Can we talk about the subdrop/post orgasm malaise?

So I'm not really sure here but the last two times after extremely strong orgasms, I have not felt the drop. I'm almost on a high of excitement that I got to release. Both after 4 week+ lockups. Wednesday night was it for me this week. I was back in the cage on my own accord by afternoon Thursday. I dread getting a drop and it hasn't really happened. I'm in a good headspace and seem to now look forward to the buildup. Could also be how we are individually wired.

 

Hubby definitely exhibited post-orgasm grumpiness and reluctance to getting locked back up. Putting the cage back on right away, rather than waiting an hour or overnight or whatever, seemed to help a little bit, but didn't fully solve the problem.

Duration seems to have a much bigger impact. The specifics will of course vary for everyone, but in hubby's case the "drop" was very pronounced if he had only waited a week or two between orgasms. A month turned out to be a good duration. There was still some drop, but it wasn't as severe nor did it last as long.

Ruined orgasms work even better. I haven't noticed any drop at all, even when done as soon as a week from the previous ruin. With ruined orgasms in the mix, I've been able to push the full orgasms even further apart. His last one was after a three month wait and I didn't notice any drop at all. It was almost like a single full orgasm wasn't enough to satiate the months of teasing.

 

In the past when I did get released from the cage for PIV sex I would really do anything to procrastinate putting it back on afterwards. I usually get locked up for long periods of time and when I was set free my mind would race, going back and forth with thoughts of wanting to be locked back up or stay free for just a while longer. I would sometimes not get back into my cage for several days after a release. I do also experience the “sub drop” and after about the second day I of being free my mood makes me question the whole chastity lifestyle.

My wife solved this in our great kinky relationship and started to use restraints before each release. She leaves them locked on until I submit to get locked back up in the cage. Depending on what restraints she uses, I can’t really stand it more than several hours before I get cleaned up and beg her to get locked up again. She says that she’s being nice by giving me somewhat of a choice of how long I can be free of the cage. It’s been about 5 years since I’ve had PIV sex with her without being cuffed or chained in some fashion. When I’m locked back up in chastity I do still feel the cranky “sub drop” mentality for up to 5 days or so. I’m sure it’s horomonal but it’s also probably some mental anguish knowing that I won’t be having an orgasm for a long time.

 

Holy crap three months is a long time! This contextualizes your answer to my question in the other forum. That kind of drop in mood from orgasm is something I guess I don't experience. For sure I'm not as enamored with my wife as before, but I'm not grumpy, irritable, or less helpful or kind. Also, it won't take long before I'm sexually interested in her again. You said the single full orgasm wasn't enough to satiate the months of teasing. That's how it is for us after four days. When I wait that long it's super easy to get off three times in a row with a little break in between. I guess it's just an issue of different refractory periods.

 

Yes, I agree. I cannot even imagine holding out that long myself. But it happens to be working for us right now. Everyone needs to find their own pattern, and that may even change over time. Back when we first started experimenting with orgasm denial, 3 days was a long time for us. Eventually we settled into a weekly routine, which served us very well for many, many years. From that perspective, 3 months is a recent anomaly. Perhaps down the road it will lose its appeal and we'll drift back to a weekly schedule. There really is no "right" or "wrong" number.

 

I completely agree. That's awesome you guys have found what works and also that you are realistic about how it can change.

Btw, we had some great alone time today, and she's sticking to making me wait. She really appreciated your post.

 

I’m very much the same. I never experience ‘the drop’ but my wife has always insisted in locking back up straight after an uncaged ejaculation, and she will always clean me up then gently wash me, all the time telling what a good boy I’ve been and how happy it makes her to see me all nice and secure again. I do get a bit lippy and cocky the day after an O but a few stern words and ‘the look’ soon get me back in sub mode.

My wife loves the power of making me cum whether I want to or not and really loves to watch/feel me explode for her when she decides it’s time, so I guess it’s just as well I don’t suffer the usual side effects!

 

I know I am in a way more vanilla relationship than most people here, but this has worked with me:

After an orgasm, and after a few minutes, she will start teasing me again, and take me to the edge a few times… and stop. Since I am not locked 24/7 usually, I don´t go back to the cage, but this takes me back again to a high level of horniness (where she wants me).

I don´t know if it could work as a way of reducing the drop

 

Thanks for sharing!

Do you experience a drop for any period of time after an orgasm? How long do you typically go between orgasms?

 

as i said before:

the period between orgasms is, on average, 5 to 7 days.


But I don´t feel depression or grumpiness. My wife says, in a playful way, that I get cocky for 24 hours. After that, I go back to been high on sexual drive (kind of horny) so I go back to lot of attention (always looking for a hug, massages in bed before going to sleep, etc).

regards

 

You described my experience perfectly. The accepted cure is to make him do something submissive right away such as relocking , cleanup, etc.