mikecb's journey

Venting ahead

Ugh, what a charming beginning to the weekend.

Let me begin by saying that I love my wife, but she is is a total slob. She is a junk collector in the worst way. Our house is a total trash heap. She won't throw anything away, and goes ballistic if I try to do so myself. So, as a consequence, over the last 20 years, our house has turned into, what I affectionately refer to privately, as a "shit hole". We literally have 15 year old piles of newspapers that she refused to throw out "until I get a chance to read them". There are piles of clutter and crap to the ceiling along every wall in the house.

I've tolerated it for our entire relationship because she has a lot of emotional problems and baggage, and me ragging on her about cleaning is just one more stress in her life that I've tried to spare her, much to my own suffering. I'm at about my wits end with it, though. I'm angry most of the time I'm in my own house, because I can't stand the mess. I've been quite near the breaking point over it for the last six months.

Anyway, this evening, I was cleaning the cat litter box, and stumbled into one of her piles of junk as I walked by, knocking some stuff on the floor. She was outside at the time, so I was somewhat less reserved in the "power words" I used, as I picked up the junk, and heaved it back in the pile. Well, my Wife was just walking in the door as I grumbled "God fucking dammit!" and slammed the stuff back into it's mountain of clutter.

Now, I have saint-like patience, but my tolerance for the mess is at it's end. My wife overheard me and started barking orders at me "WELL GO OUTSIDE AND WALK IT OFF UNTIL YOU CALM DOWN!" Her yelling that, when I was already in a foul mood about the mess just set me off. I retorted "FUCK THAT, WHY DON'T YOU CLEAN UP THIS SHIT HOLE, LIKE YOU'VE BEEN PROMISING FOR THE LAST 20 YEARS, OR I'M OUTTA HERE!"

She burst into tears, muttering "I've been trying", and ran into the back yard to sulk. Great.

I milled around in the house for a few minutes until my own temper was under control, and went and found her in the yard to calm her down. After a bit, she came back inside for an "uneasy truce" for the evening. She was knitting, and seemed a little calmer, I tried to make some small talk with her and cuddle. She looked at me somewhat grumpily, and said "If you think I'm going to do this Mistress/slave stuff any more, you can forget it."

I would have preferred it if she punched me in the stomach. Over the last week or so, she's been aware I've been wearing my CB, and even acted playful about it a bit. Though we really haven't had any conversations about her keyholding, I was somewhat hoping that would be a talk we would have this weekend. That was clearly out the window, now. Secondly, what the hell made her think we've been doing ANY D/s play?!? We haven't. The way she said it, made me think she believed we've been doing some kind of D/s lately. I don't know what the heck she was thinking. I responded to her comment, I'll admit in a somewhat snarky tone, with "I wasn't aware we HAD been." She just looked at me blankly. Sigh.

We didn't really talk much for the rest of the evening. She did her knitting, and I played WoW. I tucked her into bed in a somewhat more normal mood, but she was still acting out of sorts.

My hopes for any conversations about keyholding in the near future seem dashed. I suppose in the big picture, it's good we had a tiff about the mess in the house. I really AM just about to the point of walking out if she doesn't do something about it. If there is something to be working on in our relationship, I suppose it should be THAT, rather than keyholding.

Groan. Happy fuckin' weekend.
 
She looked at me somewhat grumpily, and said "If you think I'm going to do this Mistress/slave stuff any more, you can forget it."
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That was not very nice in my opinion to say that (sorry). Maybe a revenge in the heat of the battle?
 
sophia said:
That was not very nice in my opinion to say that (sorry). Maybe a revenge in the heat of the battle?
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sophia, most likely yes. At times, my wife is amazingly perceptive. It may well be that she sensed that I was building toward another conversation over keyholding, and she just short-circuited it. That wouldn't surprise me at all.

However, at another level, I think may have a subconscious attempt to forgive herself for losing her temper. "Oh, I was being Dominant". In this case, I refused to let her get her way.

Hell, as she tried to order me around in the midst of our fight, a small part of me was saying "Ya, baby!" while the larger angrier part was saying "No way, you've got to show a little quid quo pro before I'll give you that kind of power".
 
mike, while i am no doctor i know that there is a specific disease that causes people to need to keep every piece of junk that they touch. i know absolutely nothing about it but if you google "Collyers Mansion" you can read all about a famous NYC case from the 1940s. i think it's also called compulsive hoarding.
 
Mikecb sorry to hear about your weekend problems but one thing i do know for sure is that sometimes it does you good to vent all the little frustrations and niggles in a relationship and one thing is for sure bottling it all up and pretending that everything is hunky dory when it isnt is not a good thing to do. The best thing is to try and convince your wife that your needs as well as hers can best be served if you are both truly happy living the life you have chosen, and as your ideal would be to serve her totally try to explain about the benefits she might gain by you having to keep the house and all its contents in her order as one of your assigned chores. I have spent a total of 33 years married to my wife and could easily have looked for someone else who had similar sexual desires as mine but i trod the difficult path of attempting to merge our desires to try to keep the one true love of my life by my side. Marriage is hard work and normally there is one person who is more self assured and stubborn than the other this is my wife and even though she drives me mad sometimes when she belittles my fetishes and kinks ,she is so strong in her mind that she is always right that i know she was born to dominate men and i was born to be submissive to her. If only all women could sit and discuss things in a reasoned manner and try to make a workable solution life could be so straightforward but no they just scream at you ,storm out of the door banging it behind them and then leave you there fuming, wanting to calm things down but ending up exactly where they want you saying sorry and apologising for everything. MY GOD ive just realised they are dominating us right from the word go but not all of them are doing it in the sexy way we have been fantasising about all these years. Were all doomed i tell ya!:anim_25:
 
The only good thing about arguments is that the parties can both, if interested and mature enough, step back and try to see the others person viewpoint.

Free advice (given in a general 'I do not know you so disregard what dos not apply' sense):

Has she been trying? If you do not know, ask her. Ask her what she wants, if you can help her, and if so how.

Vice versa - let her know what you want. Ask her if she is willing to help you get it, and if so how she can help. Find out if she understands what you want - not just 'he wants me to do ...' but does she understand how .... makes you feel and why it makes you feel that way. (If you know the why - I am on a self discovery journey myself).

You can only start with you, so give it a shot. It's got to be better then sitting around being mad.

And hang in there!

js
 
I just discovered this journal today and I love the honest realism of it. Thanks, Mike, for putting so much out there so truthfully. It's one thing to know we're not alone in our fantasies. It's an even better thing to know that we're not alone in the painful struggles of our actual relationships.
 
Thanks for the kind comments all. Things are much better today. The Mrs and I have had a nice day together, so far. Even the kitty seems extra cuddly today. lol
 
No news is good news, I suppose. My Wife and I had a pleasant day together. Our spat of the other night seems behind us, which is good. Sometimes these things fester and rebound after a few days. The weather even cleared enough for me to take her out for some scooter riding lessons. She's taking the Motorcycle Safety Foundation class next week, and wants as much practice time as possible. She did really well!

I'm completing my second full week of pretty much 24/7 in the CB3k. I've only been out of it for a few partial nights, when I had some discomfort on my frenum. The piercing seems completely fine, which is awesome! :chores037:

I spent the weekend working on my scooter, installing the cargo rack from hell, and then a new carburetor. I have a performance exhaust to install, too, but I ran out of time. I'm having fun getting my hands greasy, though. :character0182:
 
Mike glad to hear the situation is settling down for you at home. I kind of envy the scooter thing however. I spent 15+ years in the automotive industry and one thing I always loved doing was restoring and creating modifications. I keep thinking one day soon when I get time and money (neither of which I have now LOL) I will get a car I can restore with my two boys.

Anyway not much else to add hope you had a good ending to your weekend.
 
Hehe.. well, as if I don't have enough new toys to play with at the moment with the performance upgrades for my scooter, my wife an I went out and got iPhones last night!

*twirls beenie propeller* :manga_devil:
 
Hey gang, just a brief update. There's not much shaking here. I've been wearing my CB-3000 pretty much non-stop all month, with a few orgasms along the way. I've taken off the belt a few nights, when I felt a little swelling on my frenum, but that's about it. It's working very well. I would say that except for the occasional problems on the frenum, I'm good with 24/7 wear at this point.

I haven't pursued the keyholding issue with my wife, since her "declaration" when we were arguing a few weeks ago. I figure I will let time heal some wounds before we start down that conversation. Right now, we're doing really well, so that's good.

Mostly, I've been playing with my scooter, and my new iPhone. Life's been pretty good :-).

Take care all!
mikecb
 
Hi Mike,

Glad to hear that things are getting better, I do agree though, time would be good before bringing keyholding up again, it'll all be good in the end.
 
Now you have done it

mikecb said:
Hehe.. well, as if I don't have enough new toys to play with at the moment with the performance upgrades for my scooter, my wife an I went out and got iPhones last night!

*twirls beenie propeller* :manga_devil:
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I am so addicted to my iPhone that now my wife who is the last person earth to get into gadgets wants one as well. LOL So much fun! I just found a way last night to use th thethering function without having to hack the phone! Email if you are interested, it works great!
 
Two amusing observations for today...

Monday, I was at the gym after my Spinning class. Our locker room has two private shower stalls, and a gang shower. Obviously, locked in my CB, I wanted to use one of the private stalls. Well, some guy was in one of the stalls showering, as I got into the locker room. I stripped down to my cycling shorts, and got ready to use the other stall. Another guy entered moments after me, and did the express-strip, and ran over and took the second stall before I could get there. So, there I was, standing in the gym, waiting for one of the stalls to free up to shower. It sure felt like everyone was staring at me, wondering why I didn't just go into the gang showers. To make matters worse, these guys took FOREVER to shower. I sorted through my locker, checked my voicemail on my phone, checked my EMAIL on my phone, checked my facebook (gotta love that iPhone)... waiting, waiting... FINALLY, the second guy finished his shower, and I took his stall. The first guy (who took about a 20 minute shower) finally finished while I was showering. I was tempted to holler over the wall "If you scrub it more than twice you're playing with it!). Anyway, that was a delicious "trapped" moment, as I stood there helpless to shower, due to my chastity device.

On another note, it's been about 3 weeks since, well, yanno. I REALLY shouldn't spend my lunch hour reading FemDom and chastity blogs. Dear gawwd! I'm so horny I could rape a gopher hole!
 
Dear gawwd! I'm so horny I could rape a gopher hole!
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Well lucky for you Mike the plane tickets are in the mail. We have a full backyard of those damn gopher holes. LOL Your shower story just cracked me up as I could just see me trying to stall enough time to get the private shower. LOL
 
strip off mikecb whats the worst that would happen. Tell anyone who is brave enough to be looking at you that close down there that you wear it for that very reason to stop anyone other than your wife from access to it, that should shut em up.:anim_12:
 
Hi all, Not much new here. I'm now working on duration between cleanings. As was pointed out elsewhere, I find that after about 4 days, "Chastity stinks". I've been working on different angles of attack with Q-tips to try and get things clean. I'm trying to increase the period between cleanings, if I can.

I think the problem is the natural accumulation of dead skin cells inside the tube. Try as I might with my shower head to blast water around in there, there are some places that just don't get good water circulation. I'm finding that if I ram a Q-tip along the underside of my penis, and scrub both the tube and the skin a bit, it comes back a little discolored, and some of the smell goes away. I just used about 3 Q-tips to scrape and scrub, and it seems significantly less gamey now.

We'll see how it goes. I suppose getting to weekly cleanings would be reasonable. I still marvel at the folks who say they wear their devices for a month or more without removal. How the HECK do they keep it from getting nasty?!?
 
Mike go to your local auto parts store. Look around in the detailing section for detailing sponges or swabs. They are package of various size sponges mounted on flexible small plastic handles. Some you can use but some are too big of a sponge or to short a handle to be effective. They are cheap and there are probably 4 or so that you can use. You can use them over and over again. i also use to use a hairdryer to dry inside but make sure it has a cool button on it. Set it on low or warm and just after you feel a warm sensation hit the cool button. If it feels like a cool spring breeze there is still moisture inside the tube. You can also use the handles of the detailing sponges to move your penis around inside the tube to get it dry in places that you normally wouldn't be able to get to very well. You still will find however that a once a week cleaning out of the device is necessary during the hot months. You may be able to go a little longer in the cool/winter months depending on how active you are.

Rachel
 
Rachel, thanks for the ideas. I'll look around while I'm at the auto parts store today. Even after I did as much cleaning as I could last night, using about 4 q-tips, this morning I could smell myself again. I decided to pop off the CB and give both it, and it's contents a thorough cleaning.

mikecb
 
From a blog I read... "Forever in her service"... DAMN, this was so hot, I cut/paste it here just to remember it....
Here she decided to show me just how turned on she was, how wet the teasing and spanking had made her... she wanted me to fuck her and didn't need a drop of lube, I slid right in. She warned me that I was not going to cum tonight, then had me give her an orgasm with her property. Afterward she was playing with my nipples as I continued to thrust, slowly, unable to get over how wet she was and how good it felt. The next dreaded order was not long in coming -- "Edge yourself and then pull out."

I say dreaded because of the self control required when I'm inside her to pull out when I'm on the edge. It's harder to gauge when I've got all the other distractions of sex when I'm on the edge, and so I always worry that I'm going to miss that cue and thrust just one time too many and stumble over the edge, loosing my cum all over her stomach and legs and I try to get out. Of course the result of that would be cleanup duty (if not more) so I try to avoid it as best I can. When I'm masturbating and trying to edge myself it's a lot easier, because I only have my own actions to worry about. Still, I did as ordered, and I'm sure a whimper or two escaped me as I pulled back from her warm pussy and left her property, covered in her juices, hanging in the air desperate for more.

"Good boy," she said. She had me rub her to another orgasm and then we got ready for bed. I put on some boxers and she sounded disappointed that I wasn't sleeping naked, so I quickly stripped them off.

"I don't want you to lock up in the morning," she said. A relief, a day, except that I didn't cum so this morning promised to be a long one. Unlocked, desperately horny and under strict orders to behave myself. I woke up at one point this morning with a raging hard on and almost gave in to the urge to just hold it... I had to will both hands to stay put at my sides until I got up and went to the bathroom. Even now, part of my brain is sure I could keep it under control if I just edged myself once or twice while looking at some porn... but it is her property and I don't have permission to play with it right now.

I couldn't love her more if I tried.
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I want his life! lol
 
very hot mike! i love the idea of making Mistress orgasm with none for me. W/we have done just that many times when i am required to worship Her pussy. but when i am inside Her i must orgasm because She loves the feeling sooo much and it makes Her come really hard.
 
Thanks Mike, already frustrated as hell then you go and put that up. LOL

Hey by the way you may already know about these but in case you did not these swabs here work perfect for when I wear the CB series device I have. I can go over a week keeping the dreaded smell away using them daily. Good thing is they last forever and you can use them over and over without having to toss them out. I use one for cleaning and the other for drying as best as can. Anyway just trying to help.

Later!
 
There are so many things I could say here. I just can't choose, so:

Posted without comment, from a friend's facebook:

"Toilet Seat: 1. 4-year-old's Penis: 0. Big ouch! Big Bruise!"
 
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