For 'failed orgasm' while inside a device, the type of device and how it fits matters from experience. I have multiple cage style devices and less skin makes for less access and therefore harder to manipulate an orgasm in my opinion. Sure, try hard enough and it will happen. Vinny will state i have violated my key holders trust and even questions why you are in a device if you try to orgasm. However, it happens and if the device is secure and skin is not showing, it is hard to do. Hence the 'ability' to do it makes it less impulsive. So, what device is best? Mature Metal Queens Keep or Pet Trap or Watchful Mistress? Any input here on other manufacturers? This is a ~500 decision so it is a big decision. Thanks in advance.
I will not say that. Only think it. Seriously though, throughout the years, men who could not refrain from masturbation end up quitting it sooner than those who can handle the orgasm denial. That does not make you any less in my eyes or the eyes of others. it is just a fact and what you are doing now is like buying your way into heaven. Any device with an opening will allow you to put a swab or something else in the opening so you can masturbate. I posted the link yesterday where you can order those swabs. My message is simple, trying to stop yourself from masturbating by throwing money on different devices does not work and it wastes a lot of money. I am no angle. I went through 5 or 6 devices before I learned that either I want to be orgasm free or give up on chastity. I even took a few months off to decide. It took me years to get to where I am now and even then, I want to orgasm real bad right now and I am not superhuman. I do sometimes edge myself when I get very horny but stop just in time or when a drop or two comes out. Do chastity your way. My opinion is just my opinion and not a condemnation of anyone. I have done a lot worse than most people I know. I am not faulting the man. I am faulting the logic that a different cage will prevent someone from masturbating. I have the Jailbird and all those other MM cages will also make it easy to masturbate. Even if there were no openings, put a vibrator against the device and you will orgasm. My wife almost made me orgasm like that last week and I had to stop her before it was too late. No one can make you stop masturbating other than yourself and that is a fact that money cannot change. Even if my hands were bound, after a few months of orgasm denial, I could twitch my penis and make myself orgasm with no hands. You do bring up something interesting. In fact I have discussed this as a fallback position with my wife. My wife would like to never have to give me an orgasm or let me freely masturbate. We talked about what if I could not go as long as she wants, without me having an orgasm. If that ends up being the case, it is agreed that she will not let take part in my orgasm or unlock me. I would have to make myself orgasm while locked up, which is not going to be as good because I will not be hard and it will feel like I am cheating. Seriously, I would feel like I am cheating on my wife. People talk about their spouses cheating and focus on the sex part. For me, I do not care about the sex with others part since we both have had sex with others while married. The part that hurts me is doing it on the sly without letting the other spouse know. We had what is sometimes called ethical non monogamy. Everything was in the open with the knowledge of the other person. If I snuck an orgasm in, I would have to admit that I broke my promise to my wife and it is uncertain if she would want to continue to be my Keyholder or not since there would be in point in it. It is just something we discussed but have not agreed to. Chastity is like going on a diet. If you do not have the willpower to lower your calorie count, you are not going to lose weight or will lose it and regain it like 90% of the people do. Just look at yourself. Trying to find some magic chastity device that will prevent you from masturbating. There are no such things so save your money. It is like when I was into BDSM. My Mistress did not want to tie me down for the whipping. She felt that if I had to be forced into enduring the pain I was not doing it for her, I was doing it because I did not love her enough to endure it without being forced to. Think about that for awhile. I do not write the chastity rules. I just try to understand the psychology behind my fetishes. There are more people into BDSM using pink plastic handcuffs and paddles than those into spiked whips and leather cuffs and collars. In the end, whatever gives you pleasure and/or caters to a psychological need, is the right thing for you. I even know that my need for masochistic pain was due to suffering from depression. Once I went on medication, I no longer was into extreme pain. Now I can hardly take 10 whacks from my wife's paddle and we are working on getting me back up to the level where I could take 100 from any of impact devices. Even if I cannot do more than 20, that is not a failure. That is a limit. Just enjoy and do not worry what others think, especially me. I am not all knowing and seeing. Well, at least not all of the time. I only would suggest that you tell your Keyholder if you do orgasm while locked up as that is cheating and you can never sustain a relationship if you are going to cheat all the time.
trying to have an orgasm and failing makes it real. knowing i have my puck completely under my control would require him wanting, trying and failing. it is only then does he know for sure he is helpless and powerless. personally i have not found the cage that is fool proof but an anesthetic ointment applied at the right times works best so far....
This is an interesting thread to read, as someone who recently experienced her partner achieving an accidental/failed orgasm. Unfortunately I don't have much to help with @jetertherat 's original question, as we ourselves haven't tried very many devices. We had the problem with a loose Holy Trainer and are hoping that the custom fit Jailbird we ordered recently will help. There are two potential causes for a failed orgasm. The first is willpower. In that regard, @Vinny 's thoughts about mental commitment being the most important factor ring true to me. If you're honestly attempting to achieve orgasm while locked, no device will stop you. The attitude must change first. I am fortunate to have a boy who is already committed to denial and does not require a device to stay chaste; he has done admirably so far on the honor system, on repeated occasions. The second cause is a device that is honestly faulty in some way, such as showing too much skin or fitting poorly. If you can hit orgasm in a device without much effort, as happened with us, there's a problem. I define "not much effort" as, for example, jostling the cage with your hands as a display of frustration or if you're tying to scratch an itch. I do not consider inserting an object or applying a vibrator to fit into this category, as those have clear intent to stimulate. If our new device does not solve this problem when it arrives, then we would rather go with the honor system than wear it and take the risk of another accident.