Here is one for you all to ponder on ....... your thoughts please

Hi there!

My input would be that there is as much a psychological aspect to keyholding as there is a physical one.

You still control his orgasms. He knows (and dare I say it) loves that!

So even though he is not chaste, and you are not holding the key to his device, you are still holding the key to his sexuality....

Doesn't that make you his keyholder still....?

With the absolute kindest regards.

J.

 

First I would agree with knightservant but I would also give you my full thoughts:

You are very much still his keyholder in the chastity sense as he is staying chaste for you. For practical reasons you are using the honour system as opposed to a device but that makes no difference; you control his ofgasm so you are as far as I'm concerned his keyholder. But does the label really matter? After all he is your collared sub and that's all that matters isn't it?

 

I'm with @knightservant. Titles mean very little when you have a connection with someone and that connection is defined by whatever works between the 2 of you. From my perspective, I'd say you are his Mistress and that means much more than the term "keyholder" in my humblest of opinions....

 

You are and you will always remain his keyholder
I consider the collar a kind of chastity
If you want him to permanently accept you as his keyholder, then tattoo your name on him that is visible
This has worked wonder in my case
My wife has made me tattoo her name on my forearm
Cage & collar can be removed, tattoo can't be, so easily
I'm proud of her to be my owner!

 

well i thinks that its anything You wants it to be, Mistress, curtsy.

 

Ask yourself, why do you think it matters to you whether you are considered a keyholder or not. You are to him, what you are, even if he is not collared and locked. You will always hold the metaphorical key to his submissiveness. I understand that sometimes the symbolism is a big part of the fetish to the sub and if that is the case, you have to deal with it. It can be as simple as having him paint one fingernail black to remind him of you. In my case, it was an earring 17 years ago.

 

I'm sure the collar is as good a reminder now as the chastity device was when you started. dickie is not in chastity full time either,but after 9 years, knows his place. While occassionally collared, I find that an anklet, which does not ever come off, and the fact he has his totally natural looking acrylic nails done every two weeks is as an effective rminder now as any chastity formerly used. dickie knows that simply replacing the clear top gloss on his nails with polish can quickly change his position in FLR for all to see. As effective as any material device.....
Mistress Suzan

 

This is very much the sort of terminology debate that has plagued us since the Internet has been around. "Doms", "Subs", "Keyholders", etc. are labels When you type on here they appear to be important to some people. In real life they are meaningless. What you apparently have is a relationship where you are topping this guy. The symbol of your authority is a collar. It has a key. Great.

What possible difference does it make what label you apply? Your relationship is unique. If you like being a "keyholder" than that is what you are. It isn't who you are nor is it descriptive of your relationship. At least, that's my view.

 

@MistressBitch with respect Mistress what an interesting question.

Your sub position sounds similar to mine in his history with devices and I'm collared as well, with what sounds like an identical collar. Mine has not been removed for ages now, it will come off tomorrow due to a hospital appointment but that is the first time in over a year in public. ...

I reckon any fool can wear a Chastity device , I'm not saying everyone is a fool, but a collar is very visible and can cause questions. I know. ..

So Keyholder or not you are in charge and he is yours... simples
Regards
Lucy x

 

MB[/QUOTE]
I would call you a key holder. While your slave is not locked in a cage, you still have control over whether or not he has an orgasm. From a certain point of view, this would make you more of a dom and key holder than when he wore a cage. Previously, you controlled his cock. Now, you control his mind.