Hey everybody I am just curious about how everyone feels about and views respect in your FLR. Like alot of FLR, mine was instigated by me (the man) and we have been very open about what our interests are and aren't and mine are more 'extreme' than hers. I won't go into detail about the differences as it's not important and the majority of them are common around here. Anything my wife is not comfortable with I have not pursued or asked about since unless she brings it up as I am very happy with what we have. What am uncomfortable with is the feeling that she may lose respect for me as time goes along as the lifestyle permits me to be in humiliating positions fairly regularly. Does anyone else struggle with this, and how do you deal with it? Also, any Woman in an FLR that want to share their view would be very helpful. Thanks
Every couple has to find their balance point between each person’s ideals and what is practical in reality. I have written on here before how my wife had some unrealistic expectations when we started and I felt very frustrated. It went the other way around, too. We have each had to adjust and work at it over time to make it good for both of us.
You are married, with all that that means. If you proceed patiently, at *her* speed, incorporating only what she is ready to incorporate, and make it about her and use your chastity as a symbol (and motivator) of your devotion and service to her it is more likely that the opposite will happen, that she will grow in her respect of you as you break out of the socialized mold you fear is the only mold she will respect.
My Bride for the first time did Her best to humiliate me a bit in front of two other couples we spent this weekend with. I will spare you all the details, but we are both secure enough with each other after 17 years, that I enjoyed the attention She brought to me as they all had a good laugh at my expense. I truly have no fears or worries about Her level of respect or loosing respect for me in any way. I am getting what I asked for, for real.
As our marriage evolved from "play" or "spice" to very much more a lifestyle our love and respect for each other hasn't done anything but grown. The dynamic of an FLM for us works given our personalities (oversimplifying a bit.) Finding the balance that translates to synergy is the key. The beauty of this is there is no right or wrong--it's what works for the partners. Some of it trial and error a lot of it exploring and discussing explorations openly. If one or the other feels harmed--and that can happen unintentionally at times--being able to clear the air quickly makes for keeping that balance where it needs to be. That saying--"I may hurt you but never harm you"--just remember to keep that straight
Losing respect is one thing, thinking of you differently is another. There are certain things you can’t unknow or unsee. She loves me and has grown to love her role as my dominant. When she suggested I be her maid some of the time, there was a slightly different look on hr face when she saw me that way. It wasn’t a bad look or a disgusted look, but it was different. She had a little smile and a playful look that she had some insight into how much control she had over me. She had the same look when she first had me clean up my mess. We now have a much more open and honest relationship, she feels open enough to talk about my lack of size or other things that would cause others to either blush or get upset. I think she respects me even more than ever, but that doesn’t mean she thinks of me in the same light as she once did...which makes sense, since she is discovering more about me.
I deal with this on a weekly basis. I love to be humiliated by BK. She’s very good at it, in fact she’s too good at It. It scares me how easily the situation turns and I can be humiliated by just the words coming out of her mouth. I often ask her if she loses respect for me because of the way she treats me and because I let it happen. She says she doesn’t lose respect for me, she just loves me. I know that overtime it has to take it’s toll so I’m trying to be careful with it. it’s so hard because I have such a craving for it. I know we need to be careful but only time will tell. I also think that if you introduce another person like a bull or boyfriend it would make it 10 times worse, she would lose respect for me and gain respect for the boyfriend as time went on.
Having Respect for your Mistress/ Key holder/ Wife is the most important element of a good relationship. If you both don’t have respect for each other than it would make for a very difficult arrangement. Miss Shelly wasn’t always interested in taking control over our sex life and being the person in control but over time she has grown into who she is today. I’ve always tried very hard to respect her no matter what direction our Chastity life was going to go. Years ago if she had said No I’m not locking you up and holding the key. I would have excepted the direction our life would have taken. We have mutual respect for each other and try and give each other what we both want or need out of our marriage. It’s worked rather good for the last 38years. Love Trust and Respect. The foundation of a lasting relationship