It goes back to what you can't have you want. You will be back there and you get there faster when locked up.
On your mark. Get Set. Go.
- Thread starter Mactastic
- Start date
I am preparing for my FLR trial period end meeting with my wife.
I was going to write a back story, but it’s already in the vault, listed under On your mark. Get Set. Go. If you would like to read it, It is a great story of how to get your very vanilla wife to participate in FLR and hopefully someday, willingly participate in chastity device use.
Now, on to the meeting info.
Our FLR is based mainly on information from www.aboutflr.com . This seems to be the most comprehensive FREE source of information I can find on the net. If you have a better/FREE source that is easily navigated then post it in your reply. We realize that this is a game that we are playing that it has benefitted our relationship and that we are two consenting adults.
I have tomes of info from the www.aboutflr.com website that I have organized into, “Things to discuss if she wants to go in depth” but I seriously doubt that we will be using any of this information right now.
At first I thought that I would recap what a FLR is with a definition and what kind of FLR we have based on how much control she wants. Then I would follow up with an outline of the rules and maybe produce a contract so that we both formally know what we are agreeing to.
Then I said out loud, to myself, “Hey dum dum, this is supposed to be fun.” That’s when I scrapped it all.
I tried to figure out how we could go over what we are doing in a way that she would enjoy the process. I came up with a series of questions we can discuss and compare our answers. Of course I will have all of the clinical answers from all of the tons of research that I have done. She will have answers that are personal, based on how she feels.
I will try to ask questions such as: How do you feel that your husband’s attitude has changed concerning you, your family, your home, money, free time, chores, life direction, and sex since starting a FLR?
How have you changed concerning the same?
I have two pages of these kinds of questions.
We will have a few midweek days together next week. At that same time I will have met one of my goals of not masturbating (only “O” with her) for one month. I want to know if her views of me looking at pornography and masturbating have changed in that time. I also want to know where she wants all of this to go and if she is enjoying it. I need to know if she is having fun. If she isn’t then we are doing it wrong.
I was going to write a back story, but it’s already in the vault, listed under On your mark. Get Set. Go. If you would like to read it, It is a great story of how to get your very vanilla wife to participate in FLR and hopefully someday, willingly participate in chastity device use.
Now, on to the meeting info.
Our FLR is based mainly on information from www.aboutflr.com . This seems to be the most comprehensive FREE source of information I can find on the net. If you have a better/FREE source that is easily navigated then post it in your reply. We realize that this is a game that we are playing that it has benefitted our relationship and that we are two consenting adults.
I have tomes of info from the www.aboutflr.com website that I have organized into, “Things to discuss if she wants to go in depth” but I seriously doubt that we will be using any of this information right now.
At first I thought that I would recap what a FLR is with a definition and what kind of FLR we have based on how much control she wants. Then I would follow up with an outline of the rules and maybe produce a contract so that we both formally know what we are agreeing to.
Then I said out loud, to myself, “Hey dum dum, this is supposed to be fun.” That’s when I scrapped it all.
I tried to figure out how we could go over what we are doing in a way that she would enjoy the process. I came up with a series of questions we can discuss and compare our answers. Of course I will have all of the clinical answers from all of the tons of research that I have done. She will have answers that are personal, based on how she feels.
I will try to ask questions such as: How do you feel that your husband’s attitude has changed concerning you, your family, your home, money, free time, chores, life direction, and sex since starting a FLR?
How have you changed concerning the same?
I have two pages of these kinds of questions.
We will have a few midweek days together next week. At that same time I will have met one of my goals of not masturbating (only “O” with her) for one month. I want to know if her views of me looking at pornography and masturbating have changed in that time. I also want to know where she wants all of this to go and if she is enjoying it. I need to know if she is having fun. If she isn’t then we are doing it wrong.
Sorry I was going to post the above in the pedestal forum.
Side note. The wife and I made love this weekend. It had been eight days. The last few were the toughest. I told my wife that I had an erotic dream with her in it the night before. I asked if she wanted to hear about it. She said sure.
She had put in some earplugs and then I placed her sleeping mask on her. I tied a rope to the legs of the bed ending in bowline knots (loose knots, just for her to hold onto more than being tied). She pushed my head down her body slowly allowing me to kiss every place I could find on the way. I found myself between her legs. She reached her arms out and placed her hands through the loops gripping the rope, and said, "You don't get to cum until next weekend."
She looked at me, kind of matter of factly, and said, "Yeah, that's what you want."
I felt my butt clench, and a spasm of the muscles near my prostate. Sure enough came the feeling of a small accident happening in my pants.
The next morning we made love. I asked her if she wanted me to cum and she said yes. I still have one week left until my next "O" on my schedule so I was hoping that she would say no, but last time I went two weeks the "O" was uncomfortable. This time it was nice at first but there was so much fluid that it just kept coming out after the "O" like a ruined orgasm.
After last week we started placing an extra shirt or towel under her to keep from messing up the sheets.
Side note. The wife and I made love this weekend. It had been eight days. The last few were the toughest. I told my wife that I had an erotic dream with her in it the night before. I asked if she wanted to hear about it. She said sure.
She had put in some earplugs and then I placed her sleeping mask on her. I tied a rope to the legs of the bed ending in bowline knots (loose knots, just for her to hold onto more than being tied). She pushed my head down her body slowly allowing me to kiss every place I could find on the way. I found myself between her legs. She reached her arms out and placed her hands through the loops gripping the rope, and said, "You don't get to cum until next weekend."
She looked at me, kind of matter of factly, and said, "Yeah, that's what you want."
I felt my butt clench, and a spasm of the muscles near my prostate. Sure enough came the feeling of a small accident happening in my pants.
The next morning we made love. I asked her if she wanted me to cum and she said yes. I still have one week left until my next "O" on my schedule so I was hoping that she would say no, but last time I went two weeks the "O" was uncomfortable. This time it was nice at first but there was so much fluid that it just kept coming out after the "O" like a ruined orgasm.
After last week we started placing an extra shirt or towel under her to keep from messing up the sheets.
I should start this out by saying that my wife got pretty mad at me yesterday. She stayed home and worked from home, and apparently my remarks made her feel as though I want sex all day.... Which like all men I do. I told her that I don't mean for it to come across that way and I just want to keep the feeling of intimacy light and present. She simply said... We have a lot going on. I have a lot going on, and that isn't on my mind.
I was feeling like all of this... All of my efforts were for nothing and they just made her mad. I told her that I wasn't sure that any of this was worth it, and it makes me sad.
Long story short: We made up, and in the process we discovered that not communicating about what our rules are was leaving me to think about what we are doing and where we are going every day while she does not. Put quite simply we were in two different places mentally. I told her that there were rules that we were forgetting, and, specifically rules that apply to me, if forgotten, make her uncomfortable.
We decided to start our trial period review a little early since we had time and the house was empty. We weren't going to start until this weekend.We only got through one question, which led to lots of discussion.
What is your definition of a FLR (use as much detail as possible)?
Towards the middle of her answer we started getting texts from neighbors needing help, our kids needing us... Uggh. Privacy please!
So we had to review our review that evening when we were both exhausted in bed. I told her that my answers would be more thorough, and hers were expected to be from what she knows. I explained that neither is correct and that the difference is for us to pick and choose what we wanted to include or exclude.
The good news is that we both agree pretty much on everything that a FLR is, and our areas of shared effort.
What did we learn? Well, this has to be fun first. I was starting to not have fun. She has been too busy. Concerning the different areas of control -
Money - We are exactly where she is comfortable. I don't currently spend money on any extras or hobbies that are unnecessary. We keep a tight budget. We are planning for the future. She makes sure that all of the bills are paid. If I did have something I wanted to buy ($100+) I would ask her first anyway.
Free time - She likes that he is keeping as much of my free time occupied with tasks that will benefit our family. She said that I can have time in the evening to myself.
Chores - I cook, clean, and wash clothes already. I was using the Flylady website, but we have a big home project that I just started which has taken much of my regular chore time. She is concerned that there is always another project I have to do... She is right. I have to prioritize her wants first. Some of these projects can be done in small bits.
Life direction - We share this responsibility. She said that if she wanted to make all of the decisions herself she would choose to be a single mother. I agree. I do like to support her on many of the areas that she is trying to grow herself regardless of my opinion. For example her education. She would like to get a graduate degree (MBA). I want to also, but not at this time.
Sex - She feels that masturbation is natural and that I should be allowed to do it. She said that she does however like knowing that my orgasms are with her, so she is conflicted.
I was feeling like all of this... All of my efforts were for nothing and they just made her mad. I told her that I wasn't sure that any of this was worth it, and it makes me sad.
Long story short: We made up, and in the process we discovered that not communicating about what our rules are was leaving me to think about what we are doing and where we are going every day while she does not. Put quite simply we were in two different places mentally. I told her that there were rules that we were forgetting, and, specifically rules that apply to me, if forgotten, make her uncomfortable.
We decided to start our trial period review a little early since we had time and the house was empty. We weren't going to start until this weekend.We only got through one question, which led to lots of discussion.
What is your definition of a FLR (use as much detail as possible)?
Towards the middle of her answer we started getting texts from neighbors needing help, our kids needing us... Uggh. Privacy please!
So we had to review our review that evening when we were both exhausted in bed. I told her that my answers would be more thorough, and hers were expected to be from what she knows. I explained that neither is correct and that the difference is for us to pick and choose what we wanted to include or exclude.
The good news is that we both agree pretty much on everything that a FLR is, and our areas of shared effort.
What did we learn? Well, this has to be fun first. I was starting to not have fun. She has been too busy. Concerning the different areas of control -
Money - We are exactly where she is comfortable. I don't currently spend money on any extras or hobbies that are unnecessary. We keep a tight budget. We are planning for the future. She makes sure that all of the bills are paid. If I did have something I wanted to buy ($100+) I would ask her first anyway.
Free time - She likes that he is keeping as much of my free time occupied with tasks that will benefit our family. She said that I can have time in the evening to myself.
Chores - I cook, clean, and wash clothes already. I was using the Flylady website, but we have a big home project that I just started which has taken much of my regular chore time. She is concerned that there is always another project I have to do... She is right. I have to prioritize her wants first. Some of these projects can be done in small bits.
Life direction - We share this responsibility. She said that if she wanted to make all of the decisions herself she would choose to be a single mother. I agree. I do like to support her on many of the areas that she is trying to grow herself regardless of my opinion. For example her education. She would like to get a graduate degree (MBA). I want to also, but not at this time.
Sex - She feels that masturbation is natural and that I should be allowed to do it. She said that she does however like knowing that my orgasms are with her, so she is conflicted.
Tomorrow is my goal date, and the date that we were supposed to end our trial period and do a review. I have some obligations on the other side of town, and my wife has felt a little over worked lately. I am supposed to ask her if I we can make love tomorrow. If not I am supposed to ask if I can masturbate. If I don't, I may be camping the next weekend, camping the weekend after that, then comes my wife's heavy work week, then we are on vacation with our family/kids the next week. I guess what I'm saying is that If I don't it may be five weeks until my next orgasm on March 18th. I will have made my goal, but I don't think I can do this next stretch without a device... At least for day use. I will have to tell her. I am scared. I don't know what she will say. She will probably tell me that she will try to find a way to fit some sex in there, but I don't want her to go out of her way for me. That is part of the game right? I want her to make me struggle and squirm, but using a device could ease my mental stress of the whole thing.
I hate that I am pushing this agenda so much... I want her to make the decision. I want her to tell me that it's the only way... I want her to put me in chastity because she knows that there is no other way for her to have all of my orgasms to herself...
Ugh... This is so stressful... In a good way... But it's tough. I wonder how I can pose the question so that she agrees, not just to say yes to me, but to make it her own decision to own more control. I want her to accept the power I am giving her. God, it's such a rush!
I hate that I am pushing this agenda so much... I want her to make the decision. I want her to tell me that it's the only way... I want her to put me in chastity because she knows that there is no other way for her to have all of my orgasms to herself...
Ugh... This is so stressful... In a good way... But it's tough. I wonder how I can pose the question so that she agrees, not just to say yes to me, but to make it her own decision to own more control. I want her to accept the power I am giving her. God, it's such a rush!
We had our conversation/review of our trial period. She mentioned that we covered much information in the answer of our first question. "Define a FLR (use as much detail as possible), and that many of the questions seemed to have repetitive answers. She mentioned that now that we are past my two weeks of not talking about it, she does not want the subject to dominate our few moments together every night. I agreed, but I did mention that not talking about it caused one of our arguments, where I basically accused her of not putting any effort in, and me doing all of the work. Afterward I apologized and we both recognized that, she has a lot on her mind, but I do too. What is on my mind is just as important, and that if we don't discuss it then we aren't discussing our relationship. It takes very little effort to make me happy. All we have to do is blossom our already strong relationship.
We both agreed that the FLR has brought back a degree of intimacy that was missing from our relationship, and that my job concerning its growth is to continue to do research and present ideas that she can decide to include or not. We discussed some rules that we have put into place that she likes such as, me asking permission to touch her in ways so that she can decide if they are OK, and don't make her feel like every touch is for sex.
Also it was my "O" date, and I felt that she made it very special. Her hip was hurting so I helped her stretch, then she curled up in my lap with a smile and hugged me. She got very cuddly and quiet, but before we started I told her that I know that it's my "O" date. I told her that I wanted her to feel no pressure. If she just wanted hugs and kisses then so be it. Her smile was from ear to ear. I began touching and kissing her. I asked permission to take off her clothes, and she agreed. I was still wearing a shirt and underwear, not knowing if I would even be naked before the night was over. I worked my lips up and down her body, but before I began to really go down on her I asked if she would try a new position. I have been wanting to try this for a while as part of the authority I'm trying to bestow upon her. We moved into a 69 position with me on bottom in my clothes and her on top completely naked. She gladly agreed to try something new. She has had an aversion to giving me oral for some time. I told her that I would leave my clothes on so that she didn't feel intimidated.
As she lowered herself onto my face, her juices began to flow doubly. At first she was rubbing herself on my face. She lifted her torso and my hands instantly cupped her ample breasts with a nipple between each of my knuckles squeezing hard like a bra with mini vice grips. Her orgasm was explosive as she pushed down hard on my flicking tongue.
She rolled over and grabbed a few hand towels, which is our universal sign for, "There's going to be a lot of cum to clean up." She pulled me on top and I began to thrust. I was doing pretty good until I told her my next thought...
I said. I have also had a fantasy about going down on you after I cum. She said, "It's going to be very messy down there." and made a face. I said, "Yes, I know, and that's part of why I want to do it." and instantly I came...
She said I should have waited to tell her so that I would have lasted longer and that she wasn't ready for me to do that just yet. I told her that it is just as well, as I loose interest in doing it as soon as I cum. My heart wanted to tell her that I want her to make me do it anyway... But I held my tongue.
We cleaned up and then held each other as we drifted off to sleep.
We both agreed that the FLR has brought back a degree of intimacy that was missing from our relationship, and that my job concerning its growth is to continue to do research and present ideas that she can decide to include or not. We discussed some rules that we have put into place that she likes such as, me asking permission to touch her in ways so that she can decide if they are OK, and don't make her feel like every touch is for sex.
Also it was my "O" date, and I felt that she made it very special. Her hip was hurting so I helped her stretch, then she curled up in my lap with a smile and hugged me. She got very cuddly and quiet, but before we started I told her that I know that it's my "O" date. I told her that I wanted her to feel no pressure. If she just wanted hugs and kisses then so be it. Her smile was from ear to ear. I began touching and kissing her. I asked permission to take off her clothes, and she agreed. I was still wearing a shirt and underwear, not knowing if I would even be naked before the night was over. I worked my lips up and down her body, but before I began to really go down on her I asked if she would try a new position. I have been wanting to try this for a while as part of the authority I'm trying to bestow upon her. We moved into a 69 position with me on bottom in my clothes and her on top completely naked. She gladly agreed to try something new. She has had an aversion to giving me oral for some time. I told her that I would leave my clothes on so that she didn't feel intimidated.
As she lowered herself onto my face, her juices began to flow doubly. At first she was rubbing herself on my face. She lifted her torso and my hands instantly cupped her ample breasts with a nipple between each of my knuckles squeezing hard like a bra with mini vice grips. Her orgasm was explosive as she pushed down hard on my flicking tongue.
She rolled over and grabbed a few hand towels, which is our universal sign for, "There's going to be a lot of cum to clean up." She pulled me on top and I began to thrust. I was doing pretty good until I told her my next thought...
I said. I have also had a fantasy about going down on you after I cum. She said, "It's going to be very messy down there." and made a face. I said, "Yes, I know, and that's part of why I want to do it." and instantly I came...
She said I should have waited to tell her so that I would have lasted longer and that she wasn't ready for me to do that just yet. I told her that it is just as well, as I loose interest in doing it as soon as I cum. My heart wanted to tell her that I want her to make me do it anyway... But I held my tongue.
We cleaned up and then held each other as we drifted off to sleep.
Tonight was a one step forward, two steps back kind of night. When my wife came home from work I had dinner ready and was plating it up. The kids were around so we had to talk in code. She came to me in the kitchen. She said, “Remember when we were discussing things the other day? You mentioned me having an “O” without you? Well, I don’t want that.”
Hmmmm…. I reminded her that she already had. She had completely forgotten our first weekend back from the big camping trip in January where we made love for two nights in a row, the next morning and then that night I manually got her off without cumming on purpose. You see my orgasms were so painful that I wanted to go one night without and then masturbate to see if everything was ok the next day. And it was. Everything was fine. No more masturbation, just sex every weekend for a month. It was great. Tough during the week, but great!
I tried to talk to her about that thing she mentioned in the kitchen tonight, at bed time, but she said she didn’t want to talk about it so instead we just snuggled and watched TV.
I’m worried that all of this is going to start coming unraveled. I’m going to be stuck with the honor system, a FLR where the rules are too weak for me to enjoy and she won’t talk about them. I mean I know that she wants to live a normal life, but I want some excitement. I want her to be strict, and even a little Domme like. I want her to own her position. Step up to the new role and take her authority. I’m just not sure she is going to return my efforts and that makes me a little sad.
I guess the good news is that she is really latching on to a statement that I made. I want to return more intimacy to our relationship. We have been having more sex lately. That's pretty good.
Hmmmm…. I reminded her that she already had. She had completely forgotten our first weekend back from the big camping trip in January where we made love for two nights in a row, the next morning and then that night I manually got her off without cumming on purpose. You see my orgasms were so painful that I wanted to go one night without and then masturbate to see if everything was ok the next day. And it was. Everything was fine. No more masturbation, just sex every weekend for a month. It was great. Tough during the week, but great!
I tried to talk to her about that thing she mentioned in the kitchen tonight, at bed time, but she said she didn’t want to talk about it so instead we just snuggled and watched TV.
I’m worried that all of this is going to start coming unraveled. I’m going to be stuck with the honor system, a FLR where the rules are too weak for me to enjoy and she won’t talk about them. I mean I know that she wants to live a normal life, but I want some excitement. I want her to be strict, and even a little Domme like. I want her to own her position. Step up to the new role and take her authority. I’m just not sure she is going to return my efforts and that makes me a little sad.
I guess the good news is that she is really latching on to a statement that I made. I want to return more intimacy to our relationship. We have been having more sex lately. That's pretty good.
So I am going to try hypnotherapy to reduce my desire to masturbate further. Not having a device and reading all of the erotic stories of other men's Journeys on this site are almost worse than looking at porn for me. I have found a great audio on youtube.
Chastity Hypnotherapy
Now a little bit more about hypnosis. You can only be hypnotized if you want to be hypnotized. I am no expert, but I have read a lot on the internet lately about this subject. Follow the instructions and accept the suggestion, and you may find that you have lost all of your desire to masturbate.
I plan to listen to it at least two times per day. So far I have found that it helps a lot.
Chastity Hypnotherapy
Now a little bit more about hypnosis. You can only be hypnotized if you want to be hypnotized. I am no expert, but I have read a lot on the internet lately about this subject. Follow the instructions and accept the suggestion, and you may find that you have lost all of your desire to masturbate.
I plan to listen to it at least two times per day. So far I have found that it helps a lot.
Thanks for the wishes of luck @CagedAnimal2 I really appreciate it. It's my real life account of trying to bring some kink into my vanilla life. It's slow and steady, and filled with the difficulties of trying to convince someone normal (my wife) that a crazy change may be acceptable.
Funny story, I have been watching a lot of these hypnosis videos lately. I am watching most of them to see how it works and how to do it to other people. I started doing it to my kids at bed time. At first I was using it to make them relax at bed time, but tonight I decided to try something I saw in one of the videos. I made my son incapable of saying his first name. It was hilarious.
Later I told him to remember his name and to be able to say it. He said it was very strange. He knew his name, but when he tried to say it... It just wasn't there no matter how hard he tried. Hahaa.
My wife (God she's so intelligent) asked me what was going on because she heard us laughing in the other room. I told her that I hypnotized our son and that I made him forget his name. She knew that I had been messing around with the idea of hypnosis for a few days. I said I started researching hypnosis for myself and it led to this audio on youtube. I said, "Listen, you probably won't believe this. I don't know how it works.. I listened to it last night, and I let my eyes get heavy, and my arms get heavy and before I knew it I was ready to accept the suggestion in the message." She said, "Was it for that?" as she pointed to my crotch. I said, "Yes, it was to help me not masturbate. but the weird thing is that I didn't have an erection all day. Totally not normal. Usually by now I am getting uncomfortable with my situation. But today... Nothing."
She asked how often I have listened to it.
I said, "I listened to it last night before bed and this morning."
This is the part that kills me.
She said, "What did you search for?"
My brain scrambled for a moment... I have to be careful. I want to get her to the point where the idea of chastity is a normal thing. I need her to want it. That is the only way for me to get us to a place where it becomes something that happens. It needs to become something that is normal. I don't want her to say "No" before we try it.
Immediately my mind thought I should say that I searched chastity and masturbating, but then I felt that I need to normalize the word so that it is more easily accepted. I just said it, "I searched Chastity Hypnosis"
She said, "Hmm." with no emotion or anything else, and went back to watching her show.
Well, I believe that went over well. Now the house is a mess from a few days of neglect. I have a plan. I am going to work my tail off cleaning this place up. I'm going to associate this new process of listening to the hypnosis and the word chastity to the success of the cleanup and then maybe it will be time to ask. I want her to feel good about it. It needs to come on the heels of a win for her I think.
She already said it might work if it was just during the work day. It's time to make this baby pay off. I have a hard day of cleaning tomorrow.
Funny story, I have been watching a lot of these hypnosis videos lately. I am watching most of them to see how it works and how to do it to other people. I started doing it to my kids at bed time. At first I was using it to make them relax at bed time, but tonight I decided to try something I saw in one of the videos. I made my son incapable of saying his first name. It was hilarious.
Later I told him to remember his name and to be able to say it. He said it was very strange. He knew his name, but when he tried to say it... It just wasn't there no matter how hard he tried. Hahaa.
My wife (God she's so intelligent) asked me what was going on because she heard us laughing in the other room. I told her that I hypnotized our son and that I made him forget his name. She knew that I had been messing around with the idea of hypnosis for a few days. I said I started researching hypnosis for myself and it led to this audio on youtube. I said, "Listen, you probably won't believe this. I don't know how it works.. I listened to it last night, and I let my eyes get heavy, and my arms get heavy and before I knew it I was ready to accept the suggestion in the message." She said, "Was it for that?" as she pointed to my crotch. I said, "Yes, it was to help me not masturbate. but the weird thing is that I didn't have an erection all day. Totally not normal. Usually by now I am getting uncomfortable with my situation. But today... Nothing."
She asked how often I have listened to it.
I said, "I listened to it last night before bed and this morning."
This is the part that kills me.
She said, "What did you search for?"
My brain scrambled for a moment... I have to be careful. I want to get her to the point where the idea of chastity is a normal thing. I need her to want it. That is the only way for me to get us to a place where it becomes something that happens. It needs to become something that is normal. I don't want her to say "No" before we try it.
Immediately my mind thought I should say that I searched chastity and masturbating, but then I felt that I need to normalize the word so that it is more easily accepted. I just said it, "I searched Chastity Hypnosis"
She said, "Hmm." with no emotion or anything else, and went back to watching her show.
Well, I believe that went over well. Now the house is a mess from a few days of neglect. I have a plan. I am going to work my tail off cleaning this place up. I'm going to associate this new process of listening to the hypnosis and the word chastity to the success of the cleanup and then maybe it will be time to ask. I want her to feel good about it. It needs to come on the heels of a win for her I think.
She already said it might work if it was just during the work day. It's time to make this baby pay off. I have a hard day of cleaning tomorrow.
Ok, so apparently I'm an idiot. I just masturbated in the shower. The water was pouring down. It was warm and comfortable. I was dirty and sweaty from working outside and needed to clean up before I worked on my wife's laundry. The water was pouring down, warm and wet. I was thinking of the statement that I made to my wife while we made love while I washed my hair then put in conditioner... I told her that I wanted to go down on her after I cum. She said it was really sloppy. I wanted to tell her before we make love next time to do it doggy style at the end, then when I cum tell me to get under her then just sit back and let it out.
That is when I grabbed a hand full of conditioner and made a bad decision. I would do it just a little bit. Before I knew it I was out of control and didn't care about anything. The world could have been burning and I wouldn't have cared. All I wanted was her. She could tell me to go down on her after I finished whether I wanted it or not. I wanted her to want it, and not be able to stop like me......
Then it was too late.... It was a super powerful spasm. It actually hurt a little instead of being pleasureful. Then I felt ashamed.
I came online after, and started to look for any reason to remove blame from myself.
I asked and she didn't tell me to get a device
It would have never happened If I had a device.
@LadyS and said the most simple thing and profound things. "So you are going to make this her fault?"
"You are upset because she isn't participating in your fantasy?"
I often "Get real" in the forum when new users say, "How do I get my wife to be my keyholder?" and I'm like, "Maybe you need to think about her instead of you." and here I am whacking off in the shower, when she has clearly said that she is conflicted about my masturbation. On one hand she thinks it's normal and natural, and on the other hand, she said she likes knowing that she's the only one who gets my "O".
I really hosed this up. I have to do an exceptional job today, then be honest with her and apologize, and hope that it all ends well. I told her that I would ask first. I didn't even do that. Well, maybe she will agree that I need a device for day use. This course seems logical to me, but who knows what she will say.
Why did I have to be an idiot today?
That is when I grabbed a hand full of conditioner and made a bad decision. I would do it just a little bit. Before I knew it I was out of control and didn't care about anything. The world could have been burning and I wouldn't have cared. All I wanted was her. She could tell me to go down on her after I finished whether I wanted it or not. I wanted her to want it, and not be able to stop like me......
Then it was too late.... It was a super powerful spasm. It actually hurt a little instead of being pleasureful. Then I felt ashamed.
I came online after, and started to look for any reason to remove blame from myself.
I asked and she didn't tell me to get a device
It would have never happened If I had a device.
@LadyS and said the most simple thing and profound things. "So you are going to make this her fault?"
"You are upset because she isn't participating in your fantasy?"
I often "Get real" in the forum when new users say, "How do I get my wife to be my keyholder?" and I'm like, "Maybe you need to think about her instead of you." and here I am whacking off in the shower, when she has clearly said that she is conflicted about my masturbation. On one hand she thinks it's normal and natural, and on the other hand, she said she likes knowing that she's the only one who gets my "O".
I really hosed this up. I have to do an exceptional job today, then be honest with her and apologize, and hope that it all ends well. I told her that I would ask first. I didn't even do that. Well, maybe she will agree that I need a device for day use. This course seems logical to me, but who knows what she will say.
Why did I have to be an idiot today?
@Mistress B Yes. Possibly because I'm male. I let testosterone make a decision for me in the heat of the moment. I could taste the water splashing up from the muscles in my chest. I lathered up the rag and slowly pushed it down across the curve of my bicep and across the lumps of my triceps and then down my forearm. As I did this the water began to pour off of my chin as I looked down onto my abs. I noticed that my manhood was erect and immediately thought of the last time that I made love to my wife. Her hands raced across those same abs and brushed my nipples. I leaned forward and kissed her torso as she stretched raising her hands as a clear sign to remove her shirt. Her thick nipples caught the last piece of cloth, letting go with a firm, beautiful, natural bounce. I lifted her shirt just enough to cover her eyes with her arms still above her head and began to breath warm breaths across her areola. I removed her shirt and kissed my way down the length of her body. As I approached her most sacred area, I asked if we could change positions. I asked her to climb atop me and lower herself down onto my face in a 69 position with me laying on my back on the bed. My mind raced as I began to think. She has assumed a dominant position. I was still wearing my underwear and t-shirt, but she rubbed her cheek and chin across the shaft of my penis. For one moment I dreamed that the only thing that would make my fantasy complete would be that she would make me assume this same position after I cam inside of her and tell me to clean up the mess I made. My juices intermingled with hers. My salt and her musk pouring into my mouth as I bathed her with my tongue to yet another reality shattering climax.
I washed my hair and continued to think these thoughts as the silky smooth conditioner lotion swept across my body. I felt the curves of my chest as I ran my hand down, down, down to a place that it should not be allowed. I felt myself pulse, as the slippery girth of my shaft moved in and out of my hand. My eyes closed. Over and over I saw her lower herself and my spent load down onto my face in my minds eye. She had only one expectation, that I would not turn away, her pleasure coming before my comfort.
And that's when it happened. Uncontrollable. Irreversible. My orgasm wrenched my body into spasms of uncontrollable lust for my wife with too much power for even my own comfort. I was spent.
Now comes the waiting. I haven't told her yet. I figured this should be an in person thing conversation for behind bedroom doors tonight. She said that she will be a little late. The worst part is that I think all of my anxiety is probably for not. I want her to care enough to be upset about this but most likely she will give me the whole, "It's natural, and nothing to be ashamed of." speech.
I washed my hair and continued to think these thoughts as the silky smooth conditioner lotion swept across my body. I felt the curves of my chest as I ran my hand down, down, down to a place that it should not be allowed. I felt myself pulse, as the slippery girth of my shaft moved in and out of my hand. My eyes closed. Over and over I saw her lower herself and my spent load down onto my face in my minds eye. She had only one expectation, that I would not turn away, her pleasure coming before my comfort.
And that's when it happened. Uncontrollable. Irreversible. My orgasm wrenched my body into spasms of uncontrollable lust for my wife with too much power for even my own comfort. I was spent.
Now comes the waiting. I haven't told her yet. I figured this should be an in person thing conversation for behind bedroom doors tonight. She said that she will be a little late. The worst part is that I think all of my anxiety is probably for not. I want her to care enough to be upset about this but most likely she will give me the whole, "It's natural, and nothing to be ashamed of." speech.
So, last night I had the house cleaned up, dinner ready, the bed made with her pajamas laid out with a note that says, "I Love You" as normal. My wife went to the bedroom to relax and watch tv as usual while I tucked the kids into bed. Afterward I went over to my desk and put on the hypnosis audio.
I didn't know, but my wife came by and saw me sitting there with my eyes closed two times listening to the audio.
Afterward, I finished up and getting up from my chair when she walked up and said, "Is everything OK?"
I replied "Yeah I guess."
She followed up with, "Are you sure?"
It's like she could feel that I had messed something up.
Then she said, "I came by twice and you were meditating. What's wrong."
Holy crap. I mean, I know that I have been listening to this audio just before bed, and this is a bit early for me, and I usually go straight to bed to see her, but how does she know I did something? I plan on telling her anyway, but she has been home for an hour and has barely said anything to me.... And she knows something is up.
I spilled my guts. I told her that I made a bad choice, I didn't expect it to happen, but I masturbated.
We stood there and she stared at me emotionless.
I told her, that I cleaned inside, then worked outside for a while, then came in for a shower, and then I started thinking about how we made love the other day and my hands were on myself. I told her that it never even crossed my mind to stop. I was lost in the moment and then it was over. I told her that I was upset, and disappointed in myself. I asked if she was OK. She took a deep breath and said, "Yeah, lets go watch some TV."
We climbed into bed. The temperature is a little lower that night. Not quite cold, but definitely cool. Our bed has a sheet and three thin knitted blankets on top. I changed into some night pants with socks and climbed under the sheets. She had on full pants pajamas and a long sleeve shirt. When she got into bed. She got under the top blanket only. I didn't notice at first. We hadn't started playing the TV shows that we had recorded on our Home Theater PC just yet and I still felt uncomfortable about what I did. So I went into further detail about how it happened, and the idea of going down on her after my orgasm causing it. She said that she thought it was interesting that I made the comment that I really had lost interest in doing immediately after my "O" last time. I told her that, what made me orgasm in the shower was the idea that she would want me to regardless of how I felt, so I rearranged events in my mind to create a scenario where she would want me to do it.
I said, "We do it just like last time and I could go down on you afterward, or If I were to "O" first and you felt that you wanted one you could send me down to give it to you."
She said, "I think that you are thinking too much and need to find something else to think about during the day." and my heart sank.
I said, "What about what I did. Are you Ok? I know that I feel like I let myself down and I hurt my own feelings. How do you feel?"
"Concerned." She said. "But I don't want to get into a big conversation about it."
I did not feel that it would be appropriate to re-propose a device for daytime use at that time since she did not want to talk more about it.
Then she picked up the remote and switched on a show. That was when I noticed how we were between different levels of sheets. I couldn't snuggle with her, wrapping our legs together and hugging one another as usual. I felt very isolated and separate. Eventually she moved closer and her hands found their way across and under the sheets to my chest. But our warm snuggly, giggly closeness that we usually have at night wasn't possible.
Worst yet, I have no resolution. She didn't want to have a real conversation so I never got to propose the solution of a chastity device for day use.
I don't think this was meant as punishment, but it sure felt like it.
I didn't know, but my wife came by and saw me sitting there with my eyes closed two times listening to the audio.
Afterward, I finished up and getting up from my chair when she walked up and said, "Is everything OK?"
I replied "Yeah I guess."
She followed up with, "Are you sure?"
It's like she could feel that I had messed something up.
Then she said, "I came by twice and you were meditating. What's wrong."
Holy crap. I mean, I know that I have been listening to this audio just before bed, and this is a bit early for me, and I usually go straight to bed to see her, but how does she know I did something? I plan on telling her anyway, but she has been home for an hour and has barely said anything to me.... And she knows something is up.
I spilled my guts. I told her that I made a bad choice, I didn't expect it to happen, but I masturbated.
We stood there and she stared at me emotionless.
I told her, that I cleaned inside, then worked outside for a while, then came in for a shower, and then I started thinking about how we made love the other day and my hands were on myself. I told her that it never even crossed my mind to stop. I was lost in the moment and then it was over. I told her that I was upset, and disappointed in myself. I asked if she was OK. She took a deep breath and said, "Yeah, lets go watch some TV."
We climbed into bed. The temperature is a little lower that night. Not quite cold, but definitely cool. Our bed has a sheet and three thin knitted blankets on top. I changed into some night pants with socks and climbed under the sheets. She had on full pants pajamas and a long sleeve shirt. When she got into bed. She got under the top blanket only. I didn't notice at first. We hadn't started playing the TV shows that we had recorded on our Home Theater PC just yet and I still felt uncomfortable about what I did. So I went into further detail about how it happened, and the idea of going down on her after my orgasm causing it. She said that she thought it was interesting that I made the comment that I really had lost interest in doing immediately after my "O" last time. I told her that, what made me orgasm in the shower was the idea that she would want me to regardless of how I felt, so I rearranged events in my mind to create a scenario where she would want me to do it.
I said, "We do it just like last time and I could go down on you afterward, or If I were to "O" first and you felt that you wanted one you could send me down to give it to you."
She said, "I think that you are thinking too much and need to find something else to think about during the day." and my heart sank.
I said, "What about what I did. Are you Ok? I know that I feel like I let myself down and I hurt my own feelings. How do you feel?"
"Concerned." She said. "But I don't want to get into a big conversation about it."
I did not feel that it would be appropriate to re-propose a device for daytime use at that time since she did not want to talk more about it.
Then she picked up the remote and switched on a show. That was when I noticed how we were between different levels of sheets. I couldn't snuggle with her, wrapping our legs together and hugging one another as usual. I felt very isolated and separate. Eventually she moved closer and her hands found their way across and under the sheets to my chest. But our warm snuggly, giggly closeness that we usually have at night wasn't possible.
Worst yet, I have no resolution. She didn't want to have a real conversation so I never got to propose the solution of a chastity device for day use.
I don't think this was meant as punishment, but it sure felt like it.
Ok, I'm going to mess up all of the details of this because I was so tired this morning, but we had our talk. The short version. She said that it didn't bother her that I masturbated. She said that she was happy that I did it thinking of her and not looking at porn. I told her that I wasn't sure I could trust myself and I wanted to know if she would agree to me getting a device.
Her reply was freaking brilliant. She said that I have only included her in this for just over a month and a half. Then she said that all of this seems forced and by design. There is supposed to be no pressure on her, and that this is supposed to be easy.
I admitted that I really want to wear a chastity device. She said that she wants our relationship to develop naturally and that I may get what I want in due time, when we get there. She said we have 20 years of relationship, and this is only just over a month of this new thing. Don't rush it. Then she pointed out other responsibilities that she would rather I spend my time on.
I felt like a hound dog that just realized it's barking up the wrong tree...
Her reply was freaking brilliant. She said that I have only included her in this for just over a month and a half. Then she said that all of this seems forced and by design. There is supposed to be no pressure on her, and that this is supposed to be easy.
I admitted that I really want to wear a chastity device. She said that she wants our relationship to develop naturally and that I may get what I want in due time, when we get there. She said we have 20 years of relationship, and this is only just over a month of this new thing. Don't rush it. Then she pointed out other responsibilities that she would rather I spend my time on.
I felt like a hound dog that just realized it's barking up the wrong tree...
I'm sure you'll end up locked eventually. Don't rush her and enjoy the process you're so lucky to be going through!
Today is Feb 20th. Looking at the end of Feb and the month of March... Weekends are only good for PIV sex for her.
Feb 24-26 camping no PIV
Mar 2 my birthday (first week of month but not on weekend so no PIV)
Mar 4-5 First week of month no PIV
Mar 11-12 Family vacation no PIV
Mar 18-19 Return from vacation unpack stress No PIV
Mar 25-26 no obligations "O" date
So March is looking pretty bleak. I'm just saying. If this is the way that it is, I wish I had something to help me get through. You know. Like a device or something. This sucks. All of the success depends on my will power.
Feb 24-26 camping no PIV
Mar 2 my birthday (first week of month but not on weekend so no PIV)
Mar 4-5 First week of month no PIV
Mar 11-12 Family vacation no PIV
Mar 18-19 Return from vacation unpack stress No PIV
Mar 25-26 no obligations "O" date
So March is looking pretty bleak. I'm just saying. If this is the way that it is, I wish I had something to help me get through. You know. Like a device or something. This sucks. All of the success depends on my will power.
My wife and I lay on the bed watching television. I left the room to check the house. When I returned she had changed positions. She was lying with her head at the foot of the bed. I climbed on top of the sheets. We watched quietly for a while, until she bumped me with her foot and said, "Would you please rub my hip?" I replied, "Of course."
She lifted her night gown, and I began rubbing her hip over her underwear. This lasted for only a few moments until she reached down and lowered her underwear a few inches so that I could rub on her skin. I did this for about 5 minutes. Then asked if I could lower her underwear further. I assured her that my intentions were honorable. She agreed. Before I knew it I was rubbing and touching her beautiful round bottom, Pressing on her lower back, running my fingers up her spine. I started using techniques that I learned watching massage training videos. I pulled the muscles near her spine away towards her sides, then began to press my forearms down the length of her back all the way to her buttox.
Here, I had before me the most beautiful, shapely, semi nude woman. I told my mind not to get turned on, and for one of the first times in my life I managed to keep myself from being selfish. I ran my hands all over her, rubbing and pushing, pressing and kneading.
Soon we fell asleep. Dreams took me but my mind was still on her.
6 days after my last orgasm and I awoke at 1 am to a dream; of an idea. My birthday is coming up in a week. It will be during the first week of the month, which is the worst time for my wife's work. Worse yet it is on a weekday. I seriously doubt I will be having sex with her (as noted in my last post) as she has started reserving sex for weekends only. She may want to make love that weekend but the 4th day of the month has historically been the hardest day of work for her and it falls on a weekend. She may have to drive in to work. It's hard to say for sure. She said that they are stretching their work so that it doesn't fall on weekends as of late, but it's no guarantee.
So, back to the dream and idea. I woke up to the idea that I may ask her for a chastity device for my birthday, She got me a gift for Christmas that I sent back as it didn't meet my needs, and the item I wanted was well outside of our budget. She suggested that I return the item so I did. Now my birthday is here I asked her what we are doing and if she got me anything, she said no. I wonder what would happen if I asked for a device. It may be too soon. We just had the discussion about this last weekend where she said she's not quite ready. I do wish there were a simple way to put this idea into her head.
A funny thing did happen that was quite notable. I said something silly (poking fun), I don't remember what it was. She made a fist and acted like she was going to punch me in the stomach. I told her, "Go ahead. Do it as hard as you can." She punched. I tightened my abdominal muscles. Her hand readily bounced off. I told her that she is welcome to do it again. Harder if she likes. She got a big smile on her face and really gave it a go this time. Still bounced off, but I love that she tried.
Now if I could just get her to put a belt in her hand and use that same enthusiasm on my backside....
She lifted her night gown, and I began rubbing her hip over her underwear. This lasted for only a few moments until she reached down and lowered her underwear a few inches so that I could rub on her skin. I did this for about 5 minutes. Then asked if I could lower her underwear further. I assured her that my intentions were honorable. She agreed. Before I knew it I was rubbing and touching her beautiful round bottom, Pressing on her lower back, running my fingers up her spine. I started using techniques that I learned watching massage training videos. I pulled the muscles near her spine away towards her sides, then began to press my forearms down the length of her back all the way to her buttox.
Here, I had before me the most beautiful, shapely, semi nude woman. I told my mind not to get turned on, and for one of the first times in my life I managed to keep myself from being selfish. I ran my hands all over her, rubbing and pushing, pressing and kneading.
Soon we fell asleep. Dreams took me but my mind was still on her.
6 days after my last orgasm and I awoke at 1 am to a dream; of an idea. My birthday is coming up in a week. It will be during the first week of the month, which is the worst time for my wife's work. Worse yet it is on a weekday. I seriously doubt I will be having sex with her (as noted in my last post) as she has started reserving sex for weekends only. She may want to make love that weekend but the 4th day of the month has historically been the hardest day of work for her and it falls on a weekend. She may have to drive in to work. It's hard to say for sure. She said that they are stretching their work so that it doesn't fall on weekends as of late, but it's no guarantee.
So, back to the dream and idea. I woke up to the idea that I may ask her for a chastity device for my birthday, She got me a gift for Christmas that I sent back as it didn't meet my needs, and the item I wanted was well outside of our budget. She suggested that I return the item so I did. Now my birthday is here I asked her what we are doing and if she got me anything, she said no. I wonder what would happen if I asked for a device. It may be too soon. We just had the discussion about this last weekend where she said she's not quite ready. I do wish there were a simple way to put this idea into her head.
A funny thing did happen that was quite notable. I said something silly (poking fun), I don't remember what it was. She made a fist and acted like she was going to punch me in the stomach. I told her, "Go ahead. Do it as hard as you can." She punched. I tightened my abdominal muscles. Her hand readily bounced off. I told her that she is welcome to do it again. Harder if she likes. She got a big smile on her face and really gave it a go this time. Still bounced off, but I love that she tried.
Now if I could just get her to put a belt in her hand and use that same enthusiasm on my backside....
I still wouldn't push too much for the cage. Let her decide since it's obv a big hurdle for her. Although Going cheap to start may help. One with various sized rings and spacers that don't cost $140 will give you an idea of what works for you. Just be aware they may crack and be painful so not ideal for long-term but good starting point. Maybe like this one to start, when she's ready of course,,,,
https://www.amazon.com/Chastity-Dev...19&sr=8-8&keywords=chastity+cage+for+men&th=1
https://www.amazon.com/Chastity-Dev...19&sr=8-8&keywords=chastity+cage+for+men&th=1
I stayed up from 1 am until 4 am. I wrote my last post, and watched part of a movie. My wife woke up and asked what I was doing. I told her that I couldn't sleep because I had a fantastic dream about us wrapped around each other and I didn't want to wake her up. Next I shut down the computer and went to bed.
I could hear her breathing change as she went to sleep. In a calm, quiet voice I started talking to her as she slept. I told her that I wanted a chastity device. I would like one for my birthday. I want her to lock me up so that I can't touch myself. My next release date is in late March. I want her to keep me locked until then. I was hoping that subconsciously she was hearing me and that all of this would become more normal and acceptable to her.
Skip to today. We have been talking about FLR and I mentioned to her that I have been researching Cognitive Behavior Therapy. There are two main theories: Classical conditioning and operant conditioning.
Classical Conditioning: We have all heard of Pavlov's Dog - An environmental change causes the subject to act a certain way. The subject has no choice in the way that it reacts to the stimulus. After a while the condition is habit. Spikes in a chastity tube, would be Pavlovian classical conditioning. After a while the pain will cause you to stifle your unwanted erections (and possibly get sores which make you remove your device). As long as you are doing this to remove a reaction and not as punishment it's classical conditioning.
Operant conditioning: E.L. Thorndike is known for the beginning ideas associated with this, but it is more associated with B.F. Skinner. Operant conditioning is a type of learning that is learned from the results of the consequences of a subjects behavior. This is slightly more complicated, but allows the person training to find ways to strengthen a behavior. So Lets Break this down:
There are four types of condition options:
Positive Reinforcement: If you do something good you get a reward (a positive stimulus added)
Negative Reinforcement: If you do something good you get a punishment removed (unpleasant stimulus removed)
Positive Punishment: If you do something bad you get a punishment (unpleasant stimulus added)
Negative Punishment: If you do something bad you get something good taken away (Positive stimulus removed)
As I discussed this my wife interrupted to tell me that she has decided that she will be implementing a punishment that she has noticed that I do not like. I got an instant erection.
She told me that she noticed how much I disliked her sleeping under a different layer of sheets the other day and that if I do not have a desirable performance I can expect to not touch her at the end of the day and to have to sleep under separate sheets. I told her that I really enjoyed rubbing and massaging her without her clothes on last night, and that I would very much like to have something like that be a reward if I have made her happy.
She agreed, and we were both really happy with our conversation at this point.
I told her that I wanted to go over what I think is a discrepancy in my "O" schedule. it's not that I want to have less "O"s but I build my schedule around my perception of her availability. I told her that, my last "O" was on February 16th putting me over one week by then. That was the day that I masturbated off schedule and came clean to her (this will be important later on). We are unavailable this weekend due to events. My birthday is during the next week but on a weekday during her busy week. I planned my "O" Schedule prior to her weekend work change (Not doing work on weekends), so I did not plan one then. The next week is a family vacation., the weekend after that is her busy week at work From that date We have a family trip and I scheduled an "O" during the trip. This is where I think the discrepancy is. It isn't on the way there, or on the first day that we check in, but I thought we might find some time to be alone while we were there after we are settled in. She said that she didn't know our sleeping conditions and that I should remove it... Again... Instant erection. I told her that I was hoping that she would say that. I was very happy that she took the initiative to decide for me.
She said, but aren't you supposed to have one scheduled for every other week? I reminded her that I would gladly change it to every other week if that is what she wants, but we originally agreed to once per week the last time we talked about it.
She said, "Right, so then you can masturbate on that date March 25th." I told her, "No, I can ask you permission. You can either give me permission or say "No" as a punishment for something I have done." For example, I broke the rules and masturbated off schedule, so you could remove my next "O" date regardless and then I would have to wait until the next one. She asked why my dates are pushed so far out now. I told her that I only want to be with her and that's why I built my schedule around her availability.
I told her that, Since we were on the subject of FLR, I know that my birthday is coming up and you mentioned that you had not gotten me anything yet. I said I know that you said that we have just started this new phase of our relationship, but I would like you to consider letting me have a chastity device for my birthday. We probably won't be having sex that day because you will be coming home late from work (first week of the month). I continued, since we are on the subject of discipline. If you would feel comfortable I would like you to try physically punishing me. I know that you don't want to associate it with anything. You don't have to have a reason. If you feel comfortable I would like you to try it... If you aren't too tired from work. She giggled. If you don't feel comfortable with either, we can just go out to a nice dinner... Probably not that night because you will be home late from work. Maybe that weekend.
She said "Yeah, Ok, Maybe."
I added, "That would be nice."
She said that she would think about it. So a lot happened.
Now I might have to start thinking about a device In Real Life (IRL)
Phew... Lots of progress today!
I could hear her breathing change as she went to sleep. In a calm, quiet voice I started talking to her as she slept. I told her that I wanted a chastity device. I would like one for my birthday. I want her to lock me up so that I can't touch myself. My next release date is in late March. I want her to keep me locked until then. I was hoping that subconsciously she was hearing me and that all of this would become more normal and acceptable to her.
Skip to today. We have been talking about FLR and I mentioned to her that I have been researching Cognitive Behavior Therapy. There are two main theories: Classical conditioning and operant conditioning.
Classical Conditioning: We have all heard of Pavlov's Dog - An environmental change causes the subject to act a certain way. The subject has no choice in the way that it reacts to the stimulus. After a while the condition is habit. Spikes in a chastity tube, would be Pavlovian classical conditioning. After a while the pain will cause you to stifle your unwanted erections (and possibly get sores which make you remove your device). As long as you are doing this to remove a reaction and not as punishment it's classical conditioning.
Operant conditioning: E.L. Thorndike is known for the beginning ideas associated with this, but it is more associated with B.F. Skinner. Operant conditioning is a type of learning that is learned from the results of the consequences of a subjects behavior. This is slightly more complicated, but allows the person training to find ways to strengthen a behavior. So Lets Break this down:
There are four types of condition options:
Positive Reinforcement: If you do something good you get a reward (a positive stimulus added)
Negative Reinforcement: If you do something good you get a punishment removed (unpleasant stimulus removed)
Positive Punishment: If you do something bad you get a punishment (unpleasant stimulus added)
Negative Punishment: If you do something bad you get something good taken away (Positive stimulus removed)
As I discussed this my wife interrupted to tell me that she has decided that she will be implementing a punishment that she has noticed that I do not like. I got an instant erection.
She told me that she noticed how much I disliked her sleeping under a different layer of sheets the other day and that if I do not have a desirable performance I can expect to not touch her at the end of the day and to have to sleep under separate sheets. I told her that I really enjoyed rubbing and massaging her without her clothes on last night, and that I would very much like to have something like that be a reward if I have made her happy.
She agreed, and we were both really happy with our conversation at this point.
I told her that I wanted to go over what I think is a discrepancy in my "O" schedule. it's not that I want to have less "O"s but I build my schedule around my perception of her availability. I told her that, my last "O" was on February 16th putting me over one week by then. That was the day that I masturbated off schedule and came clean to her (this will be important later on). We are unavailable this weekend due to events. My birthday is during the next week but on a weekday during her busy week. I planned my "O" Schedule prior to her weekend work change (Not doing work on weekends), so I did not plan one then. The next week is a family vacation., the weekend after that is her busy week at work From that date We have a family trip and I scheduled an "O" during the trip. This is where I think the discrepancy is. It isn't on the way there, or on the first day that we check in, but I thought we might find some time to be alone while we were there after we are settled in. She said that she didn't know our sleeping conditions and that I should remove it... Again... Instant erection. I told her that I was hoping that she would say that. I was very happy that she took the initiative to decide for me.
She said, but aren't you supposed to have one scheduled for every other week? I reminded her that I would gladly change it to every other week if that is what she wants, but we originally agreed to once per week the last time we talked about it.
She said, "Right, so then you can masturbate on that date March 25th." I told her, "No, I can ask you permission. You can either give me permission or say "No" as a punishment for something I have done." For example, I broke the rules and masturbated off schedule, so you could remove my next "O" date regardless and then I would have to wait until the next one. She asked why my dates are pushed so far out now. I told her that I only want to be with her and that's why I built my schedule around her availability.
I told her that, Since we were on the subject of FLR, I know that my birthday is coming up and you mentioned that you had not gotten me anything yet. I said I know that you said that we have just started this new phase of our relationship, but I would like you to consider letting me have a chastity device for my birthday. We probably won't be having sex that day because you will be coming home late from work (first week of the month). I continued, since we are on the subject of discipline. If you would feel comfortable I would like you to try physically punishing me. I know that you don't want to associate it with anything. You don't have to have a reason. If you feel comfortable I would like you to try it... If you aren't too tired from work. She giggled. If you don't feel comfortable with either, we can just go out to a nice dinner... Probably not that night because you will be home late from work. Maybe that weekend.
She said "Yeah, Ok, Maybe."
I added, "That would be nice."
She said that she would think about it. So a lot happened.
Now I might have to start thinking about a device In Real Life (IRL)
Phew... Lots of progress today!