I was chatting here earlier today and the other member suggested that I lock myself before Mistress comes home from work. Unfortunately Mistress Keyholder has left the key out, but the questions are 1. has anyone else been locked at an another members suggestion? and 2. should I be locked? If it affects your judgement, I could remove the key temptation by going into town and leaving it with Mistress Keyholder. DB
I would say it’s up to your Keyholder, She is the one in control. You can text her and ask permission.
This is interesting only so far as I wonder sometimes how much of the chastity is desired by the KH and how much is instigated by the caged. I personally love being caged, when I ask the wife how she feels, she says she likes it but I always get the feeling the enthusiasm is more from my side of things. So this comes back to being more eager than the KH and if you are in fact pushing harder than what she wants then you might be topping from the bottom. At least that's my perspective.
I would never lock myself without my Keyholder either present or without her direct instruction. How presumptuous can you get!? I am in this with her permission and involvement, if I start locking myself up then what is the point? She is my Mistress, she is in charge.
It's the same old story, isn't it? If he gives her love, she'll give him sex, and if she gives him sex, he'll give her love. Men always ask the question how do they get her to do some specific act, with the emphasis on the device/scenario/fetish/whatever. If you asked the woman she's much more likely to say "first show me that you love and care about me, after that I'll do whatever makes you happy".
Its been a while since I originally asked this question, but I find myself in the same position today. We do not do 24x7 chastity, not even close to it. It may last for a few hours, or at most a few weeks, typically its 3-4 days. Our agreement is that either of us can initiate chastity, after that its up to Mistress Keyholder. I have expectations as does Mistress KH, there are no hard and fast rules - the overriding rule is that Mistress KH decides. It doesn't matter how much I please her, plead and beg, nothing it to have any influence as to when I will be finally released. If I self lock, Mistress KH will have a look, make sure all is secure and start with the teasing. She may let me out after pleasuring her orally a couple of times, but even that is not guarenteed to allow a release. So, the day of the question I did lock myself and it was a week before Mistress KH let me out. And she was pleased to see that I had locked up her property for her. So in response @C. Roc I don't need to ask her permission, I already have it and due to the nature of her work she is does not have access to her mobile phone. Once I am locked, she's definately in control. @Halm Originally early in our play with chastity I felt the same way, but after a decade Mistress KH is becoming more and more dominant and initiates many things that she wouldn't have done at the beginning. As many other keyholders have noticed they get more attention and devotion from their locked partner than they would ever have expected and that alone is a big motivation for locking me. Topping from the bottom is always a problem in subs, but once I'm locked I'm no longer in control. That's why there are no rules, only a framework of expectations. @Jasmic68 I acknowledge that your relationship is more towards the total obedience of your Mistress, but its not the one that we have as I have explained. There's no right or wrong way to do this and sometimes I do treat my wife as the all powerfull Mistress to be obeyed and permission saught for everything - we just don't do it all the time. Sometimes she does get me to repeat things back to her - "Please lock up my pathetic cock, Mistress". @bondinchas we're very open and broadminded about sex, chastity, BSDM and we don't have to think of a way to get something, we simply ask or talk about it. Chastity is just another aspect of our pseudo BDSM lifestyle. The answers to the question were pretty much as I expected, and you're going to need to vote if you want to see them. Somewhere in the fantasy quadrant in my brain I was wanting to hear every dominant woman to tell me to get locked without delay and to tell Mistress KH why I was locked. Ah well, dream on and wait for Mistress KH to utter these words instead.
I get this too from my Wife, In the beginning she was very much for making sure I was locked but after a year of ball escaping every device & gap combination possible along with sore spots she has lost a bit of that enthusiasm that she once had. She rarely tells me to lock up but I do know she prefers me locked up when Im giving oral to her. We keep trying and are saving for a more custom device but I doubt one will keep my houdini balls under control. (No piercing wanted)
I've just read my earlier comment and I want to apologise. It definitely comes across much stronger than I intended. I totally agree with you, there are no rules, apart from the ones we make for ourselves. Everybody does chastity the way that works for them and it annoys me when someone starts spouting rules and accusations that people are doing it wrong. I am sorry my comment came across as trying to do just that.