2017 - A new Chapter

I just thought that as I have read so many accounts of life-changing journeys on this forum, that I would start to journal my own situation.

Mine is a (very) long distance relationship with a gorgeous woman Elizabeth who I have been fortunate enough to have had as a very close friend for over 33 years now (we met at College when I was in my final year and she was in her first year). We were just friends over the vast majority of this time as circumstances never seemed to align to allow us to be anything else. We have helped each other with the ups and downs of life - and shared secrets and hopes and dreams along the way. I never in my wildest dreams thought that we would ever be anything other than just very close friends - but then we both started having marital troubles with our respective partners.

By this stage I had emigrated 12000 miles away from the UK, but I still owned property back there and I had to return to sort out issues I had been experiencing with the property management company. I took the opportunity to visit my friend and found - to my utter dismay - the mental state that she was in due to the stresses her marital troubles had caused. Over the course of a week we had many heart to heart conversations over the course of about 10 days, and we promised to keep in more regular contact. Elizabeth used my support to see that she needed to move on with her life (I was still just a very concerned friend at that time) and even though the time differences were not in our favour we used to talk almost every day for a bit.

Fast forward to before my next trip over to the UK - by which time she had separated from her partner - and we started to see that there were possibilities between us. I had previously shared some of the 'naughty' games I had played on holiday with my wife (who is the definition of Vanilla!) and, unbeknown to me, Elizabeth had been jealous that it was my wife was taking those actions with me rather than her. Elizabeth mentioned those 'games' I used to play on holiday - and I said that I was upset that my wife hadn't embraced those in any real way - just really going along with things for a week or so and then back to normality. My world was rocked when she said that even though she was in the UK she would give me 'instructions' on how/where/when I would play with myself!!! This situation carried on for approx. 4 months before my trip over - and true to her word Elizabeth got me more and more worked up until the morning of my flights.

A fantastic holiday ensued with the first time that I had been properly teased and denied orgasm (after wanting to experience it for so long in my dreams). It was on a drive back from visiting a friend near London that things took yet another step forward. She had been teasing me during the journey and (as it was getting near to the end of my holiday) she mentioned that it would be amazing to keep this intensity going and what did I think about wearing a cock cage?? I had about 9 months previously shared with her a list of things that I would have loved to experience in my life - and wearing a chastity cage to heighten the experience of being teased/denied was on that list. At the time she said that she didn't understand that and wouldn't like to see me in one at all..... And now here she was making exactly that suggestion. Well she was actually playing very slowly with me at the time ( I was driving on the motorway/freeway at the time!) - and by the reaction my body gave she was under no illusion as to how much I wanted that to happen. So on my return home I ordered a cheap steel CB6000S knock off from Aliexpress- and things then started to get serious! That first cage worked in terms of me experiencing being locked (albeit under Elizabeth's directions and control), but it was incredibly heavy and not really suitable for daily wear to work. Also the design caused me some issues with being pinched - so I wasn't getting the experience that I was wanting. However Elizabeth was loving the fact that she was in control of me. My telling her on an almost daily basis how much fun I was having with this and how I loved her bing in charge helped her self confidence no end as well.

https://www.aliexpress.com/item/Met...32285049596.html?spm=2114.13010608.0.0.BHqLH0

So time for a new cage - one that was lighter and that had a solid ring. As I had experienced a degree of 'slipping out' of the first cage (due to a combination of the weight of the device and my bodies changes during the day) I was very pleased to find that this new cage could come with rings in between the standard 40/45/50 rings - so I ordered a 45 and a 42....

http://www.dhgate.com/product/stainless-steel-small-male-chastity-device/253955071.html

Well the difference was massive - both in the level of comfort and security, but also the fact that this design was more 'open' which Elizabeth loved. So when we spent time on skype to each other she could see the effect that she was having on me! I have continued to tell her just how excited she makes me (she can see the evidence for herself!) and she is getting much more comfortable in exerting her control. She says that its a massive boost to her self-confidence knowing just how much pleasure I am getting from these experiences, and also the 'being in control' aspect turns her on!

I cannot believe how lucky I am to have found somebody who loves me enough to give me these amazing experiences. By giving her the reassurance of just how excited this journey makes me has given her the confidence to start stretching her boundaries. This has taken 18+ months, but she is now starting to fully embrace her control and is promising me much more when we actually live together. As @Jasmic68 has so eloquently put in his journals - to see the changes in the person you love becoming more confident in their control over you is so amazing and brings you closer together in so many ways.

So where are we now? Well we have decided that our lives are now inextricably inter-twined and that we want to be a family unit together. Elizabeth is planning on joining me on this side of the world once she can sort out selling her property, and her daughter is also planning on joining us as well. On NYE she dropped a bombshell on me.... The next time she is planning on letting me out of my cage is when we are together once her house has been sold! So it is looking like I am heading into potentially a 4 month or more lockdown!!



LockedByElizabeth

 

It just shows how it takes time for the keyholder (as Elizabeth was for my last trip - she HATED giving me my key back!) to become 'comfortable' with the idea that denial of orgasm is actually a good thing. I used to tell Elizabeth not to view it as orgasm denial - rather to view it as extended foreplay..... Just like she loves the sensations of somebody lovingly taking the time to heighten her sensations before finally giving her an orgasm - this is a way of her reciprocating with me. Initially her 'foreplay' with me
simply extended over hours, but as her comfort level increased and she realised that I truly loved what was happening then the duration increased.

Now that she understands that it is this heightened sensitivity that I adore, and with complimenting her on how she makes me feel and how lovely it is to finally share this with somebody who can help me with this craving, Elizabeth is starting to want to push my boundaries and to give me what I have wanted for so long!.

As many people have said the communication between the parties is key to the success, but it certainly can be done and I cannot wait to see how this year develops. We have come so far in the past 18 months - the vast majority of which has been done at a 12000 mile distance - so the idea of actually being able to experience this every day fills me with so much hope for our future together.

 

@DonnaSue - thank you for the kind words of encouragement. I cannot really influence the house sale - that is entirely in the hands of Elizabeth. However I do know that she cannot wait for us to finally be able to live together after all these years. My holiday last year just reinforced that desire as she was crying when parted at the airport and she was 'down' for about a whole month after I left.

@Joroincharge - I have had a conversation with Elizabeth and whilst she is very busy with her life etc at the moment she is going to consider joining when we are together here. She expressed concerns about her literacy, but I assured her that simply the fact that she was giving her viewpoint on our ongoing relationship would far outweigh any concerns she might have. So hopefully in time she will join.

 

Well I have had a few conversations with Elizabeth over the past few days (the 12000 mile difference between us leads to us having to work together very closely to be able to communicate on skype / other apps). Elizabeth has been indicating that due to our change of circumstances that she can now start to being much more 'in charge' of our relationship. I suppose that this is the classic 'be careful what you wish for!'

Previously we have been operating by Elizabeth giving me instructions to (for example) edge x times today.... or play with myself without getting close to the edge y times during the day etc. So there has been a lot of long distance teasing and me having the opportunity to play with myself. However now that circumstances have changed in our lives this has given Elizabeth the opportunity to be much more strict with me - hence the bombshell of her indicating that I would only be able to get out of my cage (apart from cleaning for hygiene reasons) when we are able to be physically together.

Initially I was of the opinion that this was simply 'denial' and not 'tease and denial'..... however this has once again demonstrated the importance of communication and trust between the parties. Elizabeth has said that she relies on me to advise her when her pushing of my boundaries becomes too much for me to take. She freely admits that she is relishing the opportunity to push my boundaries and to take me far out of my comfort zone - but she loves me and will never do anything to harm or damage me. So whilst she want to 'push' me she has (given the distance between us) to trust me to tell her when things are starting to get too much for me. I cannot emphasis enough how this kind of long distance relationship relies upon the open communication and trust between the parties involved (and that this is true for all relationships).

Do I wish that this would change? Hell yes as I am a man and the act of playing with yourself is simply so pleasurable. But I have willingly given over the control of that aspect of my life to Elizabeth so it would be churlish of me to want to have my cake and eat it! I have to trust in Elizabeth that if I say it is becoming too much that she respects my boundaries - but equally I have to give her the opportunity to really see where those boundaries truly lie. Also this is so affirming for her - to realise that I trust her that much that I have given up this degree of control to her - which make her blossom as a person and grows her self confidence.

If nothing else this journey has demonstrated that with open communication things that I never thought would ever come to pass have in fact been achieved. I just look forward to the rest of the journey with Elizabeth. I'm sure that the destination is not one that I had originally thought - but simply travelling along this path with somebody very special to me is beyond amazing.

 

@bondinchas - thanks for the kind words! Finding a soulmate is such a fantastic thing and I am truly blessed that Elizabeth is such a person!

An update from this past weekend.....

I have been having a few issues with the ring of my cage rubbing (or more probably the skin getting bunched up) and even using copious quantities of Vaseline I was still experiencing soreness where the ring was sitting. So Elizabeth said that I could stay out of the cage overnight Saturday and I was told to leave it off all day Sunday so I could recuperate.

Well Elizabeth could not resist the fact that I was out of the cage - so she took the opportunity whilst we were on Skype to get me to play and edge under her supervision. I have to beg her to stop ( I can go slow to try to remain in control but sometime Elizabeth makes me go faster as she loves to see me struggle). Elizabeth deliberately pushed me just a few seconds too far by ignoring my begging / my advising her that I was very close to cumming - so she made me have a ruined orgasm where she could see it! She gave such a dirty giggle when she saw my knees trembling and then the inevitable release ( I would say it dribbled out - but the quantity that was released was considerable). Then verbally chastising me for not following her instructions to not cum (even though she later admitted that it was her plan all along when she realised that I had to be free of my cage). The connection between us at that moment was so strong I could swear that she was in the room rather than the other side of the world.

I recaged myself this morning - thankfully the soreness appears to have gone away with this period of recuperation - with a smile on my face and the fond wish that one of these days that Elizabeth will be the one withdrawing the key. Till then I just treasure the phone calls / Skype sessions and app messages that we share during the day. For those of you who are physically with your significant others, enjoy your closeness, hold 'em close and tell them how they make you feel - cos its sometimes all to easy to take that for granted.

 

Well another weekend and another 'proper' opportunity to have a long conversation on skype with Elizabeth. It makes the conversations so much better when you can see the other person rather than having to rely on their voice over the phone. I find that I miss most of the non-verbal clues when I have phone / text conversations - those are the ones that sometimes lead to mis-communication and issues.

Our longest time on skype to each other at one time (was admittedly at a weekend over the Xmas holidays so no work pressures on either of us) was 5.25 hours!! And yes there was a fair amount of supervised teasing in that time as well! This weekends was a comparatively short 2 hours in total ...

I have currently reached the stage when even Elizabeth's voice when we were talking (she has a slight cold so her voice is deliciously husky) made me strain and swell in my cage. And the giggle she makes when she see's that effect just gives me goose-bumps. To top it all off she then started sucking on her own nipples all the while I was trying to burst out of my cage!

Compared to some of the people on this site the duration of my current lockup is relatively short - but Elizabeth has promised that once we actually live together then that may well change! She wants to see how I cope in my current cage(s) when we are living together before any decision on a customer made cage is finalised, but the information we are getting from the different sizes of base rings / cage styles and cage lengths is all going to feed into that decision. Elizabeth really likes the look of the Jailbird from Mature Metal, but she is also going to look at some of the work done by Aken from Red Chili Chastity.

 

We had another chat this morning and I had meaning to ask her for a while now what had caused her change in behaviour in becoming a lot more assertive and confident about her denying me. After all the vast majority of the time in her past she has been the classical wife/lover who puts her partners pleasure and orgasms before her own. I know this because of all the conversations over the past decades we have had about both her and my own partners and the evident lack of satisfaction that we were both experiencing.

Her answer surprised me. I had been trying to give her verbal encouragement of just how much I was enjoying what we were doing, and how fantastic she was making me feel. But apparently (whilst that was ok in letting her know that this was 'good' for me) it was simply time passing by that made her realise that she could be comfortable in being the dominant person she is turning into. My comments etc may have helped very slightly in that regard - but it was all from within herself that made the 'difference'. Now rather than being the typical woman wanting to make sure that the needs of her man have been met and satisfied - she is looking to exert her authority and do things in her own way and at her own pace, It just makes me realise how lucky I am that she is in my life and wanting to explore this kink / fantasy / lifestyle together with me.

 

Well another weekend and another opportunity for Elizabeth and I to spend a lot longer chatting with each other on Skype. However this weekend has left Elizabeth in a bit of a quandary which I hope you good folks at CM could maybe offer some advice on.....

Well I was allowed out of my cage for the first time in a couple of weeks to have some supervised teasing whilst Elizabeth used her wand on herself. Despite my begging Elizabeth to allow me to slow or stop my stroking she insisted that I continue - with the end result that I had a ruined orgasm. The moans that she was making which she had a couple of orgasms of her own certainly didn't help my self control!

However Elizabeth's quandary is that she both wants to keep me locked up for a period of time with no teasing or anything, and yet when she DOES let me out of my cage she wants me to be able to last for a 'reasonable' time. How do other couples / males manage the degree of control (self control or otherwise) to be able to last more than a few minutes? Note that Elizabeth has not given me what her definition of a 'reasonable' time is!!!

 

And its been a looooonnnnng time since I updated this journal - life just gets in the way.....

But my darling Elizabeth this morning advised me that she has sold her house!!! And the money is in her bank account!!! Which is just as well considering that I am due to travel over to be with her in the next few weeks!!

I must say Kudos to Jasmic68 with what he has been going through in his non C life and how much his FLR with Elle has helped them both 'survive' the tribulations that they have been experiencing. Thankfully my own situation is not quite as dramatic - but I know that Elizabeth has indicated that she is starting to feel more comfortable in being slightly more assertive in expressing her desires. As she has said to me recently she's not had the opportunity to spend time with me together which would allow her that opportunity - but that is going to change!!

So my life is in very short order going to be turned upside down and in a fantastically good way. I have tickets for my flight over - but more importantly tickets for the return journey which will also include Elizabeth and her daughter! At very long last I will be able to have a keyholder / partner / friend with me to share this journey of discovery with.

Amongst other things that I recently purchased for Elizabeth's birthday was an (much) larger dildo for the strapon for me to user on her. Elizabeth is not only looking forward to experiencing that, shew is really getting into teasing me about the size differential between that and my caged length. Its taken her quite a while to be comfortable teasing me on the phone / skype about this - so it will be very interesting to see how she does this face to face! Plus her daughter knows about me being in a cage (and has done for a while now), but she looked at a parcel addressed to me that contained some retaining rings for the dildo and asked what they were for..... Elizabeth explained and showed her daughter the dildo (and said that I will be wearing that to satisfy her as I can't when I'm caged!). Finding out that Elizabeth had said that was both fantastically arousing and also demonstrated that she is taking charge of this relationship and is very comfortable with that. At least with using the strapon I can keep going for as long as it takes to satisfy my darling love.

Hopefully once we are back together after this journey I can keep this journal a bit more up to date with our lives.

 

Well where do I start??? (apart from I'm back here again!)

The journey back to the UK was long - and I arrived back in late April to find that my Dad had just been taken into hospital!! Thankfully he's OK but that put a bit of a dampener on the whole trip home - and a lot of our plans had to be re-arranged at short notice. However Elizabeth was a rock and supported me immensely during that time. We managed to collect a few more items from LoveHoney for our collection to bring back with us - so there was a degree of 'naughtiness' as part of my trip.

The journey back was really strange as I had both Elizabeth AND her daughter sleeping on each shoulder at the same time .... It was nice to be so trusted by both of them that they were using me as a pillow to sleep on!

It's taking them both time to adjust to the new life and new experiences of simply living in a new country. There are lots of things that are almost familiar and yet different - so its a degree of culture shock that is hitting them both to varying degrees. However they both seem to be adjusting quite well to the differences in lifestyle - which is lovely to see. Plus it's the daughters birthday shortly and we are having an old school friend of hers that she has not seen for a few years flying across to spend their birthdays together. Simply seeing how she smiles so much makes me glad that she came with us to start a new life here.

To those people who are wondering what her daughter knows .... she has seen my cage on the bedside table and Elizabeth has shown her a cage on a website. So darling daughter knows (at a conceptual level) what 'games' myself and Elizabeth play. I doubt that she realizes just how much of an effect controlling a mans primal desires to have erections / sex etc has..... so is not aware of just how much 'power' or 'control' Elizabeth actually now possesses over me. But she keeps on making little comments (like tonight when darling daughter innocently said "that's hard", Elizabeth said "he wishes" and pointed at me whilst wiggling her little finger - and they both cracked up with laughter!) that make life constantly interesting!!

And myself and Elizabeth? Well its amazing to be able to live the caged life with somebody who loves me so much. Elizabeth is starting to grow much more comfortable with being in charge of me and my releases. I am trying my by actions to let her realize just how much she is arousing me by taking charge as she is. Things are going at her pace and (thanks to various journals on this site - @Jasmic68 / @Thatgirl and @Thatguy in particular) I am letting her do things in her own way. The journey is going to be very interesting!!

Currently its been over a week since my last orgasm (which was a ruined one) and I have had PIV 3 times with no release. Doesn't sound much but for Elizabeth to be constantly saying "Don't you dare" whilst riding me / sucking me etc is what I've yearned for. She is loving her control over me and it's giving her a massive confidence boost. I keep in telling her that I love making her happy - and she is starting to blossom a little...... I live in hope that I will see her bloom a lot more!

Finally (after reading some of the other journals).... Jasmic68/ / Elle - I hope that your legal issues / troubles get over soon and that you get time to enjoy both each other and your new family addition. Also Congrats to ThatGirl / ThatGuyOnTheInternet on your engagement (and getting the St Andrews Cross finished!). And a big welcome back to Mascara_Snake.....