Wife wants cum, I want chastity

Nailed it with prefer our partners to take control of our orgasms. If she wants PIV with orgasm that is your husbandly duty. You could always beg for her to stop you before cumming and deny you your orgasm. Keep begging whilst satisfying her and she just may grant you your wish. The fact she is already playing along with your fetish is a good sign. We all evolve in our fantasies over time and your wife will be no different.

 

seems to me its more about you than it is about her...you should work on that

 

[accidentally submitted 2 comments, disregard this one]

 

And this is a perfect place to reference the book Uniquely Rika. It really does help to flush out submission and what your true intentions are. The last thing I want to do is make my wife do more work on degradation and punishments. She likes PIV, so that means she gets it on her schedule and I will follow her wishes. If it were all tease, denial, and degradation, that would be me who is setting the script and is the wrong take if we are talking FML.

 

This response is close to home for me.

 

Solve it? WTF? Sounds like you have it made in the shade dude.

 

Yeah, no wonder why. Facials are 100 % a guy think. Love them, but why would any woman?

 

goo advice from someone who has certainly been around the block a time or two. Hope he listens

 

So much of this mirrors my own journey. 29 years of vanilla, this past year has been building steam and I have a feeling there won’t be a single fantasy or act we even thought of that we don’t end up trying. Take it easy and do what he said, gradually move the goal posts!

 

what does all that have to do with you wanting it your way...we call this topping from the bottom...but hey why listen to the advice of everyone telling you basically the same thing when you can have it your way!

 

My wife has always been off limits in the back door. Doesn't like to be rimmed either. She has however, take an interest recently in making me bend over and show mine, and actually penetrated it with a dildo yesterday for the first time in many moons. Get the feeling she is going to use a strap on before too much longer. Don't know where that came from, but I'll bet it's part of the power trip she is on that just seems to keep expanding. Taking a man anally drives home "not only aren't you fucking me anymore, I'm fucking you. Bitch".

 

Self imposed monogamy can definitively be challenging when we're not quite on the same page with our sexual tastes, but it's what we signed up for and what we work with. My wife isn't enamored with cum, per se, but does get a lot from making me orgasm. Occasionally she will tease and deny me, but other than that she (generally) orgasms until she's done and then pretty much leaves it up to me if I orgasm or not.

If I'm going down on her and not Jonesing particularly badly to fuck, stopping is easy. But, going down on her always fires me up, or it's obvious that she wants to finish with me inside of her, so that's what I do. She has become adept over the years at teasing me and making me desperate with need on the road to that place, so she usually "wins". Sometimes I just convince myself that "I can stop after just another thrust (or two, or three)" and don't make it. She seems to like that.

So, willpower doesn't always win but it's a nice problem to have. If I can summon up the determination put on the brakes and stop after all of the foreplay, oral, and whatever else leads up to that crisis of willpower, she is still happy. She won't stop me, but if I can't stop, it's not on her to top me and she's not going to stop me until I'm done either way. She's come around to the fact that it's not a failure on her part if I don't orgasm. I guess it's a failure on mine if I do .

Anywhoo, while it's not 'traditional' chastity or orgasm denial, it works for us and may be worth exploring to see if there's some middle ground for you guys where she doesn't deny you orgasms (even if you want her to) or herself the pleasure of nutting inside of her. If I want that delicious simmering frustration of not getting to cum then it's on me to stop. Maybe she'll let you work for it and resist cumming to get there?

Best

 

My wife is the same in a lot of ways! Maybe they should exchange ideas? Lol
Sometimes my wife will allow me to not cum for 5-7 days as a challenge. Only allowed to edge. Whether it’s masterbation or PIV. This helps with the build up and when I do cum, I’m only allowed to cum in her. At that point it’s usually an explosion which she likes even more. Gives both of us what we are looking for.
I will say, I generally fail making it to the 5 or 7 days. During PIV, I enjoy watching her climax over and over. I’ll usually ask her to cum again, when I’m reality I should have stopped. She still gets what she wants, and I usually get to start over.
So many times though, I’d wish she would tell me I’m done after she has what she wants and I have been edged. Especially when I get to the point I’m begging to cum. Or giving me a chance to cum within in a time frame, like 30 or 45 sec. If I don’t, then not being allowed to.
I am above average as well, but we play with dildos larger than I am. I love being locked and using a 9” strap on. I believe she feels that is the next best thing to PIV and me cumming in her. The build up and experience from the build up is what I believe is why she allows it.

Good luck! Maybe if your wife is on here, they should chat!

 

not something i've ever tried, but you could suggest numbnig cream? from what i've heard everything will still physically work, PIV will proceed as normal - but you won't feel it?

 

I've used emla. But I need viagra or some such to help. Even after the total numbness fades, at times, orgasm is just out of reach. It is hard to describe the emotions felt when I realize I'll need to lock up without an orgasm. My wife enjoys a wild ride on those rare nights.

 

I have tried numbing cream a few times. It's pretty amazing (and weird) when it kicks in ... like the experience of too much Novocaine at the dentist, except a different part of the body. It's the surface that goes numb, so you still "feel", it's just that the skin itself feels nothing. So the most exciting sensations are gone.

 

I've never been able to stay hard with numbing cream, although it sounds fun. I asked my urologist and he said that it takes stimulation to keep an erection, so there's a fine line between not enough and too much and 'too much' is different for everyone.