Oh my god the last few days I have been feeling like I'm going to die if I don't get to cum. I am barely functional at work because I'm so monumentally horny. All I can think about is how good it would feel to be inside my wife again or to even be allowed to masturbate. It's this big aching need. Then I think about how far I've come and how fleeting the pleasure is with an orgasm. How I'm always disappointed with myself afterwards and I think, no I don't want to cum. I want to stay locked up and denied forever so I can ride this intense wave. Then the horniness overtakes me again and I'm just awash in lust and desire. Who cares if it's fleeting damn it all, I want some! I need some! I swear I'd hump a sofa cushion if I could just get this cage off. Or who cares if the cage is on, just go get the wand and let it out. Then I swallow hard and remind myself it's not up to me and try to move on. Then I start over again.
I understand your feelings, the cycle of need and submission. But the big aching need I have is for her to exercise her authority, to make explicit that she's in charge and that chastity is permanent, and that I'll never have an unsupervised erection again.
That feeling of urgent need to cum? Been there. Not wanting to lose the horniness by cumming? Oh yeah. Being willing to swallow hard and see the big picture? Good for you! Keep up the good work!
It is overwhelming if you are thinking about it all the time. I understand and hope you find an answer that works for you.
I can so relate to this , been there many times, it is a never ending cycle , its funny you mention about thoughts of humping cushions , my mistress is very good at sensing when I am getting very frustrated and needy and in this type of cycle and has me do just that for her amusement, she will have me still caged lay face down on the bed and hump a pillow, whilst giving me a few well placed slaps with a crop and telling me not to dare cum , she knows fine well I can't anyway , the best I can ever manage is to slightly leak some, when she gets bored with my pleading for being let out of the cage to cum she has me stop and will say something along the lines of learn to deal with your frustration and come to terms with it, All this just makes things a thousand times worse and I am still stuck in the cycle of want it don't want it , I know for sure if I did give in it would spoil everything , I try and focus on other things but it still doesn't brake the cycle , chastity and frustration make excellent partners ,
yes ... the cycle. I would put up with the fleeting to be functional for a few days. but yeah, its not up to me so what's the point of wishing or hoping. lets do the math here ... 15-20 O's a year (some ruined). that is still about 325 days that I am out of my ever lovin' lustful mind. I can live with that.
I'm at 8-9 O's a year, and I've managed to get myself down to a constant simmering frustration. Through lots of conditioning with my keyholder, I don't crave the means of orgasm, so I have frustration, but no desire to masturbate or have sex, which can be very confusing! The good side effect of this is that I'm in no danger when unlocked, but I remember when chastity was such a huge turn on, and I couldn't wait to cum.
Yes we have all been there, what is the worst for me is the cage coming off and mistress wanting to tease me this is done almost to the point of no return. Then something cold to shrink things then back in the cage. All i can think about is cumming
You want to cum... but much more you want to not cum. Then it finally all calms doen.. then you rine and repeat. ...Such is the potential head-fuck of male chastity.
Its so much better [for me] when the key holder feels this way. If you thrive on this, you can never be satisfied with leaving the frustration levels where they are ... they must be constantly driven higher. And that makes it so much better, at least for me. It pits my discipline against wanting to give in to my desires ... which adds to the frustration! I am still on the honor system to some degree but occasionally go a straight week in lockup occasionally. Wanting to have an orgasm is one thing ... wanting to be able to touch myself or have an erection is a completely different level of frustration! Goddamn, I love being kept chaste by someone who wants to keep me that way.
You are right, it is not about me, it is about us. I hope she has the strength and perseverance to make the right choices for us. I hope I have the fortitude and faith in her to allow me to honor her choices. And yes, I am definitely taking care of her needs.