Success! I have reached my first mile stone. Christmas day with no prospect of orgasm. I’ve been busy visiting family all day, and now that we are back my wife’s menstrual cramps clearly put sex off the table. Taking
@Jasmic68 advice I have kept away from triggers today that might lead me down the black hole of the internet and inevitable failure. Even visiting this site is a risk. Many users have pictures of their wives or significant others with a necklace holding a chastity key to their bosom. The mere thought of the possibility of my orgasm hanging in the balance of my wife’s desire is almost unbearable. It is so easy to cheat this system of non confinement. I have resorted to typing my reply offline only to cut and paste it quickly later because every thread here makes it worse and worse.
Yesterday I did some reading online about lidocaine. It is used as a local anesthetic, and numbing agent for burns insect bites and other minor wounds and aches. I further read that one person applied it to his penis creating a permacondom feeling. I also read many posts here where it was used in so many ways for my intended purposes that it seemed safe to apply it. I explored this today. I was hoping that I could get my penis to face down (like in a chastity device). A few minutes after applying I was numb. This allowed me to completely forget about my penis for more than half the day. I used 4% lidocaine on the head and shaft. There was some residual feeling internally, but not enough to allow any arousal as long as I kept my thoughts away from pleasing myself. I highly recommend this to anyone trying to do what I’m doing. I found myself feeling as if my penis were removed or encased in a thick container allowing no sensation from the outside world. Seems a lot like the intended effect of a chastity device so I’m really enjoying it.
Last night as I was prepping some camping gear I also came across some clothes pins. As with all of this, I have been interested in seeing other people doing things to themselves for years, but never really considered putting them on me. Last night I was writing and having a difficult time with controlling my erections so I clipped them on my nipples just to see what it would be like. At first I thought this isn’t so bad. After a few minutes I noticed how my body was reacting the same way it does to very spicy food. It felt painful, but in a good way. I did it for about five minutes and removed them. All day today my nipples were very sensitive. Not in a bad way. But in a way that reminds me that they are there.
My wife was extremely happy with her Christmas gifts today. Jewelry is always a good idea. I made sure to hug her extra and kiss her more often than usual. I could feel our relationship getting closer. I think she could too. I’m hoping that at the end of this when I tell her what I’m doing that she is understanding and shows interest in this aspect of our physical relationship. Very strange, I am aroused because I am actually feel guilty for wanting to ask her to control my orgasms.
Knowing her as I do, I’m sure that she will tell me that we should try only letting me cum when we have sex but no device. She will say it’s up to me to be in charge of that. My prediction is – as you all would probably expect (I am guessing this from your votes)– I will try and fail. I’ll be honest with her that it is too difficult, but I want her help and I’ll suggest a device. I believe the term is topping from the bottom. It’s not ideal, but I can’t help but become aroused by the idea of making her my key holder. I also spent some time reading about a Female Led Relationship yesterday. I have heard about it for years, but never really considered it something that would apply to our relationship. I got myself into the headspace of thinking that it could be applicable to me. There are some very arousing ideas in this.
Keep in mind I have no interest in feminization, but releasing control and living my life to please her is a very powerful concept. She would still want me to be her strong and physical man. I would simply shift my interests to her pleasure.
If I make it through tomorrow, which seems pretty easy since I will wake up, pack up and take the family camping, I will have gone one week. We return from camping on Friday so the new goal is Saturday or Sunday sex with no release. I’ll bring the lidocaine, it seems to help a lot.