We have an active chastity lifestyle for eight years now that’s leading into an FLR and recently we have decided to create an informal contract. Something for him to follow, rules, her needs, his daily duties to make her life easier. This contract consist of if he schedules a date or says something he’s going to do and doesn’t do it. He is accountable for it which then bears consequences. This contract is to help him better himself as a husband. The contract also states weekly evaluations on how he is keeping his word and patience as life goes on. This will not be an easy task, but will make us very close, we think. what we want is 100% clarity in our relationship. Does anyone else follow some sort of menu or contract? We all live in a scheduled society with very busy lives and to be reeled in and be able to zero out reality it almost seems like a natural therapy.
We have some written rules, but nothing formal, yet. We both feel we need something more concrete but have yet to formalize a document outlining anything.
Contracts seem like this grand idea starting out. I agree they can be helpful in beginning setting boundaries etc. In end they're useless though as legally they're not enforceable and the relationship is constantly evolving.
Seems as if this will help me to submit more and consecutively almost as a training method. I feel when I return from work it would be of great power to be able to quickly forget it and focus on my queen as she deserves. So to turn off our world as soon as we step into her world she wants, is a huge turn on but is a slow and grueling process, it’s hard to switch that quick so the though I guess is to have some guidelines and limits, but she is in fact in control of all request or negotiations, it will be an advancement for us as she grows and intensifies our long relationship it’s a beautiful thing.
We don't have a contract but it is understood that she is in charge and I obey and she has established rules and expectations for me to follow. A contract may be a good starting point to establish expectations but it is useless unless it is enforced. If you enforce it, then great - it is a good tool to measure obedience. The other challenge is that things constantly change so the reality is you would need to constantly change the contract as your relationship evolves, and this can be burdensome. Rather than a contract, my wife has weekly review sessions with me where she reviews how I did during the week and sets expectations for the coming week. She can choose to add new rules anytime she wants. Everyone is different so if it works for you, keep it up.
Ok, we have a contract, it outlines our entire relationship and what is expected of either partner. It doesn't specify chastity or cunnilingus... it states Her sexual interests are varied and evolving and I am willing to engage in whatever she wants as long as it doesn't violate A B C. My hard limits... It states she has specific grooming standards for me and they must be followed. We didn't put down what specifically they were because she changes them... or may change them. Like like the elastic clause of the constitution... changes can be made as needed, as long as they don't violate these principles.. If it gets specific it's too restricting, it needs to flow and evolve.. at least for us. We also put in , that it can be canceled at anytime by either partner, BUT if that happens.. we are thru. Amendments can be added twice a year or so... if we both agree it can be changed.. if we just made a change and now someone wants another.. we may have to wait. It's fluid, it changes, just like the relationship.. we are real people living real lives with real jobs...
I appreciate all the info from different relationships, it’s always a work in progress to keep the flame going. Tom I agree totally how you state it like her constitution as a subordinate it is my duty to uphold it and improve as well there are so many moving parts to it but bottom line is it must be established or it drifts. Thanks for a different perspective.
Yes, my wife and I do have written rules: 1. I can never ask to be opened if locked; however I can ask to be locked, if I am not. 2. Her orgasm — I pay her $30; 3. She punish me with a whip — I pay her $50; 4. She pegs me — I pay her $100; 5. She orders me to put on my cage — I pay her 100$ 6. I remove the cage withot her permission — $500; 7. I cum without permission — $500; 8. I put on a cage withot permission (when not locked) — $500; 6,7,8 have never happen. Also we have five short orders for me.
When we started, she did some pretty heavy googling, and knew more about some of this than most within a week. She is an all or nothing kind of person, and wrote her own contract. Although she called them commandments. We were very strict about them our first year, then things evolve, new rules, new expectations, but not something we wrote down a second time. I think she brought up the contract, more to set her boundaries and what she wanted this to be, than really worrying about the consequences of violations. At one point, she was into domestic discipline, but the fact was she only enjoyed it when it was play, and wasn’t all that interested in it when it was used as an actual punishment. We evolved, and the paperwork didn’t catch up, and we didn’t feel the need to write down what we both know.
We have a contract from when we first started our bdsm/flr lifestyle, I got some high quality paper and printed it all out and presented it in a nice wooden box. It’s still at the back of the play cupboard.