Well.. its my first trip back in a while…. Two months to be more exact.
About two months ago, I called an end to this whole chastity thing with my wife, as well as an end to attempts and a Dominant / submissive style of a relationship. It’s not that I wasn’t getting anything out of it, I love it, most of the time. It was basically the result of the fact that we didn’t have the time to work on it, and she didn’t have the available time to learn about it, and we were stagnating. Being a submissive was starting to feel like a full time job for which there was very little compensation, and I started having very brief moments of enjoyment, and very long periods of resentment.
The strange thing was, that the brief moments where I felt us interacting on that special level, made up for long periods of time where I felt bad about the way things were going for a long time.
So turning it off, was difficult. I have always (in my opinion) been an exceptionally helpful husband. Some might call it “closet servitude” or one way submission. But you get the point, I was always serving my wife without getting any reciprocal domination from her. While we were trying this new dynamic, I took it too a whole new level. Backing away from that, or “resetting expectations” has been extremely difficult. Add the stress of resetting expectations to a long distance move (back on the east coast of the USA finally), the purchase of a new home (and everything that goes with it). It has led to conflict between both of us, some fighting, and some tempers flaring. Things are better and worse for us, but the last two months have given both of us the opportunity to have something to compare our relationship against.
I mean, since this was something that I asked for, and that I wanted, I was kind of always paying attention to how talking to her about my need to be submissive, and in chastity, impacted our relationship, and how I felt about it. Now after 2 months after “a break” I think she has something to measure it against as well. More importantly she has a turning point where she can compare before and after. Now this two months may not be a good measuring stick considering the amount of stress we have been under, but it’s something.
We have had very short discussions / emails about chastity, and this style of relationship over the last month, but only ever if they were initiated by her or questions were raised by her. I am done leading her down this path, and feel like she needs to find her own way. I think we were better off “before” than “after” and I hope she feels the same way, and wants to look at ways to get back to a good place. Whether or not she feels the same way is probably the crux of the matter. One thing is for sure, asking (begging) her to read the mansion or any lifestyle web site, or being impatient with her, or even bringing the idea back up to her just won’t work. I have kind of come to realize that after about 7 months of trying to be patient, and plodding along, I needed her to show an interest, and for her to take ownership of the process. When we left it I basically said, I can put the cage back on anytime she wants, I can slip back into being a submissive doting husband, but only at her insistence.
So here I wait. I won’t be saying anything to her or asking her directly about her interest, but I have to write about it to get it out. The people here have always been understanding. I doubt she will be signing on to read it here anytime soon, and if she does, than she will understand what I have written, and why I have written it.
About two months ago, I called an end to this whole chastity thing with my wife, as well as an end to attempts and a Dominant / submissive style of a relationship. It’s not that I wasn’t getting anything out of it, I love it, most of the time. It was basically the result of the fact that we didn’t have the time to work on it, and she didn’t have the available time to learn about it, and we were stagnating. Being a submissive was starting to feel like a full time job for which there was very little compensation, and I started having very brief moments of enjoyment, and very long periods of resentment.
The strange thing was, that the brief moments where I felt us interacting on that special level, made up for long periods of time where I felt bad about the way things were going for a long time.
So turning it off, was difficult. I have always (in my opinion) been an exceptionally helpful husband. Some might call it “closet servitude” or one way submission. But you get the point, I was always serving my wife without getting any reciprocal domination from her. While we were trying this new dynamic, I took it too a whole new level. Backing away from that, or “resetting expectations” has been extremely difficult. Add the stress of resetting expectations to a long distance move (back on the east coast of the USA finally), the purchase of a new home (and everything that goes with it). It has led to conflict between both of us, some fighting, and some tempers flaring. Things are better and worse for us, but the last two months have given both of us the opportunity to have something to compare our relationship against.
I mean, since this was something that I asked for, and that I wanted, I was kind of always paying attention to how talking to her about my need to be submissive, and in chastity, impacted our relationship, and how I felt about it. Now after 2 months after “a break” I think she has something to measure it against as well. More importantly she has a turning point where she can compare before and after. Now this two months may not be a good measuring stick considering the amount of stress we have been under, but it’s something.
We have had very short discussions / emails about chastity, and this style of relationship over the last month, but only ever if they were initiated by her or questions were raised by her. I am done leading her down this path, and feel like she needs to find her own way. I think we were better off “before” than “after” and I hope she feels the same way, and wants to look at ways to get back to a good place. Whether or not she feels the same way is probably the crux of the matter. One thing is for sure, asking (begging) her to read the mansion or any lifestyle web site, or being impatient with her, or even bringing the idea back up to her just won’t work. I have kind of come to realize that after about 7 months of trying to be patient, and plodding along, I needed her to show an interest, and for her to take ownership of the process. When we left it I basically said, I can put the cage back on anytime she wants, I can slip back into being a submissive doting husband, but only at her insistence.
So here I wait. I won’t be saying anything to her or asking her directly about her interest, but I have to write about it to get it out. The people here have always been understanding. I doubt she will be signing on to read it here anytime soon, and if she does, than she will understand what I have written, and why I have written it.
