Hello, I am new to the site but have had chastity cages for years. Plastic, silicone and more recently stainless. My long time love found the first one 4-5 years ago and flipped out... A story for another time. I like the feeling of the heavy stainless device as it always reminds me who has the key. I love the grin and giggles from her. I was suprised and excited to find her irate at the idea of me not wanting to play permanetly without any agreements after a few weeks on and off in chastity. Prior to our first week she was unsure of it. I wore it in front of her and kept the keys. After a while she slowly started to become comfortable with me leaving the keys on her jewelry box when I left the house. I bought her the key holders guide. About 2 months ago she started asking if I had it on whenever I left the house. She started sending me delicious pictures of the key in precarious places. The key always left on the jewelery box. Then all of the pictures and teasing stopped for a couple of weeks. I decided to go a little further to try to get her more involved. I started to wear it full time. I explained to her I liked wearing it for her but it makes me insanely horny all the time. Could she just tease me for a minute? Maybe tomorrow. A few days later I talk to her about ruined orgasm to help keep us both interested. I bought her a strap on and got her to use it once a couple months back and really enjoyed it. Now she acts like she doesn't want to use it. And hasn't. Always tomorrow. After a couple of weeks of being caged I had gotten the flu. I grabbed the key off the jewelry box and took the cage off. With no stimulation or something to look forward to on top of the flu made me feel like she didn't care anyways. She walked into the bathroom and asked why the cage was off. I told her I was sick and just didn't feel like playing. She was furious and told me she didn't want to play anymore. It's been a few weeks and I have let her catch me wearing the ring to the chastity. I have been modifying it for a better fit and have been trying it out. It has her interest I can tell. I am ready to go forward and I think she might be too, but I am afraid she will just ignore me and give me nothing to look forward to. Her speed so far has been all or nothing. Is it selfish to expect some attention and some trust there is something to look forward to? How can I develop this into something I can live with? And how can I make it more exciting for her so she enjoys playing the rest of the game?
Of course it's selfish, when one person gets pleasure and the other doesn't it's all for self... that doesn't mean you are wrong or out of line. It's just what you would like. I myself couldn't do this if I didn't get the attention that I crave. For me that doesn't always mean orgasms, but I won't be sexually ignored. That is something we discussed long before I gave her both keys. If she isn't comfy with being needed (being a kh is work), then either you compromise or quit. That being said, attention doesn't always mean hours of teasing and fucking you with a strapon, it could be kissing, some gropes, a phrase or two, a task for you, heck even some naughty texts can flip my switch. It sounds like she is willing to go with the flow, but it's a lot to take in. Try to let her go at her own pace for awhile, ask permission before taking it off, and talk to her. There might be some kinks that she would like to explore. She might even be submissive and thinks this will ruin that.. she can still be a kh and be sexually submissive...she just needs to tell you what pleases her and do it that way. Talk, text, communicate however you both are comfortable, but do communicate. Good luck
Thank you for your replies, your perspective has been very helpful. Your right, open communication is huge. And rushing her is not going to work. Thinking about it, I realize she would be my keyholder right now if I asked. But I have decided to wait and allow things to develop naturally from here. She gets upset whenever I masturbate and she catches me a lot. She loved having control over it with the cage. She's admitted she enjoys the security knowing I can't cheat when im out of the house if I have the cage on. But she's told me I have a much better attitude and am way more into her after I have been in chastity even a few days and that is what she likes the most. I am confident we will get back to it and probably sooner than later. Her interest is definitely there, we just need some time to develop something that works for us. Meanwhile I have been wearing it here and there to test my recent modifications. And I miss it when I don't wear it. I have considered showing her my profile and this post, but I am very hesitant. I worry about some of the things she might learn and who she might meet here. On the other hand, imagine what she could learn here...
I completely agree, keeping my attention could be as easy as a grip and a whisper. A text letting me know how much she likes my new jewelery. Tonight we talked about how it would turn her on to watch me clean the kitchen naked. Even cleaning her kitchen while she watches can be a powerful tool to keep me interested. And it's no work for her. All she needs to do is watch and show her enjoyment. My reward is her enjoyment and attention. I read about a game in another post here where the value of dice rolled is the number of orgasms the caged man must give her before he's given full release. Sounds like a great way to get her excited to play in the future. The women writing in the post sounded pretty happy with it.