Recently a couple of members posted on here asking whether they were "broken". I think I get the general idea of what being broken is but I wouldn't mind hearing others perception of the meaning regarding chastity. Does this word just refer to those who have been locked for so long they no longer think about their own orgasm. Or can this also apply to others who are allowed to orgasm weekly or monthly but have finally accepted their position under their mistress, I.e no more arguing or trying to top from the bottom etc...
That's an interesting question and people who have experienced it will have different answers about what it was they were broken to. In my case it was simply being broken to accept my keyholder's will. Pain, sleep deprivation and the wiles of a mistress skilled at manipulation continued for several weeks until suddenly there was clarity, resistance, including sub-conscious resistance vanished. It was like walking in to the promised land. We then had a long time together and are still friends.
Coo However yes I think you are on the money but it's a harsh but very evocative word to use . Xx Wendy
Evocative for sure and the nuances and shades of meaning to different people are encyclopaedic. It didn't seem it at the time, but I later came to know that she acted that way out of an immensity of love. Tough love you might say, but never cruel. That's where I'd have issues when people talk about breaking someone. It can sound like hair-splitting, but intentional cruelty and lack of empathy are on the wrong side of something that's actually quite dangerous to mental health.
In the BDSM world it means total acceptance of submission to your dom. I have always believed that you break a man's male ego and not his self worth. That is crossing into psychological problem territory but then again, always remember that 60% of what you read online is false. Guys tend to live their sex lives online and make it sound real. I can be a 15 year old girl for all you know.
I've only a year into chastity, with a spouse who is wonderful and accepting ... and not interested in topping, but willing to tease me for the joy of it. Being broken is a very compelling thought. Every time I'm caged, Darlin' gets a little bit more matter-of-fact and teasing. I have high hopes that we will find some middle ground.
What does it mean to be broken? I'm thinking its firstly a matter of context. There are many different dynamics of relationships being lived by members on here and within those there are different activites being carried out for which one could become broken. Broken can also for some mean acceptance of something they disliked or taking to the extremis its now being something they crave.
My wife and I have been together 19 years. There have been many starts and stops with different kinds of dominance and chastity. The reality is she is a very strong woman who I want to please. I have topped from the bottom on many occasions and sometimes things happen because of our life and kids that make some of it difficult. Recently she put me back in chastity and I wrote up a chastity agreement for her which she edited and we both signed and agreed to it. I think expectations had not always been the same and now we are on the same page as she dictated that we had to do it her way this time. I am not sure that I am broken but I am locked and realize my place in the relationship better than ever. It is not always easy as I am used to being cage free/free range and now I am not. She says when I am locked I am way more subservient and more focused overall and that is better for her and our marriage. Honestly I have no idea when I will be released. I have a business trip in December so I am going to assume that is the soonest. Before I would try to get her to release me but now I don't dare ask or release will get extended. Maybe I am broken
The term "broken" comes from training an animal, e.g. breaking a wild horse so that he accepts being saddled, ridden and led by his owner. I don't take the term to mean psychological damage but rather acceptance by the submissive that his partner will be in control. In my case mu husband trusts me to be in total control of him, make decisions for him and be in total command of the relationship for the benefit of both.