Am I too strict?

@Her_LM, help me with the math. When you posted on April 4, 2023 you said you'd been locked for 4 months, which means since about Dec 4, 2022. Yet, you just said you've been locked since Jan 1, 2023, so that would only have been 3 months when you originally posted, and you said you last orgasmed in mid-Jan, so that would have only been 2.5 months when you originally posted. I'm just having a hard time following the time line, could you please clarify.

 

Dude, sorry if my question caused you a punishment! So tell me, you say she denies you her body, so how is she getting her orgasms? Is she letting you give them to her (by tongue, fingering, etc)? If so, I think you're in a pretty good place. If you're being totally denied of everything, no O's for you, and you don't get to give them to her either, then I would vote "too strict".

 

You sure about that?

 

Yeah, Chaz has a way of voting for more and more lockups!!!

 

Yeah, I have to keep reminding myself that everyone is different and to each his or her own. But in our relationship, she would be considered too strict, especially if she is giving herself orgasms. My wife and I believe we each should be the source of one another's sexual pleasure. I will serve my wife and give her orgasms / physical pleasure as often as she wants... if she goes off and pleasures herself, she robs me of the joy / pleasure that we share together. It's very hot / erotic to make her climax. And it's very arousing to her to tease me and give me an occasional O.

But if Her_LM is okay with his wife pleasuring herself, who am I to say it's wrong. I just think intimacy is the greatest when we pleasure each other and balance our orgasms out to maximize our intimacy (emotional, intellectual, spiritual & physical). When one aspect of intimacy is missing, it often leaves us both feeling disconnected and a bit unloved. Figuring out that balance for each of our relationships is what makes the journey so enjoyable. And just know that the balance may / likely will change over time as you mature and grow older and figure things out.

 

@littleguy3, very well said! Or as they say in Parliament in the UK, "here, here".

 

I'd say yes, she's too strict. I have no problem with her deny you orgasms, because that's good for you, but you should be the one giving her orgasms, then her pleasure becomes your pleasure.

 

Agreed. For me that would be a deal breaker. I would consider it abusive. But if that's what someone is into then have at it.

 

I’m a wife. My perspective is that like other’s said if this is what you want then she’s not being too strict, if you really don’t want it and it’s making you unhappy in the marriage and you’re starting to think about quitting it all, then yes, she’s being too strict. Chastity as we play it is consent-based, not actual literal for real “I want to escape and never return” torture. So like everyone else said, talk about what you really want (sounds like you’re actually happy with exactly the way it is). But it’s lame to try to prove that she’s “unfair” by asking a bunch of other people. What’s that going to do - you’ll shove it in her face and she’ll feel bad and relent? Is that what you want? No? I didn’t think so. So stfu and stop your pity party.

(And to your wife: you go girl! He wants your body? Give him your hand. On his ass. Frequently.)

 

Sorry @Her_LM - I forgot that she asked you to post this. I think it’s fine for her to ask others. But still, you should stop trying to make her feel bad about what she’s doing.

 

Interesting reply! But if you re-read the OP, the question about being too strict came from the wife / KH, not from the husband. Is that how you are reading this thread?

 

My personal opinion is that your KH is doing it her way. So be a good boy and continuing to do what she wants.

Of course she may decide one day to relentlessly tease you, even to the point of orgasm. That too you must must accept without question.

It sounds like your relationship is like one of the photo captions - what started as your fantasy is now her game.

Many would consider your relationship to be perfect for them.

A

 

Yeah, I feel bad - I got too caught up in the “is she too strict?” discussion. But, she wouldn’t ask him to post it if she wasn’t wondering if she was doing the wrong thing - which means something he’s doing is making her feel guilty. And my thoughts, for the room, are that if you ask someone to do something for you and then you make them feel guilty for doing it, that’s unfair. Now I understand why doms make their subs thank them.

 

My wife does not allow me to orgasm. However, accidents do happen and we are working to eliminate them. I have been locked 24/7 for the last 12 years and for 15 years before that I was on the honor system while my wife had a full time girlfriend for sex. While it was fun watching them have sex, they insisted that I watch, they only allowed me to assist them in giving each other orgasms like licking feet or kissing breasts, etc.. All I was ever allowed was masturbation while they sexually tortured me and made me moan in pain.

I do not get ruined orgasms anymore since my wife sometimes got carried away in her own orgasm and forgot to let go of my cock in time. Now I am either locked during sex or my hands are cuffed and tied to my slave collar so I cannot reach my cock anymore or my wife just keeps me locked so she cannot play with my cock and instead just hurts my nipples and balls. Sex is only for her pleasure after 30 years of letting me join her in bed with all of the girls she invited into it.

 

I'd say it is up to what you BOTH want to some degree. Do you want the choice to be strictly up to Her and you will submit no matter what? Does she want someone that will submit to her no matter what they want?

For me it is too harsh (that was my vote). Mainly because it sounds like she is not teasing you or allowing you any pleasure (even if not an Orgasm). I would be ok with her keeping me locked for months and requiring me to be hairless etc. But I don't want to be locked and forgot. If she doesn't allow me an orgasm...fine but she still needs to give me some sexual attention and play with me some.

To each their own but it needs to work for BOTH parties FLR or not.

 

I don't know... couldn't her own sense of right & wrong and fairplay be the cause of her sense of guilt? Don't most couples start out with the idea that both receive pleasure from sex? It's a leap for some women to start being the only one having an orgasm during most sexual encounters. My wife struggled with guilt at first keeping me locked most of the time. But the further I reinforrced the idea that this was what was best for my mental and emotional state, and she observed the results, she got very comfortable with it. Now she feels guilty if she doesn't tease me often enough. And I NEVER say anything to suggest that I'm feeling neglected. She can tell if I'm starting to get down and a little less bright & cheerful... not even that I'm getting grumpy or cross.

But we don't really know what's going on in their dynamic. You could be right.

 

Nope! No! Not changing my vote. You haven't convinced me! Not that you need to.