The Trait

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Rachel Cash, Oct 17, 2014.

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  1. Rachel Cash
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    Rachel Cash
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    #1 Rachel Cash, Oct 17, 2014
    So I've spent my fair share of time on both sides of the cage. I'm now sure that I'm most definitely a switch, with my dominant side leaning more towards chastity play as well. My question to you other ladies, What is the most important trait for a Domme to have for Keyholding?

    My last sub I had I sort of used the Pavlov's Dog theory. I made them associate orgasms with me. I played mind games to the point where I had this person convinced I knew everything about what makes their sexuality ticked when I in fact just conditioned the responses. It was a tad bit dangerous looking abck, but hey, I'm young, I make mistakes.

    Also a question for you sub's, What is your favorite trait in a Domme/Mistress? I enjoy it When people know what they want, and they take it. I know that's vague, but people who beat around the bush and don't know exactly what to do are boring to me.

    Toodles,

    Rachel
     
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  2. MsT'sSlave
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    MsT'sSlave Active member

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    #2 MsT'sSlave, Oct 18, 2014
    My favorite trait is Her strictness with me.
     
  3. coffee2sugars
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    coffee2sugars Long term member

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    #3 coffee2sugars, Oct 18, 2014
    I like to her in control and use me at her pleasure but I like the the security of knowing that she is intune with my feelings and takes care to treat me right.

    Confident, assertive but caring.
     
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  4. MissCharlotte
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    MissCharlotte Active member

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    #4 MissCharlotte, Oct 18, 2014
    I think the most important quality in a Dom or sub is to be a good communicator, whether that be talking or writing to each other, particularly in the beginning. No d/s relationship is the same. I hear about too many relationships d/s or other where one person gets really angry because he/she isn't making them happy. I am honest with my sub and often start requests with "It would make me happy if you..." It makes him happy to make me happy.

    To sum up - communication.

    Hope you're going well after our chat, Rachel. xx
     
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  5. Rachel Cash
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    Rachel Cash
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    #5 Rachel Cash, Oct 18, 2014
    Thank you for that lovely piece of information and I'm doing okay. Better than I have been in a long time.
     
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  6. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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    #6 Mistress B, Oct 19, 2014
    @Rachel Cash I assume you are dealing with online control. Much more difficult because the main trait of a Mistress must be to know their subbie inside and out.
     
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  7. Rachel Cash
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    Rachel Cash
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    #7 Rachel Cash, Oct 19, 2014
    Mostly yes, I was camming with my sub quite a bit and we talked everyday. I consider her a sister now that we're no longer in D/s dynamic. I feel I know her pretty well. I know it would be much easier in person, but I work with what I have :).
     
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  8. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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    #8 Mistress B, Oct 19, 2014
    Yes, you can only find out so much.
     
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  9. Rachel Cash
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    Rachel Cash
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    #9 Rachel Cash, Oct 19, 2014
    Also in person, I'm much more of a submissive....I think....
     
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  10. BlueEyes
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    BlueEyes The lifestyle pumps in my veins...
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    #10 BlueEyes, Oct 19, 2014
    When I came to think of it , Being a real-life sub makes for an excellent online Domme. You know better than most Dommes - a lot of submissive fantasies and turn-ons, and what fertilizes a submissive mindset. So If Uou have it within - to utilize this knowledge and those submissive feelings, and turn them around, and use them in Your online Domme universe, I think You could be top of the class..,
    Just an observation, sorry:)

    And to be back on track: My favorite trait is when I understand that she is feeling no guilt at all, holding me in permanent denial, teasing me and demanding impeccable pampering, and every single house chore done with the highest standards...
     
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  11. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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    #11 Mistress B, Oct 19, 2014
    BlueEyes is quite correct in saying that a Domme will gain much knowledge in experiencing both sides of the fence. ;)
     
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  12. Mascara^Snake
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    Mascara^Snake Banned

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    #12 Mascara^Snake, Oct 19, 2014
    I'm not about to go climbing over any fences!
     
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  13. MistressL
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    MistressL I'm through

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    #13 MistressL, Oct 20, 2014
    image.jpg Listen to him, then do as you please.
    A sweet kiss on the forehead, a symbol of trust.
     
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  14. Rachel Cash
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    Rachel Cash
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    #14 Rachel Cash, Oct 20, 2014
    That actually made me spray tea out of my nose. Lol
     
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  15. BlueEyes
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    BlueEyes The lifestyle pumps in my veins...
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    #15 BlueEyes, Oct 20, 2014
    Not even if it would gain you even more control of the subs mindset, and allowing You to be even more Yourself, without any complaints?
    You would like that wouldn't You?;-) LOL!
     
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  16. Mascara^Snake
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    Mascara^Snake Banned

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    #16 Mascara^Snake, Oct 20, 2014
    Well it might surprise you to know that I have actually sampled the other side.
     
  17. maid_carrie
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    maid_carrie
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    #17 maid_carrie, Oct 20, 2014
    Nothing is a surprise - I seem to recall you being dragged through a hedge backwards. Not dissimilar to climbing over hedges?
     
  18. solost
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    #18 solost, Oct 20, 2014
    My Mrs. is pretty comfy in the middle of the hedge, and as dominant as she is socially, she has confessed to liking the idea of being overpowered by a strong confident James Bond type. I have tried on occasion to "switch" and go all cave man on her but she just laughs and tells me I'm not so convincing. I can't help it... I'd just rather be giving her a pedicure o_O
     
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  19. Rachel Cash
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    Rachel Cash
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    #19 Rachel Cash, Oct 20, 2014
    Ironically, I think my mom is an ex-dominatrix or something. The corset I have in my pics is...technically hers, her toy box is bigger than mine...and when I was young strange men would show up and leave and always Yes Ma'am her 0_o. Am I really just now putting this puzzle together.
     
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  20. BlueEyes
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    BlueEyes The lifestyle pumps in my veins...
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    #20 BlueEyes, Oct 20, 2014
    Ohh, nice! . and yes that is indeed a surprise - a pleasant one! Was it a pleasant experience, or did it not do You any good? Sorry for being so curious, but I really find it fascinating. I can not imagine my wife would ever try that, and I am equally unsure if I could make a switch to facilitate her. LOL! It is not a fantasy of mine. It once was, but it seems to have vanished.... ;-)

    But I stand by my initial thought - that it MUST make you an even better Domme, to taste some mind-blowing denial and submissiveness...
     
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  21. BlueEyes
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    BlueEyes The lifestyle pumps in my veins...
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    #21 BlueEyes, Oct 20, 2014
    ... Please Amanda if you wanted to let me know what happened via a PM, that would be a fine gesture. :)
     
  22. Mascara^Snake
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    #22 Mascara^Snake, Oct 20, 2014
    You are so cheeky Blue Eyes. I may just do that.
     
  23. maid_carrie
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    maid_carrie
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    #23 maid_carrie, Oct 20, 2014
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2014
    Errrm - is this not derailing the thread somewhat?
     
  24. Mascara^Snake
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    #24 Mascara^Snake, Oct 20, 2014
    I think that's for the original poster to decide.
    The only change of topic I have witnessed is your last posting.
     
  25. maid_carrie
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    #25 maid_carrie, Oct 20, 2014
    Like this you mean? Sorry Rachel :)
     
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