I have had my ups and downs on my journey so far and previous attempts at locking myself up highlighted my emotional needs for someone I feel a connection with and someone fairly local to me as well for real time ,not just handing over the keys to just anyone, . Last year I bought a Mature Metal device, after cheaper devices either rusted or didn't fit properly, and after putting it on to see if it was the right size etc I took it back off again and decided to wait until I met someone who I could explore this with. A few weeks ago I met an old friend who'm i'd seen and spoken to at munches before but never more than a few minutes at a time, and we spend some quality time together since she has split from her partner now. Although we are not full time because of her needs and wants we are kind of play partners and she is starting to help me with my pain threshold ( I don't play with just anyone either there has to be a connection there even though i get frustrated at my lack of play) and n ow she is exploring her Domme side as well she has agreed that today i'll have an orgasm and then shewill lock me up and take control of my orgasms . I have had to top from the bottom slightly and insist the spare key is in a small plastic box superglue shut so i'll have to smash it to get the key out ( it's an emergency key) and i've had to nudge her into me wearing ladies undies and i'm hoping that over time she will take more control and make it all her ideas as her confidence grows. So for the next few hours i'm still "free " and off to her house after work. Will let you know how it goes
Good luck. Most of us topped from the bottom to teach our keyholders what it is all about. I started off that way and today I informed my wife that I will no longer advise her or steer her decisions. She was on her own. Our relationship does not revolve around chastity. It is complicated but designed over a few decades of marriage. We have a wife led marriage with some D/S, domestic discipline which was administered today quite painfully and BDSM fetish. To make it more complicated, we drift in and out of the above and enter the plain vanilla world when appropriate. We sometimes need a break from chastity, BDSM, dominating and submitting. Glad to hear that you are working on your pain threshold. I have been doing that for a very long time and am at the point where I have not used my safe word in a very long time. I too only have relations with people that I have a friendship or emotional tie with because I am putting my life in someone's hands and I want to be able to trust those hands. I am sitting on a very bruised and sore butt as I type this. My wife likes to mark her man.
Correction. It should say some of us topped from the bottom. I have no statistics to warrant me saying "most".
Thank you, She does have some experience in "play locking" with someone more local to her, however that's more of a "fun thing" rather than anything serious because he has acces to his keys whenever he wants and when she hid them in her house for him too find (he has a key) his device, whatever it is, "accidently slipped off". Her main concern with me was being just over an hours drive away (because I had insisted on her holding my keys and I couldn't have accesss) and I put her mind at ease when I suggested emergency key in a plastic box superglue shut so I couldn't "cheat" but in case of an emergency I could smash it open and that put her mind at rest. I'm feeling a bit guilty because i'm suggesting things and ideas to her aand stressed to her that if she doesn't like or feel comfortable with anything then we don't do it, but i'm hopingthat when her confidence grows aand we get to know each other better we will both grow into this relationship aand our roles. First and foremost we are friends and the kink is second to that and whatever happens inthe future our friendship will outlast anything. Thank you about pain threshold, I had my firstplay in months last weekend and while it showed How low I actually was,it was great to experience it and again something that will improve over time and as we both grow together. Yes having a connection is a big thing for me, it doesn't feel right if there isn't one .
@ashplaything it's good to hear that you've found a connection with someone that is willing to help you on your journey. Unfortunately we can't expect our partners to read our minds even though we would like it to be that way. The way I see it, sometimes topping from the bottom is the only way to get the ball rolling, at least at the beginning. Especially with an inexperienced partner that seems to be the case. Good Luck on your journey.
@charger71 thank you. It is great we have a connection though just a shame it will never be a full time relationship . I got locked up this afternoon and now my orgasms are entirely in her hands, so to speak, . Had a bit of a problem in fitting the device as this was her first time, however I remembered some great advice I was given by @philfred and we did it thay way and hey presto it worked . Thank you so very much again @philfred. I've kept the spare key not superglued,in the plastic container for now while I get used to wearing the device again, but I can't forsee any problems but playing it safe just in case.
You are on your way. I am a stickler for safe and sane play as it has served me very well throughout several decades of fetish play. My emergency key is kept in a sealed and signed envelope which I have not touched in a long time, mainly because my wife and I are together all but two nights a week. In the beginning I did like you did and kept the key handy because I was still getting used to it and trying new spacers and rings until I found the best fit. Now my only problem is with occasional ball slippage or worse, a ball being squeezed caught half in and half out of the ring. I have been very glad that there was an emergency key available several times and I would not even consider being without one nearby. I like the idea of no key available but my better judgement gets in the way.
I keep hearing this ball slipping through the ring cuff. Obviously the cuff ring is not tight enough.
The difficulty I have is that my balls can actually enter my body in the groin area which makes life difficult with chastity. Not that I can get out of it but the pain is unbelievable until I squeeze them back out again. Not sure how I stop it but wish I could.