dont expect to be soft when u give the key to her

So you thought you could give her the keys and still be able to make your sexual decisions? That is called 'topping from the bottom' and it does not work
The basis of handing keys over is a power exchange relationship. So all the decisions will be hers and you will do as you are told. She's plainly doing things properly. There's no point for her in holding your keys unless she can also get out of it what she wants for herself.
Andit looks likeshe means to get it , and if this means a steep learning curve for you then so be it.
It's the old adage: BCWYWF.

 

I think we all have some sort of perceived outcome that we have in our head. Whether it’s what we expect from them or what we expect their response will be. It probably seldom is exactly how we first pictured it. Even if it is, chances are they will modify it as they adjust.

I had thought this would turn into me locking up, her controlling when it was unlocked, and teasing would happen when she felt like she wanted me more into her. It was like that for a very short period. As things progressed, the reality is that with the decisions being hers, you may lose certain things that you had once thought were just part of the deal.

1. Frequent uncaging and playing with it. It went from daily to sometimes giving it a pat through my pants. She used to rub vitamin E oil on it every night to make sure my skin was healthy there. Not so much of a concern now lol.
2. Blowjobs. She used to do this every time we were intimate. At least for a little while. Now it doesn’t seem to be something she feels the need to do. She said she used to enjoy it, but now that she has taken a dominant role, it doesn’t feel right.
3. Playfulness. Don’t get me wrong, she can still push all my buttons, but sending me pics, and texts has gotten fewer and farther between. I don’t think she feels the need to get me any more riled up...I’m pretty much a walking horndog anyway.

Other things certainly have changed as well, be it routines, fantasy fulfillment, and even doing some things that are her kink and not necessarily yours. My kh has evolved, and is still evolving. It took a lot for her to let go of certain feelings of obligation and stereotypical roles, and part of that may not conform to what we had in our heads when we first hand them our keys.

 

I second that

 

One of the things that has evolved in our relationship is "the quicky". Now and again she just " wants it", so on goes the strap on and she rides it until she cums, then off she gets and that's it! No touching, no teasing nothing at all for me. Mind you she normally says thank you! And smiles at my swollen cock trying to escape from its cage. Frustrating or what! But I love it.

 

I never would have thought my wife/KH would get into fucking me with a strap on, but she loves it. Huge ego boost for her. She remarked, "You fucked me for almost 30 years, resulting in 6 kids that I had to carry. My turn now. Drop your pants and bend over!" At first, I was nervous but now I realize this is the best sex I'll ever have from now on. I've even cum a couple of times while receiving anal sex, which she really gets a kick out of. When she sees it leaking from my cage, she really starts riding me: "I guess you're really are faggot, aren't you-you love it!" Not that she's homophobic-its just a term used in erotic play.

At first, I could only take about 1/2 of the length of her 10" strap on, but I've gradually gotten a little deeper. She insists she's going to keep fucking me until I can take it "balls deep". We'll see. Great fun.

 

My wife is a softee when it comes to my chastity device. More often than not when I ask her if I can remove it the answer is yes. Sometimes it disappoints me and sometimes I am so very thankful.