Thanks for all of your thoughtful responses, everyone.
So, whether you pursue it for real or just keep it as a fantasy, just know... there are others out here who enjoy additional sex partners without it ever being about his inadequacy or humiliation.
Thanks,
@LadyMoon. It's nice to hear affirmations like this; I am happy for you to have found a mutual understanding with your partner(s). When I first started reading into this subject, most of what I found was riddled with hateful tones and it never set right with Me. I quickly dismissed much of it, but have recently taken a new approach to understanding.
As a sidenote, and I believe I've said this here before, but it's pretty fascinating to Me how intensely we hang onto initial negative emotional responses to certain terms, even if they end up being palatable later in another tongue. But that's another thread entirely.
You both will know if it's right to transition from fantasy to reality. As long as mutual respect stays prominent, no reason why a beautiful life can't prevail.
Agreed. Mutual respect is crucial for Me, no matter the side of the slash. I don't think I could ever invite disrespect into our dynamic... Doubtful I'd enjoy the results.
Isn't it amazing how one can 'lovingly degrade' another?
I have mixed feelings on the subject. While I find it oddly erotic thinking of her getting extreme pleasure, I don’t think she is capable of separating sex and love making, and if she did take a lover it comes with the possibility that feelings would blossom. I am not a jealous person and have no problems separating sex and love, but it would crush me if she developed feelings and I had to share her emotionally.
Herein lies the potential debacle. It's so easy to remove those thoughts when playing with the fantasy, but as soon as actual logistics come into play it's clear those are concerns that we share. I've had sex when emotion wasn't in play, but it's been a long time and I'm much more... let's call it 'responsible' now, heh. I have no interest to revisit that phase, so it will indeed require a lot of input from both of us.
However, whether all live together or not, we feel that openness is key. Secrets can be insidious, and mistrust can poison a relationship.
Couldn't agree more with this. Even though expanding our experiences would ultimately be up to Me, a decision like this would definitely involve thorough communication and honest expression. Without that, I'd say a situation like this could be doomed to failure.
You just hit on one of my long time fantasies ... my wife taking a female lover who co-dommed my orgasms (and doubled my servitude).
Always happy to stoke imaginations!
However, what you were hitting on in response to what I 'hit' on certainly brings up a different scenario entirely. Although I don't have specific desires to
fully dominate a woman, I can safely say I would not want to share a dominant role with anyone else - man, woman, or anyone in between.
I
am entirely selfish, in that regard.
As
@LadyMoon has alluded to, I suspect there is a probably a not-so-subtle difference between 'sharing' and cuckolding.
...
So when we actually got together permanently, having fun with other people was something we were both comfortable with and wanted to explore. So there were never any issues between us - it was just having some fun. But as others have said on other forums/threads, introducing someone else into the relationship can create problems.
...
I am thinking from what you posted above, you are probably more into sharing than cuckolding (but I don't want to second guess you).
I can see your point here, no worries on the second-guessing.
Some of what you said makes sense... and even though this may sound contradictory to what I've already posted, I wouldn't label what we're discussing as solely 'sharing'.
To Me, sharing inherently promotes equality, but I would definitely be 'getting' more out of the potential exchange, physically-speaking. That's why I'm currently referring to...
this (whatever it may be) as cuckholding. Swinging seems it'd be in a different category as well, and that's not something I'm really interested in. Before us, yes. With previous lovers, I didn't experience the same level of possessiveness... but to say I'm protective of
@_and_smile would be an understatement. It's difficult for Me to imagine him with another woman in the same capacity.
And I wouldn't want to share certain parts of him with anyone else, either. While he finds elements of this fantasy enjoyable, it's more of a mental stimulation. Coupled with serving Me physically. I was the first women he tasted... As far as I'm concerned, I'll be the last and only.
Regardless, I dislike relying on firm definitions because sex isn't about ticking boxes, but it's obvious that another
entity at play - in some shape, form, or fashion - certainly strikes a chord within us both.
The thought that our relationship will fall apart or she will leave me for someone else has never even been a concern. We're comfortable and content in who we are. This can and may be an exciting time for you
@Breathe and no one can tell you if it's the right thing to do or not that's something your going to have to deside for yourself
Comfortable and content both seem imperative for an arrangement like this to flourish. I believe we'll have many conversations and experiences in between before something like this advances very far. I agree that no one can make this decision for Me, and I'm firmly comfortable in doing so as we progress.
It's exciting.
My first eye opener was the first time I had used the rather large strapon on her. The look on her face, the sounds she was making, the complete abandonment of self consciousness...she was in utter sexual delight. Not something I’ve seen before.
...
It did however open up some new fantasies for both of us once it was out in the open. Fantasies that both of us agreed when we started were hard limits. I think once the initial boundary of discussion is breached, it is easier and easier to let it go as far as you both want it to. Which can be pillow talk, or going through with it.
I think he's experienced similar sensations when I've had him strapped in. I don't use the strap-on solely because it's bigger - he's a very nice size naturally which is why I've always enjoyed using him. As such, using the strap-on eliminates the only reason he has to stop fucking Me... as he can't feel Me like he can when I'm edging him purposefully. It was fulfilling, watching him smile after he filled Me over and over again without that need to stop. Seeing what it did for Me. I'm pretty sure that's when these desires started to surface... as he's not able to do that nonstop, himself, with his natural equipment.
It's so interesting how quickly hard limits can shift when discussed...
If and when the time is ever right, hopefully you will both be on the same page and know it. The thoughts of it evolving for my Queen and I are frequently at work for me, and I know the idea is clearly planted in the back of Her mind. I also don't feel as if this has to take on a humiliating or emotionally hurtful tone. While some may crave that, it clearly is not a necessary piece of the puzzle for all of us.
I'm sure that just as many people crave the hurtful elements as those who don't. Given our history, I'm glad those pieces aren't present in our puzzle too. It's a heady subject, regardless... one I look forward to learning much more about. Best of luck to you two on that journey, by the way.
My, what a loop this has thrown Me into!