May need advice on my journey

S

slaveboymiami

Junior Member
Sep 11, 2008
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I am a 31 year old submissive man. I have learned a lot as when I was 25 I met an older dominant woman who was very experienced.

We experimented with short term chastity, feminization, domination, pain, humiliation, and just about anything else.

I now live with my current girlfriend of two years. She is a wonderful, gorgeous, and smart woman. I feel she is superior to me. She has always had a curiosity about BDSM and we have experiemented a bit. We have floggers, ball gags, and other treats.... We attend many fetish parties in Miami as down here we have amazing fetish night life.

The other night during a sexual encounter she became dominant and ordered that I attain a chastity device as she wants me to wear it during the next party. She also stated that we would buy female clothing complete with locking 6 inch heels for myself that I will be expected to wear once we get home from the party.

As you can imagine I am extremely excited. I would love for her to be dominant more often and the idea of her keeping me in chastity makes me dizzy. She has denied me a couple of times where I was made to swear that I would not come for a weekend and I feel in love with her once again during those times.

I wouldnt like to pressure her or push her in anyway. I wonder though if anyone here can help me show her the virtues of a femdom relationship?
 
You could start by showing here this web site also if you follow the link to my blog there are a few links to Mistresses who have great blog entries in which they show how enjoyable female domination can be. The trick is not to be too pushy. I’ve been a bit too pushy in the past and it’s hindered things more than anything.

I’ve been with my partner for 5 years and he’s been my master for about 2 and we’re still learning. These things take time. Although from the sound of it things seem to be going quite quickly for yourselves.
 
Thanks for the responce. I actually made the mistake of pressuring her at first.

I was so used to kinky sex for a number of years that I was forcing the situation on my current girlfriend. She didnt want to hear anything about kink. She was also scared of her kinky thoughts. It was a bad mistake on my part. I thought that I pushed away that side of her for good.

Luckily after some time we slowly started experimenting again and going to fetish night clubs which awoke her kinky side.

I dont know if showing her this site maybe pushing it a tad.
 
Well,

My gf and I had a major talk last night. She expressed that she loves me so very much but she doesnt know if I feel the same. She went on to say that she was totally happy as before.

I must admit that I havent been the same as I was earlier in our relationship. We have become a bit boring. We have had a terrible year as the finances took a terrible turn and I know that the situation has gotten the better of me, things are now better but we have gone through so much that I think we lost a bit of ourselves during the ordeal. I think we are in a funk. After talking it out we had the most amazing night. We have been great so far today.

I reminded her of a weekend about a year ago when she playfully denied me orgasm while she received many. She always expressed that our relationship seemed magical that weekend.

I expressed that I think our relationship would make a turn for the better if that were our arrangment always. We talked about the chastity belt again. But this time it wasnt just for some fun at a party. She had this huge grin as she expressed that she has desires to deny me.

Keep you posted!
 
Slaveboymiami-
First of best of luck in your situation and I am so jealous of where you live as I have wanted to visit Miami's night life terribly bad. I was there once during the day time hours and it was incredible.

As far as yoru approach I think I can help here. Having married the woman of my dreams I too was in the same boat you are now in. She has a kinky side but how do you bring it out and then show her how much fun it can be. I am sure most women will tell you what I took a little too long to learn-patience. If there is the interest on her part, and it sounds like there is, then move slowly. However once you start playing/living out the fantasy your actions will show her the rewards or lack thereof that her actions brought on. Shower her in affection-don't be fake, do the little things that us crazy men forget the minute we get that great woman in our lives. Be careful what you wish for however, once my wife decided to play this game she devised a card game that I ended up losing at only to "win" a 90 day sentence with only 4 guaranteed releases. Bad news release one came only three days into the sentence.

On a completely diferent note the one comment of caution here is the part where you said "I expressed that I think our relationship would make a turn for the better if that were our arrangment always." If there are other areas of yoru relationship that need work, then by all means work them out first. Any form of lifestyle that involves extra responsibility above the considered normal will add extra stress. If she has other issues, not saying she does, she may feel less inclined to "play" and eventually you will build resetment, depending on your level of submissiveness. Anyway don't want to get to deep here but only speaking from experience. In short enjoy it, but make sure she enjoys it more and you can bet you will unleash more than you bargained for.
 
xcitex2, Thanks for the responce.

I love Miami. born and raised here. The night life is a crazy non stop thrill ride. The only problem is getting caught up in all the glitz, the beautiful women, and parties.

Well we are now working on those issues. We were not fighitng or anything. We just hit a rut. I got so caught up worring about finances that I think I forgot about her. She is amazing with me and I cant ask for more... We had a long open conversation and it seems like the romance is coming back as im doing the little things that make her happy... I will take it slowly. We went to a fetish party last night and had some fun. Even though I am mostly sub I do enjoy switching and I love to flog as I like to entertain at the local fetish events. So i florentined flogged her. She later flogged a girl that we know. We danced, drank, and watched a lot. I was trying to be mindful to let her explore and warm up to it on her own with me as a guide... To my surpise she wispered in my ear that she know that she is attracted to the BDSM scene as she feels happy and content when at a good fetish event....

As you said, I just have to be patient. thanks for the kind words.
 
My experience with this sort of situation has been that generally speaking, so long as she is given time to absorb the experiences and process them, they'll come around... that is, if it's a proclivity within thier choices, which i think you've stated she clearly already has. Be patient, and it will come.

As well, what Xcite said is absolutely bang on. There are many other aspects to what you should/shouldn't do, but the best advice is to simply let her lead. She IS Domme after all. :)~

brianna :)
 
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