Does 24/7 really mean 24/7?

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PuppyMastersPet

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Jun 5, 2008
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Master and I met a long time before we ever started having roles. We've been going out for 5 years and only started playing around with BDSM around 2 years ago. I don't think we're quite at the stage of a 24/7 lifestyle yet but It's always there in the backgound if he orders I obey. That could mean we do live the life 24/7 but I'm not sure?
We still have banter at eachother, make fun and mess around. But I'm not sure if I should be doing that as a slave. Should I show repsect at all times and be caring and considerate no matter what? Is there room for making lighthearted jokes at eachother when I'm supposed so show the up most respect?:neutral:
 
Hi Slave Kris,

It's a very good question, and I'll be interested in seeing the response.

For me, we never intend to have a relationship like what you describe. Mistress is aware that she only controls me as far as the bedroom door. Outside that we are equals. I'm not saying this is right or wrong.. just what works for us.

I would be inclined to agree that you are 24/7 if you obey orders whenever they are given. and theres always time for a joke :bigsmile:
 
24-7 can mean different things to every couple.

I can't say that our lifestyle is 24-7, and I can't say that it isn't either. I love dressing in girly clothes and mistress encourages it. I am denied release through chastity, while she has her stud visit her frequently (actually as I write this she is moaning in the other room). I can't wear what I want everyday or for that matter when at home, but I always am wearing panties and earrings and other items that remind me of my girlyness.

This works for us. We have a 24-7 lifestyle where there is some element of our play.

If you always obey then I would imagine that it is also 24-7 in your own way.
 
Wow... I have such trouble with this, and it's all down to communication in the end.

Today, I let charlotte be charlotte and she spent the morning in her outfit, tidying the kitchen... all is well.

Fast forward to this afternoon, we had to take baby swimming and on the way home I said I wanted a nap and a shower before my brother comes over, and the impression I got was "oh great, I'm going to have to look after the kids" etc, when what I would really have liked would be "I'll make sure you have fresh towels, the bed is tidy and what time would you like me to wake you with a coffee!"

We're not at that stage yet...nowhere near! Sometimes it suits me, and other times it annoys me. But if I want him/her to be 24/7, then I need to act 24/7, and I don't... I'm a softie!

I would love to get to 24/7 and we have the rest of our lives to do so, but I also see us mucking about, doing crosswords in fits of laughter and playing Xbox together... so maybe not!

Watch this space! :nerd:
 
I'm glad I'm not the only one that does the whole 'oh, do I have to routine',:tongue:. It can be hard being in role all of the time for both dom and sub I gues. I'm really glad I asked this question. If anyone else has there take please feel free to write what you like.
 
It seems as if every phrase or term in the BDSM, D/s, Fetish, etc. world has a definition that changes a little or a lot from one person to the next. My own understanding of such definitions change as I travel this trail, but I think that is a good thing all in all.

I can say that we feel our lifestyle is a 24/7 one, because we have agreed that Mistress can reward or punish for virtually anything I've done or said. That's not as treacherous as it sounds, because what is acceptable, or not, has been well established over the years, and she is quite fair about things. So, while we may go a couple of days, or even a week or two on rare occasions, between activities that a fellow kinkster would say is defintely D/s-BDSM it is still a 24/7 situation because everything is based upon our own customized D/s compact.

I know you know this, but it really comes down to each couple devising a set of behaviors that makes them both happy, most of the time. Striving for more is simply self-destructive.

Kinkish1
 
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Kinkish1 said:
It seems as if every phrase or term in the BDSM, D/s, Fetish, etc. world has a definition that changes a little or a lot from one person to the next. My own understanding of such definitions change as I travel this trail, but I think that is a good thing all in all.

I can say that we feel our lifestyle is a 24/7 one, because we have agreed that Mistress can reward or punish for virtually anything I've done or said. That's not as treacherous as it sounds, because what is acceptable, or not, has been well established over the years, and she is quite fair about things. So, while we may go a couple of days, or even a week or two on rare occasions, between activities that a fellow kinkster would say is defintely D/s-BDSM it is still a 24/7 situation because everything is based upon our own customized D/s compact.

I know you know this, but it really comes down to each couple devising a set of behaviors that makes them both happy, most of the time. Striving for more is simply self-destructive.

Kinkish1
Click to expand...


Very very good reply and what I was trying to say. It is what is right for the couple concerned. Once you are together and return to the play regularly, and maybe have small hints of it in every day lives, you are 24-7, even when doing the vanilla scene.
 
Had some really good replies thanks. Going off subject though, most 'normal' people may find our relationships odd, I think thats understud, but I belive that anything that makes you as trusting and as close as BDSM in general does then it has to be good. I don't think many vanila couples would trust eachother half as much as I trust master. I have to trust him, specialy with some of the pics and vids he has of me :tongue:.
 
In my book, 24/7 is more to do with mentality than activity.

I am 24/7 mainly because I am me and act as me, always... whether this is standing in front of the board explaining something or ironing.
When you go 24/7, the role is not something you 'play', it is something you 'are'.
 
Great thread

This is great and I really appreciate all the comments. My wife and I started as play but I would say it has turned into a 24/7 thing. As already mentioned it is communication. As a business owner our agreement was simple. She would never use her power, and she has it let me tell you, to control business decisions or other areas of our vanilla life. Does that mean that she won't send me a text that tells me how hot she is while thinking of me locked in a chastity device during the workday-absolutely not. It is a way for her to take a break if you will and gives a subtle reminder to me of what I asked for. As we have kids of our own the 'play' has to hold off till it is appropriate. Make no mistake about it however when the time is clear I am hers completely. While we try to keep the seperation of the two in place there are times during the day where those lines may get blurred, especially if she just enjoys a little tease during the day
 
Slave Kris,
I think the consensus is: 24/7 means whatever YOU BOTH want it to mean.

Some people are confident in the lifestyles they've chosen, and sadly, some not. (Roman Catholic here - A+ in Advanced Guilt :sad:) But maybe you should do the illogical, and apply some logic to the emotions. Maybe the following questions will help:
- Does it 'feel' right, forgetting the world for one moment?
- Does it strengthen your relationship?
- Being a Domme 24/7 is a drain on the energy levels. Are your 'time-outs' clearly marked or possibly even booked?
- Are you behaving like an adict? (Bigger / longer fixes) Perhaps quality, not quantity, suits you both better.

What ever your answers, it is obvious that effective communication is key.

Good luck
ptathuk
P.S. Good luck to the whole community too.
 
I thinks it goes without saying that it feels right. And as I said in my last post it has built a lot of trust between us both. I could be described as an addict I gues, but as a young person experiencing new things I think it's quite alright. Although I agree quality is always best.
As many people have pointed out there can be 24/7 without the constant domination from Master. I thinks it's all about finding the right balance, which we are slowly finding.
Any relationship is a learning experience which will go on for the life of the relationship itself.
 
I think what you say about trust is completely right.

I'm sure we all have infinite amounts more trust in our partners, due to communication and the freedom to express our every thought without fear of being thought "weird".

It wasn't that long ago that I worried constantly about pet wandering and being tempted back to someone his own age... makes me laugh now! Our thoughts are so interwoven that I can't imagine them ever being separated.
 
No such thing as 24/7 as a standard to adhere to, only a couples version of their 24/7

FOR US.......

chastity 24/7....

Released once a day at bath time to clean and shave (I got a foreskin so cleaning is important) Ma'am is present so I can't touch other than to wash it......other than that released at her will should she choose to tease it or torture it, our longest period of this was a full one year, however when the new device arrives I have 6 weeks to condition myself then it becomes FOREVER..........

femdom 24/7......

Behind closed doors I always address her as Ma'am, I wait on her hand and foot revolve my life around her and I'm proud to do so.....If someone comes into our space or if we go out vanilla then we become A****** & M****** on the grounds that we both believe it's rude and ignorant to embarass other people, and embarassment is often the reaction you get......
 
We have 2 kids one in his teens and the other is older than that. We don't want them to know what our lifestyle is. So as it is we are as 24/7 as we can be under the circumstances. Of course the kids know I do the cooking, dishes and much of the cleaning and laundry but that's all they know and it doesn't seem to arouse any suspicion to them. This suits the both of us and we are happy.

Does any one else have kids living with them?
If so, how do you deal with that?
 
submissive1 said:
We have 2 kids one in his teens and the other is older than that. We don't want them to know what our lifestyle is. So as it is we are as 24/7 as we can be under the circumstances. Of course the kids know I do the cooking, dishes and much of the cleaning and laundry but that's all they know and it doesn't seem to arouse any suspicion to them. This suits the both of us and we are happy.

Does any one else have kids living with them?
If so, how do you deal with that?
Click to expand...

That's an excellent example of a "reality-based lifestyle" relationship.

In our home it is just the two of us, so I am always impressed by those who deal with other family members in the same home while trying to incorporate a lifestyle beyond the norm into their daily lives.

Kinkish1
 
Does any one else have kids living with them?
Click to expand...

Only 4 of the little darlings! (3 pre-teens and baby)

Everything is locked up and stored away safely and we don't play serious stuff unless they are all out of the house. If baby is in the house and sleeping in her room then we might mess about a bit, but with the promise of an interruption any minute, we usually keep it light hearted and fun.

When the kids are asleep there is still the chance they may wander around in the middle of the night, so we just have "normal" sex then... well, quiet bondage, gags, vibrators, strap-ons, etc, etc!

My older children's dad did a lot of the housework (ironing while watching Grand Prix, and he was better at cooking) so they don't/wouldn't find it odd when pet does housework. And if they catch him rubbing my feet, or setting up a candle lit bath, they just think its romantic (or gross) and see it as healthy grown-up affection.
 
Thanks Mistress Watchful for sharing that with us.
I know I really appreciate hearing it.

Its nice BUT RARE if we are ever the only 2 at home.
Our sex is mostly me giving oral and using vibrators and dildos on my Dear Wife quietly at night. For me its an occasional hand job.

Not long ago I thought I would surprise my wife with a foot massage while we were all (including the kids) watching a movie and the next day my wife told me not to do that any more because it creeped out the kids. I thought it would set a nice example of how a loving married couple should be toward one another but I guess I was wrong.

My kids like that I cook because I do cook well. They also like when I do the laundry because they all get the right clothes back when I do it. LOL
These things seem to cause no suspicion at all. We like that. :smile:
 
My hubby and I showed very little affection in front of the children (actually there was also very little affection anywhere else!!!) but when pet and I got together, and now to a lesser extent, we are always kissing and hugging.

Sometimes the kids do the pre-teen "eughhhhh disgusting" but you can tell they are much happier seeing me happy and seeing that someone is looking after me.

Everyone's different though. :smile:
 
Great direction for this thread. We too have two small children at home. One is one and the other is four. As my Goddess/wife explicitly said no play when they are up it makes for a frustrating time sometimes as at their age that can be anytime, as I am sure you know. The good part is however I have never been able to keep my hands off of her-period. While I never thought much about a careless smack to her but, an impromptu but very passionate kiss, the four year old has started saying the obvious-that's gorss etc. Plus as my wife does not want my son to be getting the idea that it is ok to smack girls on the but she has instated some extra rules for my chastity training. Any inappropriate behavior or talk in front of the kids is grounds for extended lock up. So in a way we have carefully, very carefully worked around the kids. Now the rule is once the kids are away or sound to sleep AND we are in a secure room such as our bedroom with a lock then I am not permitted to be clothed and she is allowed to have as much fun as possible.

in regards to the 24/7 thing I have been in lockup since June 15th and it has not been off only for her teasing and then back in. Luckily I have gotten past the insecurities of wearing it out in public. For the longest time I swore people were staring. LOL
 
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