No safe word

More drunk postings by the one and only voice we should listen to. JB aka Jim Beam

 

We have never used a safe word because my chastity is real and not a game. Any bondage she puts me in is for punishment not pleasure. She is very strict and I have to comply or the punishment will be worst.

 

Mztlplik got the gist of it.

With a safeword, she knows I can take more if I'm not using Yellow. Without it, she has to guess where my limit it, and before I convinced her "Yellow" was real, she would almost always stop way short of what I could really take. It's sort of like being required to tell her if I'm on the verge of orgasm, so she can decide if she wants to stop or keep going. If that rule wasn't in place, she'd have to guess when to stop and would probably stop too soon.

I should probably make it clear what our safe words mean:

Green: I am really enjoying this and would like more
Yellow: I think I'm at my mental or physical limit and am not sure if I can take much more, but it's your choice if you want to continue and I will have to endure it if you do.
Red: Something is really wrong and I think I need help.

Red isn't for "ouch that hurts" or "I don't want to do this any longer." For us, it's only for something like "I think a ligament just snapped" or "I might be having a heart attack." The only time I've ever used it was for a cramp in my calf when I was tied to the bed. It's basically me letter her know something beyond the kinky game we're playing is going on and needs attention.

The chastity equivalent I think is an emergency key if I tore up my knee while she was out of town and might need to get an MRI.

Another way to put it, the words are me telling her:

Yellow: I don't want this (right now), but it's not my choice (and I'll probably think it was hot later, when I'm not quite so frazzled).
Red: I'm pretty certain you don't want this either, and I'll explain why.

 

There is no safe word for us in case of chastity. If there is a situation where I want to remove the device, I tell her and she decides on it. Also another situation where we have no safe word is when I am getting caned as punishment (not funishment). She would tell me at the start that there is no safe word to stop the caning/ whipping. However if there is anything else that discomforting like the handcuffs etc, then I can call it out, if I am gagged then I can tap my palm.

 

Mit oder ohne Sterben, sie werden auf diese Weise sterben.

 

If I’d had a steady partner for as long as I’ve been part of my local kink scene we might’ve gotten to a point where safewords were a rare occurrence. However, there’s always:

yellow: um, I’m pretty sure my arm doesn’t bend that way.

red: well, crap - now my arm bends that way.

… or whatever weird situation may randomly come up.

As to gags, giving the person a ring of keys or a squeak toy can solve that issue: drop the keys or squeeze the toy in code or whatever.

But for chastity, unless there’s an emergency in a very vanilla setting, I’d expect my partner to just talk to me.

 

My madam is a huge fan of CNC when she is sub it’s one of her favourites. bit we have both been doing bdsm together for over 20 years now, we both had safe words but no longer use them. We use mercy as reference point, to indicate when we are near our limit, but this won’t stop a session.
normally madam will indicate she will administer another say 20 strokes, but then it could be another 20 after that and another 20 after that and so on. Madam is a sadist and really enjoys it when she can see it’s really hurting.