the same roof. No intimacy, no sex. Just a lot of nothing. We were both starving for intimacy but lost our way on how to get back to it.


I found out about chastity by pure accident while on the web. Ordered a device and when it came in, I talked to my wife about it. She wasn't very receptive about it, but wouldn't stop me from wearing it if I wanted. Over time, she noticed changes in me and started to get curious about it. She got rather amorous one night and really enjoyed me pleasuring her without having to worry about pleasuring me. That was all it took and she asked me for the keys.


We, probably like most people, started out slowly and worked our way up to longer lockups. When the longer lockups started, she would allow me an orgasm if I was good during the first year. We were getting reacquainted with each other and our lives started to change for the better.


After the first year, she decided that I would only be allowed a ruined orgasm from now on. No more full orgasms and the long lockups continued. She has pushed me as far as 6 months without unlock only to get ruined and back in for another 3 to 6 months. This went on for several years.


It was amazing. She was/is amazing. She had become sexually free and she/I loved the new her. She was getting all the pleasure she wanted when she wanted and I was getting all the pleasure I wanted by pleasuring her so we have both enjoying our new found pleasure.


Last year, we both decided that permanent orgasm denial for me would be best for the both of us. We will complete that first year next week. This time the lockup periods have been a little different. No less than 3 months, sometimes longer, but after a couple of them, she unlocked me every night for long sessions of repeated serious edging and denial for a week then locked for another 3 months or so.


We are having so much fun. It's like we are teenagers dating again. No more arguing or complaining. It's so much fun going out on dates, long walks, or just snuggling up together watching a movie. We are both excited to see each other every day. I love seeing her new found confidence. It has brought out the best in her and the best in me.


We don't have a D/s relationship and have no interest in any other kink. We don't even consider chastity a kink. We look at it as a relationship enhancer. We now share everything together instead of her doing all the cooking or laundry and me doing the yard work or other chores. In fact we pretty much do everything together.


I haven't had a full orgasm in years and haven't had any kind of orgasm in almost a year and will most likely ever have one again. . And guess what, I'm looking forward to it. In fact, we both are. So I haven't had a full orgasm in almost 5 years. The more I think about permanent orgasm denial, the more it turns me/we on. We are having the best sex of our lives now. All the arousal, caressing, and kissing and touching and hugging and cuddling and laughing and talking openly about anything is way hotter than any orgasm would be any time. It's amazing that after being married over 30 years, I ma hornier than I have ever been all the time. I start throbbing just thinking about my wife or waking in the morning to her beautiful eyes and smile or when she just walks into the room.


So can long term chastity change things for the better? We will let you people be the judge.