My unexpected life

Hey thanks Tj for the email, of course now everyone has it LOL. Well today I finished the painting, trim work, molding, and base boards in the new craft room. Just finished hanging the little things like coat hooks etc and now it is up to her to place her new furniture. About half way through the whole cleanup mess the chastity device got all twisted and I about fell over. LOL Luckily She let me out to finish. I am sure she did not mind as her mind is more on me finishing the room then anything else. However about half way through she said she was going to get on here to get some help on a decision. She thought I should finish the room tonight naked in my chastity device. Problem with that is that the sun room has seven windows showing to both neighbors. I said no way I am sure the neighbors would see me and that would be bad. So she says well I should see what the forum says. Thank God she did not follow through as I think I would have died. LOL Of course so would the neighbors, even though she says them being able to see in is a slim chance I did not want to take any chance.

Well not much else to report on tonight so it is off to relax as my arms and back are killing me.

By the way TJ don't like oral? Really?? Sorry to hear that because I love it. Which is good I guess for me because so does Goddess. We did just order some new toys as well from Autumn, the only problem is most of them are new implements to use on me like little weights :confused0068: Not sure what has gotten into her but she ordered a new breather/drool gag as well. This is really odd because she does not like them at all so I think this may have been a waste of money, but we'll see. Anyway goodnight all.

 

Nice! Thanks Mike-Not! All she needs is a little more encouragement and it will likely be the death of me. LOL Between you and TJ I am liable to find myself locked out there in the buff.

At any rate on a serious note I had my first night of troublesome sleep in only the third night of lockup. The good thing is it was not near like it used to be. I think you get to a point where the scrotum sack stretches enough and it no longer is painful just annoying. Her moaning in her sleep did not help. Sometimes she just does that and in the morning when I ask her about it she says she did not have any dream she could recall so who knows. LOL While still not sure what if anything her intentions are this time around I will say she is all giddy with the control aspect. The other day she made a comment that it was not necessarily the chastity aspect but she absolutely loved the fact that she now controls my orgasms. While that control was her main emphasis, I think deep inside she likes to do that with the device.

Speaking of devices, Ms. Lori emailed saying she has my #2 and it was set to go into the shop today. If this is indeed the case then I am hopeful she will be sending it out soon. I know Goddess for one is secretly excited about it coming back and being a little more usable. She just goes cray over the steel device. Perhaps it is because of the fact there is not a single way out of it. Maybe even it is the looks of it, who knows. I personally think it has an evil little look about it when all locked on like that.

Well we are trying to play a little hooky today so I need to keep this short and sweet. Not sure if she has us going home to finish the back sunroom or just hanging out. I guess time will tell.

 

Here we are into the fourth day now and already the slight frustration is building. I have no idea why but it has been a morning filled with thoughts off and on and my mind wondering to places it knows it should not go. Perhaps it was the time spent with Goddess yesterday in the afternoon. We had a unplanned afternoon together where we just skipped out on work using some personal time we had built up and went out. Nothing to crazy but we did some shopping for her new room in the house, we went out for some afternoon ice cream, you know just fun "stuff" There was no sexual activity only maybe a sentence here and there with talk of the Lori device coming back (soon I hope) She definitely likes the steel over the plastic. While I know she does not normally dress this way my over active imagination last night had constant dreams of her in these thigh high boots and leather gloves. It is obviously a dream system run amuck which has contributed to the thoughts in my head all morning.

Then to top it off as I am driving out to my first shoot of the day this horrible storm sets in and there are cars everywhere. All I could think was "Oh great here I am in my device with no key at all about to be rushed to the ER in an accident." It was humorous enough to make me laugh anyway.
Obviously I made it back to the studio with no problems.

Well as I am obviously rambling this morning I am going to cut this short. Goddess is laying low right now and luckily/unluckily (depending on your view) she is not putting to much emphasis on the whole thing. She did however, get this really devious look on her face when our order from Autumn showed up. Of course inside was the 4oz weight she got to attach to whatever. It felt more like a four pound weight to me. Good news there is nothing to attach it to on the CB6000, bad news plenty of open places on the Lori device which is already heavy enough. Not sure if she knows anything about them but God help me if she finds out the weights are really for ball stretchers. lol

 

This is an update from my iphone so real short. Just wanted to say that I just got an email from Ms. Lori and the number 2 is back in route to me. That was amazingly fast service.

 

Did I screw up??

Well not sure if there is a theme in my life but I find it going the wrong way sometimes. I got the wife a laptop and found we spent way to much time in the same room surfing and acting as if each other was not there. Now I just built her a scrapbook room on the back of the house and she is out there, with the laptop. LOL Now it is like she is not even here at all. I sure wish I could find that connections again. This morning she joked with me as I took off for an all day meeting and said perhaps she should have me on all fours at her feet tonight in nothing but a gag and device. that for the strangest reason aroused the hell out of me yet here we sit on opposite sides of the house. This is the part I despise of chastity. Only a week in and I wonder if it is driving a wedge in between us in a way. She says she loves it but I fail to see the point if this is what it will become.

Anyway into day six now and it is starting to get to the mild frustration stage. I suppose it could be worse, she could actually have me out there, or worse yet I could be servicing her, then again that could also be fun. At any rate I have come to realize the device it self serves as a constant reminder throughout the entire day of my position yet at times I do forget it is even there. It is times like now where the evening starts coming to an end that my mind tends to wonder and those sexual needs (well the ones I consider needs) kick in and then it all goes to hell in a hand basket. These are the times I need to find a hobby or a job to keep the thoughts away. I so desire her touch it drives me crazy.

I wish I had more to write but tonight is a follow up to a long thought provoking day at a Leadership Summit. All I can say is it gave me so much to think about my brain is fried. So till tomorrow the thought for the day is More Killer Less Filler! I will explain later. LOL

 

Wow so much thought, ok first @Respectful, thank you. I only speak what is really on my mind and coming from the heart.

Tom while I certainly admire your approach we have two kids at home at a very young age so walking around the house naked in a devices, while comfortable as hell is not an option. Although I do agree it gets her going but not sure how she would react to me saying ok gag me. I have found with her that unfortunately she has only two flaws. One if the idea is not original to her she tends not to run with it as she feels she has to come up with the idea. I wish she knew that is not the case. Hell, look at most of us who come here for ideas and suggestions. The other flaw is that when she comes up with an original idea, and trust me some of them or duzies she has a hard time carrying it out for some reason. Trust me when I say she has a mind that is the best foreplay a guy could ever want. When she feels comfortable with herself and we can not be interrupted, she can leave me begging for more and crying for less all at the same time. All in all I try not to initiate to much as if it were up to me we would be intimate in some form or another every night. LOL

Mike, I think your opinion is almost spot on. We talked just last night and she made reference to possibly not wanting to continue this. After some talk I came to think I understand her this way: She loves the idea of controlling the orgasms or to at least make sure I don't masturbate. I do believe after I told her I had done that during our marriage she perhaps did view that as a infidelity in a way. I also believe she has not necessarily grown tired of sex but her drive is far less than mine and probably always will so this does give her the freedom to initiate sex on her terms. Once she realized during our talk that really she does not have to impress anyone with some long term lock up she felt better as she did admit there are times when she wants to have sex. As I pointed out this is where the chastity can come into play with us. We, at least I, do not believe it is a weakness for a Goddess, Mistress, Wife, what have you to initiate sex on their terms. On the contrary I submit to you that is really what this is all about thus insuring that those terms are the only thing adhered to. As has been pointed out on here some can honor that commitment without chastity and I suspect one day I will be able to as well.

Now for my side I like the idea of chastity for what it keeps me from. The endless search for new porn, the erotic conjuring up of some fantasy girl just to get off, and even just the act of total faithfulness to my wife. However that itself with the reward of tease, denial, or some form of play can have devastating consequences as then the lack of intimacy in any form can almost to me be perceived as the worse form of rejection. It is like there you are secured now go away. I think communication is key, and if you can add to that an open minded couple fueled by healthy fantasy play and a wife who is confident in her sexuality then look out. As with everything it is a journey.

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All that aside today was an amazing day filled with so much thought provoking meeting and seminars that my head hurts, literally. I was privileged to watch an interview with Bono from U2 in which I learned so much about homeless and hungry people all over the world that it put my life right back into perspective. I think we as humans spend so much time thinking the next person will take care of the week and helpless that no one ever does and when you see first hand, as I did today, the devastation that comes from that type of thought process, it will leave a scar on your character that will forever challenge your values system. It was amazing and it is really sad that a measly dollar a day can feed a family. It was obviously deeper than that but wow what a day. Needless to say I wanted to add my two cents to those of you who stopped in to say hi. I appreciate your input and words more than you know. Take care.

 

Lol I hardly consider input from friends high jacking a thread. The discussion, frankly is what makes the thread.

 

Goodness time flies when you work too much. LOL Well the good news is the Lori Device came back yesterday and the necessary adjustments appeared to have been made. The bad news is someone at her place put two 1/4" spikes in the main ring that goes around the scrotum. When I asked Lori about she said she noticed it was missing the two spikes it should have had when it was bought so she had them added. This was appreciated except I had already sent it back once to have those two removed and these two new ones were not in the penis cage back ring they were in the main ring. I tried it on thinking it would help support the device as she made mention but holy crap talk about pain. The back ring already fits snug add this and no way. At any point while I certainly appreciate her trying to help I do wish the person she gave the instructions to would have at least put the spikes in the right area. Of course really I just wish she would have not done it at all because now Goddess is a little upset that she has to wait AGAIN. Actually she was a lot upset but oh well. At least Ms. Lori will take care of it. Mistakes happen, and she was only trying to help I am sure.

Not much else to report as the past few days have been all work and no play. I do mean all work. It seems everything is flying by. No matter how hard I try to catch up it is no use. Well as I am on a brief break at work I need to get back to the daily grind so until later!

 

I guess first and foremost let me apologize for being away for such a an extended period of time. I am not sure what happened but certainly I lost track of time with too much work.

Update goes like this work, work, and oh yes work. LOL Seriously speaking Ms. Lori now has the device back in hand fixing her good will. Goddess has decided that regardless my time out of lock up is done and she is insisting I get back in, even if it is the CB6K. While it is a plastic P.O.S it does do the job and it is fairly light weight so hey. I got out as many of you will remember because I was in the process of doing some construction on the house and while I can work fairly easily in my day to day job, there is just something about construction work that says, HELL NO. As I am almost done with the second room I assume the time out is to be thankful for.

Goddess has really paid little attention to the fact that I am out, or in for that matter. She too has been extremely busy and truth be told if it was not for my complaining about lack of affection on her part I probably would still be out for a while. I guess that is what I get for opening my mouth. LOL

I wish there were more to tell but right now it is all work, and certainly no ply for either of us. I am excited that the remodel is almost done! Right now I am laying hardwood floors in our new home office, and well let's just say that sucks. Later everyone, time to go get caught up on the other threads here.

 

Hello again gang. I sure wish I could find the motivation to keep this thing updated. Then again I wish I had something to update. I have been in and out of lockup for the last week or so. Just to see if perhaps I could spark an interest in Goddess again I took the liberty of locking myself up and giving her the keys back. Oddly enough this elicited a huge smile. She so loves that moment. So my problem is why does that moment fade so quickly. I am beyond frustrated lately with stress from work, kids, money, and oh yes work again. I guess she is too as the intimacy has gone out the door, almost completely. For the first time I am questioning whether this so called lifestyle is contributing to the mix or not. I mean the first time we "played" with this there was a more than a few times where she had me going down on her, she would kiss me erotically, and even some verbal tease. These are all things that let me know she was enjoying this and truth be told they were the same things that drove me to want to continue. Now it is in and ignored. This has little long term desire for me, none as a matter of fact. I know it is about her pleasure and all but seriously is there a point to being locked up with no attention at all? Is it possible that this is now a turn off and she just likes the fact that I will lock up? The only saving grace is the the 6000 has become so second nature I can almost sleep all the way through the night. However the Lori device is due to ship out tomorrow meaning it should be here sometime this week. Once I am in this there is only one key now as we somehow "misplaced" the emergency key. Once she has me in there is no way in the world out. My fear is that this will continue and the lifestyle I once craved will ultimately drive a bigger wedge between us as I begin to build up resentment or something. The good thing is that being in lock up at least keeps me off porn sites and thus eliminates and frequent wanking. I don't know but I am not sure how much longer I want to do this like this. Well enough rambling for tonight. I just finished a wonderful motorcycle ride in a cool 60 degree night air and THAT is something to relax just about anyone, at least me! Night all.

 

Thank you all for chiming in and especially you locked away.

While I appreciate your candor, lockedaway, I think you are missing the point in my posts. I am not complaining I am simply stating my worries with this lifestyle as a whole. There is a huge difference of taking what she dishes out and realizing I asked for this, then submitting to lock and key so she does not have to worry about "us" Even last night when we talked I made a comment that lately I feel more like room mates and she agreed. Neither of us are sure why or if the lifestyle itself is even having anything to do with it. For some a 24/7 wife led relationship is their ultimate desire. For US it is not. We started this as a game, yes. We continued it because it was having some profound results of making me focus more on her, reduce my edginess, and keep me from masturbating thus focusing on her needs more. The problem is now we are way beyond the lifestyle being an issue. Again I would love to be teased and used as you stated, locked away, but the bigger picture is that unlike some, I still want to be acknowledged in the relationship. Of course everyone, well most everyone, wants to feel wanted, but we are talking going from 120 MPH to reverse. I guess perhaps if I was a lifestyle submissive them perhaps being locked up all the time while she lives her life without me would be acceptable. However, I am not nor did either of us ever want that. Even upon asking her I know from her mouth that is not what she wants still to this day. As far as pressuring her into play I am not even sure where that came from because I can barely get close enough to kiss her goodnight let alone anything else. I learned a long time ago constant banter of sex equals constant rejection and increased stress on her part. And for the record if this is what the life is about then no I don't want to be locked up. In fact I only went in voluntarily this week because she said to, so I am assuming she still wants some part of it. Unlike some if she came to me and said no more of this, however reluctantly I would cease right away. Nothing is worth losing her and in a mind like mine fantasy can be recreated a hundred different ways.

@subhubinpa
Thanks for your comments as well. I agree with you all the way in that I never, EVER, expected her to turn into a full time Domme. Truth be told my character would have a hard time with that. It was beet into me that the man is the head of the house blah blah blah. I sometimes wonder where our boundaries are as a couple. I think in all honesty there is something deeper here that is causing problems and I can't help but think it is my career, or something in that regard. If women have midlife crisis then perhaps I am in the middle of it. LOL And please by the way all of you know that no one here is stealing my thread. I am a firm believer if you want something private in your life you don't put it out here for the world to see, much less not expect someone to have their own view.

In closing I guess let me make one thing very very clear. I love this woman more than I have loved anyone person in my life. It is this love that leads to the same frustration because unfortunately as a red blooded male the way I show love is through cleaning, cooking, care of the house, taking her out to lunch, telling her I love her, etc. The way I perceive love is by the affection she returns in a physical sense. To clarify this, it does NOT mean sex to me. It could be something a simple as her coming up to me to kiss me passionately, her getting a little handsy, something. I do these same things but I guess this is where the chemistry make up of men and women are different. Well enough of my rants for the day, take care everyone.

 

Thanks for your input js! Unfortunately we just had lunch together and the verdict is out. The good news it is not the chastity thing causing us problems. The bad news it is "us" and she has no desire to toss this into the mix. So as of now I am back to being completely clueless as to what I did, or do to continue this cycle that never seems to end. I guess the part that worries me more than anything is that this "cycle" seems to be the same in every relationship I have ever been in. It makes me question the fact that it may just be me. If this is the case I wish for once I could get one person who says it is "X". It is always the same, it is not you it is me. it is not just you it is us, but in the end I am left with the common denominator of it being me. Harsh? Who knows. All I know is I was given the key so to speak at lunch with the words, I don't want this right now. I know marriage is work and relationships with kids take even more. But on a purely selfish note I am tired of it always being work with little time to enjoy the fruits of the labor. Surely there has to be a better way. Not sure when I will post again but for now I am taking some time to try to find, well me I guess. Then perhaps I can find us. Hopefully she is doing the same. It very well may be risking her saying there is no us, but I guess that is the risk I have to take because I am not getting any younger and I refuse to live a life where I can't enjoy the one I love. Oh and for the record this is sooooooo much more than just about sex so please don't even go there.

Later everyone...