Sexually Getting What I Need

First of all I should say hello to everyone here. I have been a long time lurker, but felt it was time to actually give back something to the place that has been so helpful to me. Chastity Mansion has been invaluable in helping me keep a proper perspective, and help reign in my fantasy world when it begins to get out of hand.

As the title above suggests, my girlfriend of 30 years, wife of 22 years, and Mistress of 4 years and I have finally, I believe, hit on a formula for maximizing my unquestioned obiedience to her at all times. Each month my Mistress has 20 sexually active days, and 10 PMS/Period days. During the 10 day period, I am required to wear my birdcage to share with her HER discomfort. Unlike most subs on here perhaps, I hate wearing it, but love wearing it for her. At the end of the 10 days I am released. The next 20 days is really what I am writing about. (sorry for the long intro)

I should say that turning into a full fledged submissive has made intercourse with my Mistress mostly undesireable, as I prefer to satisfy her orally. Something about penitrating her and satifying her that way rubs me the wrong way unless it is obvious to both of us I have earned it. Mostly though I feel as I have betrayed her afterwards, until I see her smile at me. We have busy schedules and kids, so planning sex is virtually always required. Given that, each Tuesday during the 20 day period I am required to service my Mistress with intercourse EXACTLY how she instructs me to. ANY deviation from that, and I am punished with the cage, or worse yet what is to follow. About the only thing I get out of Tuesdays, is that it pleases Mistress immensly to orgasm with me. We have been together a very long time, and it is a source of comfort and relase for her. Saturday's during the 20 days is where I am getting the things I need to be a better servant for her.

Usually there are 2 saturdays. The first she uses to reward me and give recognition to the special things I may have done. If I have not done anything significant I am permitted to orally satisfy her while she enjoys her vibrators and large dildos, (she has become quite a size queen), but am not permitted to enter her. I always wish to be allowed a turn on these Saturdays. I may be a total sub anymore, but I am still a man, and after a month of waiting, I just want to. Since it shows me I have been well behaved if I am permitted, it feels good for everyone. This is the one exception where intercourse with her still feels wonderful. If I am not permitted, I know that I have not distinguished myself. I am forced to live with that knoweledge and the anguish of nothing special. If I have been behaving badly, I am locked in my cage during all that. This of course is quite motivating for me to be the servant she wishes to have, and to do the little extras that make her happy. It is on these saturdays that I may be permitted to orgasm. I was last permitted on on March 10, 2012 after really distinguishing myself the previous Saturday. That is, of course, not that long a time, but my orgasm before that was November 19, 2011. In my opinion a mercy release for my birthday.

The second saturday is about her making sure I remember who is in charge. Mistress wears her FULL Mistress outfit. (PVC Corset, Skirt, Thigh Boots, Opera Gloves) She makes her self look like something out of every submissive's deepest fantasy. She loves knowing she is the embodyment of my deepest fantasies, but keeps herself from me as forbidden fruit. I, on the other hand, am required to wear Mike's Spikes. Most times I am forced to just watch Mistress as she enjoys her toys after orally getting her ready for about 5-10 minutes. These sessions can go for HOURS! Forcing me to discipline myself from getting too excited or touching myself. IF I have behaved myself, I am given the option of being locked in my cage instead of Mike's Spkies, and maybe permitted to orally pleasure her for more time. On that saturday, that is the best I can hope for. Also, after she is satisfied, I am locked in my cage until Sunday night. No exceptions.

All of this has made sex for me quite undesirable yet I long for it at the same time, which is honestly how i need it to be. These double edged swords is where i find my happiness. It also has turned Mistress into an insatiable sexual goddess, not that that was a long trip, but she is so much more comfortable and at ease. We have tried 100's of things over the last few years, and when i finally left everything to Mistress, she found the formula for us.

I hope that was thought provoking for some, and I welcome any suggestions or tweaks anyone has to offer. We love to experiment and hone this part of our relationship together.

Thanks for listening.

 

Thank you Mistress Watchful for taking the time to respond to my attempt at an intersting post. I was so happy to see such a possitve response coming from someone such as yourself. As many in Female Led relationships, we have endured a lot of bumbling around and wondering if we are making mistakes or in some way sabotaging ourselves. The one thing I have learned in 4 years is that Mistress always has the right answer for everything. And if i do all I can to help in the realization of her vision, things become heaven on earth. It is amazing what a hard lesson that was to learn for someone such as myself. To say I use to be over bearing and manipulative would be a gross understatement. But it never brought my any peace or contentment. As my name implies, I think I have found out what does.

Anyway, I am currently locked in my cage, and will be until Saturday the 31st. My 10 days of torment jsut beginning yesterday. EVERY time Mistress locks me for these periods she says the same type of thing. "Now be sure to be a good boy so I will be able to let you out to play" There isn't much that instills more fear and dread in me then those little comments. So I am, as you might guess, on my super extra special good behavior. She informed me last night that she wants our bedroom "spring cleaned", and that she will keep me company by relaxing on the futon we have in the room, watching TV or working on whatever. She will be expecting some delicious but simple snacks and her beverage glass to always have something in it. After that she would enjoy the chicken stew that i make so well for dinner. Then Sunday I will accompany her to her color & cut hair appointment that I have previously made for her. She informed me if she was not satisfied with my work on Saturday, or my attitude, I would be required to sit with her while she is getting her hair done AND be charming and pleasent with her Hair dresser so that she might be "entertained" while she worked. I have endured this twice before, and it is VERY humiliating. A double edge sward for me to be sure. However, if I do a good job, I will be permitted to wander the mall until she calls me. Needless to say, i will be a very busy and happy little bitch tomorrow! ^_^