When?

about 3 years ago

 

Craving denial is a weird kink, I'll admit it. I'm still a little confused by why it turns me on.

Chastity and specifically her control of my orgasms has been creeping like a vine into our sex life and the more she takes control, owns the control, the more I want it.

I have proven to myself that self-locking and having access to the keys isn't a workable situation for me but being controlled sexually by her is life changing.

 

Over 11 years ago when I got my first cage, tried it on a few times, then wore it for a week or so before my wife noticed a big change in my behavior and asked what was going on. I showed her the device, and she demanded the keys immediately.

 

She didn't notice a cage on your dick? Wow!

 

About 8 years ago when it became real.

 

Even after being locked 24/7 by my Wife for over a year, I still struggled with it. Finally my circuit breaker tripped and I decided since it wasn’t going away, I’d accept it totally. Best decision ever. I’m at peace and I just focus on my Wife’s needs. Yes, that was her goal, and she used chastity to do it, and I totally don’t care. We get along so much better now lmao

 

agree completely, though i never did the self-locking thing

 

Nope. PIV sex was not a regular thing by then. We still had sex, but it almost always involved the dildo and, if I was lucky and asked nicely, I could maybe sometimes put on a condom and have some very quick intercourse after. I didn't even try to hide the device. Just didn't show it until she asked.

 

for me it was as soon as i put on my first chastity device over 20 years ago, my sissy tendencies came about four or five years later

 

When finally finding the right fitting and comfortable cage for me last September, making it through my first Loctober, and couldn't bring myself to take it off in November, and my sissy and feminine side became stronger...no going back

 

Congratulations

 

When she bought a time lock box and put the keys in for the maximum time of 41 days.

 

Yeah, that would do it.

 

That feeling is very similar to what I experienced. She broke me at some point, and I accepted her control, and things have been very good since then. I wish she had done it years earlier.

 

What did she or what happened/changed? Curious minds need to know

 

Will let you know when I get there.

I mean, there is no question I am hooked, but part of me still fondly remembers being a stallion on the open plains, just beyond these corral bars...

 

What did you buy that worked so well for you?

 

A micro nub, now I have several for my small clitty, especially in pink...

 

It was during a period of time where I wasn't getting what I wanted (physically and sexually), because of where we were staying at the time and her discomfort with having sex in those conditions. I was used to fucking every day, so this was a big change, and it was hard. So I got no release for way too long (it was probably only a week or two, which at the time felt like forfuckingever). I was losing sleep, losing my marbles, losing my patience, and ...

At some point, I just broke. It's as if the only "out" that I had left was to give up whatever control I thought that I still had. So I didn't get my release, and in exchange, I agreed that from then on, for the rest of my life, that we would have sex when (and only when) she wanted it, and I would never complain about the topic ever again, nor would I ever pressure her for sex ever again. My "release", so to speak, was releasing any power in the relationship that I thought that I had. The act of accepting my state of powerlessness was my only release.

And it worked. I was shoved into that place which I've since learned is called "sub space", and I stayed there until she let me out, some time later. But I was hooked, addicted to her power over me, and (almost always) desperate to get back to that place where I joyfully accept her complete control.

After a year or so of this (honestly, I have no perception of time on this topic, it's all a beautiful blur), I agreed to obey her in all things, and accept her leadership in all things. I think by this time, we had also been using the cage for some time. Somewhere along the way, I had also promised her to never masturbate again.

But even though it only took her a few weeks to crush and humble me into complete submission, it's taken her years since then to truly begin to understand and enjoy the scope of her power over me. Which is a fun process of discovery for us both, and it's still going. I'm kind of giddy thinking about it now.

And we recently had another breakthrough: When we have sex, I always come, and she really likes that. She loves me fucking her, and she almost always cums from it (and more and more as we've gone on this journey, she now cums multiple times from fucking, which makes me feel a wonderful sense of accomplishment). In the past, when I've suggested not letting me release, she's always insisted that she wants me to release, and of course I have always complied. This last time we made love, after her second orgasm, I asked her if I could not (!) have an orgasm, and for the first time, she agreed to this, and she agreed with a smile knowing that it meant I would remain in this submissive state for her.

It's a game, obviously. She's still in charge whether or not I happen to be in a submissive state, so there's no need to keep me there. But she does enjoy me being there, because my attitude is so much more naturally respectful and loving and doting and caring and obedient, and she loves the way that I desire to spoil her completely. It's the difference between her telling me to do something, compared to me proactively looking for things that I can do to please her.

I work full time and provide our only income, and I also take care of most of the "man jobs" around the house myself (hiring out the big ones), and over the past few years I have also happily taken on more and more of the chores around the house that she used to do. She still enjoys working in the kitchen and laundry some, but my personal goal has been to steadily build up to doing 100% of the house work, except for whatever things she actually wants to do. She rightfully gets to enjoy her time -- I'd like to think of it as a "life of luxury". My reward is to please her.

It's not always perfect. I still hurt and upset her from time to time (fortunately it's fairly rare now), but I have learned to immediately accept my responsibility when I do this and apologize and accept whatever her judgment is. And she still hurts me from time to time (also fairly rare -- it's almost always a lack of attention that hurts), but she cares and works to make it right. We're human; we both make mistakes and have our own failings and insecurities. And we are also raising children, and children can often create strife and stress and worry, and children tire her our (and sometimes me, too).

But I like the journey we are on together. Yes, I worship and serve my wife. No one is more surprised by my transformation than I am. But I am setting an excellent example for my children, and I am truly enjoying my new role as ... well, as an obedient and joyfully serving husband.

Wow, this is a long response!

 

@true42, thank you. That is great, and sounds wonderful.

I wish I could accept it so quickly. 70 days without any unlocks and I was on the way, I could feel it, but sadly going for so long without any unlocking is hard to do in the real and busy world.

 

I have never gone anywhere near that long. And she did break me pretty easily. I still have had a few tough times since then, when I needed attention and acted out to get it. But the two of us are getting better at it ... I'm getting better at remembering what's important (her), and she has gotten better at not letting me float off on my own raft of feeling-sorry-for-myself.

I guess that I'm just a puppy who wants to please her. I'm generally only bad when I feel ignored (that's the "feeling-sorry-for-myself"), and I'm learning to deal with that feeling much better, by reminding myself (out loud in my head) that "she decides", and my role is to support her, and to appreciate her even when she doesn't have the energy at that moment to pay attention to my needs.

So, 70 days. That's a long time. Did it break you? If so, did that state last?

 

No, it didn't despite not having a full orgasm for 7 months.

She is aiming for me to experience some kind of breakthrough though. She initially planned for 3 months, and then 4 months, but 70 days was where it stopped because of external committments.

Now she says she 100% wants to go 6 months but for now she wants to unlock me weekly, tease and deny, and then lock back up. She is enjoying the D right now but I am not allowed to see or touch my hard cock, and certainly not full orgasms.

It sounds like a dream for many here but you know what they say

I will say that around 6-8 weeks I was starting to feel normal, and almost blissful in the cage as I started to settle into it, and the INSANE HORNY died down.

We both enjoy her having all of the keys, and she seems pretty determined, plus the cage won't come off without tools anyway and if I did that it would ruin our kinky fun.

 

I'd have a tough time with only weekly unlocks.

I usually am unlocked at night, and she'll often tease me before we fall asleep.

The teasing does definitely speed the process up. At least for getting to sub space.

 

it is hard to say, I tried it with miss and failures for a year, it was hard for the next year too with a non supporting wife. She was very suspicious and don't see the finality nor believe in the genuity of the action.
"Just another pervert kink", no she has found the advantage all has change, I would say that it is around 3 year ago that she agree and I found it was the right move for me also.