My Journey, in fits and spurts

So today is day 10 (or so) of spending time back in chastity after a break, and it’s seemingly taking a lot longer for me to get to where I’m wearing it 100% of the time. I keep having too much trouble getting my balls through the ring of the Black Mamba, so I’m back to wearing the vice (although without the vice clamp right now). I did buy a new metal one with a hinged ring from Amazon, but I think I got the ring too small. Well, at least I’m having too much trouble getting it on and too much pain after wearing it for a few minutes to make it worth trying to wear longer. They sell separate rings so I’ve ordered the next size up now and we’ll see how that goes.

Yesterday was a fun time in chastity for the wife (I hope). I recently purchased the Vixskin, and we finally tried it out while I was in chastity. We’ve only tried this once before, with a much cheaper dildo. That was a miserable experience for her, and I’m thankful she was willing to try again at all. This dildo was much more comfortable for her, and she liked the experience. She was able to really guide me in what is pleasurable for her, which I (hopefully) learned a lot from. For example, there’s no reason for me to ever go fast with her. She’d much rather me go slowly and be deliberate with holding the end of the thrust. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to get her to orgasm with just the thrusting, but at the end I was able to stay in her (well, the dildo was) and use a magic wand at the same time. That was more than enough, and her orgasm seemed to last much longer than they normally do. I had her worked up! Hopefully at some point I can get her to orgasm with just the thrusting, but since it isn’t even my junk doing the work, it’s more important for her to like it. She has agreed to do this again sometime, and I hope we can do it soon!

One thing I did while we were making love is using the Hush 2. I have the original Hush, but the size is too big to really comfortably go in. (I can, but it’s work). I got a slightly smaller size, and it was much more enjoyable experience. And wearing it while making love to the wife was quite enjoyable, even if I was in the cage. She said she could fill it vibrating just a little while we were in the middle of it, but not enough for it to make a difference in her enjoyment. But hopefully she’ll be OK with me using it going forward when we are doing this.

I was wearing the Hush 2 primarily because the other thing I wanted to do yesterday was use the new Sex Machine I also recently picked up from Lovense. My goal (or at least my hope) was that I could get a hands-free orgasm just from that. I was already quite turned on because of the love-making session with the wife, so I had high hopes. 2 things kind of went wrong.

1. I was having a little too much pain in my cage. I have to use a waterproof bandaid on the vice ring to keep it from hurting too much, and the bandaid had gotten too wet and slipped to the side. That ring bothers me too much when it’s uncovered, so I had to take it off.
2. The sex machine experience was amazing, but I think I had the stoke depth set too high. Every time I took a break (I was controlling it, not the wife) I would end up getting rammed too hard when I first started it back.

I never got the machine to its highest speed setting, and didn’t experience the anal orgasm. But it was still quite enjoyable, and I can’t wait until I can get to play with it again! The wife doesn’t mind me playing like. Heck, she doesn’t even mind me masterbating really. (She really dislikes me looking at porn to do it, which is why having the toys helps so much. I can easily orgasm with those without looking at porn.). I will say that teh machine pounded me much more than my wife has when she used a strapon on me, and I think my ass needs something in-between! Feeling a little “urgency” to use the restroom for several hours afterwards is not as much fun as when you are being fucked!

Speaking of porn, I recently got an Oculus 2 headset, and have discovered 3D porn. I was looking at some the other day (while I was in chastity and couldn’t do much about it) and now that I’ve discovered it I’ll have to be strong to avoid going back. I know it’s not what my wife would want me to do.

So 10 days of on & off caging, and I hope to be back on a cage full time in the next few days. Once I know I can wear it for several days without a problem I’ll once again hand over the primary key to the wife and let the chastity truly be enforced. That’s when it starts getting more exciting!

 

I’m now at 24 hours locked in the vice, which is a much more comfortable cage for me. Haven’t handed the keys to the Wife/KH yet, but I suspect that will come by the end of the week. Speaking with her last week she seemed game to play again. The biggest issue I’ve had in the past is that sometimes I’m not as sensitive as I should be to what she’s got going on when I ask her to hold the keys. Asking her a few days before she’s about to go visit her mom (which is always stressful for her) has been a bad idea on my part more than once!

It’s been interesting reading some of the other active journals right now. Everyone’s experience in chastity is a little different of course, but some things I’ve read that others have experienced just don’t ring true to my experience. I thought I’d write out a few of those this afternoon, as i’m under the weather and don’t feel like working right now!

1. Chastity has not made me someone else. It hasn’t changed my personality, or made me more submissive. As Tom Allen says, it’s just a sex toy. As such it isn’t rewiring my mind! And when I read how others have become “more loving” towards their spouse because of the chastity, that worries me. While it will make you more frisky, I can’t imagine it ever solving long-standing issues in a relationship. Open communication will, and sometimes counseling as well.
2. If you think that chastity will force you to be a better partner (doing more chores around the house, more attentive to your spouse, less porn/masterbation, etc.) what stops you from changing that way without chastity? You can do that today without chastity, and your spouse will love you for it. Chastity isn’t magic, it’s a fun sex toy.
3. I’m still amazed at how many of us on here are empty nesters. I just had one bounce back, but we (and him) see this as being a time-limited thing with him staying with us. Although I started experimenting with chastity when I did have kids at home, I never did a succesful long term (weeks/months) stint before they left to college.

Last notes: last night was a bad one for me, but because i have caught the crud and couldn’t go to sleep for hours. That early morning boner isn’t nearly as much a problem if you only get 3-4 hours of sleep! I couldn’t use my CPAP because of trouble breathing either. I haven’t tested to see if its COVID or not, and may check later today since that might make a difference in my holiday visiting plans. But having the fever has helped my testes hand a little lower and no pain with them trying to ride up against the ring right now! Always look on the bright side I guess . . . .

 

Update: It's COVID, not just the Crud. Apparently no sexy time with the wife now for several days!

 

Timing can be a funny thing. I’m now 48 hours locked without a problem, and the plan was to take it off tomorrow morning, give myself a good cleaning, replace the waterproof bandaide on the hinge of the vice, and then give the keys to my wife to start the “real” chastity instead of just me locking myself up.

Instead, I get a text from my wife from work this afternoon that she’s feeling like crap, comes home, and she’s got a fever to boot. (She tested negative for COVID yesterday before the symptoms started, but since I’m COVID positive and got sick before her, we suspect she’s got it too.). Add to that the fact that she’s on her period, and I suspect that now is the exact wrong time to try and get her interested in it! She expressed some interest a few days ago when I first brought it up, but now I suspect I’d be better off waiting several days until she’s over what she’s dealing with before I ask her to hold the keys. I wasn’t always that smart, so we’ll see if it goes better this time by waiting.

On the plus side I’m not noticing any significant issues with the device at this point. I suspect that the base ring is a little too loose, but with my anatomy I don’t think I’ll ever make it “escape proof” unless I get a piercing, and at age 53 (and without any piercings or tattoos) I’m not sure I’m ready to go get one just for this purpose! At least not in the near term, unless my wife really turns a corner on being a KH and asks me to get one. I give that about a 0.1% chance of ever happening!

At least the COVID isn’t hitting me as hard as it’s hit some, so I’m thankful for that. Hopefully my wife will get over hers just a quickly so I can give her the key for “safe keeping.”

 

Just a small update for today. The wife does indeed have COVID just like me, but it's remarkably mild for both of us thankfully. And since the wife was in a good mood this afternoon, I went ahead and asked her to hold the keys. So she now has them, and boy doesn't the device feel just a little different on you when you don't have possession of the keys anymore!

She doesn't care if I come out of it everyday for cleaning, but I figure (with the vice) I probably need to take it off for cleaning at least a couple times a week. (I'd rather not have to ask her for the keys every day to unlock, but with the polar vortex cold wave coming I do worry I'll have the burning in the scrotum because of the balls riding up some in the next few days and sometimes just letting them out of the ring for a minute makes a huge difference!)

We have no contract, and no rules we've really discussed about her holding the keys this time. We did a contract last year, and she didn't like that as that took away a lot of her agency. I didn't even bring it up this time. She knows I want to focus on her orgasms, and I guess we'll see what I get. And we'll see how often she says "no" to me, since I think that's one of the hottest things a KH can do.

I hope this goes a while this time. I don't plan on keeping great track of dates, since that puts the focus on me. I'm just excited that we're starting again!

 

So I gave the key to the wife two days ago, and I had a 45 minute (or so) period yesterday morning where my head was in a really weird space where it settled in that "I don't have control anymore." It was weird and exhilarating! I went about 48 hours locked up, but she let me out this morning for a bit. (Primarily because the burning pain of the balls trying to retract was a bit more than I could deal with.). Looking at my skin I have an area where it looks like I'm at risk of the skin macerating too much, so now I need to be out of it for a day or two to let the skin heal up some. (It's red and almost broken open, and it's in the same weird spot where it's happened before. It's like at the 11 o'clock position of where the ring sits.). I've had to stop before because of the skin issue in the exact same place. It's weird that it gets there. I don't have perfectly symmetric anatomy, which probably leads to this a little more.

I've also got a slightly larger ring coming in for my metal cage, so I might just wait until that comes in and see if that leads to less issues than the vice does.

The covid isn't getting us too bad, but still it sucks being stuck home for the holidays, with my adult son also staying with us (keeping us from getting too kinky) and nothing else to do! I guess I'll binge watch TV while waiting for the skin to heal. Happy Holidays!

 

My sore spot on the scrotum from wearing the vice for just a few days finally healed, and the slightly larger hinged metal ring showed up for my new device from amazon. So after several days of freedom I’m back in a device, and the metal ones sure feel more “real” at times. This is the third metal device I’ve picked up. The first one had a hinged base but the “slots” around the tip of the shaft were too big which made it trivial for me to push myself back out of it. The second one had a solid ring but I could just barely get the balls through it but I could still easily pull myself out (I’m a grower). This one has a hinged ring so it can be a little tighter around the balls but has smaller slots for me to try and escape with. SO we’ll see how it goes.

I was curious how it would feel when I’m at the most turned on, so I used a magic wand to bring myself to orgasm in it. Remarkably comfortable for it being metal. I also went on a couple mile walk in the cold (40 degree cold, not the single digits we had this last week) and that was OK as well. Tonight I’ll sleep in it and if it’s OK I’ll hand the keys (once again) over to the wife to hold. There is a level of excitement I get from that for sure. Sure gave no argument to letting me have the keys back this last time when I had a sore spot, as I really noticed it when I was out for cleaning and she’s not “that” into it that she asks for me to get back in. (I wish she were at times, but it is what it is.). So once I hand the keys over for this metal device that seems like it will need to come off less often she’ll enforce it more. I’ve told her one of the sexiest things she can do it tell me no, but she doesn’t live that right now. But that fact she humors me at all I’m quite thankful for.