A new chapter - New Partner maybe with chastity?

JamesD

JamesD

Long term member
Apr 28, 2017
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Just a quick update. This was my old thread for 'self locking'.

https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/my-current-regime-weekdays-chaste.56095

I've recently started seeing someone so things have changed and I feel I've entered a new life chapter. I've explored a litte kink with my new partner. She has said she doesn't want me playing with myself when she is not there, so chastity may be on the cards, but obviously this needs introducing slowly! Also scares me a bit as suddenly feels very 'real'. When I was self-locking, I was still in control to some degree, despite using the timer safe. With a partner it's different.

Will post the odd update as to how things are going.
 
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JamesD said:
Just a quick update. This was my old thread for 'self locking'.

https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/my-current-regime-weekdays-chaste.56095

I've recently started seeing someone so things have changed and I feel I've entered a new life chapter. I've explored a litte kink with my new partner. She has said she doesn't want me playing with myself when she is not there, so chastity may be on the cards, but obviously this needs introducing slowly! Also scares me a bit as suddenly feels very 'real'. When I was self-locking, I was still in control to some degree, despite using the timer safe. With a partner it's different.

Will post the odd update as to how things are going.
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Best of luck with the new woman!
 
I understand. I know my KH/wife would give the keys if I asked right now. I am hoping that will change and she will actually put them away where I don't know where they are. Being out of control does make things more interesting.
 
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Yes, I told her that I play with myself too much and occassionally wear a chastity cage to stop myself.

Last time she visited she asked me if I'd masturbated since. When i confessed she said that needs to stop and even suggested a device. I think we're on the same wavelength but I'm a bit nervous about it.
 
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JamesD said:
Yes, I told her that I play with myself too much and occassionally wear a chastity cage to stop myself.

Last time she visited she asked me if I'd masturbated since. When i confessed she said that needs to stop and even suggested a device. I think we're on the same wavelength but I'm a bit nervous about it.
Click to expand...
Did you ask her if she played with herself?
 
JamesD said:
Yes, I told her that I play with myself too much and occassionally wear a chastity cage to stop myself.

Last time she visited she asked me if I'd masturbated since. When i confessed she said that needs to stop and even suggested a device. I think we're on the same wavelength but I'm a bit nervous about it.
Click to expand...

Sounds like the same conversation my wife and I had over 30 years ago when we first stared dating. I am now caged 24/7 with an Evotion device that has a PA and frenum piercings incorporated and she has possession of the only key.
Be careful what you wish for.
 
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Just don’t overwhelm her with 20 years of pent up kink. Keep it simple: she holds the keys and unlocks you when she wants. NOTHING ELSE, unless it’s her idea. Don’t send her captions, stories or anything else. Let her grow into it and don’t be a pest. Don’t try and introduce denial because that denies her as well. Make it known you want out any time possible to be inside her.
 
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JamesD said:
Last time she visited she asked me if I'd masturbated since. When i confessed she said that needs to stop and even suggested a device. I think we're on the same wavelength but I'm a bit nervous about it.
Click to expand...

Sounds like you're good to go! As other said, don't push any other kinks on her (yet). Chastity is just to stop you from masturbating, that's it.

It was similar for me when I met my girlfriend (now wife). We only saw each other on weekends and she didn't want me to masturbate. So after a while I "admitted" that I was using a chastity device to help me and that I kept the keys in my car (I lived in a block of flats so the car was parked outside, which was enough to keep me from getting the key spontaneously). Then eventually I offered to give her one of the keys so she would unlock me when we met.
 
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sonhee said:
Sounds like you're good to go! As other said, don't push any other kinks on her (yet). Chastity is just to stop you from masturbating, that's it.

It was similar for me when I met my girlfriend (now wife). We only saw each other on weekends and she didn't want me to masturbate. So after a while I "admitted" that I was using a chastity device to help me and that I kept the keys in my car (I lived in a block of flats so the car was parked outside, which was enough to keep me from getting the key spontaneously). Then eventually I offered to give her one of the keys so she would unlock me when we met.
Click to expand...

That is lovely. I have actually told her I sometimes wear a cock cage to stop myself masturbating. I think you're right - the next step is to give her the keys for a day or so and see how it goes and feels.

So far she hasn't seen the devices and I'm a bit scared of that as chastity cages generally don't look sexy and I can imagine a woman simply asking 'why don't you just not touch it'. Of course it's not that simple - I'm an addict! We'll see how it goes. Might just leave a cage in the bathroom or my toy bag for her to see. Question is which!

We did go to an event where a guy was wearing a chastity cage, so she knows such a thing exists.
 
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JamesD said:
So far she hasn't seen the devices and I'm a bit scared of that as chastity cages generally don't look sexy and I can imagine a woman simply asking 'why don't you just not touch it'.
Click to expand...

If she doesn't like the look of the device, just tell her there are cute colored ones.
 
locked_top said:
If she doesn't like the look of the device, just tell her there are cute colored ones.
Click to expand...

I think I'll just leave my cheap metal one (for play) and my 85cm IIIDXY Cobra (very similar to Kink3D) ones out.
 
locked_top said:
So if your new friend asked you to stay locked between dates, that might be a problem.
Click to expand...

I might have to see her more often then.

It's strange as when I was self-locking, and had a keyholder, it still kind of felt under my control (to an extent). Having your partner and accountability is a much more scary prospect. I didn't really expect that.
 
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