Long term with Sex and orgasms

That's me man. Pretty much any other moment of my life I've wanted to fuck and cum as often as I could. Now, somewhat all of a sudden, I don't want to cum. But my wife loves sex. But only PIV and only if I finish inside. I'm like, "aw, come on. Please don't make me cum". WTF? This all started once I put the cage on. I'm good at oral, I've gotten her toys, I bought a strap on. Nothing is good enough. She wants the real thing. I think she's just fucking with me. The challenge is real.

 

If you can go 2 weeks without cumming and then edge for more than 5 seconds, you're a better man than me.

 

It's up to her. You brought chastity into your marriage because you want her to have control of your dick. After four years, you've shrunk a lot and become quicker and she knows this. Being locked full-time and let out every couple of weeks will accelerate that process and enhance her confidence as a keyholder. Let her lead, and be careful what you wish for.

 

Um. I'm have pretty high self-esteem. But, if what you say is true, you are a "better man than me". Just sayin'

 

This itch isn’t going to go away. Your partner is handing it in a plate to you. Accept it, however scary that might be.
The fact that she is willing to go along with it so readily would imply (to me) that maybe sex isn’t the big priority to her that it is to you.

Once you’ve been through that, handed over your manhood and accepted only the pleasure that you have earned in return, your mind won’t go to this definition of being a man:

This is nothing. I can top your figures at 37 with 18 years of 3 monogamous relationships. I thought I excelled in the bedroom, but chastity makes you hone in on your partners wants and needs. You will become the best lover you have ever been… but probably only to her. Does that matter? If your willing to hand over your keys, that says that this relationship is for life.
Having the courage to devote yourself fully to one person. That makes you a man! The previous sexual encounters will only be a good memory that can aid in letting you live without regrets.

What’s the worst that could happen right? It’s not like she will never let you is for her again… that almost never happens

Honestly, let her take away your penis. It doesn’t sound as though you are using it very well anyway if nobody is coming back for a second helping !
(Ok, that’s just a joke.)

 

You see there. That's what I'm talking about. I think I'm at 11. But they'll tell you, it's not quantity, it's quality. Yeah, most of my relationships sucked. But I am married now to the best of the best for 18 years. And she now owns my cock. So, who's counting (besides all of us)?

 

Honestly, I completely lost count. It went somewhere around the time I had an encounter with my best friend, a gay man and his friend (who was female). At that point you’ve got to question, which part of that counts?!

I think that highlights an issue I was having rather than bragging rights or anything. What was I really looking for? Over time, these things fade into memory. The real moments you treasure are those when you have connected in that really meaningful way. So yes, now, I 100% agree that it is the quality not the quantity.
Not so long ago I wrote out my top 10 memorable sexual encounters for my wife. Sharing is caring. I think she featured in 4 out of the 10! The quantity of partners is really just a number that means very little.
Side note. One of the top moments was the first time she strapped on a real feel dildo. It’s not surprise that she now does this so often as I have communicated the enjoyment with her.

On the positive side of this exploration. I don’t live with fantasies now, I just have past-experiences which I don’t feel a need to have to repeat. Like I said, they allow you to live without regrets.

 

rofl I've had sex with 0.

Don't worry if you want orgasms or not. You gave up control didn't you?

 

Talk to your wife about this. It appears she enjoys the control of keeping you locked up and wants that to continue until the end of the year. Sounds fun! But you also both need to be on the same page regarding how you will satisfy her desires, and how often (or not) you will get an orgasm.

How important is intercourse? I believe hubby has very good self control, yet after a month or so of denial there's no way we could have intercourse that satisfied me without him also cumming. So we don't even try. Personally, I like the results of long term denial more than I miss having him inside me. There are plenty of other ways for him to give me an orgasm. How does your wife feel about this? Will she be satisfied with fingers, tongue, and/or vibrator for the next couple of months?

How does your wife feel about your orgasms? You are curious about going a few months without, but maybe she derives pleasure over making you cum. Or maybe she would feel guilty having an orgasm when you didn't. That's a tough bridge to cross. Mostly it comes down to learning that there is also pleasure in denial. When I unlock hubby, tease him for a bit, then lock him back up, I'm confident that I have given him some enjoyment. But that confidence didn't happen overnight.

 

Suggestions for what? You just described the conundrum, the paradox that makes the whole thing so damn exciting, and ironically, arousing. You want it, but you don’t want it. In fact, not wanting to be denied magnifies the arousal from being denied.

 

I’m with you …. It’s complicated to want not to cum/ejaculate so tonight will be a PIV with Karazza I am now about 7 days since the last time and going through a PIV without the completion makes me more attentive and orgasmic without ejaculating, I love the mood it puts me in I become like my wife/ mistress owns me I do everything for her, she likes me like this too. So I asked her to help me hold off again but I still want to please her as she desires. We’ve been at this FLM chastity since 2018 and we are fining it to grow more and more exciting…it’s all in her hands and she likes what it is doing to me.

 

Yes, but if only it were that easy. This is what is challenging. Some women (cough, my wife) have some distance to go before they help you avoid cumming. Some day I'll understand why my orgasm is important to her, even though it marks the end of our fun time.

 

Something about that unknown excitement of not having control anticipation of an orgasm without ejaculation we tried karazza and once it worked and once it did not so onward and upward I say..lol!

 

I think watching me get excited and almost breathless turns her on like watch me masterbate to completion turns her on but ends the presentation I love doing it but it is a double edged sword, because it is a mood destroyer, my mood not hers.

 

We’ve been using chastity in our BDSM relationship for over 4 decades if I include leather devices. We’ve experimented with all kinds of release schedules including Variable Ratio Reward Schedules (which will condition you to behave better SCIENCE). After long periods of denial she would usually take me out for a while. Turns out neither of us are into long term denial. She however has become a dedicated Femdom who is very much into control. She has me in full time chastity now 7 days a week and 365 days per year. But she loves great sex as well as teasing me to orgasm. So I’m out for an hour or less twice a week on average while in stringent bondage so she can have her way with me. She loves it and so do I. But it doesn’t really matter because she will have it her way regardless.

 

Next month starts our 13th year, I think. I am locked up again after many months due to medical issues for both of us as we are in out 70’s. My wife still thinks it is top cruel to deny me a full year. Plus just as I get pleasure giving her orgasms, she does too giving them to me.

I have gone six months orgasm free but by then, my desire for no more orgasms dwindled and she gave me an orgasm against my wishes. She rightfully told me that she was in charge of my penis and what I wanted did not matter. I was reminded that I agreed that sexual was for her pleasure only and her pleasure was to make me orgasm against my will. She was right. Two things happened that night. My orgasm was very weak and I hardly ejaculated much. Not very enjoyable.

My wife did it to show me she is in charge when it comes to sex plus to force me to start over again getting used to no orgasms. I am sexually submissive and my wife’s female lover was my Mistress. I learned early on that if you submit, you do not get to tell her what to do specifically. For instance I list my limits. No anal because I was young and stupid once and tore my colon by being pegged by a girl who used a large dildo. My fault because I did not use my safe word. The only other limit is simply not do anything that will require medical attention. This has worked for me. I have been subjected to just about everything you see in porn. At least in porn 15 years ago.

Just today my wife said she did not want to deny permanently. She will give me orgasms on special occassions which is about 4-5 times a year. I simply told her she is in charge and to do what she wants. That is why it works for us so long. We are also practical. I am unlocked when we go out since it is not wearing the cage that is our focus but rather not orgasming without her permission. In other words I am.ocked at home but not when there is an unlikely chance I will jerk off in a filthy Walmart bathroom. Guys tend to get into the equipment more than the goal.

realistically I and everyone else locked up cand make themselves orgasm in several ways you can even see in porn. So let’s not pretend that a chastity cage will stop us. Anti pullout? No problem just hold a vibrator!y age is a reminder of my pro agains the cage or still a swab through an opening and jerk off. Heck you can jerk off the cage and cum that way too. So let’s not pretend that being locked stops us from jerking off. IT DOES. NOT.

My cage is a reminder of my promise not to make myself cum and a speed bump to give me time to think k about what I am thinking of doing. Another thing I learned over 55 yes of fetish sex is unless you both agree it is not going to workout in the long term. I went through many some gils to find one that was great and I to what I was into. The other thing we learned from my mentor is keep the fetish in the bedroom. If you try to run your marriage or relationship based on 24/7 fetish rules, it will not last.

Next week is my 51st anniversary married. Our approach to fetish sex worked for us. Of course chastity requires you wear the cage at home so you wear it and go about your normal life with it. I know from experiences in forums tha most will not last more than a few weeks or months. They try to do chastilike porn portrays it. I know first hand that I ca. get turned in by acts I see in porn it in real life where I cannot co tell all the action or players, it usually epwas or a good experience. Watch wife with my best friend was a bore and my wife hated it. Had sex with 5 girls. Too confusing and I stopped them. There’s some I love and have had close to 3,000 since I lived in a poly triad for 30 years.

I even watched a girlfriend gang bang my three friends. Not exciting at all and I left her. I did not get aroused and my friends told everyone I know about it so we broke up. She broke the ne rule I had, no sex with friends. A few years later after we did a wife swap we never saw those friends again.

my point is that you either let her do it her way or you will not last long. However there is hope. Compromise. Most do one orgasm a month according to every on line survey and even what the makers of Mature Metal do. Or, just go longer between your orgasms gradually.

What I did was make a big show and thank you to my wife when she denied me. When she made me cum, I acted like no big deal and said I guess I have to go through the 10 days of hormones urging me to orgasm again. This is real. Google it. She understands that it is crueler to make me cum than deny me. A little subtle psychology.

over time we went months between orgasms. I actually learned to share her orgasm. I no longer feel horny after her orgasm plus feel calm. I do not top from the bottom. I just do not react as she thinks I would and it is up to her what she wants to do. My wife’s girlfriend rarely had sex with me after we entered our S&M agreement. Oral once and two failed pity intercourse attempts and I have not had intercourse of any kind in about the last 25 years. Oral on her is allowed once a year on our anniversary. Mine is next week.

My few orgasms each year are by my hand mostly. My wife needs me to moan in pain to cum real fast so a lot of my sex is BDSM. One last tidbit of info is to schedule time each month to discuss what is or is not working for either of you and then adjust. We just do it once a year now. We take a break to allow my penis to grow back to normal and my plumbing is working at full force again. We also discuss any changes. Now we are old and my sex drive is much lower and my irgadms are not long or very pleasurable anymore so I can wait three months if she wants to force me to cum. See what I said? My wife now views giving me an orgasm as a negative impact on me and therefore fits into her sexual domination of me.

I lived with two sexually dominant women but as soon as sex was over, I went back to the dominant head of household because I made the money to support them and lavished them with expensive things. Plus if we could not agree we voted. Two women against me meant they often got their way but not because they were my Dommes.

just explain to your wife that you get pleasure from being denied and agree on a time period which is discussed at the end of each month to adjust if needed. Everyone wants permanent orgasm denial. Every new guy says that. Heard it many times. However once the reality kicks in, they change their minds. Start slow and then if you both want Tom go without longer. Teach her about ruined orgasms. The crux of this issue is most women judge their sexuality by giving their partner an orgasm. Takes time to reprogram a mind to feel that denying an orgasm gives a man pleasure too.

Quite frankly most guys give up chastity once the initial excitement wears off. Even the marketing direct of CBX said it in an interview 12 years ago and out of hundreds of guys I met online only one still is into chastity. They all told me that will not happen, but it did. Go slow and ignore the porn. Do what works for you. Explain that what you want to try will give you pleasure. In fact we did it on the honor sysyfor a long time before the time period between orgasms got longer and longer. Talk, compromise and cofine it to the bedroom as much as possible. We live a normal married life but I have 5 drawers filled with BDSM torture toys.

 

I also made a challenge to myself to cum less, I had a period of very frequent sex and every time I came I felt bad, I also bought my girlfriend a dildo https://metimetoys.com/collections/dildos so that she would leave me alone for a while, then we broke up...

 

I’m coming up on 21 days. I was informed last night, I will go until at least the end of the year if not longer. My KH loves PIV, but has also come to love my tongue and an extension we bought. I was treated last night to numbing cream and a condom. Man did I miss the feel of being inside her. I mentioned that I missed the warm and wet feeling and the response was miss it all I want. “Sex is for her pleasure now. Not mine.” Then she let me know my fate till the end of the year and said if I continue to orally serve her as I have, she may not need to unlock her cock at all to make me pussy free except on my birthday and our anniversary. Her face was serious. Be careful about what you wish for. I know I am now.

 

I've reached the place where I would love that. We've done it once or twice and I've told her how much fun it was. Even if it didn't involve PIV. Just being out of the cage and able to crawl around in bed with her was amazing. But she doesn't seem to want to offer me the opportunity. I can't keep suggesting the idea because I gave her the key and asked her to control my sexuality.

 

When I was younger, I loved to cum as many times as possible and not uncommon to go 2-3 times in an evening. My wife also had a strong sex drive so it was common for us to spend a weekend in bed when the kids were away. Over the years we started with chastity devices and my orgasms were set by her desire to have sex and it became 1 or every other week I was let out for fun.

As my ED developed and my oral work continues to keep her satisfied, my being out of the cage is more of a whim or bargained for activity. I still like to orgasm, but every 2 weeks works perfectly. Plus now when we make deals, she has no limits on what I can do and being she is a 3 hole gal, it works for me.

 

I started getting interested in chastity with an ex about a decade ago. I’m a very sexual person and I love promiscuous females. I never thought about the sub or dom aspects of chastity. But idea of that type of bondage was very exciting and kind of like cock jewelry . I’m just a pleaser and I wanted to know that when we were having sex that she really wanted it and she wasnt just pleasing me because I ask. Well there was I lot I didn’t consider and that relationship end soon after, though we still stay in touch. When I meet my now wife, I immediately told her about my interest in chastity and she thought it was odd but was intrigued so she purchased the cb curve. We’ve now been together 8yrs married 4 and we’ve been on an off with chastity play throughout that time, I now have several cages. It always ends when life starts to get heavy she stresses out, doesn’t want the responsibility and throws the key at me. She likes the chastity play and initiates when we play, she likes the look and feels it often throughout the day when in play. However, she has recently expressed guilt for denying me when we play and that she is not sure when she should release me. She loves sex and loves to receive my cum but really only gets off though clit stimulation. The best way I could explain it to her was to consider how many blowjobs she’s giving to guys with no reciprocation, and how much she enjoyed doing that for them with no expectations but pleasing them. I explained I get the same pleasure pleasing her on her terms. If she wants a quickie and no time for PIV ( the cage requires times to take off and put back on so that’s a factor) that I am more than happy to oblige her. If she wants my cum it’s hers she can have it however she wants and that’s the biggest turn on for me. This analogy has seemed to have resonated with her and things seem very relaxed. This past week has been stressful but the chastity remains. Good luck with your endeavors!

 

Absolutely true! Wise words!