For those of you who don't know my story please see my thread "my Wife Found My Secret Box". A quick recap: 18 months ago my wife found my box o' porn which happened to have a chastity belt in it. She was confused and I told her it was nothing and threw it away. After discussing it in the forums here and 9 months of building up courage I finally talked to my wife about being in chastity due to masturbation frequency. I have been in chastity on and off since with very little discussion or involvement by my wife. I have since bought her the Male Chastity book for beginners which she has read very little of. She got addicted to the Shades of Grey books right after I bought it. I am my own keyholder. I would be in chastity about 20 hours a day, only coming out to work out or go out. After my wife and I had our last romantic encounter I decided to give full time chastity a try. I work out and do martial arts so it was a big concern for me. I am still trying to find a comfortable solution. I have not been out of my CB3000 for 17 days now. Even though I was in my CB 20 hours a day, not being out at all is proving to be a much different experience. On day 14, my wife and I were supposed to have some fun. It started getting late and I asked if she wanted me to use the Magic Wand and fingers for her. I pleasured her and afterword asked her to lay on top of me and tongue my ears. This drives me crazy! She giggled a bit as I squirmed and asked if I liked getting blue balls. I said it was incredible. My wife really enjoyed those Shades of Grey books and has some desires which I can't get her to tell me. I told her a few days ago that I don't know what direction to go when pleasing her. I told her there are so many different things people are into that it is better to just communicate. I am going to ask her to be the fulltime keyholder soon. It has been 18 months since she found the box and I have been taking it very slow. I am now in full time chastity! The sexual frustration level is at an all time high. I guess that's good?!!!
The following things are what I hope to achieve by year's end: 1. Have my wife be an active keyholder 2. Serve my wife as her husband in chastity 3. Have my wife use a strap on on me 4. Use a strap on on my wife while wearing my CB 5. Get my wife to tell me what turns her on! I told her I want to have nights where we do whatever she wants. I look at the list and can't believe this is what I want, but it is!
It appears to Me, that this is all about you. If you wish your wife to take control, try thinking about her needs.
x It sounds to me like your wife is not ready to take control. I think it's OK if you carry the ball for a while until your wife is ready for a lateral hand-off or forward pass. Otherwise you're never going to score. I empathize deeply with your wife's inability to express her sexual needs. I was the same way most of my life. It took severe emotional trauma for me to open up to my sexuality. I would not recommend that path, you're likely to end up divorced or dead. If there were one answer to getting a woman to take control of her man, and I knew that answer, I could make millions of dollars. But of course I would give it away free. What I find maddeningly frustrating is that they won't even try it, and if they'd try it a lot of women would love it. If they didn't, then at least they'd know for certain and everyone could move on. x
Thank you all for your replies. Unfortunately, right now it is mostly about me. I have tried many times to have her communicate what she wants. I have communicated more which is why it is more about me. The last sexual encounter we had I concentrated totally on her without having a release. I understand this was a big turn on for me but the underlying purpose was to show her that we can concentrate on her needs and wants. It hard to make it about her if I don't know what she wants! This is why I have taken it very slowly. I understand that there are things that I want that she may not ever be comfortable with and I am OK with that. But it definitely won't happen if I don't tell her.
Well I was finally released on June 17th after 28 days of being in my CB. I pleasured my wife first with my fingers and the Hitachi Magic Wand while I was still locked up. My balls were a deep purple. The she lightly tied my hands above my head and mounted me with the magic wand between us. This is how I came. No penetration at all. It was awesome! She then told me that I could tie her up next time. Hmmmm. A little hint as to what she might like? SO I went out and bought some light restraints as she was not happy with the satin belt she used. On a side note, my wife has brought up a few times how there is a rumor that our development is a well known swingers hotspot. SHe also suspects our new neighbors as being swingers because they bought a 5 bedroom house and have no children. I'm wondering if she is just intrigued or if there is more to this. Time will tell!