Beginning the Journey

[DCHubby]

My wife continues to amaze me. Today we had the chance to go shopping without the kids - and my wife loved getting a new wardrobe. She then told me to go and find some clothes while she tried on the stuff she picked out for herself - as we were in the women's section I think I knew what she meant. She laughed out loud when she saw the 3 pairs of panties - but quickly took a very keen interest and said the pink ones were her favorites and insisted I pay for them.

Following this, she then started pointing out other clothes and started talking about the sizes I should probably look for and what would look best. I have a feeling we may be doing some more shopping in the near future!

We also had a good chat - I think my wife still feels guilty if she is given pleasure and I get nothing in return and this sometimes stops her wanting her pleasure as she does not want to reciprocate. We chatted about this and I told her that I get immense pleasure from making her orgasm and don't expect anything in return. Still not sure she really understands this.

She still says some things are weird (such as chastity, etc) but I know my wife well enough to know that she is actually into this and loves the control element. Boy did she laugh when I modeled the new underwear for her - especially as she insisted I had to wear pink.

The journey we are on is incredible - and I cannot believe that a degree of feminization is creeping in!

What a journey and I know I love my wife more with each passing day!

 

[DCHubby]

Welcome back the Mansion - I missed you!

Things continue to evolve in our household and looking back 6 months we have moved on a long, long way even though at times it feels like not much has changed.

Recently ended up the longest stint in the HT v2 (continuous) of 4 weeks and the feeling of release when my wife allowed me to come was quite incredible. Had to spend a week out of the device as too much cycling had caused some irritation and it sure felt weird and, quite honestly, did not feel right. As soon as I was able to get back into the device I felt so much better and immediately became more submissive to my wife - who had commented that I was becoming more argumentative and less disciplined. Being back in chastity soon resolved that.

It has now been nearly 3.5 weeks since the last release and I am in a constant state of horniness - my wife is constantly on my mind and she is right up on a pedestal. There is nothing more I want to do than to please my wife and my adoration for her is up in the stratosphere.

In some ways I am not looking forward to when she grants me release - it almost seems like an anti-climax after all the build-up!

During my bratty phase a couple of weeks ago I thought I had blown it - we had a bit of a blow up and my wife lashed out (verbally) thinking that I was saying she was doing a crap job. With our new communicative relationship thankfully things settled down within a day or so and I have been trying to make it up to her ever since.

Part of the issue was that I complained she wouldn't let me pleasure her enough as she deserved to be given as ,much pleasure as possible. She quite rightly pointed out that actually this was what I wanted not what she wanted - as ever, the 'be careful what you wish for' springs to mind.

Having said that I would not swap these feelings of extreme frustration and horniness and adoration for anything........

 

[CagedAnimal2]

Great journal of your voyage! Thanks for sharing it here!

 

[DCHubby]

So life carries on and the new normal is not the same as the old normal!

The whole chastity experience has become part of day to day life. My wife has really taken control (but not in a mean, nasty Mistress way!) and, I think (actually know, or the whole journey would have ended by now), is enjoying herself.

Her orgasm to mine ratio is about 4:1 - however she enjoys PIV sex and that is both great and challenging......being locked for weeks make staying power become somewhat limited! She really is an incredible woman. By the end of week 2 I am a quivering wreck and as horny as hell.

These days being out of the HT v2 seems wrong and I feel far more relaxed when locked - no idea why but just seems to be the case.

At the start it was all about 'me me me' - over time this has changed and my wife has the final say in most things (or, as she puts it, she's always been in charge it's just that she is now more open about it!!).

It is now at the stage where I am literally begging for some sexual contact - she finds this very amusing. I have told her there are times when I feel ignored and crave some form of contact. She just smiles and says she is very happy and does not feel neglected or under appreciated!!!

Then there are the times when she continues to amaze me - like the other night when we were both in the bathroom getting ready for bed and she gave me a couple of really hard swats to my butt. Totally unexpected but it reduced me to a quivering wreck - and that amused her greatly.

This journey has been the best thing that has happened to us and I am truly grateful to my wife.

 

[Quercus Jay]

Sounds brilliant! Our new normal sounds very similar to yours, and I have to 100% agree with you about feeling happier locked in my HTv2 than released. Like you I don't really understand it but I also have completely stopped worrying about it. Hopefully you have too, the calmer I have got the better this journey has got.

 

[Caged Wolf]

I still feel uncomfortable being unlocked, but Mistress Wolf is not approving another device right now.

 

[DCHubby]

Spot on Jasmic - I was out of the HT for a couple of days due to long bike rides and I felt completely different from when locked up. I asked to be locked back up and suddenly felt so much calmer and at peace. Sure that sounds weird - I am sure it is all part of the mental side of things: almost like being resigned to any release being totally under the control of my wife as opposed to temptation at hand (so to speak) when unlocked.

The whole journey has been quite a ride so far: in many respects starting off this journey was a way to get some kink and hopefully some hot sex. Over time it has morphed into something very different but it feels very right and seeing the contented look on my wifes face is all that I need.

 

[DCHubby]

My wonderful wife continues to amaze and astound me. Truly she is incredible.

Friday she wanted some fun and really took control of ensuing events - ensuring she was well pleasured but insisting on PIV as well. Needless to say that did not last long after 3 weeks with no stimulation but long enough for her to come again. Any recommendations on a numbing spray in the US?

Seeing the evolution of my wife has been a magical thing. She now, for no reason, will quite often give me a hard slap on the butt when she feels like it: this well and truly makes me feel so submissive towards her.

Today at the kids soccer game my wife had told me she wanted a Starbucks coffee but I thought she was joking. When I turned up empty handed she had a real go at me in front of our friends and so I sheepishly went off to get her a coffee. She later told me, with a big smile on her face, that our friends were amazed that I simply did as I was told and were really impressed as their husbands would have ignored them if they had had a similar conversation.

I have no doubts at all that my wife is glad that we have gone down this path and my admiration for her grows on a daily basis. Even the frustration of being denied and with little 'play time' is a turn on - never knowing whether she will want fun time or simply a massage keeps me on edge all the time.

 

[DCHubby]

Well, its safe to say that my wife is in full control now. She only has to give me "the look" and I know that I need to keep my mouth shut or that I am getting close to being too lippy/cocky.

Earlier this week she decided she wanted to be pleasured - and she fully controlled how she was pleasured. Her confidence in this regard has grown beyond belief and hopefully she is starting to feel comfortable that it is really about her. After a couple of orgasms she decided to rub against me - I thought my HT would split in half and she found this very amusing and, incredibly, I felt close to coming in the HT despite not being able to get a full erection. Just as I was fast approaching the point of no return she rolled away, laughed and said that was it for the night. I then spent the rest of the night horny and frustrated: and loving it!

Feeling submissive I then wore my nice underwear to work as this heightens my sense of submissiveness to my wife. My wife says this doesn't really do anything for her but does not mind as it it just another way to control me and make sure I obey her.

I am still in awe as to how my wife has taken to being in control and to how far we have traveled on this journey.

 

[Tombow]

Thank you for this thorough and very interesting journal! It is very instructive and well written!

 

[DCHubby]

Long time, no posting.

Real life got in the way of this adventure a few weeks ago and chastity fell by the wayside for a few weeks. Reading online it would seem this is not uncommon.

Suffice to say being unlocked left me open to temptation and I could feel I was being far less attentive to my wife's needs. I was waiting for her to bring the subject up but should have realized she would not even if it was on her mind!

I self locked, went on a business trip and emailed her baring my soul.

On my return we had some chats and I could see she was happy with me being back in chastity and what was in my email. When she is truly happy she smiles with her eyes and this was one such case.

It has now been nearly 3 weeks since any form of release. My wife does not want me going on all the time about the lifestyle but we have a kind of informal arrangement where she will tolerate me asking 2 or 3 questions at the weekend.

It was clear this weekend that she saw my devotion slipping and has seen a much better attitude since being locked back up. She also seems to be struggling to understand that it is all about her - and that giving her pleasure is not a prelude to me getting a release. I told her that pleasuring her is so hot that it does not matter if I get any release....it is like a drug. When she said that I will beg her for release and get all worked up I let her know it was both heaven and hell to be denied aND I think the penny dropped for her.

After this great conversation she had no hesitation last night in getting pleasured orally with no suggestion of any release. She gave me a quick hug and told me to stop pleading, rolled over and went to sleep.

It took me a long time to get to sleep as I was as horny as hell and today I am even hornier! Just thinking about my wife has me straining the ht v2.

fully expecting more bumps in the road but this is a lifestyle that is well worth persevering with.

 

[Quercus Jay]

I totally agree with that last sentence.

 

[DCHubby]

Thought it was time to post again. Summer was exceptionally busy and the whole chastity thing fell by the wayside for a couple of months as, once again, real life got in the way.

My wife, and me for that matter, noticed the differences in my attitude and behavior out of chastity and so, fast forward another month in chastity and we'll see where we go this time around.

For sure, even out of chastity my wife was in control but I was not as attentive and caring as I should have been. My wife is certainly in control again and she has made it quite clear that it is up to her as and when I can pleasure her or get any release. And nothing much has happened for 4 weeks now - with busy schedules and life....it's still really hard as I would love to pleasure my wife most days and giving her a massage before lights out most nights gets me worked up.

She is now very confident saying enough and knows the slightest little touch or verbal teasing sends me into a tailspin. She is also quite clear that she prefers me in chastity as it means I treat her far better (which I am frustrated about as it should not need chastity for me to treat her right). She has also read the Georgia Ivey book and relaizes it really is up to her no matter how much I pester or plead!

We'll see where we go this time around................

 

[DCHubby]

Now up to about 6 weeks without any release and no end in sight right now. As time has progressed it has gotten to the stage where, to be honest, I am quite happy to have no release as the sexual intensity and desire over a long period of time is quite mind blowing as opposed to a quick release and then attitude adjustment for a number of days.

Really trying hard not to top from the bottom with my wife and to just accept that things will happen when she wants them to happen. I'd be delighted to be pleasuring her every day but if that is not what she wants so be it.

My wife has never been very communicative - but having been married over 20 years I can tell when she is happy (or not). I have communicated that simply providing massages most nights really gets me into a submissive mindset. Obviously I would be very happy for things to progress beyond a simple massage but I am slowly learning that this is down to her to decide, not me.

Earlier this week I was allowed to orally pleasure my wife and I was in heaven. I really thought the HT v2 was going to rip my gear off as I was straining to escape so hard. It is difficult to explain but feeling my wife's reactions, feeling her come really hard when playing with her bottom and generally just everything about the experience had me over the moon and feeling as horny as hell afterwards. Of course she thanked me, rolled over and went to sleep which took me well over an hour to calm down before I could even consider sleep.

 

[Nicoftime]

You are a much stronger person than I. I don't think I could handle not being teased, acknowledged, or allowed to please her.

It doesn't have to be a full on huge sex tease session, a whisper in my ear would do. I'm not a needy puppy but I do need to be petted once in awhile.

Reading your posts have made me sooo appreciative that we have a "rule" that I orally service her(front and back door) either at bedtime or in the morning. It makes me crazy riled up but love making her cum.

Thanks for sharing I enjoyed reading

 

[DCHubby]

Don't get me wrong Nicotime - I am not ignored all the time. My wife is frequently tired due to running teenage kids everywhere, getting up at 545 each morning to get the kids ready to leave at 620 and having just gone through the menopause.

On a daily basis she will tease - whether that is verbally or a quick swat/grab.

Would I like more? Of course, but then I think most men would! I feel much closer to my wife and enjoy the constant sexual frustration/horniness in a way that 15-20 minutes of PIV could never provide. I am also allowed to massage her most nights which allows me to maintain a closeness.

In the past I would be pestering her for more but that actually had the opposite effect. Now, it is more accepting her wants and desires (or even lack of!) and enjoying what we have.

So much stuff written about FLR is such a load of old cobblers. There are so many fantasists out there that can easily set an unrealistic expectation of what the lifestyle can/should be about. Each relationship and everyone is different - I feel very lucky to have my wife and to have her involved in this lifestyle. Many partners would be horrified/want nothing to do with it.

 

[Nicoftime]

I am glad you are happy! Yes it's definitely not all whips and leather outfits, most of the time it's playful looks and smart comments meant for no one else but me.

We have our evenings of adventure, but they are not every night, and certainly not up to me when that night is.

It certainly nice hearing how other couples travel their routes to similar destinations.

 

[DCHubby]

Well, pretty much absolutely nothing to write about of any note in the last week. This whole journey has so many ups and downs it feels like a right roller coaster of a ride at times. Apparently while asleep I was really mean to my wife this week ( I have no recollection) and it took 3 days to get out of her what was up. She really was not happy!

Right now, I am loving having the extra energy from denial and getting a ton of stuff done. What I really am quite down about is that my wife has had no interest in any types of activity this last week. I have told her that it is not just the sexual side of things (or lack of) I am struggling with it is just the general feeling of being ignored in general. The temptation to find the key, unlock and take care of things myself has been very strong this week - thankfully I have not taken that option or I may as well give up this whole journey.

My wife has never really been a touch feely person - she is probably more male in that regards than myself - and having recently gone through the menopause this seems to have completely killed her libido.

When I discuss things with her, the general response is 'tough, be careful what you wish for' - hopefully things will improve over the coming days.

 

[DCHubby]

Decent end to a pretty crappy week! The election result here was a shock (not a pleasant one) and then one of our cats was run over and killed.

My wife has been receiving plenty of massages this week but suddenly, after 4 months, perhaps the menopasue was not over after all. Plenty of cuddles and this morning my wife wanted to see a ruined orgasm.

After nearly 8 weeks with no relief she told me to unlock and show her how this worked. Cue plenty of teasing and a few well timed slaps to the balls and I was harder than a rock. After no more than 3-4 minutes the time was there and my wife laughed quite loudly when she saw what happened and the obvious recognition that there was no relief in having an orgasm this way! Just a twitching and a dribble and then that was it.

For me, what was incredibly powerful and a turn on was seeing the look on my wifes face - I could see she was turned on: probably more from the power and control than the actual act itself.

The whole chastity lifestyle is obviously having an effect. Wehn the device is removed for long distance endurance cycling rides I do not get hard at all and have no desire to masturbate. As soon as I am close to my wife and the device comes off I am as hard as a rock.

While I now recognize that we will never have a 'heavy duty' BDSM relationship (perhaps the fantasy of this is more exciting than if we were living that way for real) but my wife is certainly in control and keen, occasionally, to try new things. She is such a strong character that I think if I turned into a 'yes man' and needed to be told what to do all the time this would make her quickly walk away and lose respect.

Continues to be a roller coaster ride and fascinating experience - particularly the rewiring of emotions/sexual excitement.

 

[Quercus Jay]

It is really good to read of another couple going through similar experiences to me and my Wife. In fact with you, @LQsLady and @Steve-0 and a few others there is a lot of good stuff to read at the Mansion these days, and long may it continue.

 

[DCHubby]

Thanks Jasmic - your journal has helped me enormously and been an inspiration. Porn kind of sets an unrealistic expectation of what an FLR looks like - the reality very rarely (I assume) can meet that fantasy. But boy the reality can be so much better than the fantasy when you have a truly loving relationship with your partner before engaging on this lifestyle.

My wife now finds I am actually useful - normally looking to do things for her, putting her first, etc. We both recognize there is still an issue of me sulking when I am not allowed to pleasure her or feel neglected. I have suggested discipline as chastity has cured me of so many bad habits - she, rightly!, said that I enjoy that so she is not sure how well that 'rewiring' would work!

 

[LadyS]

But boy the reality can be so much better than the fantasy when you have a truly loving relationship with your partner before engaging on this lifestyle.

I think I said almost the exsact same thing in my post today.

 

[Quercus Jay]

My two favorite phrases I have written in recent times are;

Having a fantasy is great. Living a fantasy is even better!

and...

This not having sex is the best sex I have ever had!

I can't imagine doing life in any other way now. I wouldn't mind having a few porn like experiences but you couldn't live like that all the time.

And I love the way you wrote about how your wife now finds you actually useful! It is almost laughable that most men don't get this simple fact. You want sex? Be useful you idiot! If she thinks you are useful and is happy with your efforts to be useful, she is way more likely to have sex with you!

 

[DCHubby]

As the journey continues, the evolution of this experience continues to amaze and confound!

Before chastity, any simmering resentment or little arguement could fester for days before the air was cleared. Now, any issues and conversations around it are resolved the same day in a calm, considered manner and this has surprised both myself and the wife. Communication is probably better than it has ever been.

In a similar vein, I now seem conditioned so that I only ever feel aroused when around my wife and am able to simply touch her bare skin. I no longer feel like masturbating and no interest in porn at all. For me now, my wife is the true focus of all my love and attention.

Just this morning, after a long period of denial, my wife decided she wanted to play. SHe asked if I wanted to be unlocked and I surprised myself by saying it was up to her and I would not be upset if she simply wanted me to pleasure her. She then told me to unlock. The slightest touch from my wife had me moaning in pleasure and I quickly became a jibbering wreck and it felt like very nerve ending in my body was on fire.

She wanted PIV sex this morning and was quite insistent on this - now she is in charge how could I possibly turn that down?!!! What amazed me is that after such a long period of denial i was able to contain my excitement and make sure this was all about her and not finish too early. When she did give me permission to come, it was quite the experience and felt incredible being that close to her.

 

[DCHubby]

A while since my last posting. Once again, real life intervenes with work trips, one of us taking kids on 3 day trips, etc.

We are now back for 2 weeks together and things are still good. While I am not locked up at the moment (HT V2 was starting to cause some chafing issues, drs checkups, etc) my wife is still in control.

We had a chat when she got back from the most recent time away - after suggesting to her that perhaps she was not as controlling as before life got in the way again, she regained her confidence. She is back to letting me know what she wants doing, and when and has that gleam in her eye knowing she can tell me what to do and expects me to just to get on and do it.

She is also getting back to being comfortable with the concept of having as much pleasure as she wants wthout the obligation to do anything in return. Listening to her come hard while being pleasured is such a turn on for me and then being left hanging is also so frustrating yet such a turn on at the same time. A quick slap to my nether regions is a clear indicator I should not expect anything else!

With real life it is difficult to keep things moving forward but is well worth the effort! Seeing the confidence in my wife grow is a thing of beauty and makes the whole journey worthwhile.