Hello, My husband and I have been trying chastity and femdom for a few years on an intermittent basis. I have had particular difficulties coming to terms with this different lifestyle but now feel ready to take it on board. However I have some problems in being assertive and in teasing my husband effectively. My husband found this site and thought it would be helpful for me to speak privately to some of the ladies here. I would really appreciate any help and guidance you could offer me in helping me to become a fully fledged mistress. Eagerly waiting to hear from you soon. Gwenan
Oh honey! Embrace your inner bitch! Look deep into his eyes as you say something harsh. See that glazed look? See his pupils change? YOU did that! Rejoice in it, and feel the power! I just finished reading a little kindle novella called "His Deep Submission" by Kim Acton. It addresses this issue, and you'll "walk" away with ideas, a better understanding of your husbands mind, and how to proceed. You should check it out! (Do you have an ereader? PM me and I will hook you up) Good luck to you! How exciting for you both!
Hello Rebecca Thank you for you message, I have seen that look you spoke about I just have to do it more often. I don't have an ereader, whatever that is, but I have had it downloaded to my phone and look forward to reading it. Thanks for the advice. I will let you know how I get on. Regards Gwenan
An ereader is a Kindle, nook, or various other devices. Glad you downloaded it, it's short, but worth the read. PM me if you need ideas, have questions. This is such a great dynamic, enjoy it!
Hi Gwenan, It is understandable to be nervous at first but believe me the benefits are great! Maybe my view is slightly warped but I look on our relationship as an extension of chivalry. You would like it he walked through the rain and got soaked fetching the car so you could stay dry right? (he suffers you benefit) To me it is the same thing he suffers in chastity for my increased pleasure. On some level or other we all want to see if guys will suffer to prove themselves even if it is just not going to watch sport with their friends to take you shopping, we are just setting the bar higher OK my bar is supremo high - but I am worth the effort. I adore watching him absorbing strokes of my cane just to please me. Its that little tingle you get have a door opened for you, but 1000X Enjoy and don't feel guilty he wants to prove himself ;-) xx Ariel
Gwenan, On the teasing - does he have any fetishes? My boy loves me wearing pantyhose so having him spend most of the evening massaging my feet just drives him nuts and I get to just relax and enjoy. I like to fall asleep in bed while he is kissing me all over very gently, again drives him nuts feeling my body under his lips and no effort required from me ;-) On a more raunchy side I have him go down on me in the morning just before he leaves for work. He tells me he often won't eat or drink the whole day when I do that so he can enjoy me all day...he is quite a good boy really!! xx Ariel
Welcome to the Mansion. I feel most of it will come naturally if you are that way inclined. Have fun.
Don't let him pressure you about what HIS image of femdom looks like. Find what YOU enjoy about it. Not every dominant woman is a stern ice queen. It is HIS ISSUE if he thinks you are not dominant in the right way. There is no "right way" just YOUR WAY.
You are in charge, Ma'am, not him. If he is serious about being dominated, he'll understand that he is truly subservient to you. This means that you control every aspect of what happens and not him. One common tactic to help "break" someone who tries topping from the bottom is that when they start to tell you what to do, you as the Domme declare them "cured" and stop what you're doing. It allows you to show them that you are in charge of *everything*. Now, if you just want to humor him and have some fun in the bedroom with ropes and whips, sit down with him over dinner and discuss with him what he would like, then you can both agree that next time, it's your turn to get what you want from him.
Thank you, this reassures me more than you can know, I have often felt that his view is too cut and dried, I intend becoming firmer about what I want.
Yep, you're on the right track, Gwenan. He will adore you, the firmer you are, and the more you make him do things YOUR way. When he tries to top/boss you, or pouts, don't let him provoke you to action. Sounds like he needs the Domme version of the cold shoulder for insolent behavior such as that. If he truly wants you in control, then HE needs to learn patience and complacency. It would be fun to live next door to you! lol.
We have only recently joined here but I have dominated Mick almost since we first met many years ago. So please don't hesitate to contact me for any reason. Once you have taken control you will soon realise what you have both been missing out on. Have fun.