After years of a unofficial flr I tried to introduce my wife to femdom , It was difficult for her to understand . time went buy and little by little she began to enjoy it . we tried lots of things for over the next few years until a pap smear showed cancer,surgery was necessary and a full hysterectomy took every bit of sex drive away. She obliged my pain kink but piv was not possible.as many here i stumbled on to chastity in 2019 (locktober) i suggested it and she was all for it but was still interested in ball busting ,being my favorite . We got a cheap one online and played a bit before the time came for the month long lock up . Time came and it went well as far as fit and as frustrated as i was i was semi hard the whole time and dripping pre cum . the test was a positive for us both , she found joy in teasing me ,i loved - hated the pain . Then all hell broke loose,Cancer , ugly incurable devastating . i went from servant to care taker ,nurse to basket case . The woman i loved was dieing a cruel and relentless death and i couldn't fix it ,stop it . February 2020 i watched her pass and then nothing absolutely nothing an absolute vacuum , half of me died . we were together so long i hadn't been aware how powerful she was in my life . my intention here was to do locktober once more for her . don't have any plans after that , i know people are out here with interest in my kinks but there are 1000 to one money dommes to honest loving ladies,and i am no catch ,bad health money is gone so all I can think to do i one more time for her
I hope you find some solace in Locktober but what a terrible time you have had. If it ’s any consolation I lost my first wife too and although it is a cliche time does help come to terms with the loss. Luckily after some time I was fortunate to find a loving new relationship / wife. Good luck in your journey,
I am sure you will find nothing but positive support here in the CM community. Dont ever hesitate to reach out in time of emotional need