'IF' and when the time comes (sorry) when my Goddess gives me a real & deliberate orgasm I'm note sure if the semantic is 'getting' to come as in a reward or is it being 'forced' to come as in a punishment? Or, is it be a bit of both?? It's been over three years since I've been given a real deliberate orgasm and my horniness and craving for my Goddess is beyond comprehension. When I ask if She'll ever let me have a real orgasm Her response has always been "Never say never but I don't know when assuming it will happen again" When I'm edged and get very close I'm afraid of going over the edge to a full orgasm but I'm also SEVERELY CRAVING to experience a real orgasm. So my mental outlook is to just accept whatever fate my Goddess @n2toys decides; either to be continually denied or given an orgasm at some point. She did whisper in my ear the other night "When I give you an orgasm I'm going to continue with Post-Orgasm-Torture" - I crave POT when horny but once I cum it is truly torture that is pretty much unbearable. So the 'when' implies I will get an orgasm again at some point and it very well may be a case of both a reward and punishment rolled up as one. However, it's always my Goddess' choice; She'll take suggests / requests into consideration - such as if she does grant me an orgasm I requested to not be hooded and be tied where I can see Her face during the moment. It's still so absolutely INCREDIBLE of what my Goddess does to me, physically & emotionally