I think it would be great if more people spent more time talking honestly about themselves, openly sharing their actual experiences and experiments, and candidly (and bravely) reflecing on what those experiences meant to them, and how they felt during them - and what they learned about themselves in the process.
But instead of contributing earnestly and sharing their own true life experiences in a way that adds value to the forum, certain prolific members choose to spend their time and influence flooding the forum with thread after thread about how they think
other people could or should cater their participation to best appeal to
yet another group of people.
See the problem with this pattern? It’s a whole lot of posting about other people. Presuming to know, for instance, what this apparently massive and highly sought after group of “vanilla” observers may or may not want to see, or be scared off by, etc., and then presuming to tell
everyone else how they could and should be worrying about that too. All without ever seeming to contribute anything of insight or depth that might actually show an observer how chastity fits into
your own life, in a way that may be relatable to theirs.
If were one of these “vanilla” passers by, I do truly believe I would be more putt-off by the constant (and terribly boring and repetitive) threads about how best to attract them than I would by reading entries containing topics that I’m not into. I see the difference between the growing collection of those threads and the “how do I get my wife to participate in chastity” threads as more or less semantic, and nearly as manipulative. You’re just trying to manipulate how everyone else presents themselves in order to better manipulate them.
And at the end of the day you’ve done nothing but deter members from posting honestly about themselves for fear of thinly veiled ridicule.
Sharing genuinely and openly, and in a way that shows that you’re a real person and not just some (insert fetish here) crazed caricature will do more to present the many possibilities of this lifestyle to the unacquainted than 1000 threads talking about how to best to do so. And doing so has the added benefit of not being so bloody boring and redundant.
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An example of this (not coincidentally drawn from
my actual experience first arriving at the mansion):
@Dufty shared a thread in such a way as I describe, and it was his thread that made me stay when Thatgirl first showed me CM two years or so ago. Many, many elements of his experience were WAY outside of my personal comfort zone, but I didn’t care, because I could tell those details
weren’t the point. His thread included, for example, entries chronicling experiences with cuckolding, and “forced” bi-sexuality, but his posts weren’t
about cuckolding or forced bi. They were about
him, and what was going on inside his head, and those were simply two among many experiences that he recounted while expressing himself. The distinction there means a lot, and the result was a very human and relatable piece of story telling, even if certain individual topics weren’t palatable (to me).
Contrast that thread and others like it with threads shallowly and narrowly focused on and about a specific fetish (which tend to be unnecessarily graphic, and tell you nothing about the author other than that they REALLY love (fill in the fetish), and the difference should be plain as day. Realty is almost never so off-putting.
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In an effort not to hijack this thread I will post this as a new thread of my own. But I wanted to start here because reading the OP’s O.P. was what got me thinking. I did not read the “kink shaming” posts he was responding to because I know what thread they in turn were reacting to, of course, and because the specifics are immaterial to my point (and likely to bother me).