I think this site is spot on for it's intended purpose. There are many rooms in the mansion, and it's ok to explore each one. Had been involved with another discussion, things got a bit off topic, but wanted to express myself without stomping on someone else's thread. I think this site is a great place to share experience and advice. A place to bond, and think from another point of view. No one is doing "it" wrong, just different. I would feel empty obeying an online mistress, especially without any teasing. That's just me, it doesn't make me wrong, a bad sub, or her a bad kh. I am only submissive to my kh. I don't blindly follow any woman's wishes, and I don't believe that I am inferior to women. That's just me, I'm not wrong just different. I think that is why it was called the mansion. The many and diverse rooms that all belong in the same home. No one has a correct room, just rooms you prefer. I prefer my room to be heavy into teasing, and the denial part without any control. Not big on set release dates, find I lose focus if I'm just waiting for a date. I'm submissive to my kh, but no one else. I'm open to almost everything but would rather be told to do it. That's my room...what's yours like?
And in my room... Someone who receives gifts or money for being their dominant, understands that many will believe it's ok to ask for something they believe they are paying for. Answer might be no, but it's not unheard of to ask.
My room is pretty similar, except with hockey and snow and moose. Seriously though, it was tough to read and briefly take part in that thread as I try to be as open and understanding as possible. People can do whatever the hell they like as long as it doesn't cramp my style. I guess having my relationship style/sexuality/chastity/whatever openly insulted kinda got me going. Oh well, on to bigger and better things!
My room is full of love, German food and beer, walking my dog and doing as much as I possibly can for my Wife. There is a limited amount of teasing and I wish that there was more, but I am in a true FLR and I get what I get. As Elle said recently, I don't get much sensual and sexual opportunities, but I get more than I had done for years previously, and she gets much more than she has ever done previously. Elle had her 67th orgasm of the year last night, I have been involved in every single one of them and she sees this very much as me having an orgasm as well. 67 might not seem like much but previous to us doing this chastity thing she would have been on the 20 or so mark, so a significant increase. Even more when you realise she has been unable to do anything due to travel or illness for about three months this year. I know the thread you are talking about and have been involved in it quite a bit. I totally reject the original question about tease and denial being the wrong message to be giving out for the very reason you have given, that different ≠ wrong, different = different. I have tried to ignore the way the question was loaded and even the way the OP picked and chose which sections of answers to respond to or quote. I don't like the way the thread has been turned into a trial of the OP and wish it would stick to discussing the original question.
I had actually looked forward to that particular discussion, if there would have been some honesty and give and take of other ideas, I thought it could be a great debate. It turned into an ugly rant mixed with mindless drones defending the goddess. What I wanted to really say was : If a guy thinks he is purchasing a hooker, can anyone really be upset or shocked We he asks for a happy ending? Anyway, I like how "my" room is decorated, even if it is just my kh pandering to my needs for unlimited orgasms,attention, and very open communication.
My room, much like jasmic68's is not as heavy on teasing as I'd like it to be but as its out of my control and I'm very content, that's the way she goes. I would like to give my mistress more orgasms but she'll tell me when and where she wants them when she's ready for them. For a long time I did think chastity was more or less conducted mostly the same for all of us in relationships until the the further we delved into this lifestyle. It is really up to the imagination of they keyholder and what her wishes and desires are. It is also to some degree up to the lockee as well as they must be willing to live with such a lifestyle and either come to love it or quit. There are very few antagonistic people and Debbie downers at the mansion but when they rear there ugly heads the rest of always seem to know because it's usually intended to start an unproductive argument that doesn't get any of us anywhere. Why people need/want this type of attention I'll never know. But when you call out others who aren't bothering anyone and and insult them on a forum that's meant for everyone to share their views it makes them a very sad person. I would like to thank all the Mistresses, goddesses, kh's as well as others Who engage in positive thought provoking conversation that make the mansion such a helpful tool for learning as well as enjoyable for us all.
I had also seen that when she gets upset or caught, she says "boy" to them, trying to get a malicious response, so don't feel bad, it's on purpose.
My room seems to change a lot since we started. At first we discussed our limits and what we were into, and one of the things we both agreed to was that we didn't want whipping or hard core pain. Fast forward a month into it and she brings up punishment and asking me if paddling or spankings were ok. Not my thing but I agreed. Not sure if it's the chastity or just being more submissive but now it's very much a turn on, and she realized that she enjoyed it as well. I also discussed that I didn't want to be a sissy maid dressed in some(sorry to each their own) ridiculous outfit waitron someone. Well, we still don't want to make a habit out of it, but she has said that it would be nice to make me cave to that every once in awhile. And do ya know what, now that it's something that she wants, I am into it more and would be willing to comply. She even bought a ridiculous pink dress...doesn't fit, but I'm sure a suitable one will appear someday. So my room has changed a lot in relatively a short period, and most of the changes were hers, which make them even better.
Its kind of crazy how things can change while going thru this chastity thing eh? We also have a bunch of stuff that pretty much was off limits at the beginning and is now regular. Just goes to show what happens to the mind when you take away orgasms!
So basically even though you have your own room in the Mansion they have open doors and let you wander from area to area. You meet new people and they help you see things in a different way and help you change your ideas and expectations. Occasionally you walk into a room and a picture on the wall catches your eye and you surprise yourself by liking the picture, even though in the past you hated it or anything else by that particular artist. When you go back to your own room you change the décor, redecorate and buy a new lamp. No throw cushions though. They are just unnecessary.
Things are definitely different from when we started. Back then Elle felt guilty if she made me go more than a few weeks without an orgasm. Guilt is a thing of the past, hence my current denial period of 3 months and two weeks!
The funny part is that I'm engaging in, talking about, flirting with, and in general having more sex or sexuality in my life now than I ever had.
Same. The communication, I think for me, is the most amazing thing. We have always been close and open with each other, but now it's really become something truly special.
I'm sexually pretty open minded, but talking about any of it has always even an issue. Wouldn't know it from this site, but in real life I'm quiet about feelings and wants. I'm a sarcastic ass, kind of a know it all to friends and coworkers, but have never felt comfortable talking with a female about all this or me before. It's liberating and has opened up a whole new level of closeness I haven't felt with another.
In other words, you're a man? Hey-o! Totally agree though, chastity kind of forces you to open up to other avenues of closeness when you can't get the usual "put dick in" way! It is sad to think we've all gone about life for so long without experiencing what can be. But better late than never!
Oh yeah, just wanted to say the ignore feature is quite handy when it comes to the undesirables... Consequently I only have one person I ignor on here, I wonder if you guys can guess who she is
She hasn't been teasing me at all, I have this strange compulsion to send her money for a new kitchen! Ya know, to show my devotion, it was that or a pie to my face. All kidding aside I'm kinda over it. She is very welcome to have a room here, as long as she doesn't say I decorated mine wrong.