Forced in to Chastity?

I’m going to add a slightly different perspective. I stay locked as a sign of my devotion to my wife and my commitment to my word. I am much more oriented to physical contact than she is; just because I tell her that my cuddling and touches and caresses are nothing but that, she occasionally thinks “I am horny”. She is usually right- I’m a guy, and will normally go there, but more often than not I just want to touch. Being locked until she either unlocks me or requests I unlock proves my motives as I will never beg or request an unlock on my own. She hasn’t committed to being my Keyholder yet, but I am patient.

 

Maybe organ harvesting is her kink who are you to judge lol. Really though that's exactly right, agrees. As in has a say. Any healthy functional relationship both parties play a role. The fantasy can be fun for sure but in end reality is we allow what's done to us. Nobody here is a femdom captive being held against their will on strapon Island.

 

Well, despite my long record and activity in the community, being locked wasn't my first choice for a kink. Nor my second. Hell, it wasn't even on the radar! It was more that after trying to get my wife interested in various other things (to no avail), I showed her a cage that I had made after some inspiration from the old Altairboy site. Turned out that keeping me locked was the only kinky thing she was interested in.

I decided that if it was being locked or nothing, then I was going to make the most of being locked. And over time, she grew to enjoy it more and more.

And that's how I ended up here.

 

I'm not sure a man can be forced into chastity, because tools exist and us men loving being horny.

"Oh no, please don't force the cage on my dick and make me wear a sex toy 14/7"

 

I can see it as a guy cheats the wife says wear a cage or it's over context. That's definitely coercion but a choice is still there. Likely though if he wants the fix things he'll wear it.

 

Here's a great website with a link to an article that outlines the author's thoughts concerning Consent:

https://gynarchyworld.wordpress.com/2019/01/10/i-consent/

I think it has some merit: consent my be given, initially, but may not necessarily apply after committing to a course of action

 

Thats fair not all choices are aways good ones.

 

Seems like a badly written rapist manifesto to me.

 

For me it’s more about a commitment we made than a choice to remain locked.

My choice was to wear a device to help me ensure I could stay true to my commitment to give up my orgasms in favor of her pleasure.

Chastity was my idea not hers but having gone down this road she is the one saying she cannot imagine going back to my masturbating ways and the damage it was doing to our relationship and I could not agree more.

I am enjoying the denial dynamic more than I enjoyed the momentary climax and neither of us want to go backwards. So am I forced to be in chastity - maybe I forced myself to do this with her help and now basically she says if we did not do it anymore she says she would not be able to live with me going back to my old ways anymore. I love my wife and so gladly give up not being free Willy to keep her happy and me denied and horny.

Does she force me to wear a device - well in a way yes - but it’s still “consensual” so is that forced? As humans we are too complex and all our dynamics are different and even change over time.

I just know my commitment which is my word stands and unless we both agree to change it - wearing a device remains the force that keeps me chaste.

 

I am a free human being and I have the free will to choose whatever I want to do without limits imposed on me, but inherent in that statement is the assumption that I have a personal morality and I avoid doing things that are morally wrong, there are some things that we can all agree are morally wrong... harvesting someone's organs without their consent, murder, violent felonies, harming children, etc. If I stood up and said "I am an American and I have the freedom to do whatever I want" I don't think you would say "No, you don't, you don't have the freedom to harvest someone's organs without their permission!" I think reasonable minded people understand that we all operate within certain moral limits and those moral limits do not contradict my statement that I am a free person who can make choices about how to live my life without limits.

Likewise, I do not think it is contradictory for a person to submit themselves to the authority of someone else and state that they do so without limits while at the same time accepting the implied limits of personal morality and the implied understanding that the person to whom they submit has a personal morality that precludes immoral acts.

I suggest that almost everyone avoids doing things that they consider to be immoral, for themselves and for those who may be under their authority, so as a practical matter that limit is really not a limit at all and to that extent someone who submits to that person can express their submission as without limits and for all practical purposes is real.

 

I’d say I’m compelled to stay locked, not forced. While I have the freedom to do what I want so does she. Chastity has become such a huge part of our sex life that she isn’t sure she’d ever be able to go back or what things would look like if I made her. So while I could take the cage off there may or may not be consequences to doing so that neither one of us can foresee and that uncertainty is enough to keep me caged and following her rules, even during the times I’d prefer not to.

 

Once consent is removed it becomes that

All these paragraphs to admit you have limits lol. This is exactly why I don't like the I have no limits or boundaries conversation. It becomes a contest in who's the most submissive or some nonsense. In end there's things you won't do. That is a boundary plain and simple.

 

Kinda like a femdom Hotel California?

 

No idea, maybe you could explain the link.

 

In the author's own words:
"[C]onsent is not only about saying ‘yes’ to a single heat-of-the-moment act [but] can be about signing yourself up to a major commitment that cannot be simply unconsented away."

 

How is that linked to a hotel?

 

Consent can be withdrawn at anytime. Let's reverse this scenario to a male dom and female sub and see if same perception still applies.

 

Hotel California is a 1970s song by the Eagles. One may enter the hotel, but may never leave it. The decision (consent) to enter is a single, one-time event that does not allow the possibility of leaving (unconsenting) at a later time.
This is consensual non-consent: a person freely chooses to give up their right to make further decisions, leave the relationship, etc (depending on the type of arrangement initially agreed upon). So long as both parties freely enter and maintain the agreement (contract) in full knowledge of the restrictions placed on their freedom (including penalties for breaking the agreement), then it is ethical (under contract law).
This basically describes a traditional patriarchal marriage (Christian marriage, especially), but may be reversed in a FLR: the power dynamic is made in the woman's favour.
In my case, I have agreed to wear a chastity device, with my KH (fiencee) having the power to decide when or if it may be removed: having made the one-time decision to give my KH the sole right to choose when and if the cage is removed, I surrendered my right to choose from then on.

 

Well there was me thinking “badly written rapist manifesto? Count me in!” - but turns out to be reasonably well written and a pretty sensible analysis of the theme. @JaySaysYes you foxed me once again!

 

The Roach Motel and the Hotel California were both released in 1976 so I’m not sure which influenced the other

 

I think I am trying to get my wife to hold the key against her will.
Is this a similar scenario to being locked against my will.
I am not having much luck with against her will so I may need to try to persuade her to hold it for me.
Once she does that then I need to work out how I can convince her to force me to wear the cage.
I think even if this happens, I will still be a willing participant.

 

In my situation, it would require losing all hope of salvaging the kink for me to destroy my egregiously expensive cage.

Besides, in the case of CNC, by the time I figure out/manage to get the thing off I'll be well past the anger stage and inching into the "okay that was actually kinda hot" stage.

 

Is it "forced" if she knew of chastity long before you, and understood orgasm denile's ability to change your motivations and thinking?

Is it "forced" if you are cuffed any time the cage is off, even for a second? And the only keys are in her very secure cage?

And is it "forced" if she uses your hormones against you to insure your continued compliance, keeping you "happy" with something you would never agree to otherwise?

Finally, when you have an interruption in those hormones, is it "forced" if you know the price of non-compliance is the loss of your relationship and quality of life?

Those points probably dont meet the strictest definitions of "forced". Maybe "manipulated" or "coerced" are better words. But I truly believe that us males have a weakness that women can use to control us, well beyond what we would normally sign up to.

And sitting here in my dopamine fueled compliant bliss I am thankful for it.